Sarah's Heart (20 page)

He sighed. “Why am I
always apologizing to you? It seems I can’t do anything right where you’re
concerned.” He shoved the money across to her. “Here, just take it and do what
you will.” He fished in his breast pocket and produced a piece of paper. “Sign
this and return it to me at your convenience.” And then ignoring her, he lifted
a forkful of potatoes to his mouth.

Sarah stood, stuffed
the bills into her pocket and carried her dishes to the sideboard. Why was she
being so rude? She turned, planning her words. Admitting to being wrong wasn’t
easy for her. “I’m sorry I snapped at you. Here you are being so nice and all…
Please forgive me, Jonathan.”

He held his coffee
cup midair. “Apology accepted, Miss Collins. You’d better hurry and get your
shopping done… that is if you still want to accompany me this morning.”

“Of course I do.”
She smiled. “I’ll be back soon.” Spinning on her heel, she bolted out the
kitchen door.

Her nose filled with
the stench of fresh horse manure mixed with dust from the street. The assailing
fog cleared by the time she sauntered past the wagon shop, replaced by the
smell of freshly sawed wood. Next door, the aroma of alfalfa drifted from the
bales stacked inside the hauling company’s door. Ahead of her, the town square
loomed large. The courthouse stood in the center where four streets
intersected. She’d caught a brief look at the brick building when she and Wolf
sped by. Now she stood and admired its majesty, clearly the most elegant
building she’d ever seen. Its white framed windows, large arched door and
spiral on the roof set it apart from all others.

“Excuse me, sir,”
she called to a passing stranger. “Could you point me in the direction of the
mercantile?”

He eyed her
skeptically. “Just turn to your right and go ‘bout six doors down.”

“Thank you for your
kindness.” Sarah hastened in that direction. Her excitement grew like a
wildfire, the moment she placed her hand on the doorknob.

Just like the
boarding house, a bell on the opening door tinkled to announce a customer.
Sarah entered, catching a whiff of fresh apples in a barrel near the door. Next
to them, a saddle draped across a wooden stand brought back unpleasant memories
and caused her to pucker her face. She’d have no need of one of those leather
contraptions again.

“May I help you?” A
round-faced clerk at the counter near the back stopped what he was doing. His
cursory assessment of her resulted in a subtle eye roll. She didn’t miss it.

“I’d just like to
look, if you don’t mind.”

“Take your time. I’m
here if you need me.” He turned and resumed stacking cans on the wall behind
him.

 
Bolts of cloth and ribbon rolls lined a table
on one side of the room, amidst racks of dresses already sewn and ready for
sale. Clearly, viewing the woman’s part of the store, she glanced across the
aisle. Tools of every size and shape leaned or hung on the opposite wall, with
ropes, lanterns, and men’s wear displayed as well. She patted her pocket,
assured that her money remained safe then turned her attention back to her
wardrobe needs.

The door tinkled
again. A smartly dressed older lady sauntered in. “Good Morning, Clarence.” She
gave a haughty wave of her lace handkerchief. “Did that special gown I ordered
come in yet?

“Sorry,
Mrs. Goodwin, not yet.
I
expect it any day though.” He ceased working, wiped his hands on his apron and
hurried from behind the counter.

“Honestly,” she
tutted, tucking her hanky back inside her sleeve. “You realize the social is
just a few weeks away? A body just can’t depend on people anymore.” She walked
to the rack of dresses where Sarah stood.

Clarence followed
behind like a loyal pet. “I’m sure it will be here in time, Mrs. Goodwin. I do
hope you‘ll overlook the slight delay. In the meanwhile, can I help you find
something? You know you’re one of my most valued customers.”

She motioned him
away with a fling of her hand. “Oh, don’t be a bother. Just go back to whatever
you were doing. I’m quite capable of looking about without you shadowing me.”

Stopping at the
table where Sarah stood, the woman fingered an array of ribbons.

Sarah smiled at her.
“Good morning. I couldn’t help but overhear your mention of an upcoming
social….”

