Authors: Muriel Rukeyser
“Her husband's gone to Saragossa,” he said.
They looked after the pair. The street was narrow; they had retreated into darkness already. One note returned as the woman wept.
“Two of the Belgians volunteered today,” said the Belgian. “They wouldn't take oneâhe's got a wife and child in Antwerp.”
“And the other?” asked Helen fearfully, her drawn breath whistling against her teeth.
“He's going with the rest tomorrow,” answered the boy, the Belgian.
A light went out. The thin slit of sky over the street was buzzing with stars. Everyone was impossibly sleepy. The Welshman came out of the Condal, singing in a low voice. The English party was almost over. Helen remembered the bed, and her room; sleep. She was fighting her hip's pain, pain of remembering.
She got down the street; as she turned for good night, she saw, lit shockingly by the lamp above them, a group of the English.
The twisted shadows made their faces wormy and grave-eaten.
Their throats were dark, like the knotted throats of that unprotected army.
They were deciphering the notice of martial law.
SHE LAY BETWEEN
the sheets, running her hand over the turned-back top, running her fingers like spiders over the cold cloth. The luxury, the voluptuousness of being lapped in fine extravagant cloth, was very great. All luxury. The hot-water faucet with its flat shine. The chair at the foot of the bed with her clothes thrown over it. The opened suitcase,
Aaron's Rod
, fresh dresses. The wide
passeig
during General Strike, full of walking people, the smiles, the greeting fist. A black-and-white checkerboard of a dining room floor.
The luxury of this room, a black cave in the world of Spain.
The room was smaller than the connecting one at the Olympic, its ceiling lower, the wallpaper made it close in. Her big bed drew itself together, contracted tight, and hung suspended before the tall double shutter. A crack down the center showed a square black window a hand could touch, so close outside.
She ran her fingers back and forth, madly, along the sheet. Her hip was convulsed in pain, separately, while the rest of her body lay exhausted, thrown flat on the bed. Flaming cathedrals, smoky images. There was a crucifixion going on in her hip, and the long, writhing legs of Jesus stretched like a drawn nerve down her thigh. Moving.
The army must be out of the city by now, walking. Stumbling in the dark across the hills to the south. The dark, soul hills.
En una noche oscura . . .
Or marching north, encountering mountains and other armies, the savage Pyrenees, the world in Spain, marching hallucinations flooding Europe, finding hostile polite troops in France, a friendly country, murder in Germany, the bony candid faces of British tithe-marchers, weapons everywhere, spreading wide, and then the planes, the new formal death, bombs, grenades, gas, reconnoiterings, skies, and then farther abroad, farther into the past, the anonymous men, the anonymous past
. . .
She stretched suddenly in an agonized, stiff cat-stretch.
Mother, father, leader! she thought. The brave men, brave. The love, mature and Hans, recognized by strangers, muscles set; the dark tense army. Could we have gone like that, who come into wars as tourists, helpless, heavy with paraphernalia, delicate, asking for ice and hot water? The feted peeresses during the Russian Revolution, she thought.
Tourists in time of war.
No orders, no orders.
What could they do?
The scene in the committee-room at Moncada arrived before her, the bright hot room, the braided lines drawn down the secretary's cheeks, no foreign nationals, no foreign . . .
The stretch snapped, and her eyes opened frantic.
Image of oppression, a sea throwing up anonymous hearts, netted in veins, floundering, enmeshed.
Image of destruction. The shutter had moved with a wind. She had seen, cast at her eyes, a Fascist, a man with gold epaulets, breathing and hoarse, obscured behind the smoke of his fuming revolver. And another came, and more, each with a thousand workers in his pistol-smoke, Banquo's children against a shutter, fifty men, all hoarse with fear, all golden-shouldered.
She recognized this death: the spy's attack, the general's shot in the head: this was the worst. She sighed, and was fully awake again.
