Satin and Steel (14 page)

Why does he insist upon calling me, “Honey?!”
Rhee stood there, trembling slightly. She felt cold and hot at the same time as she warred with her buried memories and tightly-reined in emotions.

“If it’s any help at all, I am personally going to stuff Juan’s balls down his throat for what he did to you, sweetheart. Okay?”

“It wasn’t him!” Rhee burst out.

“What?”

“The dreams, my night terrors. I-they aren’t about that night. Not most of them. They-they’re from a long time ago, okay? I don’t want to talk about it! I don’t want to remember!” Rhee ducked under the surprised man’s arm. She dashed to the room she called home for now and threw herself on the bed.
I could lock the door, but what’s the point?
She held her breath, willing the tears to dry up, refusing to let her sobs escape her throat, and she was successful.
Getting back some of my control, thank God.

At some point, she was aware that Dax had followed her into the room. He nudged the door closed and stretched out next to her on the bed. He didn’t say anything. Finally, she felt the warmth of his hands pressing into her shoulders. His fingers skimmed across taut muscle, kneading, working the tension from Rhee’s back. She wanted to stay strong, to resist, but she was so tired, so emotionally drained. Eventually, she found herself being dragged into his lap. Rhee hid her face in Dax’s chest, lulled by his heartbeat. She was dizzy with apprehension, fatigue, and desire. Finally, he spoke. It wasn’t a request as much as it was a command.

“Tell me. All of it.”

And in a hesitant, faltering voice, she did.

Chapter Fourteen

Rhee was sound asleep without the aid of any little white pills. Dax was pacing and sipping a scotch as he tried to process what the girl had told him. She had seemed so relieved once she had gotten most of the story out. Dax winced at the strange irony. Now Rhee was able to sleep, but it looked like Dax would be up all night trying to deal with her past.

My Dad died when I was fourteen.
Cancer.
Mickey was twelve.
A year later, my mom met our stepdad, Paul.
He seemed nice enough at first.
Once mom married him though, we found out he had been hiding a lot.
He was in a lot of debt.
He drank.
A lot.
He got pretty nasty after a year or two.
Paul got mad when there wasn’t any money for liquor.
Mickey and I went from being spoiled to having pretty much nothing.
Everything went to Paul’s drinking and gambling.
Mom worked full time and at had a second job at night to pay the bills.

When I turned sixteen, things started to get a little weird.
Paul looked at me funny.
He would walk in on me in the shower and claim the door had been open, even though I knew I had locked it.
He made comments about my body.
He started asking about my boyfriends.
I didn’t have any, of course.
I wasn’t pretty, and I didn’t want to have to explain why no one could come over.

Eventually, Paul started coming into my room at night when my mom was at work.
I fought back, and he hit me.
He made me…touch him.
He tried to touch me.
I couldn’t tell my mom.
She just loved Paul so much, despite his shortcomings.
I started having night terrors around then.
I joined a lot of clubs and afterschool activities so I wasn’t home much.
I worked really hard and got into a college that had a dorm.
I got a scholarship and moved out.
I tried to forget.
Eventually, I even tried dating, at the insistence of my roommates.

Marco seemed really nice at first.
Then, he got pretty jealous.
After a few months, he started making me do things I didn’t want to do.
Then one night he went, um, too far.
We got into a big fight and he-he beat me up pretty badly.
I tried to leave him but he followed me everywhere.
He showed up after my classes, and even to my part-time job.
Finally, I had nowhere else to go but back home.
I finished the semester and escaped.

When I moved back home, I noticed that Mickey was acting really withdrawn and depressed.
I saw the way Paul looked at her.
She wouldn’t talk to me at first.
I guess she was really angry at me for leaving her with him.
She had no idea he had been, well, touching me.
We cried together all afternoon and she told me he had done the unthinkable.
The bastard raped my little sister in her own bed.
I felt sick for abandoning her, and I swore I would never leave Mickey again.

My mom came home from work and I told her everything.
She got really quiet and at first, we thought she didn’t believe us.
When Paul came home, she asked him to go for a drive.
They got in the car, and didn’t come back.
The police showed up later that night to tell us that Paul had wrapped the car around a tree.
My mom and him were…gone.

Thanks to the debts Paul had racked up, we had nothing to live on.
We were already behind on the mortgage and I tried to find us an apartment, but no one would rent to me.
Who could blame them?
I was just a nineteen-year old girl with no credit and a lot of problems.
I tried to hold it together but I couldn’t.
Mickey took off right in the middle of the semester.
I tracked her down but I figured I should stay and finish school.

Marco showed up in my life again and I started taking self-defense classes to protect myself.
One day, he broke into the house while I was up late studying.
I managed to sneak out the back door.
I never went back to that house.
I transferred my credits and came here, to find my sister.

Mickey was involved with a guy who called himself, “Dizzy.”
He rode with a tough-looking biker gang.
I didn’t like him but it was clear that Mickey thought she was in love.
She was practically living with Dizzy when I showed up to persuade her to start taking classes with me.
She has a real gift for photography and she had planned to pursue a career in photojournalism. We made plans to look at apartments for the next semester.
Then, she disappeared.
You know the rest, Dax.
I-I can’t talk anymore.

Her voice had trailed off, and then Rhee was falling asleep on the couch next to him.
Christ, no wonder she’s so leery of me!
Still, he placed his arm around her protectively, pulling her into his body. Dax stroked her reddish-brown tresses tenderly. Rhee sighed, and curled into him, her face resting on his collarbone. Dax felt an unfamiliar warmth spreading in his chest as he gazed at her sleeping form.

