SailtotheMoon (6 page)

She should ignore it. He’d treated her badly, and she didn’t
take that shit from anyone. But he’d apologized fully and completely. So did
abusers, she knew that too, and he’d behaved like one, showering her with
attention one moment, treating her like dirt the next. In her line of work she
came across that behavior far too often.

He was asking for her trust now. If she spurned him, he’d
look foolish, and Jimmy would probably crow with laughter and tell her she did
right. If she took it, she might be letting herself in for who knew how much
doormattery. But how did she know? Had years of dealing with the worst behavior
in society turned her cynical, made her expect the worst? Because he could have
behaved badly that once, and his apology could be sincere.

If she didn’t act, she’d never find out. In a moment fueled
by her heart rather than her head, Laura took his proffered hand and, prepared
for the impact of his touch, didn’t either flinch or cling. “After one night?”
She did her best to give a cynical smile but she suspected she’d put too much
warmth into it.

“Why not?” He tugged her hand, impelling her to sit next to
him. Closer this time, but he put his arm over the back of the sofa again, not
around her shoulders, so she supposed that had to be a good thing.

Except that somehow she was pressed against his chest, and
somehow she was waking from the sleep she’d promised herself she’d take later
in the day.

Kelsie was sitting close to Riku on the floor, imitating his
cross-legged pose. Like the others, she was listening to Jimmy talk. But the
moment she opened her eyes Laura saw that Jimmy was getting tired, and when he
got tired he got cranky.

Like a cue in a play, the doorbell rang.

The nurse managed to do what Laura had failed to do. She got
all four of them out of the flat by promising Jimmy the treat of a sponge bath.
That was something Jimmy thoroughly enjoyed, and not because he needed to get
clean. This nurse didn’t need a chaperone, a hardened district nurse of many
years, easily able to cope with Jimmy’s flirting. Laura promised to call back
on Monday and signed off on that day’s visit, getting out the forms and marking
the time down. One day her department would get automated, give its staff
tablets or laptops to use, but she couldn’t see it coming.

Out of the flat she was prepared to go off on her own since
Riku and Zazz had gotten into an altercation about why Zazz hadn’t told Riku
about his father before, something she wasn’t listening to. Her head still spun
with her unexpected nap, she decided to go. They wouldn’t miss her. All that
girlfriend stuff was just for show.

Faster than a striking snake, Zazz reached out and grabbed
her hand, hauling her to his side, but he still talked to Riku. “The old man is
and always will be an addict. His health’s bad. When Murder City Ravens got
big, the last thing he needed was press attention. It’d get him riled.”

“I’ve only ever known you as Zazz. Is that your baptismal
name?”

Zazz burst into laughter. “You know, that’s the best joke
I’ve heard all day. Baptismal? Sure. It’s not the name on my passport. I’m
James Asano.”

Kelsie rolled her eyes at Laura, but she didn’t see any
reason for Kelsie’s exasperation. “We can’t argue in the street.”

People were walking by. Although Riku had pulled on his cap,
he couldn’t disguise the fact that he wore blusher and eyeliner, or that he
wore clothes that were obviously expensive. In this district, that was like
shouting, “Look at me!” Zazz’s jeans, T-shirt and black pea coat were pretty
much classless, and his hair at least dark, but he was tall, and people were
looking.

Both men turned on Kelsie. “Who’s arguing?” Riku demanded.
“What do you say? Gobsmacked. That’s what I am. Gobsmacked.” He pronounced the
word with relish, and both he and Zazz stilled.

“No,” said Zazz.

“Oh fuck yes,” Riku answered. “You know there’s a song in
this. We need to work on it.”

Zazz glanced around. “She’s right. Not here. Get back to the
hotel. I’ll see you there in an hour.”

Riku shrugged and nodded. Thrusting his hands in his
pockets, he set off for the main road at the end of the street. After giving
Laura a conspiratorial grin, Kelsie followed him, hurrying to keep up.

“Riku’s quite something, isn’t he?” she murmured.

“You’d rather have him than me?”

Laura turned to face Zazz. “No. What did you mean by the
things you said in there? Was it to save face?”

