Savage Silence: A Dire Wolves Mission (The Devil's Dires Book 4) (10 page)

“Trying to be,” Thaus said, which was the only answer he could give.

“Are the men who did the damage taken care of?”

Thaus hated to answer that one. “Not sure. But the immediate threat is the Glaxious wolves.”

Mammon snarled deep, looking out into the wilderness as if seeking the threat they all knew was coming. “Fucking bastards aren’t coming anywhere near her.”

“Not on our watch,” Phego added, nodding his promise to Thaus. “Ooh Rah.”

A
riel felt
as if she’d somehow awakened a beast and tamed him all at the same time.

She stared at the broken counter, completely transfixed by the cracks and curves of where the two pieces had once met. Thaus had done that, had gotten worked up enough to break a piece of stone in half. Simply because of what she’d been doing to him. The thrill that gave her, the power that coursed through her at the very idea of controlling such a man…she liked it. A lot.

She feared it, too.

Her needs were building, and the mating imperative set forth by the bond between them was growing to the point that it almost eclipsed her reservations. Not completely yet, but close. Soon. It helped that Thaus was so understanding and patient. He’d broken a stone countertop while holding himself in place. Kept his hands away when she asked him to. He hadn’t pushed her to touch or be touched; he’d simply let her play as she wanted to and minded her rules when she laid them out. Being a hulking, quiet, burly man, he had a sensitive side she hadn’t seen coming. And that might end up being what would finally push her over the edge.

“Ariel.”

She spun at his voice, her heart flying and her breath catching. He leaned in through the door, watching her, not moving. He looked as if he knew he’d scared her, and she felt horrible about that. She’d been so wrapped up in the countertop and possibilities…

“Yeah?” Her voice came out soft, but it didn’t wobble. She took a deep breath and inched closer to him, wanting to feel him again. Her hands itching to touch. This need to complete the mating wasn’t easy to keep under control.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Totally. Just jumpy.”

“Because my packmates are strangers?”

She hadn’t really had time to think about that yet, but once he brought it up, the nervous flutters began in her chest. “Probably.”

Thaus grunted, shooting a quick glance over his shoulder. “I was going to invite them inside to meet you, but it can wait.”

Way to be a jackass, girl
. “No. Let them come in. I’ll be fine.”

But as he turned to leave, one more thought struck her. One that induced a sense of panic that had her leaping across the kitchen in a very inhuman way. She landed right by the door and reached for him. Voluntarily running her fingers along his arm. Needing his touch to soothe her frazzled nerves.

“You’ll be with me, right? When they…when they’re here.”

Thaus stared at her fingers on his forearm, his eyes intense but his face giving nothing away. “Every fucking second.”

“Good. Okay.” The weight on her chest lifted, letting her breathe again. Her emotions seemed to fall over the map. She’d need to address that if she was going to pull off appearing as a regular, sane woman. Bolstering herself to once again bear the brunt of separation, she took a single step back, breaking their tentative physical connection. “Then, yeah, I can meet them.”

But when he walked outside, the sense of safety and security he’d given her went with him. Ariel could barely breathe without gasping, could hardly hold still from the tremors in her hands. She was a walking, talking panic attack, and that wouldn’t do. Refusing to give in to her fears, she hurried behind the island. She felt a need for a barrier between her and these new men, wanted something to be in the way should they…do something.

She didn’t even know what it was that made her so afraid of them.

Thaus walked through the door a moment later, followed by two men who looked a lot like him on first pass. Tall, thick, muscular…poster children for soldiers and bodyguards. One had lighter hair, though, and wore it in a longer cut. The other was darker in look and the air about him. Rougher, though not as rough as her Thaus. Still, he’d be the one to worry about.

“Ariel, this is Mammon.” Thaus pointed to the lighter man. “And Phego.” Another point, this time to the darker, scary one
.

Thaus came to her side, keeping a few inches between them but standing close enough to provide that blanket of security she desperately needed. “Brothers, this is Ariel. She’s a doctor for humans and shifters, and she’s an endurance-running wolf with enough energy to keep up with me through these hills.” He glanced down at her, his eyes swirling with color like she’d never seen before. Going almost silver. “She’s also my mate.”

