Sanctuary (Freaks MC Book 2) (20 page)

“
Not sure. Deke said his mom looked kind of like a Husky. He thought he needed a badass name to live up to.”

“
Don't seem to be working so far.” The pup yelped as a chicken pecked him on the nose.

She smiled. “I raise badass chickens. They're used to dogs. Back home they....” Her breath caught at the memory of her old life.

Tiny took the cigarette from between her fingers and dropped it into a pot on the window ledge. “You're smoking too much, girl.”

“
Yeah, I know.” She knew better than to argue with him.

“
Too skinny, too. You need to get some meat on your bones.”

“
Nothing like a pep talk from Tiny to make a girl feel good about herself.”

His mouth twitched. “Smart mouth's back, though.”

“Did you miss it?”

“
Yeah, I kinda did.” He tucked her hair behind her ear. “How you doing, little one?”

“
Better, I guess.”

“
You painting?”

“
No.”

“
Why not?”

“
I don't know.”

“
Yes, you do. Why ain't you painting, Emma?”

“
I don't know how to explain it.” She sighed and pulled out another cigarette. Tiny frowned, but said nothing. “I can't remember how I felt when I painted.... No that's not it.” She shook her head. “You've seen my stuff, right?”

“
Yeah.”

“
What did you think when you saw them?”

“
Where do you find suckers to pay five hundred bucks for something my kid could do.”

She laughed and shook her head. “When I paint, I'm trying to recapture a mood, not an image. I can't do it any more. It might looks random splashes of color to you, but that's how I remember a walk through the woods, or the smell of a flower.”

“So paint what you're feeling now.”

“
Kinda scared to do that, Tiny.”

Emma loved Tiny's grin. “I'd probably buy one.”

“You're a sick fuck, sometimes.”

“
You know it, little one.” He straightened up. “How pissed would your ol' man be if I took you for a ride?”

“
How pissed would your old lady be?”

He picked up the pup and put him in the kitchen, quietly closing the door behind him. “Wanna live dangerously?”

~ oOo ~

They didn't ride far. After a mere ten minutes he pulled up outside the cemetery gates and led her to a small, white headstone.

Emma stood back as he crouched down and wordlessly ran his fingers along the name. Not wanting to intrude, she headed for a nearby bench. Tiny looked up and followed her.

He sat down and, lighting a joint, passed it to her. “I've only been here once. On Amy's twenty-first birthday. I wasn't even here for her funeral.”

“Why?”

He shrugged. “Cuz I was too much of a fucking coward to face up to losing my kid.”

She studied his profile for a while. He didn't look so terrifying any more. “Why did you bring me here?”

“
I dunno, little one. Wanted somewhere private to talk, I guess. He took her hand. “How you really doing, Emma?”

“
Like shit.” She ran her thumb across the wedding band on his finger. “I can't sleep, can't eat. I feel sick all the time, and I'm scared.” She couldn't stop the sob from escaping. “Everything scares me now. I fucking hate it, Tiny.”

“
You gonna run?”

She shook her head. “No.”

If she hadn't have been watching closely, she'd have missed the smile. “Good girl.”

“
Why do you care, Tiny?”

He turned and examined her face. “I like you. You remind me of my kid.”

“Oh. Do I? How?”

“
She had a smart mouth as well.”

Emma sighed and leaned against him a little. “What am I gonna do?”

“You say you're scared of everything. You scared of me?”

“
No.”

“
Were you scared when I was pointing my gun at the fucker that was holding you?”

“
Of you? No.”

“
Why?”

“
Because I trusted you to keep me safe.”

“
He was never gonna shoot you, Emma. His only chance was to take a shot at me. I didn't save you. Samson did.” He smiled at her expression. “Why d'ya think they beat him so bad if they wanted to keep him awake to watch them hurt you? What did he do?”

“
I don't know. He'd passed out and they were trying to wake him up. He headbutted one and kicked another, then they all just started beating on him. And all the time, he was focusing on me, talking to me, trying to... I dunno, keep me strong.” She shuddered at the memory. “I thought they were going to kill him.”

“
You talk about this with Samson?”

She looked at her hands and shrugged.

“He still doesn't know, does he? Shit Emma, you gotta tell him. He's your ol' man, he deserves the truth.”

“
I can't. He doesn't need to know that the beating he took was for nothing. That they'd already...”

“
It wasn't for nothing. He kept you alive until the cavalry arrived.” He stood and pulled her to her feet. “C'mon, it's cold. How 'bout we go home and face the music.”

“
Tiny? Does anyone else know?”

“
Just me, little one. And I ain't what you could call talkative.”

~ oOo ~

“Calm down, Samson.” Beth touched his arm. “Listen to what Joe has to say.”

Ignoring her, he stormed into the kitchen. “Where the fuck have you been?”

Emma flinched and Tiny touched her shoulder. “It's okay. Go with Beth.” His eyes met Samson's. “How about we step outside for a smoke, brother.”

He followed his brother out to the yard and folded his arms. “You got two minutes 'fore I pound your fucking face. You really think I'm gonna be okay with you taking off with my ol' lady?”

“Don't much give a shit whether you're okay with it or not.” Tiny shrugged. “You wanna hit me – I'm standing right here – take your best shot.”

A movement in the doorway caught his eye and he scowled. “Get inside, Emma. I'll deal with you later.”

