Same/Difference (The Depth of Emotion #4) (11 page)

“I feel terrible that I’m not there.” Regret hung heavy in my voice. “Are they okay? This is so early, isn’t it?”

“They’re good.” His tone had returned to calm, easing my concern a little more.

“Aria’s going to need time to heal, but she’s doing well. The placenta was beginning to detach and she had to have a C-section. I’m not going to lie to you; it was very scary for a while. They were not only concerned about that but they were concerned about her womb tearing. When she began to have contractions, they told me to get her to the hospital as soon as possible. The damage that Marisol did to her womb when she was stabbed was the culprit. Although it was repaired after the attack, it weakened through the pregnancy. When I got her to the hospital the contractions were pretty strong. Of course, her recovery will take a little bit longer, and I may have to tie her to the bed to keep her down, but the doctors did what was necessary. They told me that the way they stitched her uterus back together corrected any deficiencies. Once she’s healed they tell me that future pregnancies shouldn’t be a problem.”

“Future pregnancies?” I laughed. I imagined that wasn’t the first thing on Aria’s mind.

“Yes, well, I’ll think about that another time. Right now, I want to concentrate on this sweet little girl!” His voice trembled on the edge of emotion once again.

“Paige…this baby… she is the most
beautiful
little girl in all the world. She is absolute perfection—just like her momma.”

His emotions were infectious. I cried a cascade of tears as I was engulfed by the affected in his voice. There was no denying the love he had for his wife and daughter. I was so thankful that Aria had a husband that loved her more than life. His words of warmth fell on me like a fuzzy blanket.

“She has gorgeous, thick, dark hair—
a whole headful
—and the sweetest, tiniest pink lips; they draw up into a heart shape when she’s hungry or about to cry.
And her eyes!
Paige, she has the most beautiful eyes with the longest, darkest lashes I’ve ever seen on a child. She just stared at me when I went to the nursery to see her. They’re big, and blue, just like Aria’s.”

“Other than her mother, she’s the only girl I’ve ever fallen in love with at first sight.”

I cried and laughed with every descriptive word. He was so happy and proud. I could almost picture her sweet face.

“You sound like a man in love. I can’t wait to see her and hold her.”

“I’ll send pictures to your cell as soon as I hang up,” he said proudly.

“Please do! I’ll catch the first plane out of here, so I’ll be home to help.” I knew Elizabeth would understand, but I hated that I was leaving Falcon behind.

“No, Paige, please don’t do that. It isn’t necessary.”

I was momentarily caught off guard, and a little hurt.

“It isn’t that I don’t want you here, and I’m not trying to hurt your feelings, but we’re covered. Aria is going to be staying in the hospital for a week or more. The doctors want to keep an eye on her because they really want her to heal well. You know how she is. If she’s home, she wants to be busy. The docs thought it best that she rest, and the baby is going to be in the NICU. We were lucky that she was a little over five pounds, but she’s still a preemie. The best I can hope for is that the two of them will come home the same day. I don’t even want to think about having to leave the baby behind at the hospital. That would crush Aria. You stay. Finish your vacation. Aria’s mom is here with me and Carter and Aimee are driving down tomorrow. They’re going to be staying at our house. By the time you get home everyone will be leaving. Then you can spend all the time you want with them—and Aria will tell you all the details, I’m sure.” He paused. “And I’m not going to apologize for wanting to keep her under my thumb for a few weeks. I want her to rest as much as the doctors do.”

I couldn’t fault him for being overprotective. I felt the same way about Aria that he did. What he said made sense.

“Are you sure?” My emotions played with me because I wanted to see them, but if I stayed in Vegas there was a strong possibility that I might be able to explore new emotions—and that was just as exciting as what was happening at home.

“I’m positive. Have a good time. Play a little. You need the time off and honestly, if you were here, it would be harder for me to make her rest. You know how the two of you are.”

“True.” I laughed because I could picture the look of pure exasperation on his face. He probably even rolled his eyes.

“Okay. You win. But be on the lookout for a
huge
bouquet of flowers.” Then something hit me. “Oh my gosh, Declan! I forgot to ask the baby’s name!”

His tone dropped an octave and was cloaked with reverence. “Her name is Karas—Karas Rose Sinclair.”

It was the names of two women who were loved and lost far too soon. Karas was Lacey’s middle name and Rose was the name of Declan’s mother.

“It’s perfect,” I whispered. “Please give Aria my love. I’ll call her in a few days.”

“I will,” he promised.

“And, please, give little Miss Karas lots of hugs and kisses for me.”

After we finished our conversation, I laid back and tried to go to sleep. It was impossible to close my eyes. Ripples of excitement coursed through me, more in one day than in my entire life. First from Falcon, then the new baby. All I could think of was shopping. I wanted to buy so many things to send home. Then again, it occurred to me where I was. The stores never closed here! I would have called Elizabeth, but it was too early.

I could call Falcon! This would definitely give me a glimpse of the man whose company I craved. Plus, he said that he was an insomniac.

Excitedly, I called his cell. I couldn’t contain my enthusiasm. I was taking a chance, for sure. If I woke him, he might be angry. Then I would apologize and tell him to go back to sleep. But if he was awake? I really wanted his company and to share the news.

And who didn’t like shopping?

F
alcon was a good sport. He didn’t get angry when I called, he picked me up and, after being dragged through many stores, I noticed that his large hands were perfectly designed to hold many bags.

