Sara's Child (23 page)

“WHAT!”

If you have enjoyed this novel, by Susan Elle, continue turning the page to
sample a few chapters of her latest book, Tempest.

Shenna pulls into a parking space having driven on auto-pilot since she got the call on her mobile telling her that her husband has taken a turn for the worse.

If the car is locked then that had been done on auto-pilot too - Shenna doesn’t know anything other than the fact that Cade needs her, she just has to be in time.

Her feet have wings - she rounds the corner into the lift lobby and can see people waiting for the lifts to arrive. Veering off, Shenna takes the stairs even though Haematology is on the third floor. By the time she reaches the ward she is panting and trembling.

“It’s alright, Mrs Williams,” a kindly nurse that Shenna has come to know over the last weeks smiles her calming welcome and guides Shenna to a chair.

“I should get in there…see Cade…I need to tell him…I…” Shenna’s voice fades away becoming as small as she feels she is becoming.

Her wonderful husband, the man she loves with all her heart, is dying and there is nothing she can do to stop it from happening.

“Just take a breath, Mrs Williams, you look ready to collapse yourself,” the nurse observes, frowning at her gaunt face and soft green eyes that seem impossibly large and desperate. Looking up she nods at a nurse that has just exited Cade’s room and who signals to her that everything is ready. “Ok now, we’ve finished giving your husband a freshen-up and a shave,” she smiles at Shenna, a warm sympathetic but encouraging smile. “He didn’t want you to see him ‘in the rough’ he called it,” and Shenna actually manages a shaky laugh.

“That’s what he always calls it when he hasn’t shaved,” Shenna nods, “he hates going without a shave.”

Getting to their feet, Shenna and the nurse walk over to Cade’s door. “He’s alright, Shenna, we’ve increased the Morphine so that he isn’t in too much pain, but not enough to make him sleepy.” Giving Shenna’s arm a supportive squeeze, the nurse walks back to the nurses’ station and swallows back the tears that have balled up in her throat.

Shenna gives herself a mental shake and stiffens her spine. By the time she sits at Cade’s bedside her lips are wearing a convincing smile and her eyes are warm with love.

“Wow, you look as handsome as the day I met and drooled all over you at uni’,” she tells him and leans over to kiss his smiling lips.

They were holding hands and he gave hers a squeeze. “And you look every bit as beautiful as the day I first laid eyes on you - the day I tripped over my own tongue and my heart landed right at your feet.” His smile lights his eyes with remembering. “Love at first sight - I never believed in it until I saw you, then every other woman just faded away, I only ever had eyes for you, Shenna.”

“Ditto,” she tells him and draws his hand up to her lips.

“You’ll be alright, Shenna…I’ve made sure you won’t struggle financially…no listen…,” he tells her when Shenna frowns and shakes her head, “…it’s important to me that I at least take care of your financial future - I just wish I could have taken care of you in every other way, too, but it’s out of both our hands now.”

Laying her head on his arm, Shenna has to fight back the tears that are threatening and the anger that has been growing in her every day since they found out about the cancer.

“I know, Cade,” her hand still in his she turns her face to the side to kiss his arm, “I’m just being selfish and thoughtless - I’m sorry.”

His other hand reaches over to stroke her hair. “You don’t have a selfish bone in your body,” he tells her and places a tender kiss on her hair. “Now climb up here and lay with me, I want to feel you in my arms for a while.”

Lifting her head to look at him, Shenna eye’s the IV line attached to his arm. She wants to be held by him, too, but she doesn’t want to disrupt the source of his pain relief.

Following her gaze, Cade smiles encouragingly. “It’s taped in good and secure - you won’t hurt me, Shenna - just lay with me a while.”

Doing as he asks, Shenna carefully lies down on the bed and feels his arms tighten around her. They lack the strength they once had, but hold her with all the love they ever did.

“I love you so much, Cade,” Shenna tightens her hold on her husband. “I have something I need to tell you, only I don’t know if it will please you or make the parting harder.”
And I can’t bear to hurt you, not ever, but especially not now.

His hand stills the stroking of her hair and lifts her chin so that he can see her troubled face. “Just tell me, Shenna, the parting is going to be hard no matter what.”

Closing her eyes she hopes her news will give him some joy in his last hours and not add to the pain. “I’m pregnant, Cade - we’re going to have a baby.”

At first she feels him go perfectly still then his arms tighten around her. “A baby…are you sure?” He feels her nod against his chest and the brightest smile spreads across his amazed face and shines in his tear filled eyes. “A baby! Have you thought of any names?”

He sounds happy…but is that for me or is he really as overjoyed as he sounds?
“I thought it might be nice to name a boy after his daddy, Cade junior,” she tells him wistfully.

But Cade frowns and shakes his head. “No, Shenna, don’t put that burden on the boy,” he tells her softly. “He doesn’t need the fact that he doesn’t have a father rubbing in every time anyone uses his name.”

“I never thought of it like that,” and raises her head up to look at him. “What would you like him to be called?”

He considers, then smiles broadly. “Neirin, it’s a sturdy Welsh name meaning ‘modest’ and ‘noble’ and my grandfather wore it well.”

Shenna returns his smile and nods in approval. “Neirin it is…,” she agrees, “…I always loved your granddad, and you’re right, he wore his name well.”

They lay quiet, each mulling over their own thoughts.

“So…what if it’s a girl?” she shifts to look at him again. “Do you have a preference?”

