Saint And Sinners (91 page)

Home—her haven. One thing for sure, at least she had something great to come home
to. Saint had been acting
extra
friendly, despite her inability to take care of her wifely duties. She soon realized
why…that penny-colored-eyed fool wasn’t worth a damn! She seesawed between an assortment
of sentiments, pleased that he had been so forthcoming about his experience at the
museum, then angry with him at the same time—itching to curse him out to the moon
and back. The whole mess became a wrestling match within her soul.

Being the man that he was, he of course had told her about the occurrence at the art
gallery. He’d been so candid about it, not sparing any details. The whore’s name was
Zaire…and the heffa was pretty…
real
pretty, and talented, too. Xenia had a mixture of emotions as she stared at him that
morning over eggs and turkey bacon. Thankfully, the children were in their midst,
for she’d have gladly broken every damn bone in his fucking body. It wasn’t fair,
but she couldn’t help herself. Here, this gorgeous woman had approached his ass, and
he actually considered fucking this bitch… No, that wasn’t just—her mind played tricks
on her. He
didn’t
say that, but her heart heard it that way, nevertheless. Additionally, that woman
wasn’t a bitch or a whore. In fact, she was honorable, unlike some of these hoes out
here that would have said ‘fuck his marriage’ just to get their greedy little hands
on him. Saint was fine as fuck, Xenia sure knew it, and the way he carried himself
made him that much sexier.

Despite all of that, he
didn’t
do it; he didn’t give in to enticement. He said it was rather upsetting for him,
for he thought he was better than that, stronger, but one thing Saint didn’t seem
to understand, that she could see
clearly
in him as of late—he was weakening. The very reason he needed to make love to her
before dealing with his cousin in Egypt was the very
same
because when he didn’t, he’d fall apart right before her eyes. Like now. She was
his soul mate, and every time they made love, it recharged his battery.

Though the thought of the failed sexual encounter between them almost made her hurl,
she had been determined to get through it, so he could get stronger once again. But,
he’d said enough was enough, and thrown in the damn towel. This angered her to no
end, because she knew then—not only would he continue to spiritually deteriorate,
the man would be susceptible to other women. Xenia was no fool; she saw how these
motherfuckers looked at her husband! Men and women would eyeball him on a constant
basis. The women looked at the guy like he was some trophy…and he
was
, but he was hers. And the men many times mean-mugged, displeased with his presence
that would turn the heads of their girlfriends and wives. This was one of the downsides
of being married to such a handsome man. Saint wasn’t just nice to look at; he was
physically stunning and the cocky bastard knew it. Xenia could carry her own, and
her self esteem was not an issue, but Saint was
almost
pretty, and that, paired with his domineering ways and high intelligence, caused
a strange lust that simply couldn’t be squelched.

This only fueled the fire within. Since she’d been forced into celibacy, her possessiveness
in his regard grew to a destructive level. She wanted to know
what
he was doing,
when
he was doing it, and
who
he was doing it with, all… the… time. Although it didn’t make any sense and the man
was true blue, her nerves were frazzled, and she was going through some shit! He asked
her repeatedly to stop having him paged at the office when he was unable to answer
his phone, but she simply couldn’t help it. She was frightened, losing her mind! She
knew the man meant well, she knew he was struggling and trying, but Saint needed to
be able to fuck! He
required
pussy, and he needed a steady, consistent diet of it. That was all there was to it.
Eventually, if something didn’t give, she believed that, though he’d fought a good
fight, he’d succumb. It could happen several years down the line, but everyone has
their limits. He refused to admit such a thing, and he seemed adamant the ‘tree artist’
situation would not occur again. When he said it, he meant every damn word of it…but
she also knew Saint from the inside out.

When they made love, all of those years, she could
feel
his intensity, his love pouring inside of her. The man would drill within her, as
if he were trying to reach fucking China. He would pound, thrust, move his hips in
ways that proved just how limber and talented the bastard was. That big dick of his
would go full gusto within her as if he’d never had sex before a day in his life…as
if it was a new experience, each and every time. All of that let her know that for
Saint, sex was not merely a want, it truly was a
need
.