Ariel heard the wolf in his voice, sensed the beast close to the surface of his mind. That sound, that instinct, comforted her.

She inched closer and nodded. “Hi.”

“I don’t know how you got stuck with this big lug,” Mammon said, smiling. “But good luck to you, sweetheart.”

Phego watched her with a single-minded interest that flared every instinct she had, making her bones want to crawl out of her skin. She moved closer to Thaus, brushing his side before she even realized what she was doing. He didn’t jump or wrap an arm around her as most men probably would have. No, he stood solid and still, supporting her, waiting on her. Calming her with his touch and his presence at her side. In a moment of peace and desire that overshadowed her fears, she reached for him. Grabbed his hand and held on. Hers felt so small inside his massive one, but they fit somehow. And when he squeezed her, when his fingers cupped over hers, when he held on to her in a way that wasn’t terrifying, she felt at home. Finally.

“We should patrol,” Phego said, breaking his silence and the warm, happy feelings she’d been sinking into. Ariel’s immediate sense of discomfort around the man flared hotter and brighter. Burning her up inside. He would not be her favorite.

“I want to check the potential mudslide area you mentioned,” Thaus said, still holding her hand but going all hard and mission-focused in an instant. “See if there’s a logical way to blow it and get an idea of the damage and reward if we did.”

“I’m in on that. I love to see the master work,” Mammon said with a grin. But then his smile fell, and all three men turned to look right at her.

That uncomfortable sensation came back with a vengeance. “What?”

Thaus sighed and squeezed her hand. “I don’t want to leave you alone.”

“So, don’t. I can go wi—”

“No,” he spat before she could even finish her sentence. “That’s too dangerous. As is leaving you alone.”

And in that moment, as he stared down at her with his eyes filled with concern, the dilemma became clear. He wanted to patrol, needed to. Not like earlier, when he’d been able to stay close enough to the cabin to monitor her. No, he needed to roam farther. To spend some time in an area where he couldn’t immediately get back to her if she needed him. A thought that didn’t sit well with her, either. But this was his job, and he needed to go. Which meant she needed to be able to stay alone with a stranger. A man.

She needed to be able to lie well enough to convince him she’d be okay.

Ariel squared her shoulders and lifted her chin, calling on every bit of strength and stubbornness that had gotten her through medical school at a time when women simply didn’t do such things. The same mind-set that gave her the courage to survive every day in that torture camp until she escaped.

She called on that, and she forced a smile on her face because her mate needed her to be okay. “I’ll be fine no matter what you decide.”

Thaus stared down at her for a long minute, watching and weighing. Probably expecting a sign of weakness to appear. But Ariel was far too stubborn to let that happen. He needed her to be strong, and damn it, she wouldn’t let him down.

When she didn’t break under his scrutiny, he nodded. “Okay, then.”

Success.

Thaus glanced at the other males. “Mammon and I will patrol this round, then we’ll switch to make sure all three of us know the terrain and the plan. The last thing we need is one of us getting caught up in the slide.”

“On it,” Mammon said as he headed for the door. “It was nice to meet you, Ariel. See you later.”

“Sure.” Ariel tried to sound casual and confident, but she felt anything but. So she faked it, and she clung to Thaus’ hand in a way that kept them touching but not too much. She couldn’t break her act.

“You okay?” Thaus asked when she didn’t let him go, his voice low and quiet. Almost a whisper.

“Fine.” She gritted her teeth and plastered a smile on her face. Still clinging.

“I don’t have to go.”

“Nope. I’m good. I can do this.” And she could. She had to. She finally let go of her mate, stepping out from behind the counter on knees about as supportive as jelly so she could address Phego directly. “Can I get you something to drink or eat?”

Phego glanced at Thaus, then back to her. “Uh, sure. Ice water would be great.”

She nodded and moved about the kitchen, grabbing ice and filling a glass with water. She was about to hand it to him, about to pass it off, when he took a step forward. The size of him, the hulking shadow he cast as he stepped under the overhead light, made her gasp and jerk back. The glass fell from her hands and shattered on the hard floor.

