SAFE (12 page)

“Who
would
do
this?” I was mortified.

James
didn’t say a word, his eyes not glancing away from the pit—dead children,
families.

“What
happened? Did they die of an illness?” I tried to convince myself of a
reasonable explanation. Would I be amongst them if James hadn’t helped me
escape that night? My body involuntarily hunched over, puking, this time off to
the side on the ground, not wanting to add any more disgrace to the remains—to
the people.

“You
keep telling yourself that, Penny!” Lucan became angry. He stood and turned on
his heels, facing us, blood boiling through his pink cheeks. “Y’all are the
reason for all of this! You live up there in your nice little houses, pretending
like you’re better than everyone. Don’t tell me you didn’t know this was happening!
Especially you, James. You worked in the Academy! Don’t lie to me!” In an instant,
Lucan soared past me and tackled James, punching him repeatedly in the face.
James shoved him off, but didn’t fight back. Lucan ran and tackled him again
and James shoved him off.

“Stop
it!” I screamed. “Just stop it! Of course he didn’t know. Do you really think
if either of us, or anyone else for that matter, knew about this, we would’ve
let it happen? What kind of people do you think we are?”

Lucan’s
face scorched with more anger and his clenched fists lowered to his side,
shaking.

“Tell
him, James. You didn’t know about this either.” I was trying to calm the
situation.

But
James didn’t answer.

“James,
tell him!”

“You
see, Penny. Your James isn’t such an innocent guy, is he?” Lucan didn’t take
his eyes off him. “Tell me what you know!” he demanded.

“James.”
My voice was calm and collected. “No, you didn’t know. Did you?”

The
words left my mouth, as I moved closer.  

“James,
look at me,” I said.

He
wouldn’t.

“Look—at—
me
!”

Finally,
his head turned down towards me, though his body remained stiff.

“Who
did this?” I asked. “You need to tell me.” I suddenly realized I didn’t know
the guy in front of me at all. How much of him was a lie?

His
head turned back up, higher than me. “I don’t know,” James said.

“He’s
lying!” Lucan accused.

Finally,
James broke his superior stance. “No, I’m telling the truth. I don’t know—this
goes well above my clearance. I never knew this was happening, or was going to
happen. I swear.” James’ voice was barely audible now.

“What
do you mean, going to happen? What do you know?” I asked.

“Look
Penny, I promise. I didn’t know,” he said again, ignoring my question.

“Tell
me what you did.” I reached up, grabbed his chin, and turned his face towards
mine, forcing him to look me directly in the eyes. “
Now
!” I screamed.

He
shook out of my grasp. “Look, two years ago when we met, that was no accident.
I was put on an assignment by Falcon. He simply asked me to get to know you
better, become your friend.”

“What?”
I took a few steps back. “But why?”

James
continued, “At first I didn’t know. All I knew was that he wanted us to become
close, good friends. I had no idea that I was going to fall in love with you, I
swear.”

“Why
did he want you and I to become… close?” Now I was even more confused and angry.
“I’m nobody special.”

“But
your father is,” he replied.

“
What
?”
It all became clear. “You’re the one that turned my father in?”

“I
didn’t know I was doing anything wrong! Falcon asked me to keep an eye on him,
let him know who he talked to and where he went. For two years, nothing came of
it. I didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. But then the other day I
happened to follow him. I saw him meet up with a woman and her newborn. He
handed her some pills, vitamins he called them. It was useless information. I
promise if I knew telling Falcon would lead to this,” he motioned to the grave,
“I never would’ve done it. It was a mistake.”

I
grabbed his arm. He allowed me to force him towards the uncovered hole of
bodies. “Does it look harmless now?” I yelled. “Is one of them who you saw my
father talking to?”

He
nodded and a tear rolled down his cheek as he pointed to a young mom and her
baby.

“And
what about me, what about my family? Did you ever think of what would happen to
us?” I said.

“I
didn’t know. I had no idea your father was in the middle of… this. I didn’t know.
I promise. I was only supposed to gather information, that’s all.”

“Did
you tell Falcon about the vials my father took as well?” My emotions became
unstable and I slapped him across the face. “Was all of this, you and me, just
a game? Don’t answer that!” I didn’t want to focus on me with much larger
issues around.

“What
vials? I have no idea what you’re talking about. I didn’t follow him
twenty-four seven, only when time allowed in between training and well… you.”