I’ve got to get to the bottom of this! I have got to find out what’s going on! But
how?

Her heart rate increased as the warm, fuzzy feelings she just felt simply dissipated,
giving way to worry, which took over for the umpteenth time that day. She was driving
herself insane, making herself sick. This was so out of character, and…it proved emotionally
exhausting.

I can’t be mad at him. He didn’t do anything wrong. He was confronted with a situation,
and he handled it. Period. My problem is, what about the next temptation, and the
one after that? How long is he supposed to endure this?! He doesn’t even get up to
go in the bathroom and jerk off anymore. I just feel the bed shaking, and then hear
him panting. At least he’s looking at me when does it though…

She smiled a bit at that. Saint had told her he wasn’t going to do it in private anymore.
He wanted her to know that she was the source of his fantasies, so…if she wouldn’t
mind, he wanted her to lie there naked, let him focus on her, preferably with her
thighs wide open, as he brought himself to climax. Xenia figured it was the least
she could do, and she even allowed him to ejaculate on her stomach or back a few times,
though she immediately had to bathe, for she became queasy at the feeling of his cum
all over her.

“Goodnight, Xenia!” one of the producers called out as she grabbed her purse, pushed
the thoughts aside and made her way to the small lunchroom to retrieve her half eaten
sandwich.

“Goodnight, Clark! See you tomorrow.” She smiled back, then made her way towards the
elevator. Inside, she came face to face with several people who no doubt were in her
same shoes… They just wanted to get home and unwind. As she exited the elevator, she
saw a ‘Slippery Wet Floor’ sign on the ground, while a drab gray uniformed custodian
made his way to and fro, swishing a bleach-smelling mop from side to side… And then,
just like that, the memory of the large Hispanic man who’d tripped and fallen into
her flooded her brain. The image of him tumbled to the forefront of her mind and she
had the urge to pause, as if she was supposed to marinate on that thought for a bit.
So, she stopped in her tracks. People whisked past her and grumbled as she impeded
their path. It was like some odd epiphany.

Saint asked me if I’d seen a tall Japanese man that day, and I hadn’t. I’m pretty
sure I would have recalled. I haven’t seen many Asian people in this building, period.
But…I did see that overweight Hispanic guy.

She shrugged, not sure if she had anything substantial, but it was worth a shot. She
wasn’t even certain why Saint had asked at the time, but it was as if he was trying
to dissect her day, the one when her entire world changed. As she made her way to
the parking garage, she sat in the driver’s seat and pulled out her phone.

“Oh, of course,” she muttered, smiling. “Of course he doesn’t pick up again… I know
I’m getting on his damn nerves with my insecure ass.” She sighed and sat back as she
waited for it to go voicemail. “I need to stop that shit. There isn’t anything cute
about it and I know damn well he does not want another woman…but I’m scared of driving
him away.”

Greetings, this is Saint Aknaten. I’m unable to answer my phone right now, but if
you leave your name, number, the best time to reach you and a brief message, I will
return your call at my earliest convenience. And remember, love is life, and life
is love.

She heard the beep after his announcement.

“Hey baby, it’s me…but you probably already know that. I think I’ve called you like,
twenty times today. I’m sorry, Saint.” She huffed and shook her head, upset with herself.
“I promise to not do that anymore… I know you’re busy, it’s just like some compulsion
though.” She sighed. “You did the right thing by telling me what happened at the art
exhibit, and now I know you might regret it, feel like you are paying for some shit
you didn’t even do, all because you told me. You know I’m not usually like this. I
hate
that I’m like this right now!” She rubbed her forehead and grimaced, then slammed
her closed fist on the steering wheel.

“Anyway, that’s not the reason I called. Remember when you asked me when this shit
first started, if I’d seen a tall Japanese man that day? Well, the answer is still
no, but I did have one incident with a Hispanic man whom I’d never seen before, or
since.

