Authors: PJ Sharon
Tags: #romance, #nature, #suspense, #young adult, #abuse, #photography, #survival, #georgia, #kidnapped
She blew out a breath that sent a breeze
across her face and lifted a wisp of hair from the new bangs that
rested at her brow. Patience was definitely not her strong suit.
She slid down off the big boulder landing soft as a cat onto the
ground below. Justin followed suit, landed agilely beside her, and
they started back toward the house. He reached out to offer his
hand. Brinn took it and smiled, still awed by how such a small
gesture could feel so incredibly intimate and right. It was the
same sensation she got whenever he quoted Emily Dickinson’s poetry
or answered her calls with sweet messages that lit up her day.
She thought back to the night before when
she’d asked her mother to explain relationships and this strange
longing her body had when she even thought about Justin. Her
mother’s response made her bite back a smile. Over a pot of hot
tea, they’d cried and laughed and discussed until the two were
yawning with fatigue. Her clinical approach to the topic made it
easier and helped Brinn understand the complexities of
attraction.
Although the conversation was wrought with
embarrassment and discomfort, it drew them closer, bridging yet
another gaping hole left behind by their long separation. Her
mother’s parting words before the two hugged and went off to bed
rang in her ears.
“
Every action has a
consequence, and sex complicates relationships. You need to be
certain of what you want. Trust your instincts and go slowly. There
will be plenty of time for your and Justin's relationship to
progress naturally. And know that, at any point, you have the right
to say ‘no’.” Brinn smiled again at the memory and the serious look
on her mother’s face.
If nature were the only factor, Brinn would
have tackled Justin to the ground this minute. She had all she
could do to keep from kissing him again. The loss of control
frightened her, but somewhere beyond the fear, the desire for
complete connection drew her to the flame.
"Are you all right, Brinn? You look like
you’re about to eat a whole chocolate cream pie." He grinned,
“Whatever you’re thinking about, it must be something good; you
look happy. Care to let me in on the big secret?”
"I'm okay—it’s nothing." Brinn responded, her
skin warming as if he’d read her mind. She would have time to talk
to Justin about her newfound understanding of relationships on the
way to the cabin. "I was just thinking the same thing you were. I
don’t know what I’d do without you, either.” A long sigh escaped
her lips as she let go of the rush of sadness that swept through
her at the thought of ever losing his friendship. She ignored the
fear that tried to steal her smile. “So, what do you say about the
weekend?”
Justin tensed, obviously struggling with an
answer. "I have a better idea. Why don't I invite Cody and you
invite Abby to come with us? You girls can catch up on girl talk
and Cody and I will handle all the man chores." He grinned broadly,
waggling his brows. “It’ll be fun; besides, Cody's been bugging me
to go camping with him and I think it’ll be good for him to have a
change of scenery."
Disappointed, Brinn gave him a wary look.
"Are you afraid to be alone with me?" She stopped short, pulling
him around to face her.
After a moment’s surprise, he recovered and
said in a playful tone, "Well, you did tie me up and steal my
clothes the last time you brought me to your cabin."
Brinn grinned and punched him lightly on the
arm. "You are afraid of me." She closed the distance, gave him a
seductive arch of her brow, and walked her fingers down his chest
to his belt line, tugging him closer. "What are you afraid I'll
do?" Ignoring the apprehension that thrummed in her body, she
wrapped one arm firmly around his waist and slid the other under
the edge of his collar. The softness and warmth of his flesh made
her insides tighten. She traced the outline of his ear, and stroked
the smooth line of his jaw. Her eyes widened and her pulse quivered
as she felt Justin’s response. She noticed a subtle shift in his
scent. The natural spiciness that always lingered on his skin grew
sharper, more potent. Her nose twitched but she didn't move
away.
Justin sucked in a breath and pulled her hand
away. He gently placed her flat palm on his chest. His heart
thundered beneath her touch. He encircled her in his arms, and a
smile curved his lips. "You’re flirting with me, aren't you?"
"I'm trying to, but you are not making it
easy."
