Saved (Tempted #2) (16 page)

The dance floor was packed with happy couples dancing to the melancholy song falling from the speakers. And for that moment I was one of them.

I knew when I woke up in the morning everything could possibly change. And more than likely it would.

“Angel, what’s bothering you?” West asked, kissing my hair.

“Just tired.”

Tell him, Maddie. Beat Luca to it.

“
I can’t wait until it’s our wedding day,” he said as we spun around in circles and swayed to the soft beat.

I couldn’t tell him. I didn’t want to see his face when he found out. I wish I would have braver. I wish I would have been honest with him from the very start. But I wasn’t and now I was going to have to pay for it.

“I rented us a room, so when you want to go to bed we can go up,” he said, tighten his grip on me, “My parents finally left town, so I thought we could celebrate.”

“When did they leave?”

“This morning,” he said and his tone told me that’s all he wanted to say about them.

So I dropped it.

Emma and Roman’s wedding took place at the Grand. It was the biggest nicest resort in town. Well, it was the nicest thing we had in town.

Everything was covered in crystal and white roses. It was like a dream. Her lace gown showed off her bump and her hair was braided into an up-do. She was the most beautiful bride I had ever seen.

And the bridesmaids wore lavender.

It was just like she always wanted. And to make it even better she was marrying Roman Charles.

The man of her dreams.

“I love you,” I told him, wanting to forever stay in that moment.

I planned on telling him I loved him all night, as much as I possibly could.

“I love you, Angel. Always have, always will.”

I hoped that was still true in the morning. I prayed he still felt that way when Luca told him everything I should have told him a long time ago.

“Ladies and gentlemen, can I have your attention?” Roman’s voice echoed through the reception.

Everyone turned to face the beaming groom. The happiness he was feeling was just radiating off of him. And watching him look at Emma made me forget about all my trouble.

They had been through hell and back together. And yet here they were. Man and wife. So, maybe, just maybe, there was hope me West and me.

“We have an announcement to make. Emma and I are thrilled to announce to all our friends and family that we are expecting a baby girl,” he said just before the roar of applause and cheers drowned him out.

I felt a real smile appear on my face. All night I had been pretending like I was happy because I knew what was going to happen tomorrow.

“She got just what she wanted,” I told West, jumping up and down.

“I know, Angel. And from the looks of it you just got just what you wanted too,” he said, lauging.

He was right. She wanted a girl and that’s what I wanted her to have. We could dress her up and take her shopping.

After getting congratulations and getting crazy amounts of rice thrown on them they made their way to their room. and with all of those hormones running through Emma, Roman was in for a wild night.

“Are you ready to go to bed?” West whispered in my ear.

Nodding, I placed my hand in his and let him lead me to the lobby of the hotel.

“I got us one on the first floor, so we won’t have to climb a million flights of stairs,” he joked.

I did my best at convincing him that I was in a good mood. And I hoped he bought it.

He unlocked the door and pushed it open. Seeing West in a tux and unlocking a hotel room brought me back to the night of my senior prom.

We both went solo because at the time our relationship was a secret. But after prom we met in one of the hotel rooms. And it was one of the best nights of my life by far.

“Angel, I think it’s safe to say I know you better than anyone, right?” West asked, unzipping my dress as I looked in the mirror.

The lavender chiffon pooled around my feet as West placed kisses on my shoulder.

“Right,” I said, trying to command the tears to go away.

That was half true. He knew nearly everything about me but not everything.

“I can tell something’s not right. So, instead of the super sexy, dirty night I had planned we are going to get in our pajamas and cuddle. Let’s talk about our wedding. Or about things we haven’t talked about in a while. Let’s go down memory lane. Let’s fall asleep in each other’s arms,” he said, rummaging through my overnight bag that he must have put in the room himself.

Pulling his t shirt that I loved to sleep in over my head, he smiled at me through the mirror. He scooped me up in his arms and placed me under the blanket.

After he got me squared away he stripped until he was left standing in his underwear. Walking toward the bed, he crawled under the covers.

“Do you not want to marry me?” he asked, his voice filling the awkward silence.

That question stunned me.

“No, Babe. What would make you think that?”

