Sand and Sin (11 page)

She poured a beer and finished checking her customers, then scurried to her office with to take the last antibiotic. Damn horse pills were hard to choke down. When she returned to the bar, the evening news was broadcasting about a Navy SEAL killed during a training accident near San Diego.

No name or picture. Her heart froze. She prayed as she snatched her phone from atop the cash register and messaged Jax with shaky fingers. Except for when Haley had been hospitalized with appendicitis, Peri had never been so scared.

Someone had lost their son, brother, husband, or lover. Her eyes burned and the knot in her throat made a grapefruit seem small. Her phone buzzed and she jumped.

Through tears, the words blurred.
Angel, I’m okay. Can’t talk now. Will be in touch.

Thank God. She stepped into her small office and sobbed. Happy for him, but sorry for his brother-in-arms and the SEAL’s family.

After regrouping, she stepped behind the bar where one of her two waitresses had taken up residence.

“You okay, boss?”

Peri nodded. “Yeah, thanks for taking over. Just needed to make a private call.” Normally, she wouldn’t lie to her staff, but sharing about Jax was out of the question.

“Teenagers.” Beth huffed, blowing her fringy bangs. Peri assumed she meant Haley.

Later, TJ strolled in and sat his lanky frame in front of the bar. His warm, brown gaze searched her. “How’s your night?”

She painted on a smile. “Fine.” Her voice cracked.

“It’s not him.”

“What do you mean?” She glanced around to see who was in earshot.

He let out a sigh. “Jax never said a word, but I’m not dumb, Peri.”

She wiped the bar avoiding his gaze. “Do you know who it was?”

“A teammate of Jax’s.”

“Oh, God.” Another round of tears blurred her vision. She waited for him to continue.

“They’ll be on leave until after the funeral. You should go. He probably won’t ask you to come, but he’ll need you.”

Phil could take care of the bar. Haley would be fine. She hadn’t flown in years, but she’d deal. “Can you help me get a flight?”

He reached across the bar and took her hand. “I’ll even have someone waiting for you at the airport.”

* * * *

Jax sat alone in his living room. The bottom of his empty whiskey glass taunted him. He’d held it together at Sam’s house while amongst his SEAL brothers. Fortunately, he hadn’t been there when his former teammate missed the rope during a training exercise. Command still had him serving as a fill-in training instructor.

He let the tears flow. Only Peri in his arms could lessen his stabbing grief. He’d been through Hell Week with Sam, a.k.a. Samson, the brute of their team.

“Fuck!” He launched the tumbler across the room. Shards sparkled in all directions along the brick fireplace. He’d thought he could lock everything away, including the beautiful bartender. Especially Peri.

After stepped out onto the balcony and paced. Below, the empty beach reminded him of people he’d lost.

A run might burn off steam, but he needed more to forget. He searched his phone contacts and found Monica’s name. The international flight attendant was out of town as much as he. Fuck buddies might be a vulgar term, but it had applied to them before Peri. He pressed send.

She answered on the second ring. “Hey, hot stuff. When did you get in?”

He hesitated a beat. “You busy?”

“Not for you.”

He tucked his phone in his pocket, grabbed his keys, and strode for the elevator. Five floors down, the doors whisked open. Another couple of drinks and he’d close his eyes and pretend her warm body belonged to Peri.

Her golden gaze greeted him at the door. A petite brunette with Hindu and Latino ancestry, her cinnamon skin glowed under the low lighting. She ushered him inside to the plush Moroccan-style sectional and fixed him a drink.

“What’s wrong?” She plumped a pillow on the sofa and curled up next to him.

“Just haven’t seen you since I’ve been back and wondered if you were home.” He’d never bullshitted her before. Why start now?

“Jax, don’t lie. You’re not good at it.” She gaped. “Wait, was the SEAL on the news one of your team who fell from the helicopter?”

He downed the bourbon in one swallow and nodded.

“Oh, baby, I’m sorry.” She took the glass and set it on the bamboo coffee table.

“I just want to forget everything for a while.” He’d lost a lover and now a brother. Sam had been their team’s communications operator. Him dying by a freak accident hurt worse. Jax would rather go out fighting.

“I can help.” She nibbled his ear and down his neck. Her spicy perfume clung heavily and felt oppressing compared to Peri’s light citrus fragrance.

