Safe and Sound (33 page)

 
He inhaled deeply and turned his cheek into her palm, closing his eyes.
“For what?”

 
“
For being you.”

 
Jack swallowed and moved away, eyeing the curtain
, as though the drab fabric was somehow fascinating
.

 
Lola knew it was time to change the subject.

 
“My aunt invited you and Isabelle over for supper. She’s getting pizzas,” Lola was quick to add at Jack’s look. She’d told him all about Blair’s bad luck in the kitchen.

 
“And you,” she said with a pointed look at Jared.
Well, Blair hadn’t
not
invited him.

 
Jared froze at the top of the stairs. “Me?”

 
“Yep.
We’ll see you
all
at six.
” Lola didn’t wait for an answer. Jared still hadn’t moved by the time
she got to the stairs, looking
shell
-
shocked, so she just brushed past him.

*
**

 
It was funny how a memor
y had certain feelings, smells.
Memories of her mo
m were always tinged in sadness;
even as a child when Lola hadn’
t been able to understand,
she’d still felt it.

 
The time with
Bob
in her life was clouded with darkness.
Fear, anger, hatred, helplessness.

 
But this time, with Jack, it was
beautiful
.
It was sunshine and warmth, flowers and his seductive cologne; it was intense and frightening, overwhelming.
Happiness.
Love, but so much m
ore than love.

 
She was healing, slowly but
surely, and Jack was a large par
t of the reason why.
Jack
had been away from his father for close to a week and
was healing in his own way too. He smiled and laughed more, held his shoulders a little straighter and his head a little higher.
Years had been stripped from his face with the burden of his father gone.

 
Lola lay on her bed on her side, staring at his face, taking in each detail. Even the
small scars; the
healing
bruises and cuts didn’t detract from his beauty; if anything, it added to it.
             

 
Those green eyes saw everything about Lola and still wanted her.
Those cynical lips turned up for her.

 
“Jack, can I ask you something?”

 
“Shoot.”

 
“Why did you act so strangely a while ago, like you were mad at me, like you didn’t want to see me?”

 
He sighed and flopped to his back.
“Because I was jealous and insecure.
And I thought you could do better than me. I thought you would be better with someone like Sebastian, someone who didn’t come from such a messed up family.

 
“
I also thought you didn’t need me anymore. You were safe, in a loving
home;
you had your friends back. Why would you need me?
”

 
“You were wrong,” she told him fiercely.

 
Jack turned his head
to look at her
, one half of his mouth lifting.
“Oh, really?”

 
“Really.
There is no better than you and I will
always
need you.
”

 
Jack smiled sweetly; Lola melted.

 
“What’s it like at the apartment? Are things going okay?”

 
“Yeah.
For the most part.
Isabelle loves it.
She has newfound freedom. She’s enjoying herself a little
too
much.
”

 
She
didn’t doubt it.
“What about you?”

 
“Not having my dad around is…I feel tremendous relief.
Jared comes over every night to check up on us
. I’m not used to that. But it’s kind of nice
, having someone look out for me
.
Of course, I guess he always kind of has. Do you know what he’s charging me for rent?”

 
Lola shook her head.

 
“Fifty dollars.
A
month
.
And when I told him that wasn’t nearly enough, he threatened to kick me out and fire me.
He would too.
”

 
Respect for Jared went up a notch, although it was already pretty high. That man oozed integrity.

 
“You know what I think about the most, out of everything?” He didn’t wait for her to respond. “Not
about what
my dad
did to me
, but that he could do it to someone else.
That’s
what bothers me the most.”

 
“You can report him.”

 
“No. I just want to forget, want it over with. Besides, I told him
I’d be watching him and
if I ever found out he hurt anyone else, I wouldn’t stop until he was dead.”

 
Alarmed, Lola said,
“Jack.”

 
“I wouldn’t really, Lola,” he said, smiling. “But he had to believe I meant it.
He’s a coward and a drunk and now he’s scared.
I don’t want to talk about him anymore.
I have better things to think about.
”

 
He trailed a calloused finger along her brow, down her nose, and stopped at her lips. Lola kissed his finger and he unconsciously shuddered.

 
Jack leaned over and gave her a lingering
kiss
; touching his cheek
to hers when they pulled
apart.

 
Lola was consumed by her feelings for him.
When she thought of him she smiled, when he was near she
was lighter, happier
.
Every minute of every day Lola wasn’t with him, she missed him. Sometimes, even when he was with her, she still missed him.