Finally, he slid his arms underneath Rhee’s petite frame and lifted her gently. He placed her in the guest bed, and sat for a few moments, staring at her. She had a heart-shaped face, a tiny little nose, and a full, lush mouth. She looked so innocent. Apparently looks were deceiving.
This little girl has been through more than I realized.
Makes sense she ended up here…most of us have had hard times and have no family to lean on.

Dax made to get up when she whimpered in her sleep. Rhee’s hand came to rest on his forearm, and she clutched him tightly. Dax hesitated. Then, he slipped off his boots and settled in next to the girl. He felt that pleasant warmth return as she cuddled against him. Asleep, Rhee seemed to have no reason to feel afraid of him.
Awake, the girl avoids me like the plague.
Hell, I’ll take it.
He pulled her close and drew the covers over the two of them, determined to protect Rhee from her nightmares.

Drowsily, Rhee thought she must have surely been dreaming when she woke in the man’s arms again
.
I could get used to this.
She thought back to the night before and could not recall having a single bad dream. Dax was better than a sleeping pill to chase away her past. But an unfortunate side effect of his presence was the aching desire that caused Rhee’s nipples to harden, her center to throb with wet, hot need, and her mouth to fall open in a soft gasp as she pressed into the tall, muscled biker. Half asleep, she fought the urge to rub herself shamelessly against his thigh.

Dax groaned softly at the feel of her warm breasts boring into his arm. Rhee was pressed tightly against him, her hand on his chest. Sighing, she pressed closer, nestling against him as though they were lovers. Knowing what she had been through made Dax even more determined not to treat the girl like a common groupie. She had been hurt. Dax himself had frightened her on more than one occasion. Above all, he realized that he wanted Rhee to trust him. In order to accomplish that, he needed to keep his damn hands off of her.
Plus, she’s not mine.
Trish would have my balls if she saw us like this!

He quit the bed first, and took a cold shower. By the time the girl was up, he was frying up an omelet. She regarded him somewhat hesitantly until he broke the ice by asking her if she had ever followed up with the post office. Rhee called and discovered that a package was waiting for her. When they asked for her forwarding address, she gave them Dax’s, at his insistence.

Rhee felt awkward now, around him. Dax knew she was damaged. He knew her deepest, darkest fears and secrets. She felt vulnerable and exposed. She spent the next few days trying to sort out her feelings, and trying to figure out just what she was to Dax.
Why does he care
?

Her phone buzzed, jarring Rhee from her thoughts. Only a time like the current one could make a text from Lisa seem appealing.

Missed you at rush.
Are you free later?

Rhee sighed audibly, attracting Dax’s attention. They were at the clubhouse and she had been attacking the filing cabinet with a vengeance to distract herself from her thoughts. Dax checked his phone and read her message. Then, he asked her who it was and she told him. Rhee didn’t know that her phone was synced to his own.

“Want to meet up with her? Maybe it will do you some good. I’ll send Wince and Rollie with you. They can follow discreetly, just to make sure you don’t run into trouble.”

“I’m sure Lisa will be disappointed.” The words were out of Rhee’s mouth before she could stop them.

“Oh? Why’s that?”

“Uh-I don’t know. I think Lisa found you attractive.” Rhee’s cheeks were hot again.

“Who, this old man?”

“You’re not old!”

“Oh yeah? How old do you think I am?”

Rhee giggled. “I have no idea. But you can’t be older than twenty-five.”

“Close, honey. I’m a few years older than that. Twenty-eight and what is she? Twenty? Nah, that would never work,” he said. An unmistakable look of disappointment flitted across Rhee’s face.
What was that about?
She wants me to hook up with her little friend?

He’s right,
Rhee thought.
What is wrong with me?
He sees Lisa and me as just silly little kids.
“Um, maybe you’re right. Maybe I should get out of here for a bit.”

Dax nodded. “Roger that, stowaway. I’ll get the boys rounded up. You can take the suburban.”

Their coffee date was awkward. Lisa looked around expectantly when Rhee arrived. “Where’s your friend Dax? Are you dating him, Rhee? He is so freaking fine!”

Rhee shook her head. “Nope, just a friend.”

“Too bad!”

When Kate walked in a few minutes later, Rhee had to smile. Of the two girls, Kate seemed a little more grounded.

“Hi, Rhee!”

Rhee welcomed Kate’s hug. After a few awkward questions about her living situation, and her change of major, Rhee managed to redirect the conversation to sororities and dating. She had little in common with Kate and Lisa, but she was able to feign interest. They talked at her happily for over an hour.

“Please, Rhee? You have to come to one of our parties. There are so many cute guys!”

“Uh-sure.” Rhee’s knew her forced smile probably made her look like she was smelling something unpleasant.

“Okay, so Thursday night? For sure? I’ll text you the address.”

“Um, yeah. That sounds great.”
I’m totally isolated at the clubhouse.
Maybe I should give this college thing a chance.
Dax would probably be cool with it if someone came with me….

Another hour passed and Rhee’s phone buzzed.

Hey, stowaway.
Wince here.
We have to roll.

“That’s my ride. I’ll see you girls soon!” Kate and Lisa’s eyes widened as the black suburban pulled up. It was difficult to see inside, but Rhee was sure they were aware that a man was driving. She waved half-heartedly.
What did I get myself into now?

“Wince, feel like going to a sorority party?”

Chapter Fifteen

“No.”

Seriously?!
“I think it would be good for me.”

Dax sighed. “Fine. I guess I’ll have to go with you.”

“That’s not necessary. I already asked Wince.”

Was that a hint of disappointment on his face?

“When is it?”

“Tomorrow night.” Rhee looked away.

“You realize what happens at these parties, right?”

“I hadn’t thought about it. I assume drinking, games, dancing…”
You’re not my Dad, Dax!

“Fucking.”

OhMyGod.
Hearing the word come out of his mouth conjured all kinds of indecent images in Rhee’s mind. “What?”