Sanders 01 - Silent Run (14 page)

“That's your name,” the woman replied, the smile on her face slowly fading. Her eyes narrowed. “What's going on? Your face is all bruised and cut up."

“I was in a car accident. But you know me, right? You know who I am. What's my name -- my whole name?"

“Samantha Blake. Why are you acting so weird?"

“I have amnesia. I have no memory of who I am or where I live, and most important, I don't know where my daughter is. If you know me, you must know Caitlyn."

“Katie?” the woman asked, her glance flickering back and forth between Jake and Sarah. “Wow, this is so crazy. You're saying you don't remember me or anything?"

Sarah shook her head. “No, I don't. I'm sorry. Can you tell me your name and how I know you?"

“I'm Amanda Cooper. I've lived next door to you for the past four months. That's your apartment, three-oh-four.” Amanda paused. “How did you get here if you didn't know where you lived?"

“The car I was driving was registered to a woman named Margaret Bradley, and this was her last address,” Sarah answered.

“Right.” Amanda shot Jake a suspicious look. “Who are you? I've never seen you before."

“Jake Sanders. I lived with Sarah for two years before she ran out on me with my daughter seven months ago."

Shock flashed in Amanda's eyes. She reached behind her for the door handle, as if she wanted to be ready to slam the door in their faces. “I'm going to call the police."

“Wait, why?” Sarah asked.

Amanda hesitated. “You should come inside, Samantha. And you should wait out here, Mr. Sanders."

“She's not going anywhere without me.” Jake took hold of Sarah's arm, as if he couldn't trust her not to leave him behind.

Sarah didn't attempt to pull away. “Did I tell you about Jake?” she asked Amanda.

“You told me that there was a guy you were afraid of, someone who might hurt you or Katie."

“That wasn't me,” Jake said firmly. “Sarah was never afraid of me. I did nothing but take care of her, protect her and my daughter. She was running from someone else."

Amanda frowned. “Why do you keep calling her Sarah when her name is Samantha?"

“When I knew her, she went by the name Sarah Tucker,” Jake replied.

Amanda hesitated and then turned to Sarah. “I wish I knew what you would want me to do if you could remember your life."

“Jake is okay,” Sarah said. “I feel I can trust him.” She'd intended to say the words only in order to stop Amanda from calling the police, because instinctively she believed that calling the police was a bad idea and would only complicate matters. But as she spoke she found herself actually believing she could trust Jake. He wasn't going to hurt her. He wasn't the bad guy. Somewhere in her head, and probably more in her heart, she knew that. “I trust him,” she repeated more firmly.

Jake's gaze met hers, and she saw something in his eyes that she couldn't define. She didn't know if he was pleased by her declaration or wondering whether or not she was trying to play him again. Not that it mattered. She was in the building where she'd lived. There had to be clues to her past here.

“I want to go to my apartment,” she said. “But I don't have a key."

“I have one,” Amanda replied. “Are you sure you don't want me to call the police? You were really scared the other night when that guy tried to get in the elevator with you. You told me that someone wanted to kill you, that you were in terrible danger."

Sarah's nerves tightened. Her memory of the elevator had been true and very recent. Maybe she was on her way to remembering everything. “Did I say who was after me?"

“A man from your past. And here you are with a man from your past."

“It wasn't Jake,” Sarah said quickly.

“Was Sarah actually physically attacked?” Jake asked.

Amanda looked from Sarah to Jake, then back at Sarah again, obviously not sure how much to reveal. Finally she said, “No. Mr. Harrington, a tenant on the first floor, ran the guy off."

“Did I call the police?” Sarah asked.

“You refused. I couldn't change your mind."

“Where was Caitlyn? Was she with me?"

“No, I was watching her while you ran to the store,” Amanda said. “She was fine."

Sarah let out a breath of relief. “What happened after that? Did the guy come back?"

“Not that I know of. I called you later that night, and you told me everything was fine, but you might take Katie and go away for a few days to visit some relatives."

“When exactly was that?"

