Sammy (7 page)

There's another pause and then I find out it is a friend – a good one as it turns out. She's called Kaylah and she used to hang out with Christian before he came to the Academy. She was Aaron's girlfriend - the guy that robbed the servo with Christian. She tells me they're down at the Maroubra skateboard park.

I have to get there as fast as I can. I know it's Kat's Defence of the Hip-Hop Arts class, but Christian needs me. When I get there, Kaylah spots me straightaway – probably because I'm the only person there that looks like he's never set foot on a skateboard in his life.

Christian's pushing his board like there's no tomorrow. Even on wheels he's got a rhythm the others don't have. He's loving it. I was expecting to find him cut up but right now he's with his old boarding helmet on, thrashing the half-pipe, like he doesn't have a care in the world. He makes it look so easy, I feel I could do it. Almost.

‘You said he's in trouble,' Kaylah says.

‘He's been skipping class. They're worked up about it at the Academy.'

‘That's it?' she says.

‘They'll kick him out. I love Tara to bits but she's not worth that.'

Kaylah looks at me as if I'm a complete idiot. ‘You think this is all about a girl?'

‘It was a pretty intense break-up.'

She starts laughing. ‘You so don't get it.'

‘Get what?' I ask.

‘Aaron's disappeared. Gone north. And it's the court case next week. Without Aaron there to say he planned the robbery and brought the knife …'

‘But it wasn't Christian who set it up. With a good report from the Academy they won't send him to prison.'

‘Try telling him that.' Kaylah folds her arms.

When Christian sees me he comes over. ‘Am I going to get a lecture?' he asks with a big grin.

I've never seen him so upbeat.

‘What? No …' I'm lying. The lecture will come later. I don't want to spoil his mood. ‘But you could have said what was going on.'

‘You want a go?' he offers the board to me, ignoring the fact that Kaylah's obviously told me everything.

‘Think I'll pass.'

‘Your loss,' and he's off again.

He finally breaks off for some food and the three of us go for burgers, which Christian swears are the best in Sydney. He's bought six, as if he'll never get to have one again.

‘Next weekend I'll be eating gruel and wearing prison overalls,' he says.

Kaylah gets annoyed. ‘Will you stop it?'

‘Yeah,' I agree with her. ‘They don't send you to prison for shoplifting.'

‘We had a knife, it's a whole different ball game.'

‘My aunt's a barrister. I can talk to her, get some advice.'

‘I'm sick of advice.' Christian's not listening to anyone. ‘I've done everything they asked me and for what? I've got one week left of freedom and I'm going to enjoy myself.'

‘You're an idiot.' Kaylah walks off. She can't believe he's throwing everything he's got away because Aaron let him down.

I can't leave Christian like this. Somehow, someone has to talk sense into him. It will have to be me.

Christian is sprinting through his ‘Ten things to do before I go to juvie' list and dragging me along for the ride.

He brings me to the top of some rocks high above the sea. It has to be at least ten metres down, but every time I look it seems further. He can't be serious.

‘Aaron and I used to do it all the time. Trust me, it looks worse than it is.'

‘Why are we doing this again?'

‘Cos life is short, Sammy.'

Without a second thought he jumps off. It's the life's short bit that worries me. Life could be about three seconds short if we hit the rocks. Christian hits the water fine. If this is what it takes, then I guess I'll have to do it. I take my T-shirt off and jump.

My heart stops but then I hit the water, alive. More than just alive. It was brilliant. I want to climb out and do it again, but swimming at the rocks really would be stupid.

Instead we swim round to the beach, run out and throw ourselves on the sand.

‘That was awesome!'

‘I told you,' he grins.

‘You were right,' I say.

He looks so happy, with water dripping off his face.

‘But you're wrong about the court hearing. You're running away.'

‘What else am I supposed to do?'

‘Gee, I don't know. Get some legal advice. Keep going to class so you get a reference from the Academy?'

‘But I did it. I was at the servo. We totally did that guy over.'

‘You going to do it again?'

His hurt and angry look answers me.

‘Exactly. So why are we lying around here? They need to know that.'

Christian looks at me. Really looks at me. I think I've finally gotten through.

‘You're like a forty-year-old man trapped in a geeky sixteen-year-old body, aren't you?'

‘Yes, I think I am.'

For all the trouble Christian's facing, it's been an awesome afternoon.

Me and my mate hanging out, debating burgers, jumping off rocks, enjoying each other's company.

When we get back to our room in the boarding house, Abigail's sitting on my bed with a picnic basket and a major scowl. Christian bails out immediately.

‘We had a date,' Abigail says.

‘I forgot. I'm so sorry. Christian's got some really messed-up stuff going on. I can't tell you what it is but it's serious.'

‘Tell me one thing. At any point this afternoon did you remember you were supposed to be with me?'

Her words sting because she's right. I feel terrible, I didn't think about her once. I've been avoiding her since the formal. I haven't admitted it to her, or even to myself, but there's no avoiding it now. How can I spend a whole afternoon not thinking about the girl I'm meant to be in love with?

‘It's not working, Sammy, and I don't know how to fix it.'

‘I know. Me either.'

‘Maybe we shouldn't be doing this any more?'

‘Maybe we shouldn't.' I say it before I can even think about it. ‘I mean if that's what you want.'

‘Yeah, it's what I want,' she says. It's not what she wants but she's not going to let me see that. She's pulling back. The ice queen that I worked so hard to melt is freezing over again. I can't believe I'm the one that's triggering her defence mechanism.

If anyone had told me a week ago, a day ago or even ten minutes ago that we would be breaking up I'd have thought they were mad. But that's what's happening. After everything we've been through – my relentless campaign, her stubborn resistance and those amazing weeks when we felt so close that touching was almost too intense – we're here sitting miles apart on the edge of my bed with an unused picnic basket between us.

