Safari Moon (17 page)

“Nyssa.” He stepped forward. “It’s not too
late to call the wedding off. I don’t want to sacrifice your
integrity. At one time I thought this would all work out but the
Colonel has bullied everyone.”

“I never said I wanted to stop the
wedding.”

“You didn’t have to. I can tell by the pain
and reluctance in your eyes.”

“Solo.” Nyssa was beside him now, her hand
on his arm. She felt the slight tremor, knew she hurt him. “I love
Sarah. I’d do anything for her.”

His lips quivered slightly, a smile never
quite forming. “But not for me.”

Nyssa didn’t know how to answer. Indirectly,
he was the single most important reason she agreed to his plan, but
she couldn’t tell him the truth.

***

Solo thought he’d come to terms with all the
deceit, but he hadn’t. He couldn’t stand the vulnerable, lost look
that crept into Nyssa’s eyes every time the mention of marriage to
him entered the conversation.

Once he started down this course he had
thought it would work out, and he had never expected her to detest
and abhor the idea of marriage to him. That had been the least of
his concerns when the lies began.

Everything was crazy at the cabin, and he’d
believed if he wandered down to the air strip to wait for his two
friends, the exercise would give him a little peace. But the walk
didn’t help.

Perhaps once this was over and everyone flew
home, perhaps then he’d find a little quiet time--with Nyssa, a few
minutes to reach a compromise and perhaps understand. Once he could
get her alone they could sort out the strange physical reaction
that had blossomed the last few days between them.

Yet he didn’t think there was much chance
the way she acted now. For the past few hours, she’d barely said
one word to him. The few times they spoke he held his breath and
wondered if she would call off the wedding.

Nyssa sent him mixed vibes. He’d known her
for ten years and he’d always desired her and wanted her. But she'd
always made it clear he was just a friend.

All she had to do was look at him, and his
body went into overdrive, hormones flooding his system. He felt
like a teenager.

The last two encounters he had with her made
him rethink the sexual affinity between them--his lust--the honeyed
temptation. He had every reason to believe she might let him do
whatever he wanted with her, yet he was above all else a gentleman.
He would not make love to her. For God sakes, she was engaged to
another man and she meant to marry that man, not him.

Despite the powerful feelings he had for
her, he respected her. She was sweet and innocent and if he was
right, untouched. Her principles had always been above reproach,
still were, which explained why she had so much trouble with the
wedding.

Yet his Nyssa had changed over the last two
years. He had never expected her to give up her career in New York
and resettle in Bend, Oregon. Oh, she’d always enjoyed sports, long
rides on her bicycle too, but a bike shop? Tours?

Before she left the city for the country,
she must have been close to making her first million. Of course she
never talked about her job--about what exactly triggered the move.
He’d heard rumors but there was always gossip.

When she’d first come back, she didn’t tell
him why and he didn’t push her. He’d hoped when the time was right,
she’d talk.

That was why Robert was such a puzzle to
him. Robert represented every ideal she’d previously held, and the
way of life she’d left behind. Perhaps she couldn’t give it all up.
Perhaps that was why she wanted to marry Robert.

Solo was nobody’s fool and he cared too much
about Nyssa to hurt her dreams or her future. He knew he didn’t
have anything to offer that Nyssa wanted. Nyssa wanted Robert and
if she slept with him, Solo St. John, the act would cancel her
dream.

So he exerted all his willpower to hold
back, to stay far, far away from her. But what would he do after
they married? When they were alone in the cabin and he had every
legal right to make love to his wife.

He could kick himself for the foolhardy
belief he could control his physical desire for his pal Nyssa
Harrington. God, but he’d thought she would throw up her hands in
horror. It would be a miracle if he could carry out this fiasco
without a hitch.

He was a fool. He felt manipulated and he
didn’t understand why. After all it was his idea. When he watched
his grandmother, saw the twinkle in her eyes as she spoke of the
wedding, he remembered why he suggested, no, begged Nyssa to
pretend.

His grandmother improved everyday. Her face
had more color and she didn’t look quite so fragile anymore. He
knew his grandmother wanted a grandchild--now that was a challenge.
How was he going to give her a grandchild when he didn’t mean to
sleep with his bride?

A clod of dirt in front of him felt the
brunt of his anger and frustration, exploding into a thousand
pieces when he kicked it. The violence didn’t make him feel any
better and it didn’t solve any of the problems that confronted
him.

Weak with desire, he lusted after Nyssa and
even though only a few minutes ago he’d listed most of the reasons
why he couldn’t touch her, he still wanted her.

***

“Love has a way of making even the most sane
person crazy,” Nyssa mumbled. She sat in the main room of the
cabin, perched on the window seat, and drank champagne with the
girls while Solo, his two buddies from their college study group
and the Colonel were outside drinking beer.

Michael and David had always teased her. In
fact, they were the first to dub her the ice maiden, but it had
always been when they thought she couldn’t hear. His buddies had
always known too, that she’d been crazy about Solo from the moment
she first saw him. They were a good natured sort and they never
meant any harm but sometimes they carried their jokes past
humorous.

For a bachelor party in the far reaches of
Alaska, the scene was wild, the noise unbelievable and it wouldn’t
surprise her if the Colonel flew in a stripper too. Yet so far
nothing like that had materialized.

“One kiss from the right man can make your
toes curl,” Sarah said with a huge grin. “And whatever is good for
the men has got to be twice as good for the ladies.”

The gleam in Sarah’s eyes had not
diminished, not one iota. No, Sarah wouldn’t arrange a male dancer
to go along with the loud obnoxious music. Sarah wouldn’t but April
or Candace might.

“Amen,” April said as she refilled Nyssa
glass.