Wanting action other than his hand, his dick responded to her stimuli. Namely, the hot, slick feeling of being buried in a woman.

She ran her hand under his shirt, suggestively massaging his chest and abs. He tried to go with it but his muscles tightened. Mind-numbing sex. It’d always worked before.

She rubbed the outline bulging beneath his jeans. “Mmm. I’ve missed this fine tool.”

He shivered. His supposed fine tool jerked its appreciation at the compliment. Hell! He shouldn’t have come here. Even though he and Peri had no ties, this felt wrong. Usually his cock and heart were in agreement. Peri changed everything. It sucked they couldn’t be together. And right now he’d certainly like to be sucked.

Monica squeezed his girth, reminding him of Peri’s long digits. He pretended her caresses belonged to his angel. Through closed lids, he replayed how Peri took him down her graceful throat.

Fuck.

He clutched the dark waves of her hair as she bowed to his zipper. He wanted to fuck her mouth and petite body until he couldn’t feel. Fuck the pain away. He pried her hands from his groin.

Monica glanced up at him, her almond-shaped eyes round.

“I’m sorry. This is a mistake.” He started to rise.

She grabbed his arm. “Talk to me Jax.”

He slumped against the pillows. “It’s complicated.”

“Oh, no it’s not, Jax Taylor. You’re in love.” She grinned.

Guess he was human after all.

* * * *

After twenty minutes of advice, he didn’t ask for, or necessarily want, from a woman he’d turned down, Jax wondered what the hell was wrong with him. Why had Monica suddenly gone all sisterly on him?

Back at his condo, he walked past the broken glass to his bedroom and drew open the closet door, double-checking his dress uniform for tomorrow’s funeral.

From the wood box where he kept his bars and pins, he retrieved his oldest Trident pin. SEALs called them the Budweiser. This one he’d received upon completion of BUD/S school and it meant the most. He left it out with his dress blues.

Peri had offered to fly out when he’d finally called her yesterday. Hell, she probably couldn’t have gotten a flight anyway. And wasn’t that why he hadn’t called her sooner?

He sat on his bed and fell back, rubbing his temples. He didn’t deserve to have her comfort. Sam’s family didn’t have him for theirs. He never wanted Peri to be in the same situation. Going to his funeral.

Yet, Monica’s words scalded his chest like one hundred fifty proof liquor. “You’re in love, Jax Taylor.”

Peri’s hands trembled while clicking her seatbelt in place. With TJ’s help, she managed to secure a flight with only one stop to make California in time. The plane descended while she second-guessed surprising Jax.

Would he be upset by her coming? He’d told her he was fine and he didn’t see the point of her leaving Haley or the Trident, but he never said no.

As soon as the plane touched down, she sent a text to the number TJ had given her. A wife of a SEAL on another team who was deployed should be waiting. Already dressed for the funeral, Peri grabbed her carry-on, her only luggage, and made her way off the plane. The last thing she wanted was to make her ride late.

Exiting to the terminal gate, she walked slowly, scanning the multitude of signs. She smiled at the one printed in red.
Jax’s
Peri
with a heart as the apostrophe. She’d never seen their names together. Whether it would prove true remained to be seen. Her name beside his made her smile just the same. “Hi, I’m Peri.”

“Emily.” A petite brunette extended her hand. She wore high heel, strappy black sandals, a style Peri wished she could wear without being taller than most men.

“I can’t thank you enough.”

“Not a problem. My husband and TJ trained together. Last year, TJ let us stay at his place for a week’s vacation in Virginia Beach while he and his girlfriend were away.” She started walking. “We’ll get your bags and head for the cemetery.”

“This is my only luggage.” She glanced to the small rolling suitcase. “Did I make you miss the church service?” Her stomach dropped, worried she’d put the woman out.

“Sam didn’t want one.” Emily gave her a sad smile.

Once on the monster interstate, Peri appreciated TJ hooking her up with a ride. Even with a GPS, she wouldn’t have attempted the drive. “Don’t know how you drive these super highways.”

“At least it’s moving today.” She whipped the compact hybrid into another lane, pushing the speedometer past seventy-five.

