Samson and Sunset (19 page)

  Shay turned towards me, put his arm
around my waist without a word, and went to sleep. But I lay awake
a long time. Guess Cookie meant more to me than she did to Shay, I
thought sadly.

  ***

I got up when Shay did. Might as well, I
couldn't sleep. I ran a hot bath and soaked while Shay showered and
dressed. He bent down to kiss me goodbye, but I just turned my head
away. Shay paused a second and just looked at me; then turned and
left.

  I started getting ready at about 11 so
Shay could use the bathroom to get ready when he got back. I laid
out his clothes on the bed: a black suit, black boots, a gray
pinstriped shirt with a white collar and a black tie.

  Shay was filthy when he came in around
noon. On any given day I'd have said, “Why didn't you take those
dirty jeans off downstairs?” But today it didn't seem
important.

  When he was ready he looked so spiffy;
he was truly the most handsome man I'd ever known.

  "Lets go, Callie. Don't want to be
late."

  We took our own car and Sterling,
Maggie, Debbie and Becky went in theirs. The drive was pretty
silent. I was disillusioned with Shay not showing any emotion. I
just wasn't raised that way. I couldn’t understand it.

  ***

After the service at the cemetery, everyone
went back to the church for lunch in the basement and I made a
point of sitting at a table with some neighbors I'd gotten to know.
I went where there was only one chair. I just didn't want to sit
with Shay. His actions, or lack thereof, had disappointed me.

  While we were eating lunch, our
neighbor, Dale Houseman, said, "You must be mighty proud of that
husband of yours."

  I looked up at him and was about ready
to comment when he proceeded to tell everyone at the table, "Ya
know, we have twelve men on the cemetery committee, but Shay
wouldn't let anyone dig Cookie's grave but himself. He was up
diggin’ with a pick and shovel on his own all night. The ground was
still partially frozen. He came back early in the morning to finish
the job. I went out there at one point and offered to help him
myself, but he said, 'Cookie would have wanted it this way. She was
my Cookie. I need to take care of her the way she took care of
me.'"

  Tears filled my eyes. Here I was so
mean to Shay, thinking he didn't care about Cookie, and he was up
all night digging her grave. Well, people handle their pain
differently; who was I to tell him how to mourn. What pain he must
be holding inside.

  Well, if he didn't want me to know,
then that's how it would be.

  When we left the church, I sat close
to Shay on the way home. He said he had to go to work as soon as we
got home. He didn't know that Dale had told me that Shay wanted to
close the grave himself. So I knew he was headed back to the
cemetery. How hard it must have been for him, out there in the
cemetery alone under the dusky sky turning to darkness, covering
his Cookie with dirt.

  I sat down and cried my eyes out for
Cookie, Joe, Kelly and myself; but my heart was with Shay.

  I was in bed when he got home. He
showered and came to bed in silence, lying on his back with his
hands clasped together on his chest. I lifted up on my elbow and
opened his hands with my free hand and laid my head down on his
chest. I moved my face up to put it beside his and his face was wet
with tears.

  I just hugged him so tight and took my
hands and wiped the tears away from the sides of his face. By now I
was crying too. Here we were, the two kids, as Cookie had called us
that long ago night when the roads had washed out and she stuck her
head into the den. Well, these kids were crying their hearts out
now over their Cookie.

  After a good cry and just laying there
awhile, Shay reached for me in that tender lovemaking way. We had
to move forward, but Cookie would leave a hole in both our
hearts.

  ***

A few weeks later, Joe told Sterling he was
lonely living in that three-bedroom house by himself, and wondered
if he could move into the bunkhouse with the guys; said he needed
the companionship. Sterling had no problem with that and they moved
the new hand and his family into Cookie and Joe’s old house,
leaving the five-bedroom house I’d wanted available for us; a final
gift. Leave it to Cookie.

  The Surprise

  I couldn't have been more elated than
I was to see the inside of the old house that would be ours. Shay
and I walked through the rooms while I visualized what I wanted and
where.

  Shay asked me what I wanted done,
adding, “Just give me a few ideas. Don't get carried away,
princess. You know I want to do all the work myself, at least most
of it anyway, and time is of the essence."

