Saved (Lucifer's Legion Motorcycle Club #4) (4 page)

I stride into the woods, into the nearly pitch-black darkness. Animal noises sound like the most fuckin’ sense I’ve heard in days, and I let the sense of emptiness and danger hook me further in. I get about a mile in and stop. I breathe deep, lettin’ my eyes adjust to the darkness. The moon is nearly full, and it lets me get a bearin’ on my surroundings.

There’s an old newspaper nearby, and I kick it into a flat piece of dirt, then I walk around a little while, pickin’ up the driest branches and logs I can find in the dark. When I have enough to fill my arms, I go back and drop them onto the newspaper. Then I crouch down, and pull out my lighter.

The fire roars into life, then sizzles and crackles as it bites and grabs at the wood. I give it a minute and soon it starts really goin’, yellow light flickerin’ around me in the woods, between the trees, along the dirt. Ghosts and shadows dancin’ nearby. I feel at home. Like this is where I belong. A sore, lonely animal in the woods. A fuckin’ monster on the run.

I put my hand over the fire. It hurts, but it feels right. Feels like fuckin’ justice. Payback. I stand there, watchin’ the flames get higher and higher, hungrier and hungrier.

Then I take off my cut.

I hold it above the flames.

“Fuck the club. I ain’t a brother to no one.”

I drop it and watch the flames snap and jump like a beggin’ dog. The stink of the burnin’ leather hits my nose, and I watch the dollar sign turn to black.

I can’t give Angel what she needs. Shit. The longer I’m with her, the softer I get. The more she has me under her fuckin’ spell. She’s makin’ me weak, and with people out there lookin’ to kill me, that’s the last fuckin’ thing I can afford to be right now.

She’s got to go.

I pull out Randy’s revolver and flick the cylinder open. Four bullets left.

Fuck.

I can’t do it. I could stand out here all fuckin’ night buildin’ up a case for it. It makes perfect fuckin’ sense. The easiest way out. But I can’t do it. I’d come within five feet of her and sooner put the barrel to my own fuckin’ temple than shoot her. I think about Lilith in the desert, and it hurts me in the gut like a long lost injury.

The last flickers of the flame die out, puttin’ me back into complete darkness, and I take it as a cue to get the hell out of there.

When I get back to the motel I check the corners for any bikes, or any sign of Randy. I check the door, and I’m relieved when I find it’s still locked. I get inside slowly, shut it behind me, and get undressed.

Angel’s on the other side of the bed, facin’ away. I slip under the covers, and I’m nearly gone the second my head hits the pillow. I didn’t realize how fuckin’ beat I was.

A hand on my chest wakes me up. I open my eyes, and in the striped, dim light that bleeds through the half-closed shutters I see the delicate contours of Angel’s face. She’s breathing slowly, but deeply. I feel her sweet breath against my cheek.

“You don’t have to…”

Her finger goes to my mouth, shuttin’ me up.

“I want to.”

Her lips press against mine. I ain’t kissed a bitch in years of trainin’, now Angel’s the second one I’ve kissed in a week. This is worlds apart from Lilith’s thrashin’, hungry, lusty tongue. Angel’s lips are soft, round; like the sweetest fuckin’ fruit I ever tasted.

She slides on top of me and I hold her tightly. Her bare breasts press and rub against my chest, her panties are off, and she rubs her clit against the bulge of my boxers. 

I sit up so I can get at her tits. As soon as I see them I put my mouth on them, suckin’ and bitin’, I can’t fuckin’ stop. Her body drives me fuckin’ crazy, and the bitch is movin’ right with me. Her tongue lashes in my ear, her clit is still massagin’ my cock, her thighs squeeze around my waist. She’s getting’ me so fuckin’ high.

“I want your pussy on my face,” I say, just like last time. Except this ain’t like last time. I don’t need to teach this bitch shit. This ain’t a teacher and a pupil, a trainer and a slave; we’re fuckin’ ‘cause we want each other, we need each other, we’ve only got each other.

I slide under her and grab those perfect thighs, as Angel grabs the headboard, guidin’ her clit onto my lips. I blow on it gently, then softly flick it. She pushes and pulls on top of me. It’s like we’re fuckin’ dancin’, playin’ hard to get with each other. I softly run one finger over her pussy lips, pressin’ it inside with gentle strokin’ motions. I pull off my boxers with my other hand and grab a hold of my dick.