The leg was the past, and she was far away from it. It leapt now, cruelly, and settled to a steady throbbing, whose echo was pulsed in veins: the past, poetry, music, walking through thousands of streets, stone, a generation shrieking, stone, all the girls saying, we
will
be mastered, stone, plane's flight, flag's signal without war, where flags mean survival, the wheels of speed, books, gifts, war. With each throb, riding on throbs, she said the name of someone she loved, some place she could return to, trying to make herself believe the past, hush the insistent past.
The leg grew quiet.
Hans! she thought.
His fine, weird eyes deepened before her. The pure life! he had said. Mother, father, leader! How to have it? What to do now, how to make life in this, how to be part? His carved cheeks were certain as wood. Surely he had a plan, she was certain he had a plan, he would make a life happen. The soldier in all the pride and effort and naked poverty going to Saragossa, walking across range past range
of impossibility, black and silver like the land, faces in midnight changing in a wind, conviction building them, darkness painting them out, passion reviving them, arson, phoenix.
Hans, remaining in Spain.
The word, she prayed obscurely, the word, some sign.
Sleep, but: first the word!
A memory broke through, splitting tempest, echoing oracular, vague and august and arbitrary, words of any meaning arriving with one meaning, a ship like a bird reaching, splitting the agony with bombs of sense:
LET EACH STAND IN HIS PLACE
                Â
Las Pompas Fúnebres
T
he crash of arsenals, chutes gasping for the air, fast bombers letting loose daytime destruction, death knocking on the ground, the knocking on the door. The knocking on the door.
Sleep crowding over, spilling black, knocks that march with brother faces through.
He was calling . . .
HIS PLACE
.
The Welshman.
He was saying, come down, come down. Time to start.
To start? Where?
Besieged by confusion again, days shattered, a whole life lived in a few days, shattering down into confusion again?
To start?
She pulled herself up through the end of the night.
The day was violent white through the slits, shutter light falling in slats on the floor. Her clothes fallen on the chair, voices at the near wall, voices at her door. The Welshman's voice, calling, “Come down, we're starting to march. We have to be in our places in ten minutes. We're marching with the army.”
A Zaragoza
!
Hans, at the Palacio.
She answered.
He would wait for her downstairs. Only hurry.
There was cold water, godsend, running between her fingers over her face and wrists, waking, morning. She was busy at the chair. Awake. To hurry. Before. Too late.
THEY WERE WAITING
at the door, the heavy, carven door with its black African fruit was swinging back, the sharp street was struck white with morning, filled with people, the athletes, the city people, standing before the Madrid, before the jewelry store, the electrical appliance shop, all the hotels.
The young athletes stood about, one knot bound to the small Spanish soldier, back to the wall, in the friendly attitudes, against the wall, of a tram at the brick of the chapel-side. “There!” The picture was taken. The Dutch boy spooled the film further in his camera. “I'll get one of the pictures to you,” he promised the soldier. The bayonet in the center of the group was bound with a red strip. Yes. But, knotted about it, ragged, was the strip of black.
A Spanish family was ripping a square of black cloth in front of the hotel.
Helen asked the Welshman.
“In memory,” he said. “We're marching for the war dead, too.”
She put her hand out to the family, with the Welshman's hand. He was binding his strip about his arm.
All the athletes wore the brassards now, black, bound tight about the arm.
She took the scrap. The week. In memory?
“Pin?” she asked the Welshman, smiling the thin, twisted smile down. He shook his head no. And then, with the twist, the smile, he unpinned from his lapel the Olympic pin and handed it to her.
“But do take it!” he insisted. “You should have one, anyway; here, I have one that fits the buttonhole. You take the pin.”
The scrap of black pinned to the waist, carried for badge.
Peter and Olive came up, tied with black. He was carrying a
camera. “I've been taking pictures of the teams,” he said. “The English are going todayâoh, you don't know, do youâyou slept late, didn't you?” He laughed. “Good for you,” he said. “You missed all that mess of meetings.”