“Tuesday. Wednesday morning when I knocked on your door you didn't answer."

“Weren't you worried about her?” Jake challenged.

“Of course I was,” Amanda said defensively. Looking back at Sarah she said, “I called your cell phone, but it went to voice mail. I called the place where you work, but they said you weren't scheduled to be there, so I assumed you'd left town."

“I didn't say where my relatives lived?"

“No. You were very cagey about your past."

“So I left Wednesday morning and went somewhere,” Sarah murmured, her initial hope beginning to fade again. “Where did you say I worked?"

“For a janitorial service, cleaning commercial office buildings at night. The name of the company is Gold Star Cleaners. It's over on Fifth Street, a few miles from here."

“Who watched Caitlyn for Sarah when she was at work?” Jake asked.

Amanda hesitated. She seemed more willing to answer Sarah's questions than Jake's. “Sarah took Katie along with her. It was night, and no one cared if Katie slept in her car seat while Sarah cleaned. She said it was a perfect setup. No one was around when she did her job, and she didn't have to pay for a babysitter."

It was also a great job for someone who wanted to live in the shadows, Sarah thought. Since she'd left Jake, she'd lived like a ghost in the night.

“And she never told you anything about me -- the father of her child?” Jake asked, his voice edged with impatience and frustration.

“She didn't say one word about you. I thought you were probably the one she was running from, some kind of abusive boyfriend or husband situation. Maybe that's still the case, and she just doesn't remember."

Amanda's challenging statement hung in the air between them.

“That's not what went down,” Jake said. “I didn't hurt Sarah. She left of her own free will."

Amanda didn't look convinced, but Sarah didn't have time to wait for Amanda to trust Jake. “I have to find Caitlyn,” she said, bringing the conversation back to the single most important truth. “I must have left her somewhere, and I need to figure out where."

“Maybe with those relatives you mentioned,” Amanda said. “Where did you have your accident? That could be a clue."

“Up north, about two hours from here, by Santa Barbara.” As she answered the question, Sarah wondered if she'd made a mistake coming to LA. Instead of getting closer to her daughter, she might be even farther away. “Caitlyn could still be up there somewhere,” she said to Jake.

“Maybe, but we need to check your apartment. There could be a clue there that will lead us in another direction."

“I didn't realize you'd gone so far away,” Amanda said thoughtfully.

“I guess that means I didn't tell you about any place I knew of up north?” Sarah asked.

“You once said you loved San Francisco. Perhaps you were going there."

“That's where she was with me,” Jake said.

Had she been running back to Jake and just hadn't made it? But no, Caitlyn hadn't been in the car. Would she have gone to Jake without their daughter? That didn't seem right.

“I wish I could help.” Amanda offered her a compassionate smile. “I feel so bad that you don't know where Katie is. You must be dying inside. You love that kid more than life."

“I am dying.” Sarah swallowed hard, a knot of emotion choking her throat. Amanda was the first person who'd actually felt empathy for her situation that was not tainted by anger or a sense of betrayal. It was nice to know that not everyone hated her, and some people actually knew she was a good mother. It helped to rekindle her faith in herself. “I can't stand not knowing where Caitlyn is. I have to find her. I have to make sure she's all right."

“I'm sure she's safe. You're a really good mother. You must have left Katie with someone you trust."

“I hope so. Can I have the key to my apartment, please?"

“All right."

“Wait,” Sarah said quickly. There was something about the look in Amanda's eye that bothered her. “Don't call the police, okay?"

“Samantha, you need professional help.” Amanda dropped her voice a notch as she added, “And you don't know who this guy is. He could be anyone."

“The police up in Santa Barbara know I'm with him, and they checked him out,” Sarah answered.

“If anything happens to me, they know I'm with him. I don't want to slow things down by having to explain the situation over again to someone new."

“All right. I won't call the cops -- yet -- but I reserve the right to change my mind. Wait here and I'll get you the key."

Amanda disappeared into her apartment, shutting the door in their faces, leaving Sarah and Jake alone in the hall.

