Sacrifice (20 page)

Her face was blurry through his tears. “I would have taken care of you, Mom.”

“I couldn’t ask you to do that, Will. You had your own life.”

He laughed bitterly. “My own life. Yeah, that’s rich. My own life has been one lowlife job after another, dealing with the scum of the earth. I have to take responsibility for that too, but your betrayal didn’t help.”

Her voice quivered. “Will, I’m so sorry. If I could do it over again, I would. I’d change it all. I wouldn’t have thrown you away.”

He shook his head, choking back years of grief.

“There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think about you. From the moment I wake up to when my head hits the pillow at night, you’re in my thoughts. You’re in my heart. I thought I was protecting myself by siding with your father, but what I didn’t realize was that I threw away the greatest gift I’d ever been given. You.”

He pinched his lips tight, breathing through his nose as he looked up at the ceiling. He refused to break down in front of her.

“I’ve hated myself for three years for letting you leave with your father’s ugly words filling your head. There’s a reason he treated you like he did, and that’s my fault too.” Her voice shook and she took a deep breath, a coughing spell in its wake. When her breathing came under control, her grip on his hand tightened. “You are not a monster, Will. You are a good man and I’m so proud to call you my son.”

His tears broke. He’d waited years to hear her say this again. Why didn’t it make everything better?

“There’s another reason I wanted you to come.”

Gritting his teeth to still his trembling chin, he waited.

“I wanted to give you something.” She pointed a hand to the nightstand. “It’s there in that drawer.”

Pulling it open, he saw a handful of objects.

“That blue pouch. Hand it to me.”

Will retrieved the small silk bag, drawn closed with a corded drawstring, and placed it in his mother’s outstretched palm.

With shaky fingers, she pulled it open and poured a small object into her hand. Silver glittered in the overhead light.

She looked up at him with a faltering smile, tears in her eyes. “I wanted you to have this, but I couldn’t be sure your father would give it to you.” She grabbed his right hand and slid a silver band on his ring finger. “It fits perfectly. It’s like it belongs on you.”

Will examined the thick band with a central blue stone.

“It belonged to someone very special to me. I want you to have it.”

“Who?” He studied her face.

The smile fell from her eyes, replaced with a longing that caught him off guard. “Never you mind that part. The important thing is that you have it now. I should have given it to you years ago, but life got in the way…” She lay back against her pillow, looking even more tired than she did before.

Life got in the way of lots of things. Will lay his head on the bed next to her.

She placed a hand in his hair, stroking in a halting movement. “So your life…is it still unsettled?”

The loving gesture, one she’d done countless times years ago, broke the dam to his heart. “Yes,” he choked out through his tears.

“I’m so sorry. I’m so very sorry.” She continued to run her hand over his head as he cried into the blanket. “I’d change it if I could.” Her voice turned wistful. “I’d change so many things…”

Will knew better than anyone that what was done was done. He sat up and wiped his face with the back of his arm. “We can’t change the past, Mom. We can only go forward.”

She pinched her trembling lips and nodded. “So tell me. Is there anyone special in your life?”

“Have you been talking to James?”

Her eyes lit up. “So there
is
someone.”

Hesitating, he considered his answer. Where
did
Emma fit into his life? He didn’t even know her, yet the fact that he worried about her right now, wondering if she was safe…that had to mean something. “Yes.”

She cocked her head with a raised eyebrow, the same expression she’d used when he was a boy withholding information.

I love a woman but I don’t know anything about her other than she has magic powers
. God, he was crazy. “Her name is Emma. She has a little boy, Jake. He’s five.”

“So no children of your own?” she asked with a hopeful tone.

He looked down at their clasped hands. He’d had a baby but not any more, the grief still fresh. “No.”

She patted his hand. “So what do you do for a living now?”

Releasing a derisive laugh, he looked over her shoulder. “I’m currently between jobs.”

“I see…”

His eyes pierced hers. “Have you been happy, Mom? Did Dad try to make you happy these last years?” He hoped she would say yes, so that his pain would have been for something.

She shook her head. “No. I regretted forcing you to leave the moment you drove away. Your father blamed me for what happened.”

“Why?”

“He said if I’d been firmer with you years ago…”

“I’m sorry.”

Tears filled her eyes. “No, none of it was true, but I deserved every bit of it for the choices I made. All of them.” She paused. “If you love this woman, then whatever you do, no matter what, don’t let her go.” Her eyes burned with an intensity that frightened him. “Don’t let things or circumstances separate you two. If you love her and she loves you, fight for her.”

The ferocity of her words made her sound like she spoke from firsthand experience. Was she referring to losing Will or someone else? He glanced down at the blue stone on his hand.

Placing her fingertips on the band, she twisted gently. “This ring is very special to me. Promise me that you’ll take care of it.”

He nodded. “Who did it belong to?”

Tears filled her eyes and she gave him a tight smile. “Some things are better left in the past.”

They sat in silence for several moments before Will looked at the clock. James would come find him soon. “I’m going to have to go soon.”

“I won’t see you again, will I?”

Will choked back his tears. “No.”

“Well, then I guess this is goodbye.”

“Yeah.” He laid his head down on the bed and she stroked it as the blanket under his cheek grew damp with tears.

“When you were a little boy you used to be afraid of the dark, until I let you keep that old mutt that turned up on our back doorstep. Rusty.”

“I loved that dog.”

“I know.” He heard the smile in her voice. “But before he showed up you were plagued for months with nightmares. Do you remember?”