Justin laughed, a low, growling sound that
sent pleasant shivers along her skin. "It's not you I'm afraid of."
He held one hand to her face and looked into her eyes with such
gentleness that her pulse skipped like a flat stone across a pond.
"I want you so badly sometimes, it hurts. But we need to take our
time. You still have the trial to get through and I think it's too
soon, that's all."
Brinn wanted to pull away, a deep ache
immediately festering in her heart. Maybe the truth was that he
didn’t want her after what had happened to her. Maybe no one would
ever want her. Brinn felt the heat of anger rising to confront the
dark thoughts. She would not let her past steal any more from her.
The present and the future were hers to decide.
As much as she wanted to argue with him, she
knew he was probably right. She was playing with fire—a kind of
fire she knew nothing about. If it burned like the real thing, she
should probably run the other way. Her only frame of reference to
intimacy was the painful experiences of her past and the
make-believe stories of movies and books. Knowing the truth lay
somewhere between, fear mixed with longing kept her head
spinning.
Uncertain about how she would respond if
Justin took her up on her advances, she wanted to pull back. But
the tender look on his face gave her a boost of confidence. She
touched the softness of his clean-shaven jaw and placed a tentative
kiss on his lips, her mouth burning with the intimacy of
contact.
Unnamed fear crept along her spine. She
shoved it down. She was safe in Justin’s arms. He would never hurt
her. He had proven himself trustworthy and almost maddeningly
respectful. But she didn't feel certain of anything at the moment,
only that she felt hurt and disappointed and she wanted Justin to
see her as a whole woman, not the wounded little girl she once was.
She forced her body to stillness, struggling with the urge to
withdraw. She lifted her lips away from his and looked up into eyes
the color and depth of the earth.
"I won't break, you know," she whispered
against his cheek. Gathering her courage again, she wrapped her
arms around Justin's neck, prompting him to hold her tighter.
Justin’s composure weakened. His cheeks
flushed slightly as he returned her shy smile. "You've made that
perfectly clear. I just want you to be sure. You have a lot to go
through over the next few months. I don't want to discourage you,
Brinn, but testifying will probably be the hardest thing you will
ever have to do in your life. I’ll be there for you every step of
the way, but I think we need to focus on getting you through the
trial. I don't want to complicate matters by having a physical
relationship with you." When he brushed her cheek with his
fingertips, a swirl of warmth simultaneously flooded her face and
sent a shiver through her. "I want us to take our time and give you
a chance to recover, okay?"
Determination sparked along her skin as
desire collided with anger. She’d spent the last eight years
surviving and recovering. She wasn’t a child anymore. She was
eighteen years old, a grown, whole woman, and if she could face
Roy, Brinn knew she could look him in the eye across that
courtroom. She could no longer afford to be an innocent girl and
she wanted Justin to treat her like a woman. She considered her
words carefully. "I can’t begin to tell you how much your support
and friendship have meant to me, Justin, and I don’t want to do
anything to ruin that, but I know my heart, and it tells me that
what I feel for you is real, and true...and safe."
Brinn noticed the subtle shift of energy in
Justin's response, sensing a burden lift from his shoulders. A
glint of heartfelt satisfaction lit his eyes.
Before he could respond and without further
reservation, she blurted, “I’m in love with you and I—I want to be
with you.” Brinn’s heart pounded, her skin burning from the bold
words that tumbled from her lips and the blaze of the August
heat.
"Which is more of a reason to wait," he
argued stubbornly, making it clear he wasn't going to be swayed.
Then he stopped and stared at her as if the words were just
beginning to make sense. He stood stunned for a moment longer and
then his expression softened to one of wonder. He was smiling
gently and his face glowed with affection. But he hadn’t returned
the sentiment. Wasn’t this the moment when he was supposed to say
“I love you, too”? The world pressed in around her, and a
suffocating sadness rose to steal her breath. Maybe he didn’t feel
the same way.
