Salvation (13 page)

Chapter Twenty

Bishop was waiting for her outside Kammy’s. She didn’t know how long he’d been there, but it was long enough that she could feel the tension vibrating off him. There wasn’t a smile when he took her arm—more gently than she’d have thought—and led her across the compound like an errant child.

She didn’t want to cause another scene, so she let him until they were halfway across the compound, and then she stopped and told him, “Don’t you ever treat me like that again.”

“You’re fucking kidding me, right? Why can’t you follow simple directions?”

“I was hungry. The guards saw me.”

“The guards are paid to watch you inside the garage. Once you’re on the outside, you’re fair game,” he told her.

“They didn’t say that—they told me they’d watch me.”

“Did any of them rush to help you?”

No, they hadn’t. But still...”I didn’t need it. I took care of myself. I always have.”

Bishop’s hands closed into fists. He turned and banged one hard on the metal wall of the tube. “Stubborn, stubborn girl. I thought things would be different.”

“Why? Because you’re all loved here, the way you are in Defiance.”

“What’s the real problem, Luna. Lay it out on the table.” He turned to stare at her, his eyes glittering.

Bishop’s temper wasn’t something she’d ever wanted to tempt—not willingly anyway. But something inside her needed to push him to the limit. In the end, that would be the only way she’d go over. And whether she knew that consciously when she started this, it didn’t matter.

“You ruined everything, damn it,” she told him.

“How did I do that, baby? Because from where I stand, you were pretty fucked up before I ever set foot in Defiance.”

“And you’re not? You pretend to have it all together, but you’re as fucked up as I am.”

“I am completely fucked up, Luna. But I do have it together—that’s entirely possible.”

“That’s why you beat the shit out of people, right?”

“That’s my job here, remember?”

“Don’t even try to lie to me, Bishop. You can do it to yourself, to anyone else, but not to me. You love the fighting. It’s the only thing stopping you from going over the edge.”

“Not the only thing,” he ground out. “I do it because Mathias saved me. Because in my culture, that means I owe him my life and my loyalty. But that’s not the only reason I do things. It’s because I want to. I know the difference between blind stupidity and loyalty,” he told her. “I’d give my life for Mathias. For this year, I did, for him and for Defiance, which you’re a part of.”

“You’re just as bad as the rest of them. Your blind loyalty to a club like that, before Caspar became president, treated women like shit. Dealt out beatings to anyone who spoke out against it.”

He grabbed her, a strong grip that was oddly gentle and indestructible at the same time. “Don’t you ever compare me to anyone. For better or worse, Luna. I’m my own goddamned man. Always was. Always will be. If that’s not something you can deal with, then walk the fuck away.”

“I can’t,” she snapped. “Remember? I’m trapped here.”

He shot back, “Say the goddamned word, Luna, and you’re out of here. Back to Defiance, anywhere you want to go that you think will make you happy.”

She swallowed hard, pride wounded, knowing the man who held her fast was the only one who made her happy.

“Trouble admitting it, Luna? Trouble saying that you want to stay here with me. Because of me.” His voice, like warm honey, making her shiver. She was wet between her legs, her heart a throb between her legs and oh God, he put the pressure of the heel of his palm on her and rubbed up and down. She gasped, could do nothing but hold fast to this shoulders and he watched her, that small smile on his face.

“You can’t...” She started, stopped when he sucked her nipple through the cotton of her T-shirt. She closed her eyes and bit back the whimper. Because they weren’t alone, and she could feel the people passing by. Probably half didn’t care, another quarter didn’t look, but she’d watched, so she knew others were watching this.

He pulled his mouth away. “Yeah, Luna, I can. I will. Unless you say no.”

He knew she couldn’t say no. Even when he wasn’t allowed to touch her, when she was the one in seeming control, she didn’t say no to him.

Now, she knew for sure she’d lost any semblance of control she thought she might have. He used his the heel of his hand between her legs, through her jeans, rubbing with an intense rhythm.

She groaned. Spread her thighs wider and rocked against his hand, wanting more—needing contact. But he didn’t try to move his hand inside her pants and her belly tightened with the impending orgasm. Trapped against him, trapped by him, she was going to come for him. She was going to let him know that she didn’t want to go anywhere without him.

She was going to break through.

“Now, Luna,” he commanded and before she could do anything, she came with a cry, bucking against him. And when she shattered, he held her tightly. She needed more though—a lot more, and she murmured that to him, told him something incoherent about how she never had to tell him anything, that he knew.