  “Well,” I said, thinking, "I want
glass in the kitchen cupboard doors so I can display things.”

  He looked at me like I'd lost my mind,
remarking that everything would have to be perfect all the time in
there, or everyone would see the mess. Boy, didn't he know me yet?
I was little miss perfectionist.

  In the kitchen I told him I wanted a
huge built-in table with a granite surface and matching
countertops. Shay said he could make a wrought-iron pot rack and
hang it above the kitchen table. The formal dining room was off the
kitchen and I wanted it to match the sunken living room it flowed
into. Yes, I wanted a sunken living room. It wasn’t sunken yet but
Shay said he’d think about how to make one. The passageway between
the living room and the dining room was marked by an ornate,
leaf-scroll wrought-iron railing, which was attached to two round
floor-to-ceiling wooden pillars.

  I told Shay I wanted these antiqued
white. I wanted a white French table with seating for at least
twelve people in the formal dining room. We’d buy a white china
hutch that lit up and would match the table and display our fancy
dishes. All my childhood days of looking into storefronts, dreaming
rooms together, came flooding back to me. I was like a painter set
loose with every imaginable color.

  I said I wanted beautiful chandeliers!
A white satin sofa! The furniture would all be white French
provincial.

  “What color will the wallpaper and the
carpet be, princess?”

  Well, this was the Sixties, and
flocked wallpaper was the big ‘in’ thing, along with shag
carpet.

  “Plum,” I said, “like a mulberry. With
flocked, striped paper in two-tone plum to match the carpet, with a
lighter strip of coin-gold to offset it.”

  Maybe I’d lean toward coin-gold for my
accent color, I thought. I wanted satin drapes in plum, with plum
colored pinch-pleated sheers. When the sun shone through the plum
sheers it would give the room a beautiful light. I’d swag the heavy
drapes with gold braided tassels. There’d be beautiful swag
valances…

  “I want it elegant, Shay,” I said.
“The drapes should go across one whole wall, and that big fireplace
should be a focal point. I see two gold satin wingback chairs on
each side of the fireplace, with matching ottomans. Oh, Shay,
please antique the fireplace white, and put a marble surround on
it,” I begged.

  “I'll have two tall vases on each side
of the fireplace, with beautiful fresh flowers from the hot house
and a huge gold leaf scrolled mirror above the fireplace!”

  “You don't want much do you,
princess?"

  “Well, darling, you asked what I
wanted. Now let’s move onto the bedrooms!"

  The master bedroom and bathroom were
on the main floor, with four bedrooms upstairs, all about the same
size.

  “We’ll paint the upstairs guest rooms
in two shades of blue,” I said. “The master bedroom, our love
nest…” I mused, “red. Sexy fire-red! I want a huge master bath with
a soaking tub for two and a big shower with a built-in seating
area—a place we can have wild sex if we feel like it!”

  This certainly got Shay's
attention.

  “I like your style, princess. But hold
up a minute, slow down. Let me do the bedrooms, ’cause, woman, I
have an idea and I want to make it a surprise.”

  “Oh, Shay, I don’t know about
that…”

  “Trust me, Callie.” He picked up my
hand and gently kissed the top. “You pick the colors and furniture.
Let me surprise you with the rest.”

  “Okay,” I said uncertainly.

  “Hell, right now I’m trying to figure
out how I'm going to give you a sunken living room!” He rubbed his
chin. “Babe, lets just go to bed so I can think about this and try
to get a picture of the whole thing in my head.”

  He took my hand and led me toward the
door. “I swear, woman, I should make you live in a tent. You always
think you have to have the best.”

  ***

Later that night, after a few fun hours of
rolling around on, and off, the bed, I was almost asleep when Shay
jumped up and said excitedly:

  “That’s it! That’s it! I'll raise the
formal dining room two steps up, so you'll have to go down two
steps to get in the formal living room! There ya have it,” he
grinned, relieved. “Your sunken living room.”

  “Shay Westover,” I said in a sweet
voice, “will you get back in bed before you wake the kids? We can
talk about it in the morning. I swear I thought you’d lost your
mind jumping out of bed like that. You scared me to death, now come
to bed."