Zazz put his hands on her shoulders, brought her closer, but
not close enough to hold in his arms. Not yet. “Last night we started
something. When I threw you out, it wasn’t you, it was the thought of my dad.
You hit a sore spot. You made me realize that I needed to get back in touch. It
would have broken him if I’d left Manchester without talking to him.” Yes, she
acknowledged silently, it would. “You got me there, in a place I’d avoided
visiting for years. He couldn’t help what he did. He’s an addict, and when I
left for London, an active one. I had to get away for my own good, but you were
right about the other shit. He’d brought me up, he’d taken me with him, shared
his life with me. Without him, I could have died or ended in care.” His voice
gained a sardonic edge. “That wouldn’t have ended well. So thanks for bringing
us back together. I mean it.”

“It was like you’d only been away for a day.” Her parents
would have closed the door on her.

“I’d take off sometimes and when I came back, he never asked
me where I’d been or who I’d been with. He waited for me to tell him, and I
always did, eventually. It was always like that. I know he has a computer
because I bought him one. Does he use it?”

“He does.”

“So when I’ve gone from here, we can carry on talking.” He
glanced back at the closed door. “I don’t have to go for a few days yet. And
after that, there’s another gap before we play New York.”

She caught her breath. He looked down at her, eyes grave.
“So will you be with me? At least until then?”

Staring at him, she saw need, pleading and a touch of sexual
arrogance in his steady gaze. “Me? Why me?”

“Because we communicated, Laura. I’m always restless,
especially after a show, and I never sleep well. But I feel content with you. I
like you, we talk. And I slept for more than a two-hour stretch.” His mouth
twisted into a sardonic smile. “Not forgetting that you’re a great fuck.”

She couldn’t help it—she burst into laughter.

* * * * *

“Fancy meeting you here.” Laura looked up from Zazz’s eReader
to find Kelsie standing over her, hands on hips.

“Fancy,” she answered, sitting straighter in the
uncomfortable plastic chair. After finding a quiet place for lunch, Zazz had
taken Laura to the arena for that afternoon’s sound check. He’d warned her he
wouldn’t have much time for her, and she could go back to the hotel if she
wanted to. “Not a chance,” she’d told him, and happily followed him in through
the stage door. She watched with fascination as the crew milled around her,
setting everything up, checking the rigging and making sure the cables that
snaked over the stage wouldn’t trip anyone. Gone were the days when the stage
was more cable than floor.

Some of the equipment was radio controlled. The rest of the
cables were channeled out of the way in plastic drainage tubes and wind-around
cable tidies. The stage set was too complex for the more haphazard techniques
of the past. Roadies had evolved into techies, each with their own
specialization, sound, light, even one to look after the guitars that were
stored in their own self-contained unit onstage. That fascinated Laura, and so
did the guitars, but she knew better than to touch them. Nevertheless, someone
saw her interest in them.

“Do you play?”

Laura spun around to confront Chick. For a big man he was
light on his feet. Come to think of it, the thick pullovers and shapeless
checked shirts he wore insinuated a figure better than the one she’d first
assumed. She wondered how much of his size was muscle. Not that she intended to
find out. “Yes, I play guitar. Acoustic, mostly.”

Chick gave her a look through narrowed eyes. “You’re with
Zazz now, right? Are you hoping he’ll give you a spot?”

“He’s not my client.” She wasn’t breaking any laws, actual
or ethical. Then she realized what he was really saying. “And I haven’t told
him I play. Or that I write songs. I might, but I’m not stupid enough to think
he’d immediately offer to get me into the business. Anyway, I’m not sure I want
to. It’s a hobby. Probably better if it stays that way.”

Chick’s lips flattened. “Bright girl. So you didn’t get with
him to—”

“No.” With difficulty, she put a rein on her temper. “Do
people do that often?”

“You wouldn’t believe how many.” And Zazz being single would
happily take them, then send them on to Chick. Great.

“Not me. If he asks, I’ll tell him. If he wants, I’ll play
for him. But that’s as far as it goes.”

“You’d get further playing for me,” Chick said. “I’ll give
you an audition, if you want.”

Immediately, she shook her head. “Like I said, it’s a hobby.
I have a job, a fulfilling career.” At least, it would be to most people. To
her it was a steady job, and the result of a deliberate decision she took at
eighteen to aim for the practical and achievable.

