Authors: Barbara Erskine
Tags: #Fiction, #Short Stories, #Short Stories (Single Author), #General
‘Francis!’ She stood staring down at him. He was sitting up now, his face white, his teeth chattering, his expression mirroring hers: relief and love, then wariness and last of all, fear. ‘Maddy! I thought you’d gone. The boat sank. I was trying to follow you.’
There was a long silence, then, suddenly she had to tell them the truth. ‘We were going to run away together. To France. To a new life where no one would know –’ Without realising it she had rested her hand on her stomach. Ralph, following the gesture with his eyes saw the slight swelling as the wind and rain flattened her gown against her belly. His eyes widened incredulously. ‘You are with child?’ The fury in his voice was vicious. ‘You, my wife, are carrying my brother’s child?’
‘Ralph –’ Francis had scrambled to his feet, throwing off the cloaks which had been wrapped round him. ‘Listen, brother, you must not blame her!’
‘Must I not?’ The wind was whipping away their words as they confronted one another, shouting. ‘Then who do I blame? My own impotence, perhaps, or you, who in your generosity, came to her aid?’
The men with them had drawn back out of earshot, muttering uneasily, glancing from one man to the other, then surreptitiously at Maddy.
Tears poured down her cheeks. ‘Ralph! Francis – ’
They ignored her. This was men’s business.
Slowly she turned towards the sea.
Behind her, Ralph stepped forward. He laid hold of his brother’s shirt and pulled him close, glaring.
The cold of the waves snatched her breath away. She took one step, then another, staggering under the power of the water. There could be no looking back. When at last the waves swept her off her feet she held out her arms to embrace the water as though it were the lover she had found such a short time before and now irretrievably lost.
At first Alex thought she was hiding. He hunted for her, laughing while the tea grew cold. Then he sat down on the bottom step of the staircase and put his head in his hands. His initial emotions – puzzlement, curiosity, even bewildered anger, had been replaced by just one. Fear.
He glanced at his watch. At last it was growing light.
It took only three minutes to put on his shoes and find his car keys. At least, touring the streets, he would be doing something. Supposing she was sleepwalking? The front door was locked, their keys still there on the sideboard, but supposing she had somehow found a spare front door key, opened the door, relocked it? Supposing she had walked out into the moonlight barefoot – her slippers were still where she had kicked them the night before, under the bed. Supposing she had walked, still fast asleep, down the road, silent and empty in the pre-dawn dark, through the village and out into the network of lanes between the moors and the sea.
He turned out of their road and into the next, putting the lights on full beam, scanning the hedgerows with their strange irregular shadows.
‘She’s gone, Francis!’ The voice was in the car with him.
Alex slammed on the brakes. The engine stalled and in the sudden silence Alex found himself holding his breath as he stared ahead at the deserted road. He groped for the ignition.
‘Look! There. In the sea!’
Icy perspiration drenched his shoulders as Alex’s hand fell away from the key.
‘Quickly man, if you love her!’
The sea? How could Rachel have reached the sea? It was three, four, miles away. Almost in a daze he groped in the glove pocket and reached for the mobile. Rachel’s friend Susie lived by the sea. On the esplanade, in a small pink cottage, idyllic in summer, in winter soused in spray and reverberating to icy winds.
‘Yes, I know what time it is!’ The line crackled; the battery was very low. ‘Please, Susie, go and look. I beg you. I’m on my way.’ He was sobbing as the connection went dead.
‘Maddy!’ The voice was lost in the rush of wind and tide. ‘Maddy, come back!’
The instinct to swim was too strong. She flailed out wildly with her arms and legs, feeling the entangling skirts pulling her down.
‘Francis!’ The water was in her mouth, her eyes, her nose. ‘Francis –’ A wave caught her and lifted her, sucking her back towards the beach, closing over her head as she felt the sudden rasp of sharp stones beneath her feet. She scrabbled frantically for a hold and lost it again and then her head was above the water and she saw them near her, both of them, her husband and his brother, struggling through the waves towards her.