“And
I’m supposed to believe you now? After everything you just told me?” Every word
leaving his mouth was a stab to my heart.

“Guys,”
Lucan said.

“I
can’t believe I ever loved you!”

“Guys,”
Lucan repeated.

“I’m
sorry, Penny. I really am sorry,” James replied.

“G-u-y-s.”

“
What
?”
James and I yelled back in unison.

“As
much as I want you to continue your little conversation,” his fists shook more
as he looked at James, “we are standing in the exact spot where these bodies were
buried. Which begs the question—are there any guards still in the area?”

Immediately,
James and I scanned the open field. There were no visible signs of anyone else.
And between the birds screeching squawks and the sound of rushing water,
neither James nor Lucan heard anyone nearby. But that didn’t put our minds at
ease. Nothing would settle our thoughts after what we had seen.

“We
need to run, keep going north as far as possible. And then if we don’t come
across anyone, we’ll make camp tonight,” James said.

“I’m
the first one wanting not to agree with him, but he’s right. We need to go,” Lucan
said.

I
grabbed my sack, which had fallen off my back, and Lucan threw his duffel bag
over his shoulder.

“Lucan,
I’m only going to slow us down. Would you mind?” I asked.

“Of
course not,” he replied. “Here, carry this for me.” He hurled his duffel bag at
James, letting go of some anger for the both of us, and then I climbed onto his
back.

“Wait,”
I said, looking for the dog. “Where is she?” Then I spotted her laying down at
the edge of the hole, not moving. I hopped off Lucan’s back carefully and
walked over to her. She was staring at the bodies. I wasn’t sure if she could
even see which one was Jace, but somehow she knew he was among them. I bent
down and stroked the back of her head gently. “I’m sorry, girl. But he’s gone.
I know he loved you too.” I knew she couldn’t understand what I was saying, but
her head turned towards me. “Let’s go,” I said, running my fingers through her damp
fur one last time before turning around.

I
climbed on Lucan’s back again and we began running out of the clearing, across
to the opposite side from where we had entered, the dog following behind.

I
no longer saw James behind me, but he was there.

We ran for hours. Hours. It was all we were doing
since this whole thing started and I was tired of it. Done.

“Put
me down!” I screamed.

Lucan
stopped. I jumped to the ground and threw my hands in the air. “I can’t do this
anymore.”

“What
do you mean?” Lucan asked. “You can’t go back now. You saw what they did to
those people. You don’t have vines either; they’ll do the same to you.”

“I
know—that’s not what I mean. I’m done running, for now. I just need to stop. We
haven’t seen any guards since we crossed the perimeter. Do you hear anyone now?”

Lucan
closed his eyes and dropped his head, concentrating.

“No,”
he said.

“And
what about you, James?” I asked, though his input wasn’t really wanted.

“I
don’t hear anyone either,” he said.

“Then
let’s stop. Besides, I have to eat something—my stomach is killing me,” I said.
As hungry as I was, food was the last thing on my mind. Eating was furthest
from what I wanted. But the lack of nutrition cramped my stomach and I hadn’t
drank much either. If I wanted to stay strong, I had to take care of myself.

“If
we’re stopping, then let’s at least find a better spot. We’re on a hill,” Lucan
said.

I
didn’t notice the terrain we were standing on—a giant, grassy, unstable incline.
Lucan placed his feet sideways and took small steps in between sliding. I followed
his technique for the short distance until we climbed down the hill and stopped
as soon as the ground began leveling out. Unfortunately, there weren’t any
streams nearby and my ankle could’ve really used the relief. Instead, I propped
my left leg up on a log and leaned back, warming near the fire Lucan and James made—James
trying to be helpful now. My ankle didn’t appear swollen, but the pain from
jiggling up and down while Lucan ran had jumpstarted the throbbing sensations now
shooting up my calf. If I positioned my ankle and aligned it with my knee just
right, the pain lessened. I reached over into my pack, shared the rest of my
cranberries with the dog, and opened up a small package of dried, roasted nuts.

Neither
Lucan nor I offered anything to James. I felt bad, but only a little. He
deserved the treatment.

James
sat against a tree out of the cleared circle and closed his eyes with his arms
folded across his chest.

Lucan
was quiet too, his mind in a different place, joking demeanor from before
completely gone. The Lucan I knew this morning was drastically different than
the one sitting beside me right now. He pulled chunks of roasted rabbit off with
his teeth and sat with his legs crossed as he stared at the fire. His eyes gazed
straight through the flames, his mind elsewhere.