The bitch is wet, strugglin’ not to stick her clit in my mouth. I smack her ass cheeks, then grab them and push them away, Angel pushes back. I want this to go on forever. I need this bitch to come. I want her to drown me with come. I run my tongue from asshole to clit and back. Her hands go to my head, pullin’ at my hair.

I start tongue-fuckin’ her, tastin’ deep inside. Her thighs start to shake, squeezin’ against my head, raisin’ and lowerin’ her pussy above my head.

She moans deeply and comes over my face, her pussy squeezin’ my tongue. Her pussy slams hard into me, and I lick as much as I can of her delicious fuckin’ scent.

“Stop,” she says, her voice stammerin’. “I want you inside me.”

I flip her over onto her back and bring my cock to her pussy, it’s still throbbin’ from her orgasm, but the bitch has more in her. I slam inside, and her pussy squeezes my cock deeper still.

Our eyes lock, and I’m turned on more than I’ve ever been with a bitch before. I fuck her like I’ve never fucked in my life. I feel every shiver of her body, every pulse of her pussy. We move against each other, grindin’ our lusts together like we’re gonna get to fuckin’ heaven. All the while our eyes are fixed together like we’re reachin’ into one another’s soul.

I can’t fuckin’ hold back, it feels like a force from God is makin’ me wanna come. Angel pulls my dick out and aims it at her. I shoot into her face, she pulls my cock down to her breasts and my load falls onto her fat pink nipples.

Waves of the sweetest fuckin’ feelin’ wash over my whole fuckin’ body. Angel licks the come from her lips, from her nipples, then drops back onto the bed, her chest heaving as the afterglow sends tingles down her spine.

We go to the shower together, lettin’ the hot flow turn our bodies wet together. Runnin’ our hands all over each other’s limbs. I don’t know why, but I feel like I’m undone, wrecked. Maybe it was the sex, but somethin’ inside me has shattered. This time, though, I like it. I feel fuckin’ good, just standin’ in the shower with this bitch, watchin’ the water run down her body, rubbin’ the soapsuds over her neck.

It’s cramped as hell, so our bodies brush up close, and I start getting’ ready to fuck again, but somethin’ stops me. Like the moment is too fuckin’ sweet. Like I have to hold back somethin’.

Like I know that was the last time.

There’s fire, and I’m walkin’ through it naked. Angel’s somewhere in the flames, and I’m lookin’ for her. I can feel the flames against my skin but they don’t hurt. Then I see her. She’s screamin’. Burnin’ up. I run to her, and cover her with my body, to protect her. The flames start hurtin’ now. I can feel my flesh getting’ hot. I can feel my skin begin to peel, I scream in pain…

“Hey, you ok?”

I wake up feelin’ like I just slammed into a fuckin’ wall. My body’s hot, my blood pumpin’.

Angel puts a cool hand against my face, and it feels good against my hot, sweaty skin.

“It’s nothin’.”

I look at her. Seein’ her face next to me calms me down a little, makes me feel a little fuckin’ cooler, but I feel a whole new sense of frustration and edginess lookin’ at her.

“I need a drink,” I say, getting’ out of bed and walkin’ to the kitchen. I feel like somethin’ is pullin’ at me. A naggin’ feelin’ in my gut that somethin’ needs to be done. Soon.

I turn on the tap and put my head under it, gulpin’ down water into my dry throat. I splash some on my face. Angel walks into the kitchen.

“Coffee?” she asks. I nod.

I can’t be near her. I can’t look at her. I go to the bathroom, lock the door, and sit on the toilet, my head in my hands. Today. I have to do somethin’ today.

“Coffee’s done,” Angel calls from the other side of the bathroom door. I realize I’ve been sittin’ in there for a full ten minutes, just losin’ my mind, barely able to think. I have to get my shit together. Maybe coffee will help.

I join Angel in the room. There’s a little table by the window, and Angel has the cups there. She’s opened the shutters. I sit opposite her, lookin’ out of them, avoidin’ those eyes…

“Is there something…” Angel trails off. Maybe she sees the fire burnin’ inside me, the ragin’ fuckin’ forces that are beatin’ the shit out of each other, with me in the middle. I gulp my coffee.

“I feel a lot better,” Angel says.

I turn away from the window to look at her.

“Am I supposed to care?”

“I just thought--”

“You thought wrong, bitch. You don’t think at all when you’re with me, ok?”

Angel stiffens and looks at me, her eyes wide.

“O-ok.”

“Good,” I say. The frustration is fillin’ up in me, burstin’ to get out, and she’s close enough to feel it.