“I don’t know. You’re just acting strange. You haven’t even smiled today.”

“That’s not true. I’ve smiled all day.”

“You’ve smiled with your mouth but not with your eyes.”

I thought for sure I was fooling everyone. And maybe I did fool everyone else. But I should have known I couldn’t fool West. It was like he had a radar on me every time something was wrong.

“I’m just tired and I have had a small headache today. It was a stubborn one,” I told him, deciding it was best not mention that that headache had a name.

And it was Luca.

“Here, I’ll rub your head,” he said, leaning against the headboard and put the pressure of his hands on my head.

My headache wasn’t a complete lie. I was tense and worried, so I needed something to relax me. I needed to feel close to him tonight. Because I had no idea if this would be the last time I would be able to lay in a bed with him. I didn’t know if this was the last time he would hold me close. And I didn’t know if this was the last time he would ever touch me.

“What kind of wedding do you want? Big or small?”

When I was little I always wanted a big wedding. I wanted the poufy princess dress and the five tier cake. The full rose bouquet. The works.

And all that sounded great but that was the eleven year old me. But the 20 year old me wanted a small, intimate wedding. Something with meaning. Something to focus on the true meaning of marrying someone.

“Small. Just us and the people who love us. I want it to be in your grandparent’s back yard by the tire swing. I want it to be in the summer. I want to have lemonade and I want our first dance to be a mix of all of our songs. How about you?” I asked, rubbing his hand.

“That sound perfect to me. I just want to watch you walk down the aisle to me.”

Why did he have to be so perfect?

It hurt to tell him everything I wanted for our wedding when I knew deep down that there was a chance that it might not happen. There was a chance he would find his our happily ever after with someone else.

And even without it happening or even knowing who she might be. I was already envious of her.

“I love you. Never ever doubt that, okay?” I pleaded, moving closer to him.

His hand that was rubbing my head came to a stop.

“I know you, Angel. I have never doubted that. Even when you pretended like you couldn’t stand me. I knew better. What we’ve got is real,” he told me, leaning down to kiss my forehead.

It was dark so I could let the tears fall down my face without him noticing.

I had never give him a reason to doubt me but after he found out what I kept from him he would doubt my love for him.

Secrets were like diseases they eat at you until you have nothing left. They destroy lives. I would know.

“I love you,” I told him once again because he had to know that I meant it.

I needed him to know. That way whenever Luca released my secret into his head he would know that I really love him and care for him.

“I love you,” he whispered, rubbing my hair.

His voice came through the darkness and filled my ears. There was something about hearing West say those three words. It was something I would ever get sick of hearing especially from him.

“My parents want the house. They want to move back here,” he said and I could hear the strain in his voice.

I knew exactly what he was talking about. They wanted Frank and Marion’s house, West’s childhood home.

“What about you grandfather?”

“He wants us to move in with him and take the house. And that’s what I want. I think it’s the perfect house for us. I mean if you want to,” he asked, pausing as he waited for my reply.

Everything I ever wanted was happening. There was no other place I would have rather made more memories with West than the place that we already had so many.

From that kitchen where I taught West how to unsuccessfully bake cookies, to the storm shelter where countless things had happened for us. And the tire swing in the back yard that we spend so many summer days and nights on.

That house was a part of us. I wanted us to live there and raise our kids. But that was yet another dream that might not happen now as well.

“That sounds like a plan to me, Babe. You know I love that house,” I said barely above a whisper.

I didn’t have to turn around to know that he was smiling like a kid on Christmas morning.

“I’m so happy,” he said, removing his hands from my head and lying down next to me, “And it’s all because of you.”

I didn’t know what else to say, so I pretended to be falling asleep.

“Go to sleep, Angel. I love you.”

“I love you,” I whispered back and then steadied my breathing.

When it hit me that that might have been the last time I would tell him I loved him. I silently cried.

I cried until I fell sleep.

Maybe when I wake up it will all be a dream. Wait, not a dream.

A nightmare. Yeah, that’s more like it.

Bringing my hands to my rub my raw eyes, I turned to face West. But he wasn’t there. Panic began to set in. Was he with Luca? Did he know already?