“I know one thing for sure—this isn’t over,” he told her roughly, his voice thick with arousal. “Not until I make you understand that you need to do what I say, and I’m going to show you what that feels like until you know it intimately.”

His words made her tremble, but she couldn’t deny it wasn’t from fear. Not even a little bit, especially not when he pretty much manhandled her, putting her over his shoulder.

“Put me down, Bishop,” she told him, tried to squirm away, but he totally ignored her.

* * *

Bishop was goddamned furious at her. She might not understand that there was trouble everywhere, even the motherfucking fantasyland that Keller’s seemed to be. She was thrilled to get into a fight and prove herself, to gain that bit of freedom and all he could think of was that he was going to have a heart attack every day for the next eight months.

He needed to protect her at all costs—and he would. Because he could not—would not—lose her. Tonight, he’d finally show her that, remind her that she came to him, and that there was a price to living with a dangerous man.

He let her down at the mouth of the ladder to the tube. She went down, cursing him the whole time. “Keep pushing, Luna.”

“I will,” she told him. She waited for him at the door, and once inside, he slammed it closed, locked it and pulled her against him, locking her between him and the wall.

“You could’ve been killed today.”

“And you could be killed every day.”

“No offense, Luna, but I’m a little better trained in this shit than you are. I know I’ve made it seem like Keller’s is insular and safe, but it’s not. There’s shit going on with the LoV—blowback for kicking them out of the compound. They’re not going down easily and you got yourself involved with LoV sympathizers today.”

“I didn’t know that.”

“Which is why you’ve got to assume everyone here has an ulterior motive. I’m on the LoV shit list. For their little hangers-on to get a piece of my woman? Do you see how badly that could’ve gone? You think they wouldn’t have taken down a piece of Defiance if they hadn’t seen Kammy?”

By the look in her eyes, he could see that she hadn’t thought that far.

Chapter Twenty-One

“There’s insidious danger, and then there’s immediate danger,” Bishop told her. “All of that’s here. All of that’s why you need to do whatever the fuck I say. And that doesn’t mean you’re weak or that you have to walk around scared. It means I want to protect you from this shit, make it so you don’t have to worry. It’s what I need to do, and you need to let me.”

“And what are you going to let me do?” Luna challenged.

“Wrap me around your goddamned finger,” Bishop growled, and that seemed to make him madder than anything else.

It also made her smile, which made him growl again. Before she could say anything more, he was on her, pushing her against the wall, holding her up by the hips, forcing her to wrap around him or fall. And she was so tired of falling...

But she knew he’d catch her. Every single time. Which was why she caught him, pulled him against her. Threaded her fingers through his hair and kissed him, moaning into his mouth.

He ripped her shirt open. Buttons scattered. He ripped her tank off like it was a piece of paper, exposed her breasts to him. When his fingers found her nipples, she surged against him. It was as if a jolt of electricity went straight from the hard peaks to between her legs.

He lifted her a little higher, brought his mouth down on her nipples and she moaned, watching him. So rough...so good...and somehow, still so safe.

He slowly lowered her, but only so he could peel her jeans off.

“Hurry, Bishop,” she murmured, and he picked her up again, put her onto the bed. Then he knelt at the edge and put her thighs over his shoulders and buried his face in her sex. She jumped. Cried out. Fisted the sheets as he licked her most sensitive areas, holding her open and exposed to him. Exposed to anyone who walked in, and although that hadn’t happened yet, that was somehow part of the thrill.

This was more than she’d ever thought she’d have, more than she’d ever thought she’d be able to feel with any man.

He was claiming her. She had no doubt he would’ve done this on her first night there, on their first night together if he hadn’t sensed her hesitance to do more than they’d done. The fact that he knew her past, that he wasn’t afraid of it, of her...that he didn’t think she was too damaged, that he showed her she wasn’t too damaged to enjoy this meant everything to her.

His tongue burrowed deep inside of her, his teeth grazed her clit and she was wantonly rolling her rips, pressing herself against his mouth, like she was afraid he’d stop.

But he wasn’t. Even as the pressure in her womb built to an almost unbearable level, he wasn’t pulling back. He was giving her exactly what she needed, and she held him there, until she came with a cry. Her orgasm felt like it went on forever and when she opened her eyes, the world was still hazy, and Bishop hovered over her.

“I’m going to take you, Luna. Make you mine. And you’re going to goddamned listen to me from now on, got it?”

“Still giving orders,” she murmured.