  ***

Shay worked on the house almost every night.
He told me not to visit while he worked. He said he didn’t want me
getting wind of the big surprise.

  One night when Kelly was at Mom and
Dad’s, I bundled Wessy up, got in the car and drove to our new
house where Shay was working. I wanted to see how he was doing.
Surely one little visit wouldn’t reveal too much. I’d just peep in
and say hello.

  To my amazement, as I walked in the
door I saw that there were two girls sitting there, watching Shay
work, talking and laughing. Everyone, including Shay, had a beer
can in their hand.

  “I can see why you don’t need me
here,” I said and stormed out. I drove to the Big House, put Wessy
down and went to bed.

  Less than an hour later, I heard Shay
come in. I heard the sound of the shower and then he came to bed,
smelling clean and sweet.

  "Well, little fire pants, see what
happens when you spy?"

  “I wasn’t spying on you, Shay, you’re
my husband! I just wanted to surprise you, but I guess I was the
one who got the surprise.”

  “Callie,” Shay said. “I didn't invite
them out, they just showed up. Now tell me you’ll stay out of the
house, princess. Promise. I really want it to be a surprise.”

  He looked over at me. “You know you
really don’t have to check up on me,” he added in his sweet
voice.

  “Okay, okay, I won’t go there. But I
don’t really like surprises,” I reminded him.

  I kept that promise and didn’t go into
the house. I did walk past it once when I took the kids on their
afternoon walk. It was really taking shape. Shay had put two new
round pillars on the horseshoe-shaped front porch. In back of the
house, I saw the huge balcony he was building on the upper level.
Also shaped like a horseshoe, it was supported with five huge
pillars. He had put a stone patio under the upper balcony, a
sheltered place to sit, even if it was raining. He had put in all
new windows. It was looking good.

  Just as I turned to go, I noticed a
huge rubbish pile that was waiting to be taken away. On the rubbish
pile I saw a used condom. After a rush of condom anger, I told
myself to reason it out. Now be sensible, I told myself, it wasn’t
necessarily Shay’s…it could have been one of the ranch hands’. That
was, in fact, more possible, as I had never known Shay to use a
condom (we didn’t have so much to worry about then, except getting
pregnant, and you remember, he had his “pull-out method.” If you
call that a method.)

  I was feeling better as I walked with
the kids toward the Big House. It was probably just one of the
crew’s, I told myself.

  At supper, I was quiet. Shay noticed
and asked about it. I just said I was tired, and I was going to go
to bed early. He went out to work on the house and the kids and I
went upstairs and played a little. I read them a bedtime story and
bathed them. I bathed myself and went to bed. Naturally, Shay woke
me when he came in. He never liked to go to sleep without making
love first. That was fine by me. At least if he wanted me, he
wasn't with some other girl using a condom.

  ***

We had a great few months with me designing
the layout of the house, the placement of furniture, etc. All on
paper, mind you, as I wasn’t allowed to look inside the house ’til
it was done. I picked steel gray for the outside, with white for
the pillars, black shutters, and a fire-red front door.

  At one point, Shay asked me to go buy
the bedroom set of my dreams. That was a major decision, so I told
him he was helping with that. We went to Lincoln to furniture shop
and found the most beautiful pecan lightwood bedroom set. It caught
both of our attentions; love at first sight. We bought a king bed,
a dresser with a huge mirror, two side tables, a television
armoire, and a chest of drawers. I might not know what the big
bedroom surprise was, but at least I knew what the bed looked
like.

  Shay told me we were going to spend
our first night at the new house the night of our anniversary on
July 3rd. He asked me to ask Mom to keep the kids that night. She
agreed and we had a plan.

  That night Shay took me to the club
for supper. After we’d had dinner and danced a couple of dances,
Shay whispered in my ear, “Princess, lets go home. I have a
surprise for you. But I want you to know, babe, I haven’t arranged
any furniture; you get to do that. I just put the bed in.” He
winked at me.

  Of course, the bed, I thought, feeling
sexy—most important part of our life to this point, with the
exception of Kelly and Wessy.