“No.” She raised her chin and moved in front of Tiny. “We haven't done anything wrong. I'm not going to stand by and watch you hit Tiny for being a friend to me. We just went somewhere quiet to talk.”

“
What do you need to talk to him about? You wanna talk. You talk to me.” He grabbed the front of her hoodie and gave her a shake. “You are my ol' lady, not his.”

“
Let her go brother.” Tiny stepped forward. “Your beef is with me.”

“
My beef,
brother
, is with both of you.”

“
Why?” He could feel his girl tremble, but she stood her ground. “Don't you trust us? You think we were fucking?”

“
Well you sure as shit ain't fucking me.” The look of pain that flashed across her face was like a dagger to his heart. Roughly, he pushed her away and stormed back into the house.

Beth was leaning on the kitchen counter comforting her daughter. She looked up and sighed. “I think I'd like you to leave now.”

“
I'm sorry, Beth.”

“
It's not me you should be apologizing to.” She kissed Abi's head. “Open your eyes, Samson. Emma is falling apart in front of you, and right now the only person who seems capable of holding her together is Joe.”

“
Why does he give a shit?”

“
Because he loves you, you big oaf.”

~ oOo ~

“For fuck's sake, Emma. There's dog crap all over the floor.”

She opened her eyes and blinked. “Sorry, I must've fallen asleep.”

“Maybe if you got off your ass and did something through the day, you'd sleep at night like normal people.” He hunted through the cupboards for something to clean the floor with.

Normal people weren't too scared of the nightmares that invaded their dreams to sleep. Normal people didn't lie awake for hours trying to shut out the images of their loved ones being beaten half to death. “I'm sorry.” She closed her eyes again.

“You're always fucking sorry. Just go to the doctor’s and get some fucking pills or something. I'm getting sick and tired of pussyfooting 'round your ass.” He slammed the cupboard door. “There's a half-finished house out there that should be ready for us to move into, cuz you can't drag yourself off your sorry ass and throw some paint on a canvas. I'm having to turn down work cuz I'm scared that if I leave you, you'll fucking starve to death. I got Anton and Felix on my ass all the time cuz you won’t pick up the goddamned phone. You won’t even let me fuck you. Jesus woman, it's not like you were raped or anything.”

Something deep inside her raised its head and slowly uncoiled. She opened her eyes and sat up. “I was alone with those...
pigs
for four hours. How do you think they entertained themselves? Of course I was fucking raped. Wanna know how many times?”

~ oOo ~

He was wanted to punch something.. or puke, he wasn't sure which. They'd raped her. His beautiful girl. They'd..... His vision swam and he staggered to the door. He had to get out. He had to ride.

“
Deke.” Her fingers brushed along his arm. “I'm sorry. Please, don't leave.”

He turned and, pulling her into his arms, held her as tight as he dared. “I'm not leaving, baby girl. I... I just don't know what to do. Why didn't you tell me? You shoulda told me, Emma.” He willed his body not to respond as she pressed herself closer. “We should be dealing with this together.”

“I'm sorry.” Her voice was muffled as she pressed her face against his chest.

“
No. I'm sorry.” Gently he pushed her away so he could look into her eyes. “This is all on me.” Taking her hand, he led her to the bed. “Sit.”

She sat and picked up the pup. “I'm sorry.”

“Stop saying that. None of this is your fault. Why didn't you tell me, Emma?”

She shrugged and pulled the pup closer. “You have all this guilt inside you, Deke. I would just be burdening you with more.”

“This isn't something you can deal with on your own, baby girl.” He tucked her hair behind her ear and ran his finger across her cheek. Then he straightened up. “You haven't been, have you?” She lowered her eyes. “Fuck, Emma! You can tell Tiny, but you can't tell me?”

“
I didn't tell him.”

“
Don't lie to me, baby.”

“
I'm not. Tiny was with me at the hospital. He figured it out.”

“
Anyone else know?”

“
No.”

“
You sure? There were plenty of my brothers in that hospital. Does Bugs know?”

“
Tiny knows. That's all. Don't worry, no one's whispering behind your back.” Her eyes as they met his, were cold. “Is that all you care about? 'Poor Samson, his ol' lady was raped and the bitch won’t even tell him'. Is that it, Deke? Scared it will cost you your credibility?”

“
Low blow, Emma.”

“
Suck it up, big man. I have my own shit to deal with, I don't have the energy to deal with yours.”

He couldn't do this. He didn't know how. “I'm gonna take a ride.”

~ oOo ~

He hadn't been planning on going to the clubhouse. He hadn't been planning on going anywhere. All he'd wanted was to get away. It was only when it became clear that the only thing that was going to stop the screaming in his head was tequila – a lot of tequila – that he turned towards Seattle.

Wednesday nights were poker nights. Generally they were quiet; just the patches, a few chosen hangarounds and maybe a couple of girls to keep the guys supplied with drinks and food.

Tiny was leaning on the bar, talking to Lola.

Ignoring everyone around him, Samson marched over and punched him square on the jaw, knocking him on his ass.

“
Son of a bitch.” Tiny spat the blood from his mouth and scrambled to his feet. “Son of a bitch!” He charged, sending them both crashing into a nearby table. “What the fuck is your problem?”

“
Take a guess, asshole.” Samson's knee connected with his brother's stomach, knocking the wind out of him. Quickly seizing his advantage, he pushed Tiny off and dragged him to his feet by his cut, then threw him against the pool table.