“Seems like you don’t mind taking them this way,” he shot back, and yes, no argument there.

“Don’t you dare stop now.”

“Wasn’t planning on it,” he told her, but his voice was much gentler than it had been earlier. She was so wet from her orgasm, from his mouth, and he slid partially inside of her before stopping. She gasped, because no, this was nothing like his fingers or his tongue. He was impossibly big and she was tight.

He leaned in and licked behind her ear. Suckled there, played with her nipples, until she pushed against him. Even though it hurt she knew it would get better. Had to. There were wars won and lost over this—it had to be the most amazing thing ever.

And there was a pinch of pain, but an equal one of pleasure. Bishop knew exactly how to handle her, how to make her fly and it didn’t take long before all the pain was gone.

All of it.

When he was fully seated in her, she stared into his eyes for a long moment. Brushed a hand over his cheek. This was nothing like what had happened to her in the old woodshed. That was dark and scary and this had pushed that memory completely out...she hoped forever.

She knew it was forever when he moved, flexing his hips to bring her an entirely new kind of pleasure that she was immediately addicted to him. Her feet locked around his back and her hips rose up to meet his thrusts.

* * *

Afterward, she lay, half on his chest, tracing his tattoos with her finger. When she got to the girl’s name, hidden inside an elaborate scrollwork that encompassed his shoulder, he knew she was finally going to ask about Mia’s name.

When she did, hesitantly, he told her, “She’s a girl I knew four years ago.”

“Did you date her?”

“It wasn’t like that.”

“Well, she made an impact if you added her name to your body,” she said.

He saw a bit of jealousy seeping through and truth be told, he didn’t mind it much. “Right before we went into the military—and onto the sub—we stopped in this little town for the weekend. They were known for their parties, because most of the people who still lived there were part of an MC charter—the OA’s. It was a small charter, and they stuck together with the town.”

“She was an MC girl?”

“No, she wasn’t. She was older than I was, nineteen to my almost seventeen. She ran this herbal shop before the storms, and afterward, she was into natural healing, so the town depended on her, since the closest doctors were an hour away, on the military base. She was pretty and kind, and she was something to see when she was helping people. Like the way you are with your cars—you can tell when someone’s doing something they’re born to do.”

“You loved her?” she asked quietly, although it seemed to be less of a question on her end.

He looked at Luna. “I did, yeah.” Mathias knew about Mia—and the obvious impact she’d made on him, since he’d asked Mathias to tattoo him after two days of being with her. But that tattoo happened afterward...

He drew in a deep breath, because he hated talking about it. Mathias had witnessed it firsthand. “It was a whirlwind. I didn’t expect it. We spent the weekend together, and I told her I’d come back right after boot camp. And I told you what happened with the subs. When we were pulled off, we were put into barracks. First chance we saw, Mathias and I broke out to go see her. She was two towns over...and it was destroyed.”

Luna’s eyes widened in surprise. “What happened?”

“I don’t know. It was like the place had never goddamned existed. The structures were literally gone, like a fire had burned through. It was flattened.”

“Maybe they got out?”

“The bodies were badly buried. I guess whoever did it knew that the dark would hide them until the decomposed. If Mia did get out, I’d have no way of knowing...except I know she didn’t.”

She nodded like she understood. Her eyes watered. “I’m so sorry, Bishop. That’s horrible.”

It had been. It had also taught him that falling in love wasn’t something he was going to do again. Until he walked into that garage and saw the beautiful girl lying next to him. And it was all over. “I’d like to think she led me to you, somehow.”

“I’d like to think that too,” she said, retracing the letters again with a purpose.

“I know I left you behind in Defiance—but I left you with the man I trust my life and soul with. Do you understand that? If Mathias wasn’t there, I don’t care how much I respected Defiance—I’d never leave you alone.”

“I understand,” she said softly.

“I couldn’t say goodbye, not really. Because it wasn’t a goodbye. You say goodbye and sometimes there’s no coming back from that. So it wasn’t goodbye.”

She nodded, touched his cheek. She was finally beginning to understand why her fight unraveled him.

He continued, “You’re here, with me. And I’m asking you—telling you that I don’t want you going goddamned rogue on me. Because I left Mia, and she was gone.”

“And if you’d been there, you would’ve been too,” she reminded him.

“Maybe. Maybe Mathias and I could’ve stopped it, saved people.”

“So you want me close because you’re in love with me?” she asked.

“That wasn’t clear?”

