Savage: Iron Dragons MC (10 page)

“Natalie,” she said into the silence, as she stared at the tattoo.

Keith said nothing; he just lay there and watched her watching him.

“Natalie,” Kristina repeated again, moving her gaze to his face.

“Yes.”

“She must have been very special to you,” Kristina said with inflection.

“She was,” Keith nodded.

Kristina could sense the emotion in his tone and the sudden rigidity of his body. Still, Kristina could not simply move on from the topic. She wanted to know more; she wanted to know whom Natalie was and what she had looked like. She wanted to know where she had come from and how her memory had come to be ingrained on a lonely biker’s skin. It wasn’t jealousy that motivated the curiosity; it was simply the desire to understand a relationship that had shaped the man who lay next to her now. It was the need to understand Keith and all the things that mattered to him.

“Who was Natalie?” Kristina asked, hoping that he would answer her.

Keith paused for a moment. His eyes went far into the past for a moment, and when they came back, they were sad and heavy. “A woman from my past. A woman I loved very much.”

The way that he said it, Kristina understood that he wasn’t going to elaborate further. He had said all he wished to say about Natalie and she wasn’t going to be able to pry any more information out of him. Kristina continued to trace the outlines of his tattoos with her fingers, but it was too late. The room had already filled up with memories of Natalie.

Keith

Keith wished that Kristina had not asked about his tattoo. The moment she had said Natalie’s name out loud, Keith had felt his insides crunch. It wasn’t just that he was uncomfortable talking about her; it was the fact that it forced him to think about his relationship with her. It forced him to find the similarities in the moments he had shared with Natalie and the moment he had just shared with Kristina.

He had said as little about Natalie as possible until silence had settled back into the room. Kristina had rested beside him, running her fingers along his body, making him feel happy and sad at the same time. He was happy because he had finally found some small measure of peace after years of tortured anguish, but at the same time, he recognized that he had put himself back in the very situation he had promised to avoid after Natalie’s death.

Now he had something he could lose, now he had someone who could be in very real danger if the gang war between the Iron Dragons and the Rusted Chains escalated. Keith couldn’t believe he was back in this place; it was a sign of weakness on his part, and he took the full brunt of that weight. He watched Kristina, just as she watched him. He took in her curly brown hair that so beautifully highlighted the blue of her large doe eyes. He took in the curve of her hip and the salty, sweet smell of her. They were little jewels of intimacy that he had thought he would never have again. Now that he had tasted it however, he knew how hard it would be to break away, to remove himself back to his covert life of underground crime, reckless freedom, and meaningless sex.

“What are you thinking about?” Kristina asked suddenly, breaking Keith away from his weary thoughts.

“Things I can’t even begin to explain to you,” he said honestly.

She didn’t look offended by his answer. Instead, she nodded, as though she understood what he meant. “It must have been hard for you,” she said, and Keith looked at pointedly.

“Hard for me?” he repeated.

“You’ve obviously… lost people you cared about,” Kristina said diplomatically. “It’s not easy. They dominate your thoughts long after they’ve gone. It makes it difficult to leave the past in the past.”

Keith smiled sadly. “Have you ever lost someone close to you?”

“My grandfather,” Kristina said. “But that was different.”

“How?”

“He had lived a full life,” Kristina explained. “It was his time. It’s different when you lose someone suddenly, without warning, before their time. I don’t know what that must feel like… but I imagine it feels a lot like… you’ve been cheated.”

Keith let that sink in, and then he nodded. “That’s… exactly what it feels like. That’s exactly it.”

Kristina reached out and took his hand. She didn’t say another word, she just lay beside him, holding his hand and allowing him to waver off with his thoughts. She didn’t ask to be included; she didn’t ask to be considered. She just lay there, giving him comfort without expecting anything in return.

“I should get going,” Keith said slowly, after a half of hour of silence had passed them by. “I don’t want to keep you.”

“I don’t have anything else scheduled for today,” Kristina said easily. “But if you need to leave, I understand.”

Keith nodded and rose from her bed. His clothes made a pile on the floor and slowly, one by one, he picked them up and put them on. When he was fully clothed, he turned back to Kristina, who was propped up on her elbow and was watching him with a faraway look in her eye. She seemed completely oblivious to the fact that she was naked, and even when she stood up, she didn’t bother to put her clothes on. She just walked up to him, stood on her tiptoes to place a kiss on his cheek, and then she stepped back again as though to say she laid no claim on him.

“Thank you again,” Keith said. “For helping me that day… and for this evening.”

Kristina smiled. “When will I see you again?” she asked boldly, and Keith was taken aback by the directness of the question.

“I don’t know,” he said honestly, knowing that his reluctance was coming across in his tone. He had a responsibility to stay away from him, and he hated how weak he was showing himself to be.

“Ok,” she nodded in response, without insisting on a real answer.

He left her then and walked outside with his head heavy with self-doubt and guilt. 

“Nice day isn’t it?” said a voice that Keith loathed more than any other sound in the world. Keith’s head snapped up in the direction of the speaker and his eyes narrowed into slits.

“What—?”