Sarah wrapped her arms around her waist as a chill ran through her. It was a warm day outside, but in this dark hallway, the corridor to her past, it was cold and a little scary. Was she ready for the truth? Or had her brain shut down because she couldn't handle it?

“I can't believe you traded what we had for this place,” Jake muttered, digging his hands into his pockets as he gazed down the narrow hallway. “Whatever trouble you were in, you should have come to me. I would have done anything for you. I would have protected you. You didn't have to run to the other end of the state, take a job cleaning toilets at night, and drag my daughter around deserted office buildings so you could make a buck. If you didn't want to stay with me, you should have left Caitlyn behind."

She didn't know what to say to him. His words made perfect sense. Her actions didn't. But she obviously hadn't believed that he could protect her, or she wouldn't have run. If she was afraid for him, and was trying to save him from the danger that followed her, why would she have kept Caitlyn with her, exposed to potential harm? She couldn't answer that question either. She couldn't explain her actions to Jake, because she didn't understand them. Until she did it was pointless to try to justify her behavior.

“I have to believe that I made the right choice for my daughter,” she said. “You want me to trust you, Jake, but I also have to trust myself. I don't think I'm a bad person. I have to go with my instincts. That's all I have."

Before Jake could reply, Amanda opened the door and handed Sarah a key. “I'd love to go with you, but I have to go to work. I teach a lunchtime aerobics class. I'll come back right after class, but before I leave, tell me what else I can do to help you, Samantha."

Sarah couldn't get used to hearing herself being called Samantha. Sarah felt more real to her, more true. She wondered if either of them was her real name. “What can you tell me about Mrs. Bradley?"

“You used to get her groceries, and she loved Katie. You visited her a few times in the rest home, and then she died. She gave you her car because she hated to see you taking the bus."

“Who lives in Mrs. Bradley's apartment?” Sarah asked.

“A single guy. I don't know his name. He's never around. He's in his forties. I don't believe you knew him, although I can't say for sure."

“Has there been anyone else around here looking for Sarah or Samantha?” Jake asked. “In fact, let's go back to the guy in the elevator. What did he look like?"

“Samantha saw him; I didn't,” Amanda replied. “She told me he had one of those beanies on his head and a sweatshirt with a hood, like the teenagers wear. He was white, I think... .” Amanda paused. “I don't recall anyone else coming by in the past few days. At least, no one knocked on my door. And while we were friends, you were really private. You didn't confide in me much."

Amanda sounded a bit resentful about her lack of sharing. Sarah wondered just how close they'd been. “Did I have any hobbies? Anyplace I went on a regular basis besides my job? Like a gym? You said you teach aerobics. Did I take your class?"

“No, you didn't want to leave Katie in child care. And you said you didn't have the cash to join the gym.” She shrugged. “You did the usual stuff, went to the supermarket, the park, that kind of thing. I guess that's not very helpful."

“Where's the park?” Jake asked.

“It's about three blocks from here, toward the beach, on Jenner Street. Maybe you talked to some of the moms at the park,” Amanda said with a new light in her eyes. “You did go there almost every morning."

“Thanks. That helps."

Amanda turned to go back into her apartment, then stopped. “You also liked photography. I thought you were really good, that you could make money at it if you wanted, but you said no. Once, I took you to an art gallery on Windham Place a few blocks from here -- my friend Peter runs it -- and I showed him some of your work, but as soon as we got close, you bolted. You told me to mind my own business and you wouldn't go in. I thought it was kind of weird at the time.” She gave Sarah an odd look. “None of this rings a bell?"

“I wish it did."

“Well, my phone numbers are on the bulletin board in your kitchen. Call me if you need me."

“Thanks.” Sarah headed down the hall to her apartment and slid her key into the lock, feeling a momentary sense of trepidation, but she pushed past it. This was her home. She had to go inside. As she opened the door she wondered if the memories would suddenly come flooding back, if fireworks would go off in her head, but when she walked into the room she felt absolutely nothing.