 
Jack felt deeply, strongly, in all aspects of his life. She couldn’t imagine him capable of being any greater than he
already
was; it wasn’t possible.

 
It could have ended up so different for him. Jack could have turned into his father; he could have been cruel and uncaring. He wasn’t.
Jack was
good
on the inside, where it counted.

 
She knew she had a lot of growing up to do, but Lola also knew she wanted Jack forever. She was convinced that would never change, no matter their age.

 
“I can’t believe your aunt allowed me up here.”

 
“Well, the door
is
open.”

 
“And she’s right down the hall.”

 
“I can’t believe she and Jared actually hit it off
and
are
going on a date
.”

 
Jack turned to his side, a knowing light in his eyes.
“Yeah, because you didn’t have anything to do with that.”

 
Lola smiled, feeling so carefree and alive she
felt like a silly giggle was going to escape her
. Luckily, she held it in. “I just got them together. The rest was up to them.”

 
“Isabelle is happy you did that. She likes your aunt a lot.”

 
“But not me.”

 
“Not true. She’s just overprotective of her big brother. I’ve always looked out for her; she’
s just doing the
same.”

 
Lola knew that and commended Isabelle greatly for it.
She had
spunk, that
was for sure.

 
“I suppose she didn’t glare at me so much
the
last time I saw her,” Lola grudgingly supplied, grinning when Jack laughed.

 
She loved his laugh. It was a beautiful sound; deep and rumbly.
His eyes twinkled and
Lola always fought not to kiss the
mirth
from his lips when it overtook him.
It was pri
celess, each laugh
a
small treasure
to behold
.

 
Lola
took a deep breath, sitting up.
There was something she had to do; something she had been putting off.

 
“What?” he asked when she continued to stare at
him.

 
“I have something for you.”

 
Jack sat up, touching her cheek. “Why do you look so terrified at the thought of giving it to me, whatever it is?”

 
Lola got down from the bed and opened the chest at the foot of it, taking her folder out. She opened it with fingers that trembled, swallowed, and pulled a sheet of paper from it.

 
Without speaking, Lola handed it to him.
Jack frowned at her, glancing down.
As he read
,
h
is fea
tures transformed into that
expressionless mask that
gave so much away.

 
She fiddled with bottles of body spray o
n the dresser top as he read, gnawing on the inside of her bottom lip.
Lola picked up the vanilla scented one and sniffed it, replacing the cap.
 

 
What if he didn’t like it?
Lola pulled the cream curtain back and looked at
the
large tree in the front
yard, studying the leaves.
What if he thought it was stupid?
Her pulse was thrumming an erratic beat in her wrists, the wait unbearable
to her nerves
.

 
Lola heard him move, felt Jack behind her.
Her stomach flip-flopped.
His hands warmed her shoulders; his breath tickled the sensitive skin under his ear.

 
“Do you know what I love about you the most?” he whispered,
causing her to shiver.

 
She wordlessly shook her head.

 
“How you manage to look past the bad and find
the
good.
Even with me. You looked past what I showed the world and
wrecked me, but in a good way,” he added when she stiffened.
     

 
“
You ruined me from turning into something I didn’t want to be.
I don’t know how to show you how much you mean to me. I love you, Lola. I want to be with you
always
; I can’t imagine not being with you.
You filled a hole in me. You gave me a purpose. My purpose is to love you. No matter what else happens, I know that.
”

 
Lola swallowed, eyes welling with tears.

 
“I love you more than anything,” he said with feeling, turning her around and showing her with his lips, with the passion of
his
kiss, what Lola meant to him.

**
*

 
Sebastian’s birthday and graduation party were on the same
day
, at the end of May.
It was double the festivities.
Lola had reservations about being there, but only because her former residence was right across the street.

 
She look
ed at her shimmering pink strapless
dress
in the mirror above her dresser
, touched her upswept
hair
.
Silver sandals glimmered on her feet.
Lola felt pretty,
feminine
.

 
Blair and she
had gone dress shopping specifically
for the occasion and treated themselves to manicures, pedicures, and haircuts and ‘dos.
Lola couldn’t remember the last time she’d done something so fun, but as always, it had been darkened by the knowledge it wasn’t her mother with her.

 
Lola spritzed herself with lemon vanilla body spray and put sparkly earrings on.
She smoothed her dress, feeling like a princess, or like she was going to prom. Lola hadn’t gone
this past year
; had had no reason to.
She’d actually forgotten about it, its importance fading with her life in turmoil as it had been.