‘Maddy! Hold on! Hold on, my love.’ It was Ralph. He was close to her now. She could see his head on the smooth green pillow of water. She could see his hand stretched out towards her, so close she could almost touch him. Beyond him, further out in the tide race she could see Francis. He was swimming desperately.
‘Francis!’ Her scream was cut short by the wave. She felt it close over her and pull her down. In the green depths it was quiet, strangely peaceful. She could see Francis now, near her. He was smiling, holding out his arms …
‘Rachel! For Christ’s sake, Rachel, breathe!’
Someone was thumping her back. She felt herself slither on the pebbles and suddenly she was bitterly cold. Retching frantically she managed a breath, then another as she pulled herself onto her elbows.
‘Thank God!’ There was a blanket round her now, and arms, hugging, shaking. ‘Rachel, what on earth were you doing?’
It was Susie, a raincoat over her nightdress, her bare feet pushed into heavy shoes, her long hair loose and wet, strung over her shoulders. ‘I couldn’t believe it when I saw you. I couldn’t.’ She was pulling at her. ‘Come on, up. You’ve got to stand. You’ve got to come inside.’ The beach was deserted, lit by a cold light reflecting on the clouds from the sun still below the horizon. ‘Come on!’
Rachel staggered to her feet and somehow Susie managed to lead her up the beach across the narrow road and into the cottage. Out of the wind it was eerily quiet.
‘Save the explanations. Strip off those clothes and put on my dressing gown.’ Susie pushed her onto the sofa and heaped rugs and cushions round her.
‘What happened?’ Rachel took the proffered hot water bottle and hugged it to her. Her teeth were chattering.
‘Don’t ask me. You were the one in the sea!’ Susie threw driftwood from a basket onto fire lighters and watched it blaze up. ‘Where’s Alex? He rang me then we were cut off.’
‘Alex’s in bed. We were both in bed –’ Rachel was crying suddenly. ‘Susie – ’
‘I think I’d better phone for an ambulance – ’
‘No! No, don’t do that. I’m fine. I want Alex.’ Tears were streaming down Rachel’s face. ‘I don’t understand. It was a dream.’
‘A dream?’ Susie echoed. ‘That’s what you said before. A man on a beach.’
‘Francis.’ Rachel nodded slowly in confusion. ‘He was called Francis. And the sea took him.’ Her voice broke. ‘His brother Ralph was there. He tried to follow Francis. He tried to catch hold of him but he had gone.’ She sat up, pushing her wet hair out of her eyes. ‘He was very kind. He let them think the child was his,’ she went on urgently, suddenly clutching at Susie’s hand. ‘He raised her. He loved her as his own. No one ever knew. But he never forgave Maddy. Never.’
Behind them the door opened and Alex peered in. They hadn’t heard his car draw up outside for the roar of the fire in the chimney. In two strides he was on his knees by the sofa. ‘What happened? You’re all wet! For God’s sake! What happened, Susie?’
‘You tell me.’ Susie shrugged. ‘You rang, Alex. You told me what to do.’
Rachel stared at him. She freed her hand from the cocoon of blankets and reached out to touch his face. ‘How did you know where I was, Alex?’
‘There was a voice – in the car.’ Alex shook his head uncomfortably, clearly embarrassed. ‘It said you were in the sea.’
Quickly man, if you love her!
Rachel was frowning. ‘I remember you getting up. You went downstairs to get tea, then suddenly I was in the water –’ She pulled one of the cushions to her and hugged it desperately. ‘I must be going mad.’
‘If you are, Rachel, so are the rest of us,’ Susie put in gently. There was a long silence. She was frowning. ‘I think Rachel has had a glimpse into the past.’ She looked at them both and shrugged. ‘It breaks all the rules of time and space that you and I were taught at school, but it doesn’t mean we’re mad. I think we are privileged.’