“I like your new flame,” Kovic interrupted before Keith could think of a swear word that was strong enough. Kovic was sitting astride his motorcycle with the engine revved. “She’s got a tight little ass.”

“Stay away from her,” Keith threatened while at the same time trying to determine how fast he could get to Kovic in order to kick him off his motorcycle before he could get away on it.

“Sorry,” Kovic said with a nasty smile. “I can’t make that promise. But I’ll tell you what I can promise. I promise that I will make your new whore suffer like Natalie did before she died. But this time it will be for much longer.”

Then, before Keith’s shock and anger could thaw in time for him to make a move forward, Kovic had disappeared, leaving a trail of smoke, dust, and fear in his wake.

Kristina

“Where are you going?” Marie asked, taking in Kristina’s floral halter dress and nude wedges.

“Thought I’d see a movie tonight,” Kristina said, knowing that Marie had only just begun her line of questioning.

“Really?” Marie said with interest. “Which one?”

“The latest Tom Hanks one,” Kristina replied. “It’s supposed to be good.”

“I’m sure,” Marie nodded. “Aren’t you a little over-dressed for the movies?”

Kristina looked down at her ensemble and pretended to cast a critical eye over it. “It’s been lying in my closet for ages. I thought I’d air it out.”

Marie nodded. “Very practical… and the wedges?”

“They go with the dress.”

“Who did you say you were going to see this movie with?” Marie asked.

“Just a friend from my history class,” Kristina said evasively.

“I wasn’t aware you had a friend from history class,” Marie said, raising her eyebrows.

“It’s… a new friendship,” Kristina said with a smile. “We bonded over her screensaver… turns out we’re both
Empire
fans.”

“Oh that’s nice,” Marie said. “What’s her name?"

“Josie,” Kristina said, without missing a beat.

Marie’s smile grew wider. “She sounds nice… mind if I tag along?”

The smile on Kristina’s face faltered, and Marie laughed out loud. “You are so transparent.”

Kristina sighed. “I thought I was doing a pretty good job.”

“You were,” Marie nodded. “And if I didn’t know you so well, it might have worked. You’re seeing Keith tonight, aren’t you?”

“Just for a little bit,” Kristina said. “It’s nothing special; we’re just friends.”

“Just friends?” Marie repeated incredulously. “Say that again.”

“I’m serious,” Kristina insisted. “We are… he’s got too much baggage to make a relationship work and I’ve got—”

“A future to prepare for?” Marie finished for her.

“Well, yes,” Kristina conceded. “So until then… we’re just keeping each other company.”

“Does that involve having sex?” Marie asked.

“No, it doesn’t,” Kristina said honestly. “And that’s the truth. We aren’t sleeping together.”

“But you have before,” Marie reminded him.

“Yes,” Kristina nodded. “The first time was… well, you know… and the second time was just…”

“A mistake?” Marie suggested.

“Alright, let’s call it that. Which is why we’re going to stick to being just friends.”

“And how long do you think that’s going to last?” Marie asked, her tone smoothing out into seriousness.

Kristina sighed deeply and flopped onto her bed. “Can you
please
just give me a break here?”

“I would, if you’d just listen to me,” Marie said in frustration. “You’ve been spending a lot of time with this guy. Have you even noticed?”

“Of course I’ve—”

“He’s in a
gang
, Kristina,” Marie interrupted her. “Are you really so naïve that you can’t see what that means? He’s dangerous; he’s not good for you.”

“I told you before… this is not a long-term thing. We’re not looking to be together forever.”

“Then why waste your time with him now?” Marie countered expertly.

“Haven’t you ever heard of just… going with the flow? Having a good time? Enjoying new experiences? That’s what I’m doing.”

“Are you still going on about that?” Marie asked rolling her eyes.

“Going on about what?”

“This whole ‘I need to experiment and be reckless and freewheeling’ bullshit of yours?”

“It’s not bullshit to me.”

“I know that,” Marie said with a sigh as she softened her tone. “I don’t mean to imply that you’re stupid in any way. I just don’t see the logic in it. So what if you haven’t veered off the path very often in life? So what if you’ve followed a traditional route? It’s still a pretty great life.”

“Then why am I so dissatisfied all the time?”

“What are you saying?” Marie asked. “Keith satisfies you?”

“He… he just makes me feel… differently about things,” Kristina said. “I don’t really know how to explain it.”

Marie sighed. “Ok, fine, I gave it my best shot.”

“I swear I’m going to be smart about this,” Kristina said. “My friendship with him is separate from his life in the Dragons.”

“And you honestly don’t think they’ll be any spillover?” Marie said in disbelief. “You work at his headquarters.”

“As a receptionist,” Kristina said. “It’s a tame job, trust me.”

Marie closed her eyes and shook her head. “I’m starting to see you’re a lost cause.”

“Does that mean you’re going to stop giving me grief about my friendship with Keith?”

“Yes,” Marie said at last. “I’m going to stop giving you grief about your so called ‘friendship’ with Keith.”

“Thank you,” Kristina said, ignoring the little bit of sarcasm. “Now I’ve got to get some makeup on and get going.”