And just like that, she knew she’d failed.

“That’s it,” Thaus said as he grabbed a towel.

“I’m sorry,” Ariel whispered, rushing to her knees so she could pick up the glass. “I’m not usually so jumpy. It’s just—”

“Stop.” Phego knelt beside her, his hand outstretched as if reaching for her but not closing the gap. Holding himself in check. “You’ll cut yourself. And don’t apologize. It’s my fault for not being more cautious when I sensed you were a bit skittish. I’m the one who should be sorry.”

“Phego, go with Mammon and get a good understanding of the terrain. We can figure something out for me to be able to investigate the slide later.” Thaus joined her, moving her hands aside and grabbing the largest pieces of glass himself. “I’ve got this.”

“On it.” Phego left without another word, joining Mammon outside. Leaving the mated pair on the floor of the kitchen.

Ariel sagged, the weight of her failure heavy and hard to carry. “I am so sorry.”

“Don’t,” he replied, his word a growl in the air as he got to his feet. A warning…one she didn’t take.

“No, really.” Ariel stood and followed him toward the trash can. “I feel like such an ass. Your brothers are going to think I’m a nutcase.”

Thaus spun, snarling loud, stalking closer. A man pissed off and ready to attack. Ariel backed into the island, too turned on by his show to be afraid.

“My brothers will think you’re amazing and strong for being able to survive what you did, not to mention they’ll be impressed that you escaped. We saw that hell, remember? We went into the holding cabins. We pulled out the women left. We
know
.” He pushed closer, his warmth bathing her even though he kept enough space between them so as not to pin her in place.

“Thaus,” she whispered, having no idea what she was asking for.

His growl dropped and slowed, becoming almost purr-like. “They’ll also never think poorly of you because they know I’d rip their fucking faces off if I found out.”

“You say the sweetest things.” Ariel leaned forward, resting her forehead against his chest. “Why am I so messed up?”

He hummed but didn’t hold her tighter. Didn’t move to embrace her in any way, and somehow, Ariel found herself wishing for it. Almost craving it. She inched closer, bringing her hands to his biceps. Holding him. Surrendering to the need to touch. Thaus stood absolutely still. Quiet and calm as he allowed her to take from him. Waiting. Giving her the power to do as she wanted. As she needed.

And by the gods, did she suddenly need to feel him.

Closer still, she let her breasts press into his chest. “Thaus.”

He growled again, shaking a bit this time. Obviously holding back for her. And while she could understand him denying himself, why was she? She wanted to touch more of him, wanted to know how he felt against her. Why was she waiting?

When she couldn’t come up with any answers, she closed her eyes and knew her waiting was over. On a single breath and in one quick move, she fell forward and wrapped herself around him.

“Please,” she whispered, holding tighter. “I need to feel you. I need you to…hug me back.”

It took Thaus far longer than she’d expected to move. Long enough that she’d begun to doubt he would. But then he began to curl his body over hers, slowly wrapping his arms around her back. Letting her feel his intentions and direction with every agonizing inch he claimed. And when he was finished, when he held her as tightly as she held him, her body sagged in relief. A hug. Her first hug in years.

“I can feel your tension,” Thaus said, keeping his voice soft.

She snuggled closer, enjoying the warmth and the closeness. Letting her hands slide where they chose to. Letting her mind go to the place that frightened her more than just about anything at that moment. “They’re coming, aren’t they?”

Thaus didn’t hesitate with his answer. “Yes.”

“Can we stop them?”

“If we work together.”

“So you’ll fight them? Just the three of you against that pack?”

He pulled back, meeting her gaze with the strength of his own. “For you. I’ll fight to the death for you, and my brothers will do the same because you’re one of us. You’re part of the Dire pack, and we never leave one of our own behind.”

And somehow, she believed him.