“Well…I’ve always liked my mother’s name, Nareene,” Cade looks wistful as he thinks of her, “it means ‘contented’, and as long as she’s tending her family that’s just what she is.”

Laying her head back down on his chest she smiles into him. “That’s settled then - Neirin for a boy and Nareene for a girl.”

Just that little conversation seems to have worn him out. Shenna can feel his breathing even out and shallow and knows that Cade has fallen asleep.

Chapter One

The Iceni Forest is cold and wearing a jacket of snow. The river that runs through it is more of a stream most of the time and is frozen over too.

“Come on, Neirin, if you don’t get your skates on we won’t have time for a walk,” standing with hands on hips, Shenna shouts up the stairs to her four year old son.

“I’m coming,” Neirin rounds the top of the stairs with the scarf he’s been looking for hanging around his shoulders. Holding tight to the handrail, as his mother taught him, he makes his way down the stairs and grins up at Shenna.

Her heart melts and her snippiness evaporates. “Here now, let me put that on properly so you’ll be warm enough.” She wraps the scarf a couple of times around his neck then tucks both ends into his coat and fastens the top button over it. “Ok, you look warm enough,” Shenna nods with satisfaction as she pulls his woolly hat over his ears. “Let’s go.”

Neirin loves the snow - he stomps his wellies in a soldier-like fashion, his arms swinging at his sides. “Can we go to the stream, please; I want to see the badgers?”

“Ok, but carefully - you know the rules, you wait for me before you go
anywhere near the stream,” Shenna reminds him, though she knows Neirin is sensible and she’s taught him how to live safely in the forest.

Suddenly he stops and points up to a nearby branch. “Look mummy, it’s Cyril,” he laughs up at the red squirrel that seems to be watching the boy with interest. “We haven’t seen him for ages.”

Watching her son, Shenna enjoys his thrill of animals, always concerned if he hasn’t seen one of his ‘friends’ for a while.

“It’s been really cold over the last couple of weeks,” she reminds Neirin, “Cyril probably just snuggled down for a while - but he looks fine.”

The red squirrel turns its curious head to look at Shenna as she approaches, and gives a flick of its bushy tail.

“Here,” holding her hand out to Neirin, Shenna gives him a few peanuts from her pocket, “that boulder looks about right.”

Neirin takes the peanuts and places them carefully on the flattest part of the large rock. Going back to his mum’s side, he watches as the squirrel scoots down the tree and tucks in to the treat.

When the ground is clear of snow, Neirin often throws the peanuts on the ground just a couple of feet away and the squirrels actually don’t mind him standing to watch as long as he is still and quiet.

Taking his mum’s hand again, he looks up with a happy smile. “Did the badgers snuggle down, too?”

“Probably,” Shenna tells him as they approach the stream, “but we’ll see if we can see any tell-tale signs of activity.”

They walk together in contented silence. The forest is full of birds and animals that an observant person can enjoy. Shenna takes out her binoculars and uses them to search the opposite river bank.

Handing them to Neirin, Shenna points about six feet up the rise of the bank. “There, do you see them…?”

Neirin points the binoculars in the direction his mum has indicated and sees the badgers’ tracks. “They’re alright,” he looks up at Shenna with a grin, “I wonder if they’ll have any cubs this year.”

“Don’t see why not…,” she tells him, “…they haven’t missed a year since we’ve lived here.”

“How long have we lived here?” Neirin asks curiously.

“Your dad and I moved here about eight years ago - do you remember what I told you about your dad’s work?” she asks Neirin.

“He looked after the forest,” Neirin says proudly. “That’s what I want to do.”

“You do?” Shenna smiles down at her serious looking son and is thrilled to see the pride he has in a dad he never had the chance to meet. “Well, he would have loved sharing all of this with you. He used to enjoy teaching children all about the birds and animals that live in the forest and what we have to do to protect their homes.”

“That’s important,” Neirin states as he takes hold of his mother’s hand again, “or else they won’t have anywhere to live and then they’ll go ex…ex…”

“Extinct,” Shenna finishes for him. “Yes, that’s right and once that happens we never get to see them again.”

“Ever?” Neirin looks up with startled eyes at his all knowing mummy.

“Never again,” she emphasises softly. “But we can all help to prevent that from happening - even in little ways that don’t cost any money and very little time.”

“We can?” he asks with a studious frown.

Nodding, Shenna points to a small clearing and a crisp packet that is sticking up out of the thin layer of snow. “Even if all we do is make sure that our rubbish is properly put in the bin.”

Walking with him, Shenna allows Neirin to pick up the crisp packet with a gloved hand and shoves it into her pocket.

“We’d better get back,” she tells him, “it’s time to make tracks for your swimming lesson.”

He doesn’t complain, though Shenna can see that Neirin would have loved to stay a little longer in the forest. But then, he would always want more time - he loves the forest and the animals that live there.
A real chip of the old block - he’s just like you, Cade.

When they pull up in the leisure centre car park, Neirin spots his friend Tommy and waves excitedly out of the window. Tommy and his mum make their way over to the car just as Shenna unbuckles Neirin and they walk in to the centre together.

“I wasn’t sure if anyone would turn up with all the snow,” Gail comments as she helps Tommy into his swimming trunks.

“If you’ve lived here any length of time you don’t let the weather dictate your life,” Shenna smiles over to her friend. “Having said that,” Shenna turns to survey the changing room in case she’s missed seeing the other mum they usually meet up with, “I don’t see Juliette and the twins - I didn’t notice their car in the car park either.”