“Are you sure you’re not angry? I know I dragged you out of bed, but you told me that you had trouble sleeping!”

He gave me a sly, but playful, look. “If it was anyone else…”

“I’m so sorry!” I laughed. “I didn’t want to wake Elizabeth…”

“So you woke me instead?” He interrupted and gave me an incredulous look, laughing at the irony.

“I would have woken up her whole family if I called—and I
really
wanted to go shopping! I’m going to FedEx everything home. It’s a lot of stuff. Too much to take on the flight!”

He looked up one arm and down the other, and then held the armload of bags up in the air for effect. “Really? You could’ve fooled me!”

“I am sorry.” I scrunched up my nose. “Are you really angry?” I bit my lip as insecurity gripped me.

He dropped his arms. “No. I’m just teasing you.”

His expression was playful so I smacked at his upper arm. The firmness hidden under his shirt nearly bruised my fingers and I blushed.

“Not funny, Fal.”

“I can’t help it, beautiful.” He laughed at my expense. “You’re just too easy.”

The look on his face assured me and I smiled.

“Ah,” he said returning my smile. “That’s better. It’s nine a.m. You want to grab breakfast?”

The truth was shopping
had
made me hungry, but fatigue was setting in as the excitement fizzled out. I was still reeling from the last event that happened when I was tired. Although I didn’t feel the same angst I did that night, I was winding down and was a little fearful that I would fall victim to my weakness once again.

“I’d better go back,” I explained. “I want to pack up all this stuff and get it out today. I’ll just order something in my room.” The look on his face told me that he didn’t like that idea and had one of his own.

“I’ll tell you what. We’ll eat breakfast at my hotel. I’ll call room service. I can help you wrap while we’re waiting for the food. Once we’re finished, I can call someone to get the packing supplies and you can ship from the hotel.”

“You don’t mind?” My heart tripped over his thoughtfulness.

“Not at all.” He winked at me. “…And I’ll have company for breakfast.”

I hesitated, but his pleading made him boyishly irresistible. My stomach fluttered with butterflies. Dare I push the fatigue knowing what might lie ahead? Something inside told me it was safe to take the risk.

I shrugged and looped my arm inside of his. “Okay, why not?”

The corners of his mouth lifted in a victorious grin.

“You may regret inviting me,” I warned. “Breakfast is my favorite meal of the day!”

I
was happier than at any time in my life that I could remember. Days and weeks were passing by quickly and I found that I enjoyed Falcon’s company more than I cared to admit. I wanted to allow myself the freedom to get close to him, but there was a gnawing hesitancy ingrained in me from all the past hurts. Something about Falcon drew me in. I was so accustomed to planning everything out and days with Falcon were refreshingly spontaneous. Unlike most men I had met I couldn’t figure him out because he seemed to have no agenda. His only goal was to do things with me that we both enjoyed. He was kind, confident, and considerate. I spent more time on the phone with him in a few days than I did my family in a month. Thinking about being in someone else’s life on a daily basis made me feel strangely claustrophobic but, in reality, I didn’t feel that way with Falcon. Conversations with him were stimulating, and when I talked he heard every word. I had a preconceived notion that a man of his size and stature would be somewhat chauvinistic but he never patronized me. He said he liked seeing me happy. One day, when we were having coffee, the background music in the cafe was by Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons. My mom and dad loved their music and played it all the time. I hummed along with the tune while he watched, amused, leaning back in the chair. Three nights later, he asked if we could have an early dinner together, and at the end of our meal he surprised me by taking me to a showing of
Jersey Boys.

Best. Night. Ever.

I found it necessary to extend my trip when a client of mine called. He had phoned the office and learned I was in Las Vegas. He and his wife were planning to fly out and they wanted to look for a retirement community where they could purchase a home. I phoned home to check on Aria and the baby and she assured me that they were fine. Although I felt a little guilty, when I told Falcon that I would be extending my stay, he did the same. I was happy at the prospect of spending more time with him. We had been seeing each other nearly every day for several weeks. I flip-flopped between spending time with him and Elizabeth; either I had lunch with Liz and dinner with Fal, or vice versa. Liz pressed me to meet him but I kept putting it off. It wasn’t because I didn’t think she would like him, but because I selfishly wanted to keep him all to myself. I had never done this before. It felt somehow dangerous to let Falcon through the wall of my inhibitions, but he fit so perfectly with my personality that I couldn’t help myself. He made me feel valued and beautiful. I so badly wanted to shed the walls I had built around me, but day-by-day I was constantly reminded that this was temporary. The logistics of where we both lived would kill whatever was left of the relationship when this trip was over. I promised myself that I could live with that because, for the first time, I felt like I was special. My issues and insecurities had always made me feel less than normal, but the way that Falcon treated me made me feel better than normal could possibly be—and it was intoxicating.

Elizabeth noticed the change in me, and wanted to meet the man who was making me happy. I gave in and Falcon made plans for the three of us. This was the night the two of them would meet, and I was nervous. It wasn’t as if I hadn’t given Elizabeth regular updates on my dates with Falcon, but she pressed for details and I hadn’t given her any. She could be as overprotective of me as Aria. The reason for this particular get-together was that she threatened to crash our next date if I didn’t let her meet him. Although I walked a thin line between apprehension and anxiety, I was glad she would get to know him. He had become my favorite, daily habit.