“He bumped into me, ran right into my ass.” She chuckled. “He was on the elevator,
and he tripped getting off it I believe. Then, before I knew it, I almost crashed
to the ground. He was courteous though; he grabbed my purse and handed it back to
me. Anyway, for some strange reason, I don’t know…I thought you might want to know.
I have no idea if it will help or not with whatever you may have been cooking up,
but, since it just came back to me, hell, why not tell you, right?” She laughed sadly.
“Anyway, baby, I know you said you were working late tonight, and I promise to not
blow your phone up… Give me a call when you can though. I love you, Saint. I love
you so much!” She blew a kiss into the phone, then disconnected the call.

She sighed heavily, then started up the car.

“God, you’ve given me everything I ever wanted, and then some. And I know you’re thinking,
here I am, asking for something else.” She sniffed as she cautiously backed out of
her parking space, talking aloud. “Well, God, this time, I’m not asking you to give
me something new. I’m asking that you just please restore what I already had.” She
continued to pray as she made her way out of the winding garage, floor by concrete
floor. “I was told that God loves it when husband and wife come together as one. I
have not been able to do that with my husband in a long time, Lord. It makes me feel
inept…insecure. God, it makes me feel a little useless.”

Her eyes watered as she continued to drive.

“I have a good man, a husband that I love the mess out of. He felt so bad about what
happened, he confessed it to me, and now, I’m torturing him with it. He is honorable
and has a beautiful heart. He doesn’t deserve this. God, this is not how it is supposed
to be. Please tell me this isn’t how we end?!” Now the tears fell freely. “’Cause
I love that man, God. You
gave
him to me! Why would you then turn around and let this happen to us? He
wants
to do the right thing, God, and I know every day is a struggle for him.” As she drew
closer to the exit, she saw evidence that it had rained. The street had a thin layer
of slickness, some of the storefront awnings shimmered with watery, reflective light
and drops of rain fell from the back of moving trucks. Yet right at that moment, as
she slid her I.D. card through the slot and waved at the attendant, the sun was trying
its hardest to peek out.

“Saint doesn’t have a cheating bone in his body, but let’s be real here, I’m a realistic
woman, okay, God?” She continued to have a heart to heart with her Creator, saying
it loud and clear, airing her grievances. “Even
Saint
could fall at the feet of temptation if this continues on and on and on. He has needs,
just like every other human being on this planet. And how fair is it to expect that
man to never have sex again? I couldn’t do that to him! I’d divorce him before I make
him suffer like that!” She sniffed. “But he already told me that I better not.” She
laughed a bit as she wiped her tears and entered the thick cluster of traffic.

“He told me I better not file papers on him just because my pussy is closed down for
renovations. Sorry God! I’m just quoting what he said… He’s so silly. Even in the
midst of all this, that man still makes me laugh.” She grinned a bit wider now as
she passed by tall, imposing buildings. “I’m just asking that you give both of us
some relief. Please show me what I can do to fix this? We’ve tried so many things
and nothing has worked, and he won’t make love to me despite how I insist, because
he knows my heart isn’t in it. It makes me ill. He said he doesn’t want to make love,
unless I want it as much or more than him—and not because I’m afraid he’ll cheat,
but because I desire him… And I totally understand that…I get it.” She sniffed as
she approached a red light.

“Lord, please!” She beat on her steering wheel as the tears poured like mad now. “
Please
! I’ll do
anything
! This isn’t just about sex; this is about the love a woman shows to her husband!
This is about my marriage! The marriage I dreamed of! This is about my family! Our
children need to see their parents happy, not struggling! We have to be the example
to them. God, pleeeaaaase help me!” She was falling apart at the seams, right then
and there, afraid she wasn’t being heard, that the Lord had placed her on mute, or
worse yet, ignored her call altogether, just like Saint had begun to do. Her heart
ached so badly, the pain she felt was leaving her breathless as her crying threatened
to choke her, cut off her voice.