“What mess?”
“Johnson went with the English to their consul this morning.” He turned to the Welshman, who looked at him with the long unbelieving look he had before the gunboat. “The consul won't let us go with them,” he said. “English boats for the English.” The Welshman scowled in a painful quick grimace, and turned on his heel. He crossed the street to talk to the English captain.
“It's true,” said Peter. “But Johnson's trying to find something else. The consul hasn't done a thing.”
“But they didn't want to go!” Helen said.
“They're planning other Games,” Peter went on. “Maybe, October. At the Olympic, they said . . .”
“I know . . .”
A whistle blew, at their heads.
The line was moving, up the street. The Americans blew the shrill sport-whistle to call their people together.
Johnson pulled the American flag out of his belt. It was small, after the banners: a Fourth-of-July flag with a gilt spearhead. Stationery stores, the front of tourist cars, the consulate over the wrecked square, the bullet hole channeled deep through the deep plate-glass of its bank-window door. He waved the flag over his head. “Americans!” he called. “Sweatshirts!”
They were slipping the blue jackets over their heads, lettered in white over the shoulder,
PEOPLE'S OLYMPIAD
.
The Spanish family finished the black cloth, and were running down the street to the avenue.
There was a motion ahead. The Dutch and the Belgians had already started. The English were falling into line.
“Four abreast,” Johnson was calling. “We'll all go together. Here, Peter, Helen, Olive, everybody!” the social workers were here, the bitches came running, cured by sleep, glad of the actionâthey all crowded in behind the small team.
On either side of the street, families waved. The windows emptied, and the street ran along with them, waved, and calling, wearing the strips of black.
                                Â
EL SERVICIO DE POMPAS FÃNEBRES
                                Â
Citizens of Barcelona are advised that all matters pertaining to the funeral rites must be regulated through the offices installed in 82 Calle de Muntaner, telephone number, 80.020.
The line swung into the great avenue, broadening from cramped groups circled around their flags into the spaced formations of parade; they fell into the great crowds swamping the avenue, and, at first, were indistinguishable, part of the people. Little by little, as the line lengthened and the flags were raised, they became identified, and the waves of greeting fell on them like waves of heat, rolling over the blood.
The cheers were beginning to go up.
As they passed down, the crowds parted in the sunlight, drawing the children off the center, standing near the trees, stopping, waving. Fists went up.
The avenue was the same they had gone down last night: The sign of the Berlin games, the drug stores, the Church of Bethlehem, with its ruined front, its lean stone saints with the broken skulls darkened by fire in their hands, the signs “
BEWARE OF FALLING RUINS
.” The dwarf hunchback passing rapidly before it, the tall man with his arm around the shoulders of the older woman (weeping
violently, would not be comforted), the burned arches, rubble of plaster, twisted pillars, walls fallen to lay bare the skeleton of brick, cancelled altar. The people at the door, staring inside, wheeling to face the line of march.
They filed past, turning toward the church. A stream of fine smoke still flared up at one corner.
The flags were in order now. The leaders of each nationality put flags high in the air. Looking down the line, the countries began to be spaced off. Only, the French were not there.
Helen heard running behind her, and stopped, turning with a violent insistent motion backward. She must not be wrong.
He came up to her quickly, his face hardened. He had been looking up and down the line. It was because the flags went up that he could find her.
He said, “I knew you would understand about last night.”
“Hans,” she spoke quickly, walking fast to catch up with the march, “I shouldn't have gone away to the hotel. But it straightened us out. The American team talks about going, but there isn't any way for them to leave. I don't want to go.”
“Will you stay?” He asked with great pressure behind the words; he smiled, the intensity was too much to carry. She wished again that something might be said on a less simple plane, that their words might not be all clichés and repetitions. But it was unnecessary and ruinous to hope for that, and it was only a flash; she saw down the great walk, down the stream of foreigners. No words could ever mark them down, the sun, the flags, the war. Here she was.