It's over.

For the next week I'm determined to help Christian get to his court case and keep out of juvenile detention.

It's not an easy task. His mate, Aaron, turns up. At first this seems like good news but he persuades Christian to change his statement, to say that it was Christian's idea to take the knife. Aaron reckons the good kid doing well at the Dance Academy will get away with it. He won't, but Christian goes along with the plan because he thinks it's the sort of thing mates do for each other.

I call Kaylah to see if she can talk sense into Christian but that doesn't work.

I can't believe after all our time, all his hard work over the year, he's going to throw it all away for some loser.

On the day of the court case, the loser finally comes through. He waits right to the last moment to say that Christian should tell the truth about the knife.

Christian comes out of court and says the magic words we've been reciting all week: ‘Suspended sentence'.

It's the best news ever. Christian gets to continue dancing and I get to keep my best friend.

That's right, I actually have a male best friend. We even have our own handshake. It's sort of stupid, like a fake high five, but we don't care.

From now on it's Christian and me: no court cases, no girl worries, just learning to do backflips and arguing over the name of the band we're going to start. Christian reckons it should be called Free Beer.

‘Imagine the poster,' he says. ‘Guaranteed crowd-puller.'

The weeks fly past. Summer hits in that blissful Sydney way. The days are hot, the nights are warm and it feels like life has always been perfect.

I've got everything I came to Dance Academy for. I'm dancing well, keeping up with my studies and I've got a mate that I love hanging out with. I have a brainwave. Christian should spend the summer holiday with me at my parents'.

‘We could rehearse for our band in the garage,' I tell him.

‘I could teach you to surf,' he says.

‘It'll be off the hook.'

‘Do you think your olds would really go for it?'

I won't give them a choice.

You can have too much of a good thing. The summer weather that geared up so perfectly has gone into overdrive. The heat is intense. The air-con at the Academy can't fight it and throws in the towel. Classes are almost unbearable: sweat pours off us, clothes are soaking, even the floor gets too slippery to dance on. Patrick resorts to taking dance classes in the pool. He thinks the water will help with our placement. We don't care, we're just grateful. It's cool, wet and a lot more fun.

In between classes, every spare moment we get we spend at the pool.

Kat's floating on a lilo. She's wearing a big floppy hat and massive sunnies that make her look like a movie star.

‘Christian's getting us some drinks,' I say.

‘Two of you are very chummy these days. Do I have cause for jealousy?'

‘Possibly. We made a pact of brotherhood.' It's true. We've sworn off girls. No more break-ups. No more jumping when one of them snaps their fingers. ‘From now on we're an island of man.'

Kat puts her hand to her heart. ‘You have a guy friend. It's what you've always wanted.'

She is so right.

Summer, intense heat and hours by the pool also mean the end of our first year at the Academy. And that means the school production of
The Nutcracker
at the Opera House. Kat swears she hates
The Nutcracker.
Her mother danced it in her first year at the Academy and for the next fifteen years after that.

‘It just reminds me of stolen Christmases. Natasha dancing, Dad directing. Ethan and I stuck in a hotel room.'

Her memories are about to be relived. Sebastian, Kat's father, is directing the production with Ethan as assistant director. We all have to audition for roles.

I'm looking forward to auditions. It's an amazing opportunity for us to get a taste of life as professional dancers. My nerves are under control. I'm even coping with the intense heat. Everything's going great until the night before auditions. I have the dream I always have: there's a big exam, the biggest of my life, and I'm sitting there with the exam booklet. I open it up and realise I can't answer a single question. All the time I've been studying the wrong subject.

I wake up and try to shake my dream off. It's 2 am and it must be almost thirty degrees outside.

Before I got to the Academy I had this list of whys.

Why do I get anxious if I don't know where the nearest toilet is?

Why do I have three hairs on my chest and eighteen on my big toe?

Why do I like taking those IQ tests on the internet?

I look over at Christian – his sheet's pulled right down to his waist. He's fast asleep, untroubled by dreams. Now I'm asking why have I never been this happy before?

Kat thinks I have a man crush on him. ‘I've had girl crushes before,' she says. ‘It doesn't have to mean anything.'

But I am so not going there.

At the auditions all I can do is throw my confusion into my dancing. I'm hoping somehow, by giving myself over completely to the movement, suddenly everything will become clear: calm and happiness will be restored. That doesn't happen but the audition goes okay.

Tara turns up late for her audition, stumbles once, but is great. She's a natural. Abigail is perfect but clinical. You can tell she's rehearsed furiously. Christian's audition is fantastic. I watch him through the window. With the court case behind him, he's amazing. He moves so well, positions himself with such precision. I catch myself smiling as he finishes.

Kat stages a walk-out – in front of her brother and father. It's the ultimate act of defiance. She's not just walking out on this production, she could end up being pushed out of the Academy altogether.

If Christian had come out of his audition and done our stupid fake high-five thing, I think I would have coped. My list of whys would have stayed the same. But he comes out so pumped and excited that he puts his arms around me and hugs me.

Why did the world stand still when he did that?

Now there's this whole list of whys that never crossed my mind before and I can't say them out loud because once I let them out, there's no going back.

‘Christian's never going to speak to me,' I say to Kat as we cool off down at the pool later.

‘Why?'

‘Because you were right.'

‘A man crush isn't the end of the world.'

‘What if it's more than that?' I explain to her that going out with Abigail wasn't nothing. It was real.

‘Of course it was.'

‘Things have just been intense since the court sentencing and …' I can't say it. ‘Being in close proximity to someone, it's textbook that stuff gets confused and … '

‘… and maybe you just like him,' she says looking right at me.

Why does she have to cut to the chase right when I'm clinging onto the evasion?