“Yes, it is, Bishop. Even if you’ve never said it. But sometimes, a girl needs to hear the words.” She paused. “And I guess, sometimes the guy needs to hear them too. I love you, Bishop.”

“Jesus, Luna, I love you.”

She smiled, looked down at the scrollwork again. Her eyes narrowed a little and she honed in, moving closer to look at the tiny moon and stars that was tattooed all throughout the design. “Is that...?”

“For you? Yeah.”

“How long has it been there?”

“From the first week I was in Defiance.”

She blew out a shaky breath. “I never saw it. All this time, I was missing it.”

“But you’re not now. That’s what matters.”

* * *

“How was tea with her highness?” Bishop asked her as they started dinner a few hours later. It was Indian food—curry and samosas and it’d been so long since Luna had this. It was one of her favorite meals.

She held up a hand, hoping he understood her
I
can’t talk about this until I’m done shoveling food into my face
gesture.

His grin seemed to indicate he did. She’d scented the meal even before Rocio knocked on the door. Bishop had noticed how obviously focused on the meal she’d been, and he’d let her eat before broaching the subject of her time with Kammy.

He’d waited until she’d fixed her plate and now, instead of broaching the subject again, he heaped another helping on her plate without her having to ask.

She ate until she literally couldn’t take one more bite, even though she still wished she could eat more. Only then did he say, “This is available every night.”

She felt her eyes widen. “I’d eat it for every meal. Breakfast, even.”

“Noted.”

She sat back, sated. “The fight wasn’t my fault. I had to prove myself, just the way you did.”

“Yeah, that’s what I was afraid of. Now you’re on Kammy’s radar too,” he muttered.

“Kammy’s nice. Smart. And they really want you to consider staying on permanently if the hard sell I’m getting is any indication.”

He took a long drink from his soda—grape soda in an old-fashioned glass bottle—before saying, “They want you here just as much.”

“Because you’ll stay where I am?”

“Because they want strong women who know their mind,” he corrected. “They like what you do with their cars. That you’re not interested in being kept. In case you haven’t noticed, that’s what a lot of women around here are vying for. As time goes on without the sun getting any stronger, people are getting more desperate.”

The sun had been coming out for longer periods of time without the aid of the government’s satellite, breaking through the volcanic debris left behind by the Chaos all on its own. Everyone kept waiting for the sun to get even stronger, to break through on its own more often, but that didn’t happen. Instead of getting stronger, the sun seemed to be leveling off. And she didn’t know if that tied into what Jessa learned...if the government was purposely keeping the sun from them—and how they did that, she had no idea—until they got rid of the people they wanted gone. Which was such a horrifying thought, she hadn’t been able to even think about it herself, and she’d never bring it up to Kammy.

Now, Kammy’s words from earlier came back to her.
As a couple
,
you two could go far here.

How far, she’d wondered, but hadn’t asked. Because she was getting sucked into Keller’s, no matter how much she’d told herself she was going to resist. This was a scarily seductive place and if she was going to be held prisoner, there were definitely worse spots. “Do you think I could go back to work on the car tonight for a while?”

His mouth quirked up a little. “Yeah. But I’m waiting there with you.”

She nodded, then said, “Kammy told me about the executions.”

“I figured she wouldn’t give you the hard sell without laying that on the line for you. She’s assuming, since you’re part of the MC, that you’d approve.”

She wondered if Kammy had been telling the truth about everyone on the compound being aware of the executions. Were they done in secret? Maybe people simply disappeared and everyone assumed they’d been kicked out of the compound. She was sure that happened as well. “Thing is...I’m not so sure I do.”

He leaned forward and said, “Me neither.”

She let that settle in, then asked, “The LoV were always in bed with Keller. Why are they acting out so badly?”

“No idea. But he’s keeping them out of happyland now,” he said. “He’ll bring them out the way you would a rabid dog, when he needs extra protection. Likes to bring them to other MCs and mafias. And they help his guys make the deliveries.”

“Kammy didn’t say anything about the trafficking.” She leaned forward on her elbows, tucking her legs under her. “Do you think if we pretended to go along with becoming Keller’s next power couple, we’d be let in?”

“Probably not. Maybe she doesn’t even know.”

She considered that. Bishop was probably right. “We know too much.”

“And that makes us dangerous. Good people to have on his side.”

“Bad people to have as enemies,” she added.

Bishop conceded that point. He’d known this all along, and he’d also realized that she needed to figure it all out for herself—that she wouldn’t be satisfied to just hear it.