Sadie's Surrender (13 page)

“I don’t know yet. Tonight didn’t…go well.”

“You can’t do nothin’ right, can you?” Mama shook her fist. “Why couldn’t you just do your shuckin’ and mind your own business?”

“Because I can’t stand that life,” Sadie ground out behind a clenched jaw.

“No, you had to put on airs. Doin’ that fancy business figuring.”

“You don’t complain about the extra money, do you?” Sadie retorted.

“No, but with all those brains, you’re awful dumb to believe a powerful white man would want you. Buck walked out on you, didn’t he? And he’s one of us.”

Something snapped inside Sadie. She’d always held back because Mama was old and had had a hard life. But, after tonight, she couldn’t take any more of the woman’s criticism.

“Leave me be!” she yelled.

“Don’t you talk to your mother that way.”

“I mean it, Mama.” Sadie stared her down. “I’m beyond tired of your insults. If one more nasty word comes out of your mouth, so help me I’ll rip your tongue out!”

Mama stared, too, her eyes full of hardness and sass. Sadie gasped, realizing she looked into a mirror. Seeing her older self. To her surprise, the other woman’s face crumpled. With shaking shoulders, Mama ran to her bedroom and slammed the door.

The sound of her sobs raked Sadie’s chest, making her forget about tonight’s humiliation. She hadn’t cried like that since Papa had died. Why couldn’t they talk tomorrow? Everything would look better then. Couldn’t look much worse.

She opened Mama’s door and found her sitting slumped on her bed. Her work-worn hand held a ragged hanky to her face. Unlike Henry’s, this bed was bowed in the middle from age. A faded picture of Sadie’s late father hung over it. The woman had never appeared more pitiful and helpless.

Sadie sat beside her. “Don’t cry, Mama. I’m sorry.”

The other woman sniffed. “No, I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you.”

“Could have fooled me. You put me down all the time.” Sadie jabbed the air with her fingers. “How do you think that makes me feel?”

“I—”

“I know I’m not as pretty as Pearl, or Rose, or most other women. I don’t need you to keep rubbing my face in it.”

“You gonna let me explain or not?”

Sadie pursed her lips. “Go ahead. This ought to be good.”

“In case you haven’t noticed, I ain’t pretty, either,” Mama said.

“You’re not supposed to be. You’re old.”

“Hmph.” A smile flickered on her lips. “I meant when I was young like you. My mama died young, so I didn’t have a woman to warn me.”

“About what?” Sadie asked, wondering if her mother was growing senile. She sure didn’t make much sense.

“About what life is like here for a colored woman. Especially one without the special beauty your cousin’s got. The rejections. The looks of disgust. That is, if people even look at you at all.”

Life must have been even harder twenty years ago.

Mama wiped her nose. “If I constantly told you how special and beautiful you are, the rest of the world would hurt you more.”

Sadie frowned. “You mean you’ve been trying to toughen me up?”

“I suppose so.” She patted her daughter’s knee. “I guess I overdid it. You’re better off than I was because you’ve got smarts.”

Had her mother just complimented her? Maybe the whole night was a dream after all.

“Then why don’t you ever tell me? Would it kill you to be proud of me once in a while?”

Mama gripped her arm and stared into her eyes with such intense love, Sadie shivered.

“Girl, I am proud of you. So proud.”

Sadie covered her mouth with her hand. “Truly?”

How could she not have realized it?

Mama nodded. “You take care of us real good. I’m glad Buck left so I have you all to myself.”

Speechless, Sadie left her mother’s room and drifted into hers. The notes she’d written from the business books, scrawled across her walls, mocked her. If only she and Henry had kept things all business.

The cracked mirror, loose doorknob, and tinge of mildew reminded her how imperfect she was. She collapsed onto the small bed and rolled to her side, careful not to dislodge the slab of wood supporting its one short leg. After tonight, she’d never lie on her back again.

She was smart, she reminded herself. Wasn’t that more important than how she looked? And if Mama believed she was beautiful, did it really matter what he thought of her? Not in the long run.

In the meantime she had to figure out what to do with her broken heart. Unfortunately, she wouldn’t find the answer in a business book.