T
haus wasn’t
sure what about that moment in the kitchen changed the dynamic between him and his mate. One second, he was doing his best to keep her calm and fight the need to touch her, and the next, he was holding her tightly. Surrounding her smaller body with his own. Holding her up, it seemed, as something shifted between them.

Something good, he sensed.

And hours later, after much holding, swaying, talking, and waiting, after his brothers had come back and quickly laid out what they’d seen before they disappeared into the night to leave the two mated shifters alone, that shift remained. Ariel was more open to him, less walled off. And he had no idea what that meant.

“You should get some sleep,” she whispered against his chest. The words sent a shiver up his spine. One he did his best to control so she didn’t notice.

“I will if you will.”

“How can I sleep when I know they’re coming for me?”

“Ditto.” He gripped her hip, pulling her tighter into his embrace. “But you need to rest.”

“I will if you will.”

His snorted laugh brought forth a giggle from his mate. A sound he instantly fell in love with and wanted to hear more often.

“Using my words against me, huh?” He pulled back, resting his cheek against her forehead and inhaling her sweet scent. “How about I put you to bed and promise to get a little shut-eye myself once I’m sure the guys are good outside?”

“How about you check on the guys and
then
put me to bed…so you can join me there?”

It took Thaus far longer than it should have to filter through the letters and syllables, to find meaning among the phonetics. And when he did, when her words finally made sense to him, he locked his body in place.

“There’s only one bed.”

Ariel ran her nails across the width of his shoulders in a move that made his cock swell in an almost painful way. “I know. I slept in it already, remember?”

Think, idiot. Think…with your brain
. “We’d have to share it.”

“I figured that out as well.” Her hands slid across his hips and up his back, pulling him slightly closer with each pass. “I’m enjoying the first hug I’ve felt in years. I’m not ready to end it just yet.”

The heaven of her embrace, the hell of her request. Once again, his mate threw him into a pit of indecision. One that lasted far too long.

Ariel sighed. “You don’t have to.”

At the sadness in her voice, the shyness, he growled. “Fuck, baby. I want nothing more than to wrap you in my arms and hold you all night long. But this is still so new.”

“I know,” she whispered, sounding surer than he would have expected. “But I feel it. The connection between us. I want to feed it.”

Thaus sighed, eyes closing as he kissed her forehead again. This decision, this contemplation, was as brutal as any he’d ever had to make. Of
course,
he wanted to share a bed with her. To wrap her in his arms and keep her safe as she rested. That was an innate wolf instinct—to care for their mates. But as much as she may have thought she was ready, Thaus worried she wasn’t. What if he crawled into bed and she panicked? Or worse, she completely retreated behind the walls she’d built around herself? He refused to push her, to make her fear him, to do something that would unravel the fragile bond between them.

But how could he refuse her without making it seem as if he was overriding her decision?

“I’ll make you a deal,” he said as he pulled himself out of her embrace. “You get ready for bed, and I’ll check in with my pack. When I come back, if you still want me with you, I’ll…agree to share the bed.”

But his words didn’t seem to entice her at all. Instead, they quite obviously angered her. She crossed her arms over her chest and cocked her head in a way that screamed trouble.

“Gee, way to be enthusiastic.”

“Hang on.” Thaus ran his fingers over the back of her hand before encircling it in his own, larger one. Always aware of how easily his woman spooked. “Baby, there is nothing—and I mean
nothing
—I want more than you in my arms. But I’m not going to push you or do anything that might ruin what we’re building here. You say you want me in your bed? I’m in…once I give you time to retract that request.” He tugged her closer, looping one arm around her hips in a slow and precise move he prayed wouldn’t be a trigger. “You are my priority, always. I don’t want you to feel pressured in any way.”

Ariel sighed, sagging into his hold. “Okay. I get it.”

“Do you?”

“Totally.” She pulled back and smiled up at him. “Go check in. I’ll be waiting in the bedroom for you.”

“Hmmm.” He leaned in for a quick kiss—their first one—before practically breaking his soul in two to back away from her. “Give me ten minutes.”

His mate sent him a smile he saw right through. “Okay.”

“I promise,” he said as he opened the door. “Ten minutes, tops.”