Scrambling to her feet she turned back to the fire. ‘It occurs to me,’ she said, looking down into the flames, ‘from what you said, Rachel, that this is really all about a baby.’ She paused and turned round. ‘You’re not pregnant, are you?’
The question had come out of the blue. Alex gasped. He turned to his wife, scanning her face.
She bit her lip. ‘I haven’t had a test, but I’ve been wondering – ’
‘Rachel’ Alex leaned forward and hugged her. ‘Oh my darling, that’s wonderful!’
‘But we hadn’t planned – ’
‘It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters but that you’re safe.’
‘You mean it, Alex?’ Rachel clutched his hand. ‘You really don’t mind?’
‘Of course I don’t mind. Sweetheart, we’ll manage. We always have.’ He leaned forward and kissed her then he turned to Susie. ‘How did you know?’
Susie smiled and shrugged. ‘I guessed.’ There was a short silence, then she broke suddenly into giggles. ‘Sorry, but if we look for a rational explanation for any of this we won’t find it. You know my philosophy of life. I’ve always thought that we question too much. You can’t spend the rest of your lives worrying about something you will never ever be able to explain.’ She bent to throw some driftwood onto the fire. ‘Time for a hot drink. Then later I suggest Rachel goes to see the doctor so that at least you know that for sure.’
‘If I am pregnant and it’s a girl I want to call her Maddy.’ Rachel lay back frowning. She was staring into the distance. ‘You know what I think? I think this is my opportunity to put the past right. I – we’ve been given a second chance. But why?’ She turned to look at Susie by the fire. ‘Why me? Why Alex?’
Susie shook her head. ‘Why not? All that matters is that the three of us know that in our very ordinary lives in our very ordinary world a small miracle has happened and that you are happy about it.’
Rachel squeezed Alex’s hand. ‘OK?’ she whispered.
He nodded. ‘OK. When I think how I nearly lost you –’ He shuddered.
‘But you didn’t.’ Rachel smiled.
‘I think you’ve found each other,’ Susie put in quietly. ‘I think you’ve found each other after what is possibly a very long time!’
It was Doreen Oldfield who first realised there was a problem. A group of strangers was standing the other side of her garden fence staring along it towards the field. One of them held a map in his hand. He spotted her as she limped across her back garden towards them.
‘Excuse me,’ he called. ‘Where is the path?’
‘It’s up on the far side of the post office.’ Doreen stared beadily at them. She didn’t smile. She didn’t know them.
‘No.’ The man stabbed at the map with his forefinger. ‘It’s here. I’m standing on it.’
‘Why ask then?’ She glared at him.
‘Because it’s too overgrown to use, and I can’t see where it goes from here. According to the map it should go straight across the field.’
Doreen sighed. ‘Maps!’ she said in disgust. ‘You don’t want to pay any attention to them things. No one uses that path nowadays. It’s moved. It goes along the edge over there.’ She waved her arm vaguely. ‘Has done since they had the hedges out after the war. This one doesn’t exist any more.’
They did not listen. Before her outraged eyes the group set off. Forcing their way through the undergrowth, they headed out into the middle of the field, beating a way through the lush corn with their walking sticks.
It was the first hint of the war to come.
The footpath did indeed in theory run between Doreen’s cottage and the side garden at Copthorne’s. Bordered on one side by a magnificent laurel hedge and on the other by Doreen’s rickety picket fence with several slats missing it was now overgrown with brambles and nettles. Unpopular with people in the village and seldom if ever used by any but the local boys on their mountain bikes and the occasional horse rider, it had all but disappeared because of the broad pleasant track everyone liked much better a hundred yards up the road. That path was a popular route into the fields and woods. Dog walkers used it, and local people going for an afternoon stroll, and kids wanting to sneak into the old farm buildings behind Osbecks. Over the years the path had moved. It was as simple as that.