What if he didn’t love her back? Maybe he was
just being kind to her because he felt sorry for her. She’d been a
fool to believe someone like him could really love her. He was
handsome and smart and kind and funny. He could have anyone he
wanted. He should be with someone who fit into his world—a normal
woman without all of this drama hanging over her head like a storm
cloud. Brinn released her hold on him and started to push away,
wishing she could escape the silence and hide.
Justin held her close and searched her face.
She didn’t fight him. He raised her palm to his lips. His warm
brown eyes penetrated so deeply into hers that the look reached her
heart, bringing a flood of relief. "I want every step that we take
in this relationship to be beautiful, so that whatever bad memories
you have are washed away forever. My first priority, however, is
keeping you safe—even if that means keeping you safe from
yourself—and me. I don’t want to do anything to ruin this either,
Brinn."
Even as he spoke of a possible future, making
her heart soar and her belly somersault, Brinn knew that the
memories that seeped into her conscious mind and darkened her
dreams would be with her as long as she lived. Even Justin couldn’t
protect her from that. And he knew it. He was afraid. The look in
his eyes showed it. He was afraid she would never recover enough to
give herself fully to him.
She dragged in a breath and released a sigh
of resignation. Dreams of a future remained haunted by the
nightmares of the past. There was no getting around it. She would
somehow have to make peace with that. Allowing Roy Stockman to live
in any part of her seemed unthinkable, as if she were allowing him
ownership, but Brinn needed to believe that facing him down and
putting him behind bars forever would go a long way toward
reclaiming her soul. That, and believing that Justin could maybe
love her—someday.
"You were wrong before,” she said.
“Testifying won't be the hardest thing I've ever done. Surviving
was." Brinn kept her gaze trained on Justin's, holding his
attention. "Do you remember how I acted when you tried to give me
your chain?” She traced the small oval medal that rested on his
chest.
He reached inside his shirt and lifted out
the chain. Brinn stared at it while she spoke. “I couldn’t wear it
because it reminded me of a time when I was kept chained. It was
his way of showing me that I belonged to him—that I was powerless.”
Her hand went to her throat. She swallowed hard and looked up into
Justin’s eyes, so filled with pain. “Once I got away from him, I
swore no one would ever chain me again. I won’t be owned or
controlled, but...I don’t want to be alone anymore.”
“
I understand...better than
you think,” he said.
“
I have overcome a lot to
be here with you now, Justin, and I don't want that monster to take
one more minute of my life from me." She blinked back the tears
that welled up. “As long as I know you’re on my side, I can make it
through anything.”
A long moment of silence breathed between
them. Justin studied her face and didn’t argue further. “I will
always be on your side; don’t you know that by now?” He stroked her
cheek with the backs of his fingers, the softness bringing another
warm flush of eagerness to her whole body. “You can always count on
me, okay?”
And then he kissed her—gently but with a
passion that left no doubt about his intent. He took her into his
arms and met her lips, stealing her breath. She waited for the
panic to take over, but instead felt desire rush through her veins
like a wolf on the hunt, spurring her to respond.
Brinn clutched Justin's hair, tightening her
hold and pressing her body solidly against his, every inch of her
skin tingling with heat. As she felt his response to the kiss, a
low growl escaped her lips. Instinct and half a lifetime spent in
the wild raged through her. She had watched animals mate and it
never seemed particularly gentle or even friendly, but the savage
necessity of it thrummed in her flesh.
For the first time, Brinn could see the
possibilities of reckless abandon and the right to choose. She
wanted to free the part of her that innately knew the rightness of
coupling with a man whom she loved, a man she could trust and who
loved her. As delicious heat seared across her skin, Brinn realized
she wasn't afraid anymore. She loved Justin and she wanted him. His
desire, his need, and his love poured into her body as his lips
joined with hers in perfect rhythm and flow.
Brinn pushed herself past the momentary
flashes of panic that bubbled to the surface, mentally popping them
as she refocused all her attention on Justin and the new sensations
that he evoked. Sparks of fear disintegrated as joy blossomed and
took hold of her mind and body, leaving her no doubt that she would
prevail against her invasive past.