Chapter Ten

Henry staggered away from his cottage, dressing himself as he went. Natalie drifted away with each step until she returned to what she’d been for years, a shadow of a memory. Why had he seen her so clearly—so gruesomely—in his bed?

As Natalie receded, the vision of Sadie strengthened. One by one, he remembered details like the candles and wine. Her pretty dress. The trust in her eyes. Tonight was supposed to be so special.

Shuddering, he put himself in her place. She had no idea who Natalie was because he’d never told her. To her, his odd behavior must have resembled disgust and rejection. She was so sensitive about her looks, he couldn’t have hurt her more if he’d tried.

She’d never forgive him. Instead, she’d hate him. Might even seek revenge. Unfortunately, she held Rockfield’s in the palm of her hand. Day by day, he’d given her power. If she wanted to, she could sabotage everything.

He was as sunk as a boat with a hole in it. Why had he been stupid enough to mix business with passion? He had to tell Caleb. Everything. To finally admit what a complete failure he was. Staring at the black water, he was tempted to throw himself into it.

Henry stopped and clenched his fists, welcoming the pressure in his knuckles. He was a man, for God’s sake. Not a scared boy. Sadie needed his apology, explanation, and compassion right now.

Doing an about face, he headed back home to repair the damage he’d done. Most of all, he needed to make sure she was all right. The last thing he wanted was for her to dash off into the night, upset, and drown herself in that boat.

His cottage was empty and dark inside. She must have blown all the candles out. Any hope for their love was extinguished as well.

“Sadie,” he called out as he turned on the light.

The sheets lay in a jumbled heap on the bed, but they were free of blood. How could he have seen something that wasn’t there? But when he turned toward the kitchen area, he gasped. A large, red stain marred the wall and shards of broken glass lay on the floor. She must have thrown the wine bottle.

So she had bled, too, in her own way. His gut twisted as he dragged a finger through the red stain. Why couldn’t he stay away from women? All he did was hurt and destroy them.

After turning off the light and rushing outside, he checked the dock where Sadie usually kept her boat. As he expected, it was gone. Thank goodness the seas were calm tonight.

Please, let her be safe. Don’t lay another death on my conscience.

The cool air dried his sweat, making him shiver. He wandered in the dark until he found himself near the main harbor. The cheerful sight of the local restaurant, the Sapphire Crab, drew him. Its red and blue lights reflected against the water and the doors got a workout as patrons came and went.

He walked inside and headed to the telephone. His hands shook so badly, he dropped the receiver several times. When his brother answered, his knees buckled with relief.

“Caleb, I’m at the Sapphire Crab and I really need to talk to you.”

“Can it wait?” Caleb yawned. “I’d rather not leave Pearl alone.”

“I’m afraid not. Rose can look after her.”

The sleepiness left his brother’s voice. “I’m not going to like this, am I?”

“Just get here as soon as you can.”

While he waited, he chose a private table in the bar and downed a couple of beers. Numb, he let the surrounding smoke and boisterous conversations wash over him.

Caleb finally arrived, shouldering his way through the crowd of drinking, smoking men. He moved with command and perfection, the same as when he’d rescued Henry from the trouble he’d gotten into at school.

He wasn’t sure anyone could rescue him from this mess. Even Caleb.

As his brother took the seat across from him, Henry ordered him a Scotch.

“Scotch? You know I only drink that when I’m upset. This must be pretty bad.”

They discussed the oyster reseeding while they waited for Caleb’s drink.

“Since we’re talking shop, what was your profit last month?” Caleb asked.

When Henry told him, Caleb whistled. “I’m impressed. What did you do to achieve it?”

“Oh, a bit of this and a bit of that.” Henry squirmed in his chair. “The reseeding should start soon. If we’re lucky, some of the oysters will be big enough to harvest by the end of next winter.”

“Makes sense.” When his Scotch arrived, Caleb grabbed it and sipped it. “I know you didn’t drag me down here to discuss oyster beds.”

Henry shredded his napkin. “I hardly know where to begin.”

“Try the beginning.”

“It’s about Sadie,” Henry said, staring at his hands.

“Did you get caught messing around with her?”

“No, but why would you assume—”

“I noticed the way you stared at her after our fishing trip.” His brother winked at him. “How did your date with her go, by the way?”

Henry sipped his beer. Caleb was a lot more perceptive than he expected. It might make telling him the bad news easier.