“I’ll be counting.”

Me too
, he thought as he stepped out into the night. Thaus took a deep breath and held it before sighing. What a couple of days. What a glorious, confusing, perfectly madhouse time. One he doubted he would ever forget, for it was when his Ariel came blasting through his life.

It took him longer to force himself off the back porch than it did to find Phego. The Dire was closer than Mammon, sitting in the darkness of the woods a mere hundred yards from the cabin.

“You pull easy duty tonight?” Thaus asked as he walked up to the spot where he knew the wolf would be. He couldn’t see the beast yet, but he sensed him. Smelled him, too.

“Mammon still owed me from that bullshit in Texas he pulled when he met Charmeine. I’m finally collecting,” Phego said once he shifted to his human form. “What’s up?”

Thaus stared out across the wild lands below them, even his wolf vision not giving him much of a view. “I wanted to check in.”

“We’ve got this. Go take care of your mate.”

But Thaus’ mind had begun to spin, thoughts of the next day and the strategies they’d decided upon creating static and noise. The truth too loud to ignore. “I’m the weapons expert, the only one trained in high-level explosives. I’m going to have to set the charges.”

Phego must have understood exactly where Thaus’ mind had gone because he didn’t miss a single beat in responding. “Yep, which is why you should take advantage of your time with Ariel now. Come tomorrow, we can’t have you backing out because she gets scared. As much as we all want her safe and calm and trusting of us, we’ve got shit to do that requires your attention. She can’t impede that.”

Thaus growled, the harsh sound breaking the still night apart. “Don’t judge her for her fears. She’s obviously got some sort of PTSD.”

“Yeah, I know. I figured that out within fifteen seconds of meeting her.” Phego stood and leaned against a tree, arms crossed over his chest. “Tomorrow’s going to be hard on all of us if she gets triggered. Whether it’s me or Mammon who ends up staying with her as protection, we’re going to have to deal with that pain and fear the entire time you’re gone. And while I know that’s nothing compared to what you’ll be dealing with, feeling that through your mating bond, it’s still going to be brutal. So don’t think I’m faulting her for cracking under the pressure. I’m damn surprised she made it out of that hell with any sort of sanity whatsoever. And impressed.”

Thaus released a breath, almost growling into the night. “Sorry. I’m…out of my element.”

“No shit. Who wouldn’t be?” Phego gave him a moment of silence, a few seconds’ break from thinking of all the things, to just be. One that didn’t last nearly long enough. “Mammon and I will take care of her when we have to, but you’re the only one who can build her up enough to hang strong while we do that. Go keep her as calm and relaxed as you can tonight. We’ll have your back and hers tomorrow.”

Thaus had always known his brothers would come through for him no matter what, but hearing those words from Phego resonated in a way he hadn’t expected. They’d take care of Ariel, of course, they would. But he had a job to do first.

“Thanks, man,” Thaus said as he turned to leave Phego behind.

“Paybacks are a bitch, you know.”

Thaus thought of Mammon, running through the dark, unfamiliar forest and rocky outcroppings. And he grinned. “So I’ve heard.”

With Phego’s chuckle still in his ears, Thaus hurried back to the cabin still in human form. It would have taken less time in wolf form, but his shoulder practically creaked with every swing of his arm, and he didn’t want to injure it more considering the fight headed their way. If the mud and rock fell as he hoped it would, there’d be no hand-to-hand combat needed. But he wasn’t relying on that one defensive maneuver to succeed completely, not when it was Ariel at risk.

Speaking of which…

His mate was standing in the kitchen when he walked inside. And she looked worried.

Thaus nearly leapt across the kitchen to her side. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, I just…” She shook her head, smiling up at him. “I was getting anxious.”

A quick glance at the clock confirmed his suspicions—nine minutes had passed. His Ariel had probably been staring at that same clock, hopeful and filled with dread all at once.

Thaus surrendered to his need to touch her by reaching out to run his fingers over the length of her arm. “I promised.”

“I know, I just…worried.”

“That I wouldn’t come back?”

Ariel shrugged. “I don’t know.”