Jumping up from the bed, I grabbed my phone from the nightstand. Turning it on, I dialed West’s number.

No answer.

I tried to text.

No reply.

I tried calling again.

No answer.

So, I decided to call Roman.

No answer.

Next, I tried Ethan.

Thankfully he picked up.

“Hello?” he asked and I could hear someone screaming in the background.

“Is West with you? I’ve been trying to call him. Who’s that screaming?” I asked, sweating bullets.

“Yeah, he’s with me. And that’s him screaming.” He answered and it sounded like he was mad at me.

“Can I talk to him?”

“He doesn’t want to talk to you, Maddie. If he did he would have answered.”

“Can you at least tell me what happened?”

I already knew the answer but I was holding out hope that maybe just maybe I was wrong.

“You know what happened,” he told me just as I heard West’s voice getting closer to the phone.

“Give me that phone!” West’s voice boomed through my phone speaker.

“Babe, what’s wrong?”

“Don’t call me that. You wanna know what happened? Luca told me everything. He called me this morning and asked me to meet him in the lobby of the hotel. After he told me I couldn’t stand the thought of having to look at you, so I ran up and grabbed my stuff,” he said, screaming into the phone, “When were you going to tell me, huh? How could you keep that from me? How could you not tell me about the baby?”

The night of my accident I was going to tell West that we were expecting a baby. But after seeing him with Marilyn I’d had a change of heart. When I went to the hospital they informed me that I had lost the baby. Our baby. I knew I should have told West when it happened but I was still so angry at him.

And as time went on I didn’t want him to blame himself. So, I kept it a secret. I locked it away.

That’ why I always wore my angel wing necklace. He always thought it was because of him. And in a way it was because it wasn’t just my loss, it was ours.

“I was going to tell you. I promise I was,” I said as the hot tears streamed down my face.

“Quit crying, Maddie. I’m the one that should be crying. We lost a baby and you didn’t tell me. Not just you. I lost the baby too.”

“I was going to tell you but then I saw you with Marilyn. I let my anger cloud my judgment.”

“Don’t try to turn this around on me. I apologized for that. I’m going to hang up and please don’t call my phone. Leave me alone.”

“What about the wedding?”

“What wedding?”

Hearing him say that, I winced.

“I’m sorry. I love you,” I told him, falling to my knees.

“I don’t forgive you. And I love you too but I can’t trust you,” he said just before I heard a click.

He hung up. He had given up on us and it was all my fault.

Sobbing, I started rocking back and forth. I had lost everything. My baby. My future husband. My happiness. My life.

Everything.

Getting up, I slipped on leggings and shoes. I gathered all my stuff and ran for the door.

Searching the parking lot for my jeep, I remembered that rode there with West.

I was stranded. Roman wouldn’t answer. Ethan wouldn’t answer. They also hated me. Emma was getting ready to leave for her honeymoon. And God bless Grace, she had drank so much she was probably still asleep.

She really enjoyed the open bar.

My parents were out of town, like always.

My only option was Luca, so I just called a cab.

Waiting for the cab to get there, I threw my overnight bag on the curb and sat down next to it. I felt like shit. And I could only imagine how West felt.

I destroyed us. All by myself.

Seeing the cab, I slowly got up and retrieved my stuff. Telling the cab driver my address, I laid my head back and closed my eyes. I couldn’t believe that conversation had just happened. And no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t forget the heartbreak in his voice.

Our baby should have brought us together but it didn’t. Instead it tore us apart. And I had to carry the blame for that because I let it tear us apart.

“Miss? We’re here,” the cab driver announced, pulling me from my thoughts.

Reaching in my purse, I pulled out money and handed it to him.

“Thank you,” I told him, hoping out and not even bothering to wait on my change.

I didn’t want it. All I wanted was to lay in my bed and feel sorry for myself. I wanted to dwell and grieve. Because I had lost plenty.

Running through the lobby of my apartment building, I headed for the elevator. I had only ridden in one a handful of times in my whole life because I was claustrophobic. But I had no energy to climb the stairs and to be honest I didn’t care at that moment about my fear.

It was forgotten.

Stepping inside, I saw no one else was in it. I pushed the button that would lead me to my floor. Watching the doors shut, I slid down the wall and sobbed.