“Lucan,
do you think that was the first time something like that happened? I mean the
bodies. Why choose to kill them now after all this time? Why not just give them
the choice to leave for the other Land?” I asked.

 Lucan
ripped off another piece of meat and the flames of the fire danced, reflecting
off his eyes. “How do you even know there
is
another Land?” he replied.

“Of
course there is, my sister lives on it,” I said.

“If
there was another Land, then why the mass grave?” he asked in return. “People
that chose execution have always been buried inland. Why would there be a need
to hide a massive slaughtering like the one back there?”

I
pondered the question for a few seconds, placing a handful of nuts in my mouth.
“I don’t know. Maybe they died of the sickness?”

“We’ve
been over this. There is no sickness. They were as healthy as you are right
now. And you look fine to me,” he said.

“But
if you’re right and there is no other Land, then where did all the other
families go from before?”

“Penny,
stop being so naïve. They’re dead too. Why would your sweet President Falcon
keep them alive?” The questions between us led me down a path I wasn’t sure I
wanted to take. “Think about it. Did you ever actually see them leave alive on
a boat sailing away to the other Land?”

“No,
but someone did. You can’t just kill a bunch of people without anyone
noticing,” I said.

“Who
knows what Falcon is capable of? None of you has ever questioned his authority.
He’s a great speaker and everyone blindly puts their trust in him. You know I’m
right.”

“But
then what does that mean about my sister?” I dug around for the picture in my
backpack and handed it to him.

Lucan
studied the picture with the light of the fire. “She’s beautiful. Y’all could
be twins. Maybe this is a fake? I’m sure they could’ve enhanced a photo of you,
making it look like your so-called sister
.
”

“No,”
I said, half believing the word that left my mouth. I snatched the photo from Lucan’s
hands and studied the girl. “This isn’t me. I’m sure of it.”

“Well,
let’s say you’re right. And some mysterious island exists with your sister on
it. Then what?” Lucan was only mocking me now.

“I’m
going to find her, that’s what. Why are you being so mean?” Since we met, Lucan
had never assumed such a pessimistic demeanor, like he had lost all hope.
“What’s wrong with you?” I put the picture carefully back into my pack, not
wanting to ruin the only image I had of Madeline.

“Nothing,”
Lucan shot back. “I’m fine.”

“No,
you’re not. I know we’ve had a long day and you saw people dead that you
obviously were closer to than I thought. But it’s hard on all of us.” I nicely
included James as I said the word
all
.

Lucan
rolled the meat back up in his bag and placed it in his duffel. “It’s not
that,” he said.

“Then
what?”

“It’s
Jessica.”

“Who’s
Jessica?”

He
bit on his lower lip and swallowed more water. “She was my girlfriend —” He
sniffled and wiped his nose with the edge of his hand.

“Do
you want to go back to her? If that’s the case, you don’t need to stay. I’d
understand. You’ve helped us out more than enough.”

“No,”
he interrupted. “She’s the reason I joined you in the first place. Four years
ago, her parents were surprised when they unexpectedly became pregnant with her
little brother. They didn’t think they could have anymore kids, so when they
found out the news, you can imagine how excited they were. But when her brother
was born, he didn’t have any vines. The others in the village told them about
your father and what he could give them. But they refused. They didn’t want any
help from anyone that lived in the Colony—they didn’t trust him. So they tried
to hide the birth of their son, but it didn’t matter. Eventually there was
nothing they could do and Falcon sent guards to give them the option of
execution or leaving. So they chose to leave and according to the law, that
meant Jessica had to go with them. The following day they were gone, and I was
told they were living on the
other
Land.”

Now
I understood. “And you were planning to find her?”

He
nodded his head.

“So
now you think she’s dead.”

“I
know she is,” Lucan said, looking at me. “It’s the only real answer—it all
makes sense now. Why would a President who could kill innocent, healthy
children leave other ones alive?”

“Lucan…”
I didn’t know what to say. I knew what he was telling me made complete sense.
“But what if you’re wrong, what if she is
alive?”

“Even
if she is alive, after seeing what I saw and knowing what President Falcon is
truly capable of, I can’t just leave my mom and friends back in the perimeter
without letting them know the truth.”

“When
do you plan on leaving?” I asked.

“Soon
but not yet. I want to make sure you can trust him first.” He pointed to James,
listening to our conversation.