“Yeah, it was about water and fire and terrible storms and losing someone I loved. I was sure it was you. I was terrified you were going to die and leave me all alone.”

“Yes, that’s what you’d always say when you woke up so frightened you’d refuse to go back to sleep. So I’d have you lay down and I’d run my hand over the top of your head, until you drifted off. You’d hang on to consciousness, afraid to fall asleep and lose me.” Her voice broke. “For three years, I’ve been scared to go to sleep, terrified I’d drift off forever and lose you. Now that I’ve found you again, I’m no longer afraid.”

“Mom.” Will raised his head, choking back his tears.

She cupped his face. “My baby, no matter where you are, no matter what you do, I will always love you. There’s nothing you could ever do to make me not love you anymore.”

Will covered her hand with his.

“If you love this woman, don’t let her go, Will. Love her with everything you’ve got. Love is a precious gift. Don’t squander it like I did.”

The door pushed open and an orderly in scrubs walked in with a chart. “Mrs. Davenport, we’re ready to take you down to radiology now.”

His mother looked stricken.

Will leaned his forehead into hers. “It’s okay. I have to go anyway.”

She nodded, closing her eyes as she swallowed. “I love you, Will.”

“I love you too, Mom.”

The orderly wheeled her bed away and Will studied the moving cars in the parking lot, refusing to watch one more person leave him.

Chapter Sixteen

Alex and Emma climbed into Alex’s rental car and drove north of Kansas City.

“Are you going to tell me where we’re going?” Emma’s apprehension had soared after driving two hours. The fact that they were in spottily populated farmland didn’t help her fears. After his momentary switch to smarmy Alex in her room, she didn’t trust him.

With a wink, he laughed. “Not one for being patient, are you, Emma?”

“You said it was Freedom Day. What does that mean?” Her imagination ran wild with the possibilities.

“Exactly what it sounds like, Emma. God, you’re paranoid.”

“With good reason.”

“Maybe so, but I’ve told you multiple times, even though I need you on my side to win this fight with Aiden, I don’t want you around me now. What is so evil about either of those things? Seeing how I’m one of your least favorite people, you think you’d be glad to be rid of me.”

Did he plan to hide her in the boonies? Keep her trapped with some magical force field to hide her from Raphael?

He pulled off the highway into a midsized town. Continuing through town, he pulled into a hospital parking lot and turned off the engine.

“Why are we at a hospital in Morgantown?”

He laughed. “Do you know how much fun it is watching you squirm?”

“Go to hell, Alex.”

“I suspect I will someday, or our own special version of it, but hopefully not today.” He opened the car door and pulled out her bag. “Let’s go.”

“Why do you have my bag?”

“Because you and I are parting ways here.”

She had little choice but to follow him inside. Her stomach twisted. God only knew what Alex had planned.

***

Will sat in a faded vinyl-covered chair, staring out the window. He couldn’t believe he actually saw his mother. Or that she apologized and said if she had to do it over, she would have chosen differently.

Or that she’d soon be gone.

He was losing everything and everyone. His mother. Emma. The baby. He sat up, grim determination squaring his shoulders. He didn’t have to lose Emma. He’d figure out a way to find her and find out if this was all real.

The decision slid into place and for the first time since he lost his memory, he felt a renewed sense of purpose. He needed a plan. He didn’t even know the first place to look for her, but with all of James’s secrets, he might know where she was or at least have some clues. Eager to corner James, Will walked into the hall, stopping in his tracks at the sight of the man coming toward him.

His father.

Everyone had always commented how alike the two men were, and there was a time that Will had taken pride in it. His father was as tall as Will, but his dark hair had grayed. Crow’s feet etched his face, as did deep frown lines. His father’s eyes were cold and distant. It suddenly hit Will that his own eyes had held that same haunted look.

His father was absorbed in a phone conversation, glancing out the side window as he walked. Will froze, torn between what he wanted to do and what he should do—walk away, hopefully without being noticed. But all the destruction his father had caused ignited Will’s anger. He clenched his hands at his sides, ready to confront him.

One thing stopped him. Emma. Now that he’d made the decision to find her, he couldn’t let his father get in his way. Who knew what his father would do if he knew Warren was after Will? He’d probably turn him in without batting an eyelash. Will couldn’t afford to be caught. Stuffing his anger, he took a deep breath and bent down to pretend to tie his shoe.

His father passed by him, his phone to his ear. “…I’ll try to be there tonight. Wear that red slinky thing I like so much.”

Will recognized the inflection in his father’s voice. He’d used it himself more often than he wanted to admit. He suddenly wanted to vomit. His mother was days from death and his father planned to go screw his latest plaything. But Will realized he was just like him. He may have purposely taken a job his father hated, but he tried to emulate him in other ways. Isolating himself from everyone around him. Moving from one woman to the next. At least he never cheated on a wife and kids. At least he had one up on the shithead.

After his father turned the corner, Will stood and took a few deep breaths. He needed to get the hell away from everything that represented his painful past. He needed to find James.

***

Alex had brought her through the main entrance, which she saw as a positive sign, until he ducked into a stairwell and began climbing.

She walked up two steps and stopped. “Where are we going?”

He paused then turned to face her. “Emma, I promise this isn’t some kind of trick or trap. If you will keep climbing these stairs,”—he pointed up—“I have a very special surprise for you.”

“But—”

He held up his hand. “You will thank me for this. You have no idea how much I’m counting on that fact. But before you discover what I’ve given you, and before I teach you how to hide your power, you have to promise me something.”

She tilted her head with narrowed eyes. “What?”