I can’t let myself get close to her. I can’t let her inside. She’s already under my skin. Makin’ me feel things I don’t wanna feel, think things that I don’t wanna be thinkin’.

This bitch will destroy me.

I grab my cup and throw it as hard as I can against the wall. It explodes, sendin’ black liquid showerin’ into the room.

“The fuck is this?! What is wrong with me? Sittin’ around havin’ coffee like some… Like it’s…”

I stand up, and the room spins, my feet unsteady. Angel gets up too. She’s scared, but she comes to me, and I feel her hand touch mine. I spin around, grab her, and slam her up against the wall.

“
You
did this!
You
fuckin’ ruined me! Everything I had is gone. My entire fuckin’
life!”

I throw her down to the floor, standin’ over her.

“What? Did you think this is how it’s gonna be? You think I’m gonna go on the run? That
we’re
gonna go on the run together? Hidin’ out in shitty motel rooms like a couple of fuckin’ runaway kids?” I crouch over her, bringin’ my face close to hers. “You think you can
tame
me, bitch? Turn me into your fuckin’
boyfriend.
I’m a biker, bitch. And you’re just along for the fuckin’ ride.”

A glint of light catches my eye and I notice the gun on the table. I grab it and point it at Angel, at those eyes. There’s no fear in them.

I have to kill her. I know it. Pain and misery swell up inside me, but at its core is the cold, hard truth that we can’t be together, that as long as I have her by my side I’ll lose everything I am. The person I spent my entire fuckin’ life fightin’ to be will get blown away, piece by piece, every extra minute I spend around this bitch. One of us has to go, and I’m the only one with the strength to do it.

As I gaze at her tender face, her slender body, she gets to her knees. Her eyes look straight back at me. She’s not afraid to die. She’s seen too much. Death is not an end for her, it’s a sweet fuckin’ relief. She places her hands around the gun barrel, and guides it towards her. Pressin’ the cold steel against her forehead, her eyes still fixed on mine in a blank expression.

Just like Lilith in the desert.

I should have killed her then, but I couldn’t. It was the start of the whole thing. The start of my fuckin’ ruin. How many times since then have I wished to turn the clock back so I could do it? So that I could pull the trigger and fix everything. So that I’d never have to turn on my brothers, on my club. Never have to compromise. Never have to think. Just go on trainin’ bitches and enjoyin’ life, instead of all this…

Now’s my chance to set it right. It’s not quite the same, but it’s the best I’m gonna get.  Kill Angel and be free. Free to ride, find a new fuckin’ town, get trainin’ again. Learn from my mistakes and be stronger, tougher, ruthless…

My hand starts shakin’. Waves of anger and pain wash over me. The room spins. I look back at her eyes and they’re the only still point in a world that’s blurry, that’s gone fuckin’ sideways. I’d follow those eyes anywhere, like fuckin’ beacons in the night. I’d follow them to my fuckin’ doom. That’s why Angel has to go.

I close my eyes, and steady my hand. I start to squeeze the trigger. Then I feel her hands on my jeans. Slow, careful. Unbuttoning them.

“No…”

She doesn’t stop. She pulls out my cock. I wasn’t even hard, but just thinkin’ about her beautiful face near my cock makes the blood rush into it.

Her lips close around the head of my dick.

“Stop…”

The gun is at my side now, my other hand is in her hair, grabbin’ and pullin. I open my eyes and see her, slowly runnin’ her tongue around the head of my cock, kissin’ it with those soft, perfect lips. I press the barrel of the gun against the side of her head, but it’s a fuckin’ half-assed idea, and I know it. Her wet mouth feels too good. She’s suckin’ my cock soft and hard, like she fuckin’ means it. Like she’s tryin’ to take all the hurt out of me, all the pain and confusion. Her tongue strokes the bottom, urgin’ me to come, to give her the thing that’s achin’ deep inside.

I come long and hard into her mouth. She swallows it down and sucks for more, drinkin’ every last drop of me. Binding me to her. Savourin’ my taste as it runs down her throat. For a few seconds I don’t care about anything but comin’ into this bitch’s mouth. I feel like I could take on the fuckin’ world, that I’d put down any fucker who stood in the way of this feelin’.

I look down at her. The gun is by my side, my other hand to her face. She puts her hand on mine and presses her face into my palm. She kisses it, and the gesture makes me ache deep inside again. I can’t do it. I can’t be with a bitch who can break me so easily. But I can’t kill somethin’ so beautiful either.

I’m fuckin’ screwed.