“Not well at all.”

“Maybe you should go easy on the beer. You look kind of peaked.”

“It was a dime-store horror novel.” He squeezed his fingers together. “Instead of Sadie, I saw Natalie lying there. Bloody.”

“Good Lord. I bet that killed the moment.”

Henry recalled his deflating cock, unsure if it would ever get hard again. “Oh, yes.”

“Did you explain Natalie to Sadie?”

Feeling like the stupid child who’d gotten into trouble in school, Henry shook his head.
Didn’t you do your homework? Did you knock the ball through the window on purpose?

“I-I ran out before we— When I returned, she was gone.”

Caleb snickered.

“This isn’t funny.”

“Sorry. You can still salvage the situation, though.” Caleb studied his glass. “Apologize to her and explain everything.”

“I doubt she’ll ever forgive me.”

“Then maybe things happened for the best.” The humor faded from his brother’s eyes. “Even if you got along with each other, you’d still have the rest of the world standing in your way.”

“That’s true.”

“But if she’s worth it, you’ll have to fight for her.” Caleb glanced at his watch. “If that’s all, I’d like to get going.”

Henry gripped his wrist. “There’s more. Sadie is…sort of…running Rockfield’s.”

The other man’s face paled to pure white. “The hell you say.”

“When those oyster pirates arrived in the area, I had to get out on the water.” Henry toyed with the shredded bits of napkin. “She’s a hell of a lot smarter than I am. She knows numbers and she’s got a knack for business.”

Caleb blinked. His pale-blue eyes looked too shocked to be angry. That would come later.

“She negotiated lower prices with the buy-boats.”

“That’s admirable, but—” Caleb slammed his glass down. “Damn it, Henry. Are you out of your head?”

“You asked me to run the plant. You didn’t say how.”

“But she’s a colored woman!”

“Lower your voice, Caleb.” Henry glanced around, but everyone else seemed too drunk to notice them. “And how would Pearl feel if she heard you now?”

“I don’t doubt Sadie’s capabilities, but if the Klan finds out, they’ll crucify both of us.” Caleb took a giant swig of Scotch. “And you just broke her heart, didn’t you?”

Unable to look at those pale, accusing eyes, Henry covered his face with his palms and nodded.

“Well, you have to fix it. Apologize. Woo her. And for God’s sake, slip the reins out of her hands before she takes revenge and destroys the plant.”

Henry held his hands out. “You’re asking the impossible.”

“Little brother, I am tired of cleaning up your messes.” Caleb drained the rest of his Scotch and stood. “I’ll soon have a child to deal with, so you need to grow up and handle this yourself.”

After Caleb left, he stared at the shredded napkin, feeling like the biggest failure in Oyster Island. He and Sadie should be in bed now, kissing each other and whispering endearments by candlelight.

Caleb was right. He needed to fix this. Even though he’d probably fail again, he had to try.

* * *

Sadie felt even more nauseous than usual when she rowed to the Baptist church at the Crab Creek inlet the next day. She’d come because Mama insisted, but she had no desire to listen to Reverend Palmer today.

Last night had replayed in her mind as soon as she’d woken up this morning. Surrendering her body, like a ham on a platter, had been foolish. She would hate Henry Rockfield for the rest of her life. No man had ever hurt her so much, and none would get the chance again. She’d learned from her error.

She tied up the boat and helped Mama out. Joining the others in the community, they headed toward the open doors of the small, white church with black shutters. Colorful jonquils and hyacinths linked the brick pathway, announcing spring. She felt like ripping them out of the ground or trampling them with her heels.

The only thing giving her strength to draw each breath and take each step was revenge. Henry valued Rockfield’s the most, so that was exactly what she planned to destroy. Oyster by oyster.

Mama elbowed her. “Wipe that scowl off your face, girl. You look meaner than the devil himself this morning.”

Last night’s conversation with her mother was even stranger than what had happened in Henry’s cottage. No matter what, she needed to take care of her. Unfortunately, the best way to do that was to keep her
secretary
job at Rockfield’s. Assuming he didn’t fire her. By playing with numbers, she could strangle the company into a slow, painful death instead of destroying it all at once. The plan would give her time to find new jobs for herself and Mama.