“I really am going to stop giving you a hard time about this,” Marie said. “But I can still ask questions right?”

Kristina shot her a warning look. “Sure… if they truly are innocent questions.”

“Sure, sure,” Marie said as though she wasn’t really listening. “What are you really doing with him tonight?”

“Oh,” Kristina said. “I wasn’t lying before when I said I was going to go see a movie. I really am. Keith’s coming with me.”

“He’s taking you to a movie?”

“We’re going together,” Kristina corrected, as she sat in front of her desk and applied some mascara. “I pay for my stuff and he pays for his.”

“Really?”

“Really,” Kristina nodded. “I told you we’re not dating.”

“Strange…” Marie said almost to herself.

“What’s strange?” Kristina asked.

“He just doesn’t seem like the movie-going type,” Marie said.

“I mentioned the other day that I wanted to see this movie, and he suggested we go together,” Kristina told her.

“And besides watching movies… what else do you guys do? What do you guys talk about?”

“I don’t know… we hike together every so often,” she said. “And we just talk about… normal things, nothing too heavy. Why?”

“Just curious,” Marie said.

Kristina shot her a look and then finished applying her lipstick. She concentrated on her reflection, and when she was happy with it, she got up and grabbed her bag. “Ok,” she said. “I’ll see you later then.”

“Ok,” Marie said with a wave.

Kristina left the dorm and locked the door behind her. She knew she was a little early, but she preferred to be early. Whenever she met Keith she felt as though she needed a little time beforehand to compose herself. She walked out of the dorm room block and sat down on a bench just in front of the building. It was a little cold, and she wished she had thought to bring a jacket, but she didn’t want to have to go back up again. So she stayed where she was and wrapped her hands around her body.

She thought back to the conversation she had just had with Marie. Marie was convinced that there was something romantic going on between Kristina and Keith. A few weeks ago, Kristina herself might have thought the same thing, but that had quickly changed. Since the day that they had had sex in her dorm room, nothing remotely romantic or sexual had taken place between them. It was as though Keith had shut down and put a wall up between them.

He still initiated meeting up with Kristina, but it confused her because she got the feeling that he didn’t really want to be there. He was always a little distracted, prone to daydreaming and deep thoughts that he never shared with her. Sometimes she felt almost as though he were being forced to spend time with her, but his mind was always elsewhere when he did.

Kristina wondered why she continued to accept his invitations and encourage his company. She wished that she had the will power to simply cut him off or ask him outright what he wanted from her. There was one time when she actually came close to asking the question, but then she stopped herself at the last minute. She was terrified that bringing up the topic would result in an end to their meetings, and Kristina realized that this was the last thing that she wanted.

She was going over the memory of the hike they had shared a few days ago when she heard the familiar roar of Keith’s engine. Within seconds he had driven up in front of her, and she watched as he removed his helmet to reveal waves of his ash blonde hair.

“Been waiting long?” Keith asked.

“No,” Kristina said, as she shook her head, rose, and moved towards him.

“You look cold,” Keith observed.

“I’ll be fine when we’re inside the theatre.”

Keith ignored that and shrugged out of his large leather jacket. He was wearing a t-shirt that put his impressively muscular arms on display. Kristina had to resist the urge to touch them. “Here,” he said offering it to her unconcernedly. “You need this more than I do.”

“I can manage,” she said.

“Take it,” Keith insisted firmly. “It’ll be colder when we’re on the road.”

“Thanks,” Kristina said, as she accepted his jacket and put it on. It was much too large from her, but it was deliciously warm, and it smelled of Keith. She breathed in his scent without being obvious and put on a helmet before hopping onto the seat behind him.

“How fast do you want to go today?” Keith asked.

“Fast,” Kristina said with a laugh.

“You got it,” Keith nodded as he revved his engine.

Kristina wrapped her arms around Keith’s waist, and within seconds, they were whizzing through the open road. She had always loved it on the back of his motorcycle; it was the most literal sense of freedom that Kristina could think of. There was nothing as satisfying as feeling the wind slam against your face while everything around you became a blur of images that had no hold on you.

They were at the theatre in less than no time and Kristina hopped off, wishing the ride there had been longer. Keith seemed to notice the direction of her thoughts. “You should try riding one day,” he said with a smile.

Kristina laughed. “I’d never be able to manage it. It’s too big for me to ride.”

“I don’t know… I think you’ll be able to manage it fine.”

Kristina felt a blush come on as she thought of an alternate meaning to those words, and she wondered if the same thought had occurred to Keith. She turned her face away from him so that he wouldn’t notice her discomfort and waited for her blush to settle before she looked at him again. They walked into the movie theatre, and after getting their tickets, they sat down and waited for the movie to begin.

As the lights dimmed, Kristina was unbelievably aware of a young couple a few rows down. They were locked together, their tongues entwined and their bodies pressed up close together. Kristina tried hard not to look at them, but her eyes kept flitting over to them constantly. She noticed after a moment that Keith had angled his body away from her as though he was scared to get too close. She wondered momentarily if that was just her imagination or if there was really something to it.