Chick glanced around and lowered his voice. “How is he?”

“You know him? JA?” No need to mention Jimmy’s name, where
anybody might overhear, and more than anywhere else, people here would know
about Jimmy A.

“I’ve heard his stuff. Miraculous.”

“Ah. Well, he’s been better, he’s been worse. Stable, and
happier for getting into contact. I wanted to open the avenue, that’s all, give
them the chance. He was missing his son.”

Chick nodded and touched her arm. “Thanks. Keep me updated,
will you?”

She’d tell him as much as she could, but she wasn’t about to
break client confidentiality. Chick knew Zazz’s real name, and he knew who his
father was, but other matters had to remain confidential. But she said yes, and
he moved away when someone yelled his name.

Kelsie still stood there, watching Riku play with a keyboard
on the far side of the stage. Laura wasn’t sure whether it was stage right or
stage left, but whichever, Zazz took the middle spot. He plucked a mic from its
stand, tossed it in the air, caught it in his other hand and then put it back
on the stand.

“Can we try something guitar heavy?” a disembodied voice
asked.

Zazz nodded. “
Fresh Meat?
”

The others nodded and Zazz took the acoustic guitar someone
brought over to him.

Suddenly, what had appeared chaotic formed a pattern.
Everybody took their places and the crew left the stage to the members of the
band. Laura caught her breath. Sound check maybe, but she felt so privileged.

“Which one is that?” Kelsie asked. “Did they play it last
night?”

Laura shook her head, waiting. Hunter counted them in, and
then they swung into one of the hardest, heaviest songs Murder City Ravens had
ever performed. Before he started playing his guitar, Riku set an insistent,
throbbing beat on one of the electronic instruments on his side of the stage.
After Hunter’s count, they just—started.

Like separate units, as if unaware of the other people on
the stage, they played in their own worlds. Then they linked in a single,
magical moment, and the tunes combined into one complex melody. Zazz added the
cream on top when he began to sing. Quietly at first, setting the mood, then in
the quiet-loud technique made famous by Nirvana, they hit something hard,
violent and Zazz sang over it all. Before she’d seen the band live, she hadn’t
realized what a powerful voice Zazz had, and how precisely in control of it he
was.

She loved this, and watching from the side of the stage
enthralled her. Not that they’d allow her here tonight. The arena stage was an
open one, with a narrow entrance and exit each side. There wouldn’t be room for
anyone who didn’t have to be there. So she stood where tonight, the public
would be able to see. But she wanted to see the concert again. Not that she’d
ask.

She didn’t have to. Chick came across to join them and
grinned broadly when he saw them dancing. Laura found it impossible to keep
still to this one, and her excitement filled her, right down to her feet.

Eventually, the song finished with, for a change, a major
chord. The crew applauded, although Laura doubted the band expected it. And oh
shit, the guys with the cameras shut them off. She’d forgotten that they’d
sometimes have candid footage taken, for videos and even films. “You might end
up in the movie,” Chick said. “We’re thinking of doing a movie of the tour.
Just the music, for fans and a few interviews, not one of those film-them-anywhere
things. I won’t allow that. The band needs time to unwind, when they know
strangers won’t be around.”

“Yeah.” So why did she think she’d been relegated to “stranger”
role? Because Chick had glanced at first Kelsie, then her with cold eyes. He
must have to deal with a lot of hangers-on, but Laura didn’t appreciate his
hostility right now. Unless something else had happened to provoke him.

“Fucking sound checks,” he muttered,
sotto voce
. “Extra
hassle, especially on the second night. But they won’t be satisfied until it’s
all perfect. After this, we’re running through a couple of the numbers where
the colors didn’t work. We can get here, unfold the whole fucking thing and
they still don’t like it.”

“Working with perfectionists is a bitch,” she said.

Chick shot her a conspiratorial grin, then, as if
remembering his attitude, turned his attention back to the stage and folded his
arms, cutting them out.

Kelsie shrugged and moved back. Laura decided to join her.
“This is fantastic,” she said.

“You think?” Kelsie grimaced. “I’ve been here longer than
you and it gets old. By the way, where did you get the clean clothes? I know
you haven’t been back to the flat, because I took Riku there.”