“If I drink enough of this,
will I be numb in the morning?” Nyssa pinched herself. Numb
already.
Why don’t I feel
better?

“Open another gift.” Candace handed her a
box, her fingernails tapping the paper on top. “You know you won’t
need any of these lacy numbers for a few months.”

“I certainly hope not.”

“I think you misunderstood.”

Sarah picked up the torn paper and the bows
while she hummed a tune, the wedding march. All around the room,
Sarah waltzed with an imaginary partner and never missed a beat.
Sarah looked vibrant, not sick at all.

Sarah was joyous. There was no other word to
describe the wide grin and the twinkle in her eyes. Candace, on the
other hand, appeared thoughtful. She was the thinker in the group.
In fact, over champagne and caviar one night a year ago, Candace
had dropped the bombshell.

She was leaving New York.

Her job as a high powered lawyer left a
bitter taste in her mouth. There were too many clients with little
or no money her firm stepped on. As an idealist this didn’t suit
her at all. When she told the two of them she didn’t know where she
would go or what she planned to do, she spoke the truth. Candace
only knew she wanted out.

Candace’s announcement set the fuse. One
idea led to another and although a year passed before they’d all
handed in their resignation, not one of them had any regrets.

It was strange how different they were, and
yet they’d become fast friends. Always would be.

April was flamboyant, fun--always loved a
great joke. When April stepped in, there was sure to be more than a
few laughs.

In this group, Nyssa was the serious one,
measured against Candace’s quick wit and April’s good humor. They
complimented each other. While on tour they had unique abilities to
offer the clients.

And there was her brother. Explosive was the
only way she could describe him. His drive and ambition kept the
business in the black when it wavered in the early stages. There
were times they would have given up their dreams--except for
Jon.

“You’re terribly quiet, Harrington.” April
held the lacy white camisole Sarah had given her to wear under the
wedding dress. “Not brave enough for this?” she said, her leer
suggestive as she waved the white lacy undergarment.

“Harrington, nervous? I don’t believe my
ears. The ice maiden defies all odds,” Candace went on with a
laugh. She sipped her champagne, a cocky little grin on her face.
“Two minutes until closing time, Nyssa rushes through the chaos of
Wall Street and outwits all the competitors. We all heard the
story. My boss was one of your best clients, relied on you to buy
and sell the stocks with perfect timing and you did. Never missed a
call. You had an unbelievable record.”

“There were others out there better than I
was,” Nyssa scoffed. “I had the jitters at the end of every work
day. I’d go home with my hands shaking and my knees weak. Some of
my colleagues liked the nervous tension.”

“But you didn’t?” Sarah’s words sounded very
sober.

“No.”

“Hey we’ve got better things to talk about,
don’t we? Like the wedding night. Since your mother’s not here, the
bridesmaids get to prepare the bride. Tell her what will
happen--what her groom will do,” Candace said.

“Oh, I think she must have a pretty good
idea. They’ve been at this cabin--how long?” April ginned from
ear-to-ear.

Nyssa clenched her fists, the silver bow she
held quite mutilated before she let the decoration fall to the
ground. The chatter went on around her regardless of the fact she
felt no amusement in the conversation.

“I need fresh air,” she said. A few seconds
later she strode outside, the air crisp and clean. She stepped off
the back porch and wandered around the cabin.

Tomorrow--her wedding day. Why did she feel
as if she were waiting for her execution? Only a few slow,
torturous hours were left to her. She played with the engagement
ring on her left hand. A wedding ring would join it soon, a symbol
of deep love, of sincerity. Vows made should not be put aside.

They both took the marriage too lightly,
making a mockery of a holy sacrament even though the cause was
justified. It was the right thing to do. So why did it feel so
wrong?

The answer came back to her with a quick and
thorough jolt to her senses. Because Solo didn’t love her, never
would and when she said ‘I do’ tomorrow, she would die a little
inside.

The men’s voices, a gruff hum in the middle
of the night, pulled her. She didn’t mean to eavesdrop but somehow
she found herself next to the porch in the deep shadows, and she
found she had to listen to their easy conversation and male
banter.

David, Michael, and Solo had been friends a
longtime. David brought Solo into their study group. For Solo’s own
good, he’d told them. But once they got to know Solo, they all knew
his presence was for their own good, not Solo’s. Solo didn’t need a
study group. They needed him.

Somehow over the years, she’d fit into the
group. A pal. That’s how they thought of her, good old Nyssa.
Everybody’s pal.

Michael teased Solo in a valiant effort to
get him to talk about their whirlwind romance. Because that’s what
the courtship was. All of a sudden, out of the blue, Nyssa and Solo
would tie the knot and the idea shocked everyone.

“I liked Nyssa,” Michael said. “But she
never noticed anyone but you, Solo. When she looked at you, she
heated up. You told us she was like a kid sister but we knew
better.”

Kid sister? Was that how he thought of
her?

“In those days she didn’t like me much.
Thought I played too hard and studied too little.”

“Well, she probably resented those easy A’s
you got. We all begrudged the A’s from time to time. I remember
when I stayed up all night with Nyssa so we could cram for a
computer tech exam. Thought I did great when I ended up with an
eighty-five, Nyssa was overjoyed with an eighty-nine. But when we
saw your grade, ninety-two, and we both knew you didn’t study, she
was ready to cram the book down your throat.”

“You know I read the material.”

“We both knew, understood you went to all
the lectures too.”

“What you didn’t know was I studied every
night because I realized I wouldn’t have time to cram. There was a
basketball game I had to photograph.”

“Come on, Michael, can’t you think of
something else to do except give him a hard time. It isn’t like
this marriage is for real or anything. Let’s save the good stuff
for when he’s in love and it’s not a bogus wedding.”