Cruising between two tractor-trailers felt like racing through a mountain ravine. What Peri would give to be in the big truck Jax rented on their Outer Banks trip. A few miles later, she sighed in relief when Emily swerved onto an exit ramp.

“So you met Jax a few months ago?”

“Yeah, he landed in Virginia Beach for a few days of leave after being in the Middle East. Walked into my bar and…” She stopped before saying he passed out behind her establishment.

“You’re a bartender.”

“Co-owner. A friend and I operate a place catering to military.”

“Wow, I admire you for taking such a risk.” She accelerated into a faster moving lane.

Peri never considered the tavern a risk. Not compared to the deadly ten-lane interstate Emily had just navigated. “So how long has your husband been on the teams?”

“Going on five years. No kids yet, but I’m hoping,” she answered, patting her flat belly.

“My baby is going on sixteen,” Peri replied.

Emily braked for the light and dipped her head, gazing over her shades. “No way.”

At least she didn’t look too old for Jax to this young woman. Grateful for the compliment, she nodded with a smile.

“Well, from what I hear, Jax is serious. You ready to start again?”

Peri’s stomach dipped and not from Emily’s weaving through traffic. Was she? Wait… “Who says?”

“The guys. He’s not on the hunt. Supposedly, he’s refused offers when they’ve been out partying.”

“He doesn’t know I’m coming.” She smoothed the skirt of her dress.

“I gathered.” She smiled.

“His reaction will tell me if what you hear is true.”

“Well, I’ll be sure to be watching. Maybe it’ll keep me from bawling my eyes out. It’s tough knowing it could have easily been my man. Sam’s death hurts all of us.” She turned into the entrance of the cemetery. Rows of vehicles lined the small lanes. After parking, Emily cut the engine and touched her shoulder. “It’s not an easy life, Peri.”

“I know.” She blinked away tears and adjusted her sunglasses.

* * * *

Jax parked his four-by-four pick-up truck at the end of the lane at the cemetery. He grabbed his cover from the seat and slid out. In the uniform, the afternoon heat stifled him like a blanket. He adjusted the cap’s brim to shield his eyes.

He made his way to the canopy with sweat trailing between his shoulder blades. He would have happily bled instead to pay his last respects. On the way, he encountered several of his team members. Their wives gathered while his SEAL brothers stood behind the seating for the family.

As more people arrived, he gave up hope. Peri didn’t even know the location of the service or his apartment. Jax focused on the priest’s words as the funeral began.

The scene took him back to his father’s funeral. He’d been accepted into BUD/S when he’d received word. Hurt and anger over his father’s drowning made him more determined to succeed in the teams.

Peri said she felt his father somehow knew he’d become a SEAL. He took her words to heart when not even his mother had offered such consolation. Life was so short and unpredictable. Lying to himself about his feelings for Peri didn’t change the truth. He was totally in love with her and needed to tell her. He’d be crushed if she didn’t feel the same, but he had to know.

He bowed his head with the others. He prayed for Sam, his family, and the woman he loved.

Sam’s wife plucked a red rose from a stand of flowers and laid it on top of the casket. The team’s CO punched his BUD/S pin into the oak casket first and the remaining SEAL operators lined up and followed suit. Jax slammed his palm onto his pin, securing it next to the others and stepped away. He swallowed hard over the boulder in his throat.

Movement from behind forced him to glance back. A long, cool woman in a black dress raised her sunglasses. She was the perfect image for the classic rock song. Her doe-like eyes hinted at apprehension.

He smiled and drew her into his arms. “Angel,” he whispered against her ear.

She melted against him.

He didn’t want to let go but needed to be alone with her. She accepted his possessive claim on her lower back as he led her from the crowd. He’d checked his overwhelming urge to maul her with a kiss that would have been inappropriate where they were and given every guy on teams something to remind him about until he retired.

At his truck, he faced her. “Thanks for coming.”

“I’m so sorry, Jax.” Tears gathered, threatening to spill down her beautiful cheeks.

God help him if she cried. “How’d you get here?” He glanced around the cemetery. “Do you have a rental?”

“Lord, no. Emily picked me up from the airport.”

“Brad’s Emily?”

“She didn’t mention his name. Only he’s deployed.” She touched Jax’s ribbon bar. “So handsome.”

“So sexy.” His gaze wandered down her lithe figure, enhanced by the simple black dress.