At
this point, I wasn’t sure if I could trust James either, but I knew he wasn’t capable
of physically hurting me. He could’ve done that a long time ago if that was his
plan.

“Well,
it would make me feel better to stay a while,” Lucan said.

That night I had a hard time sleeping with the
howling of wolves in the near distance, and an owl hooting in the branch above
me. I shoved my hands over my ears, trying to mute it all out. Eventually, after
much tossing and turning, I fell asleep, only to wake up a few hours later.

I
stretched my legs and ran my fingers through the dog’s fur. James sat against
the same tree, eyes wide open. Lucan was already awake, eating more rabbit.

A
gust of energy ran through my body, and I knew trying to fall back to sleep would
be pointless. “Do you think you could teach me to fight?” I asked Lucan.

“How
do you mean… like shooting a gun, throwing a knife type of stuff? Sure,” he replied,
shrugging his shoulders.

“No,
not that. I mean hand to hand.” I felt more defenseless now after everything
we’d been through and I didn’t know what to expect once we arrived on the other
Land. I wanted to be capable of protecting myself. Plus, I wasn’t the least bit
tired. Every time a minute passed, pictures from the grave crept into my
thoughts.

“I’d
love to, Penny. But I’m really not great in that area.”

“Of
course you are. I saw you back there with Rexx,” I said.

“No,
what you saw was me with a knife in my hand. I’m great with weapons. In fact,
I’m freaking amazing, though not the kinda thing you’re talking about. Ya, I’d
be able to teach you a few moves, but nothing substantial. Believe it or not, I
was the nice guy growing up, never got into a single fight, charming my way out
of every situation.” A glimpse of the old Lucan spread across his crooked
smile.

“Oh.”
I was disappointed, though not shocked by his reference to charming his way out
of situations. “That’s alright; I just thought I’d ask.”

“I
could teach you,” a voice murmured from behind me. James.

“No
thanks,” I replied sharply.

“Look
if you want to learn, then let me teach you. I won’t hurt you,” he said.

I
wasn’t worried about that. I just didn’t want his help.

“Do
you want to learn or not?” He sounded annoyed, only causing me to want his help
that much less. Though as much as I didn’t want to be near him or even talk to
him, I needed to learn. And this was about finding my sister.

“Fine,”
I replied.

James
stood up and walked over to a large open area to the left of where Lucan was
sitting. “We need a little bit more space.” He gestured for me to stand next to
him.

I
was hesitant and took small steps towards him, prolonging the situation as much
as possible—buying time before I had no choice but to be close to him again.

The
moon was our only light, along with the flickering fire casting tall shadows
from the trees.

“Are
you ready?” He faced directly in front of me, close enough to touch.

“Sure.”
I wondered what I was supposed to be ready for.

Suddenly,
he tapped my cheek with his right hand, sending a stinging pain. He wasn’t
trying to really hurt me, but nevertheless, that didn’t make me happy either.

“Are
you ready?” he asked again.

“Yes,”
I said.

“Stand
like I am.”

I
observed his wide stance, right foot in front of the other.

“Standing
like this will help you keep your balance if you were attacked from the front.”

I
mimicked him exactly, just with a smaller gap in between my feet, a lot smaller
than him.

“Now
put your hands up.”

I
did.

“No,”
he said, before opening my fists. “This is important, leave your hands open.
Your knuckles aren’t conditioned like mine. If you try to use the outside of
your hand to hit, you’ll end up hurting yourself more than your attacker,
especially if you’re not as big as they are.”

I
opened my fists, palms out, legs wide, one foot in front of the other.

“Okay,”
he said. “Now I’m going to come at you slowly with one of my hands. The idea is
to block a punch. Alright?”

I
nodded and James threw a fast punch towards my face, gently, not with full
force as he could have, and I moved my lower arm, blocking his punch.

“Ouch!”
I said, flopping my hurt hand in the air, trying to release the pain. “What the
hell, James? I blocked it like you said.”

“Sorry,”
he winced. “Sometimes the best way to learn is by personal error.”

The
dog growled in my defense and I had a sudden urge to slap James across the face
again. But I didn’t.

I
flexed my hand and wiggled my arm, shaking the pain off, then stood back in
position. Remarkably, my ankle wasn’t throbbing anymore.

“This
time instead of blocking my punch, just thrust your hand against it, pushing me
off to the side. This way you’re not blocking my momentum. Instead, you’re just
simply moving it elsewhere.”