But she did. Thaus knew she did deep inside. She worried he’d disappear from her life and she’d be left alone again, the same way he worried for her. Two sides of the same coin.

And he would do his best to make sure she understood that.

“Ariel, you are my fated mate. My perfect match. You are the one being in all of history that is the right fit to claim my heart. I will always come back for you. Whether from a fight or from death itself; nothing will ever take me from you unless you want me gone. And I pray to every god in the universe that day never comes.”

A
riel could hardly breathe
. Something inside of her broke with Thaus’ words. Something that felt like the foundation of one of the barriers she’d built within herself. The broken bits cracked and slid, causing the wall sitting atop them to fall into nothing more than a pile of rock and dust. Debris of her past littering her soul. That wall falling opened up a section of her mind she’d long since hidden away, freed thoughts and needs she’d never expected to have again. It gave her the freedom to accept that she didn’t want anything between her and the man the fates had chosen for her. No mental walls or physical space, not even clothes. The mating imperative burned through her in an inferno she couldn’t contain. He was preparing to fight an entire pack for her, an unknown number of shifters coming specifically for her, and she might lose him in the battle.

She was ready to accept him as hers. Fully.

“Thaus?”

“Yeah?”

But when the time came, the words refused to come. Wall or no wall, the decision to join with him in a full mating was one that required a lot of thought and care. She wouldn’t jump into it.

“I want to examine your shoulder.”

Thaus appeared almost as surprised as she felt. “You…what?”

But the more she thought about it, the more sense it made. She needed to find
her
place. Her comfort zone. And she was most comfortable when she was in her role as a doctor, far more so than her new role as a mate.

“You’re favoring your other arm and barely moving the one with the residual pain issues. Obviously, it’s bothering you. I want to examine it.” Ariel rubbed her hand over his arm, trying to find words to make this clear to him. To get him to understand. “I know who I am when I’m a doctor. Let me be her for a bit.”

He sighed, seeming to sag under her very gaze. “Okay.”

“Yeah?”

“Sure. Why not?” Without pausing, he yanked his shirt over his head, hopped up onto the island countertop, and lay on his chest so she could see his back. “This good?”

Her wolf practically purred. The smooth skin, the muscles, the single, ugly scar on the one side that proved his prowess and strength. Yeah, this was good. Too good.

“It’s fine,” she said, a little breathlessly. She started her examination by running her fingers along the puckered scar. “You said you’ve had multiple surgeries?”

Thaus moaned an affirmative response. “Seven. Probably needing an eighth soon if the pain is any indication.”

She prodded the edges of the wound, then pressed deeper in the center. Letting the feel of muscle and bone center her on the task. “What do they do in these surgeries?”

“Rebreak the bone and try to align the joint for a smoother fit.”

“But it doesn’t work.”

“Nope.” Thaus growled in a sexy sort of way as she smoothed the palms of her hands over his shoulder. “That feels good.”

And it did. The warmth of his skin under hers, the ease with which she could touch and feel him. It felt really, really good. Almost too good.

“You should let me try,” she said, expanding the path of her hands. Moving from examination into exploration.

Thaus tilted his head, an odd sort of look on his handsome face. “You want to operate on me?”

“Why not?”

He shrugged, closing his eyes as she kept stroking his bare skin. “I could never do that.”

“Operate?”

“Yeah. I mean, no, not
just
operate. On you, specifically. I wouldn’t want to hurt you.”

Ariel’s heart practically sang for him. Something about his words, about the tone he used and the promise behind them, pushed her past the final hurdle holding her back. They set her free in a way that nothing else—not a single promise or a plea for her to understand—ever could have.

“Sit up,” she whispered, needing to see his face.

Thaus did as she asked, and then he slid off the counter. Standing before her in all his shirtless glory. Staring down at her as if he knew what she was about to do. About to say.

“Thaus?”

“Yeah?”

Deep breath. “I want to go to bed with you.”

He didn’t jerk back, didn’t seem shocked at all, really. He simply stood as strong and still as he always had. And he watched her as he gave her an out. “You know that means—”