The matron peered
down her angular nose. “Yes, it’s a yearly affair, but…” Her cold, gaze raked
over Sarah’s attire. “Surely you aren’t inquiring for yourself. It’s usually
only attended by those able to dress for the occasion.”

 
Sarah gasped at the woman’s rudeness, but
wasn’t about to let it pass. Cocking her head, hands on her hips, Sarah drew up
to her full height. “Oh, then there’s no worry. My mother taught me to dress
myself when I was quite young. She also taught me not to be rude to my elders,
so I’ll overlook the fact that you’re a snobbish old biddy.”Surprised by her
own outburst, Sarah stared at the woman with wide eyes, waiting for a response.
None came.

With mouth agape,
the older woman huffed out of the store. Sarah went back to perusing the
dresses and heard Clarence chuckling behind the counter. She giggled, too,
pleased that she’d stood up for herself. People who judged others by their
appearance deserved the same disrespect.

Pausing in thought,
she drew her knuckle between her lips. She’d just experienced a small taste of
what Wolf dealt with every day.

“Oh, there I go
again,” Sarah muttered, thumping her palm against the side of her head. “Why
can’t I stop thinking of him?”

Shaking her thoughts
aside, she inspected each dress she slid across the rack. It took time, but
Sarah selected four new ones, a few matching ribbons, an assortment of
undergarments, some stockings, a nightdress, and a new pair of shoes.
Calculating the cost in her head of everything she’d piled on the counter, she
crossed to the far wall and returned with the stylish new bonnet she coveted
and a small bottle of lemon verbena. Jonathan’s loan was generous and she’d
have a little left over.

The clerk peered
over his spectacles at her, a smile broadening his face. “It looks like you
found everything you needed.”

“Yes, thank you. I
was surprised to discover such a wonderful assortment of dresses. I feared I
might end up searching for someone to make them.”

“Well, we aim to
please.” He tied her purchases into bundles, collected his money, and pushed
the packages toward her. “Do come again.”

With Sarah’s arms
overloaded, he followed her to the door and let her out. The bell jingled.
“Have a nice day, Miss…and thanks for….” He chuckled again.

She glanced back.
“It was my pleasure, believe me.”

Sarah peered around
the load she carried, careful to watch her step. Her heart fluttered at the
thought of getting out of her ill-fitting, unsuitable clothing and into
something more befitting a lady. Pants had been the perfect attire for riding
astride, but with any luck she’d never have to do that again. Her extended arms
ached beneath the packages she carried, and she breathed a sign of relief at
passing the freight company. She was almost back to the boarding house.

Maggie spied her
while collecting laundry from the clotheslines in the side yard.
“Lordy, girl, looks like you bought out the store.
C’mon in the back way.”

Once inside, Sarah
dumped her load onto the table, took a breath, and shook her cramping arms. “I
feel like I’ve carried an anvil.”

“Then how about
something light, like a cup of tea?”

“I’d love a quick
one, but then I’ve got to get changed. I’m supposed to meet Jonathan this morning.”

Maggie put the
kettle on the stove to heat. “Wolf tells me you’re in a little bit of a bind at
the moment. I promised him I’d look after you and told him we’d work out
financial arrangements that’ll allow you to stay for as long as you need.”

Sarah gulped. What
must Maggie think?
Especially after seeing Jonathan’s offer
of money.
“Maggie, how can you be so nice to me? I should have explained
my financial situation myself and asked for your help. It wasn’t Wolf’s place.”
Her shoulders sagging, she massaged the bridge of her nose. “I’m afraid I was
too embarrassed to be honest with you. The money you saw Jonathan give me this
morning was a loan so that I could buy these new clothes.” Sarah patted one of
the bundles on the table. “I have to find a job, and I’m pretty certain no one
is going to hire me looking like this.” She tore into the packages and draped
the dresses over a chair for Maggie to see. “Aren’t they lovely?”

The kettle whistled
and Maggie poured tea through a strainer into delicate china cups. She balanced
two of them and waddled to the table. “I’m sure you’ll look stunnin’ in any one
of them.”