How could I have let that happen? How could I have risked losing him again? I didn’t know.

I would never be able to love anyone the way I loved West and I knew that. That’s what stung the worst. That’s what kept rubbing salt in the open wound.

The elevator doors slid open, so I pulled myself up by holding on the wall. Seeing my apartment, I pulled out my key and unlocked the door.

“Hey, girl,” Grace asked, walking toward me with a cup of what smelled like her delicious crockpot hot chocolate.

It was my comfort drink and she knew that. Which meant someone had already told her. Thankfully I wouldn’t have to relive it by telling story again.

“You know?”” I asked, taking the warm mug from her hand.

“Yeah, Ethan told me. I’m so sorry,” she said, leading me to the couch.

I started to ask her what she was sorry for. Me losing my baby or me losing my fiancé? Or maybe it was all of the above. But instead I sipped on my hot chocolate and nodded.

“Thank you for the hot chocolate,” I said, holding my mug up.

A pounding on the door nearly caused me to spill the hot liquid on my lap. What if it was West? What if he wanted to tear into me some more? What if he deiced he wasn’t mad anymore? I bet he just wanted his stuff back.

“I’ll get it,” Grace said, jumping up from the couch and running to answer the door.

I saw blonde hair but not the blonde hair I was hoping to see. Emma came waddling in the room with a sour expression on her face.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, noticing the luggage laid at her feet.

“I had a fight with Roman. He’s on West’s side. Can you believe that?” she ask, motioning for Grace to pick up her luggage before taking her seat on the couch.

I believed it. And I didn’t blame him.

Grace picked it up but she didn’t look to happy about it. Emma wasn’t her favorite person right now and with Emma the feeling was mutual.

“Why do you have luggage?” I asked, staring at her.

“Because I’m staying here for the night. You’re hurting and I’m going to be there for you. You’re my sister,” she said, grabbing my hand.

Looking down at our hands, I noticed that my engagement ring was still on my finger. The shine of the diamond taunted me of the wedding and life I would never have. I started to take it off but I stopped myself. I wasn’t ready for that quite yet. I knew that when I did build up the courage to take it off it would make the breakup that much more real.

And I had no desire to deal with reality.

“Why haven’t you taken the ring off?” Emma asked, running her finger over the diamond.

“I’m not ready,” I said, looking down at the throw rug under the coffee table.

I thought that if I studied the intricate swirls that maybe just maybe it would take my mind off of everything.

It didn’t. If anything it reminded me of the tattoos that swirled around West’s body. As much as I had seen them I had never gotten tired of looking at them.

To me they were like reading your favorite book again but discovering a new favorite part. My favorite was constantly changing. And a new one was always popping up.

His tattoos were apart of him. They were how he expressed who he was. I loved them almost as much as I loved him.

Almost.

“Mads, stop thinking about it. We’ll do something fun to get your mind off of it for a little while,” Grace said, sitting on my other side and rubbing my shoulder.

“I wish I could, Grace. But nothing could make me stop thinking about it. We were going to have a baby but I messed that up. We were in love but I messed that up. We were engaged but I messed that up. We were moving in the house of our dreams and I messed that one up too. If you girls don’t mind I’m going to get in bed because it’s the only thing that sounds appealing to me right now,” I told them, getting up and walking to my bedroom.

“You should eat something first,” Grace said, running into the kitchen.

“I’m not hungry,” I told her before walking into my room and slamming my door.

Slipping off my shoes, I ran over to my blinds and closed them. Pulling the ring off of my finger, I placed I in my jewelry box. Running to my bed, I jumped in and buried myself under the covers.

I didn’t want to look at anything in that room because everything reminded me of him. His picture was everywhere and a pair of his shoes was in the corner.

He was everywhere I turned and a part of me was silly enough to wonder if maybe it was the same for him.

My eyes started to close. I could tell my body wanted sleep. So, I didn’t fight it. I was tired of feeling like I did. And I was so tired of crying.

Falling sleep, I thought about his face once more. Feeling a single tear run down my cheek, I shook his face from my thoughts.

While I slept I dreamt about him. About our wedding and our life together.

And that was all it would ever be.

A dream.