“You must think me
shallow, talking only about myself. I’d like to assure you that I’m very
responsible and will be very happy to do my share around here. I have a few
dollars left in my room upstairs from the previous sale of my possessions in Hannibal, and the rest of
what I borrowed from Jonathan is here in my pocket. I’ll give you what I have
with a promise to pay regularly as soon as I find employment, if you‘ll be kind
enough to keep me on.”

Maggie reached
across the table and patted Sarah’s hand. “I never had a bad thought about you,
dear. I’ve learned that if Wolf likes someone, they are usually above reproach.
You’re welcome for as long as you need to stay. Now sit down and enjoy your
tea.”

* * *

Sarah whisked her
full skirt back and forth while spinning in a circle. She paused in front of
the mirror and stood on tiptoes, trying to take in as much of her image as
possible. The blue gingham dress with bell sleeves, fitted cuffs and a high
collar suited her perfectly. It would do nicely for a buggy ride and lunch at
the hotel. Hopefully, Jonathan would agree.

She heaved a sigh,
preferring instead to be impressing Wolf. But she still inwardly fumed at him
for leaving without saying a word. Still, she wondered what he’d think of her
hair pulled back with a ribbon instead of an old piece of rawhide. Would he
like the tendrils that framed her face or notice the sweet smell of lemon
verbena she‘d dabbed behind each ear?

“Stop it, Sarah!”
She stared at her reflection. Pulling her mouth into a pout, she reminded
herself he’d made a choice and she wasn’t it. Exhaling in a loud whoosh, she
squared her shoulders and resolved to concentrate her attention on her day with
Jonathan. He was equally as handsome, fit, and at least showed interest in her.
Besides, he seemed more the type of man who could offer someone a good future.
What she felt for Wolf was only gratitude that got out of hand. At least,
that’s what she’d keep telling herself.

Slipping her feet
into her new shoes, she took a last glance in the mirror and pinched her cheeks
to give them color. She donned her new bonnet and tied the ribbon tastefully to
the side of her face, then started downstairs, holding her skirt up as she
went. Dressing like a lady again felt good

Through the front window she saw Jonathan
pull up in a buggy drawn by a dappled Gray. Her heart didn’t skip a beat nor
did her stomach flutter like it did when Wolf came into view. Sarah took a deep
breath and stepped outside, wondering why she wasn’t excited. She clung to one
positive thought: In Jonathan Montgomery’s company she was less likely to be
the target of

unwelcome
gunfire.

Sarah paused on the
walkway, pasted a smile on her face, and then glanced at Jonathan. “Good
morning. I hope I didn’t keep you waiting too long.”

 
He clambered out of the buggy and hurried
around to her side. The look on his face was one of sheer surprise, his eyes
wide and his jaw slack. “I…I…can’t believe….” His head shook slightly. “Excuse
me, I didn’t mean to indicate that….”

Sarah laughed. “It’s
all right. I even shocked myself. It is quite a transformation, isn’t it?”

He offered his arm
and she accepted it. At the buggy, she hefted her skirt and stepped up to her
seat. She smoothed her dress, wishing she could soothe the churning stomach
beneath. Earlier, she’d been filled with excitement, but now she wished she
hadn’t accepted the invitation. How could she possibly enjoy an outing with
another man when thoughts of Wolf still filled her mind? She reminded herself
that one outing didn’t constitute a relationship.

Jonathan climbed
inside, tilting the buggy beneath his weight. He settled and took the reins.
His gaze drifted to her. “Are you ready, beautiful lady?”

Her fingertips
stilled her smile. It’d been a long time since she’d gotten such a compliment.
“I believe so.”

With a flick of the
whip, the buggy lurched forward. Jonathan turned the rig around and headed in
the direction he’d come. The wheels crossed over their earlier imprints in the
dusty street.

 
The walkway ended, and instead of passing
businesses, the carriage rolled by houses, some with picket fences and patches
of green grass. She returned the friendly wave of a few people out in their
yards: a woman planted a row of flowers while a gentleman gave his gate a new
coat of whitewash.