Saving Grace (47 page)

“Samuel is.” Helen smoothed her skirt before opening the front door. “I saw him waving as they pulled up the drive.”

“In Lord Sutherland’s carriage?” Grace left her chair and followed Helen to the front door. Her usually demure, and always beautiful, sister stood on the stoop, bouncing on her toes and clasping and unclasping her hands. Behind her, Grace smiled.

It is good that one of us should be so happy.

“Restrain yourself, Helen. It has scarce been a week since you visited.”

“A week is forever,” Helen said. Silently, Grace agreed.
A footman opened the carriage door, and Samuel stepped down, the look on his face as exuberant as Helen’s. Grace’s gaze traveled past him, hoping …

But the footman shut the door behind Samuel and put up the step, and a terrible surge of disappointment overtook her.

Even after all this time — nearly as long as I lived in his home
. Will I never recover?

Samuel met them halfway down the walk. “Helen.” He spoke her name with a joy that left no doubt as to his feelings. Grace felt her smile return, though shakier than it had been a moment before. She had kept her promise to Mother. Samuel would treat her sister well. Helen would be cared for and happy.

With an ache in her heart, Grace watched as Samuel took Helen’s hands in his and leaned forward to kiss her cheek.

“Samuel!” Helen’s rosy blush only heightened her beauty. “You mustn’t kiss me in front of Grace.”

Grace laughed. “On the contrary, I think he
must.
” She held her hand out to him.

He kissed the back of it, and the look in his eyes changed to a tender, brotherly concern. “How are you? How have you been?”

“Well,” Grace said, withdrawing her hand. “The country is every bit as peaceful as we had hoped.”

“I am glad to hear it,” Samuel said. “Nicholas said to give you his regards. He hopes you are well and eagerly awaits news of your family.”

“How is he?” Grace felt her own gaze softening to the point of unexpected tears building behind her eyes. She blinked and turned aside, pretending a sneeze. “And how is it you came to be driving in his coach today?”

“Ah,” Samuel said and looked at her knowingly. Grace knew she hadn’t fooled him for a moment. He turned to the carriage. “You thought —”

“No.” She shook her head. “I would never expect a visit.” With a deep breath, she gathered her wits. “You two have much to discuss, I expect. And owing to the compact nature of our cottage, you do not have much place to do it. May I suggest a walk down the lane to the swing in the old oak?”

“Yes, let’s. Please.” Helen had linked her arm through Samuel’s and was already turning him away.

“I’ll search out Christopher, and we’ll see you at tea,” Grace called. “We can catch up then, and you can tell me all of your plans.” She turned away, walking in the opposite direction. The thought of Samuel pushing Helen in the swing, of the two of them walking together, brought a smile to her heart. At the same time, it was a bitter reminder of what might have been had Father not died and their inheritance come through. If Nicholas had not released her from their betrothal.

And freed us all,
she reminded herself. It was better this way, or so she’d been telling herself all winter.

She cut through the forest, heading for the steady sound of chopping in the distance. Seeing Christopher in his element would certainly help to clear her head. She’d chosen this life for him, as well, so that he might be free to live a life unencumbered by their father or anyone else.

Unless he chooses it.
Not all marriages are as Mother’s was. Nicholas would not have been an encumbrance.

Oh dear.
Grace brought her hands to her face. Just when she’d believed her heart was finally mending, a little thing like seeing Nicholas’s carriage had turned her upside down again.

This will never do. Will I ever forget?

She came upon the clearing. Christopher stood with his back to her, axe in hand, working over the latest tree he’d felled. It was hard work, she knew, yet he seemed to love it — and this land. She’d be forever grateful to Samuel for helping them find it.

Grace walked around in front of him, where he might view her while she kept well away from the felled tree. After another minute of chopping, Christopher noticed her, buried his axe in a stump, and stood, greeting her with a grin.

“Is everything all right?” He studied her carefully as he wiped a towel across his face. “You look a bit pale.” He offered her a dipper of water from a nearby bucket.

“I am fine, thank you.” Grace waved the drink away until Christopher shrugged and drank the water himself.

“Mr. Preston has come to see Helen,” Grace said. “Will you join us for tea?”

“Ah,” Christopher said, much in the same way Samuel had a short while before.

Annoyed, Grace turned away and started for the house. Christopher threw aside the towel and joined her.

“Be honest with me,” he said. “Do you have regrets?”

Grace looked at him askance. “About Samuel?” She shook her head. “No. Not a one. He is the perfect match for Helen, and she for him. They will be terribly happy together.”

“Hmm,” Christopher mused, his lips flattened in an unusually contemplative expression.

“Hmm, yourself,” she replied and hurried ahead of him, not in the mood for a brotherly analysis of her life. “If you must know, I am not quite myself because Mr. Preston arrived in a Sutherland carriage, and for a moment I thought —”

“— that Nicholas had come to see you,” Christopher finished.

“No,” Grace said a little too quickly. “Well, perhaps.” The admission pained her. “But why should I think that? I have everything I want here. A home of our own, plenty to eat. No one charging down our door demanding money. The only laundry to be done is our own.”

“It sounds charming.”

Grace drew in a sharp breath and stopped but did not dare to look back. “What did you say,
Christopher
?”

But it had not been Christopher’s voice she had heard.

It is only my mind, playing tricks.

“I said your life here sounds charming. Samuel tells me you have everything you once described to him — freedom, fields of flowers ...” Nicholas came from within the shadows of the trees into view beside her. “The only thing you lack, perhaps, is an invalid man?”

Grace pressed her hands to her heart. “Nicholas. You
are
here.”

And there is nothing invalid about you.

He stood tall and straight before her, in dark breeches and boots, a cream-colored shirt just visible beneath his surcoat. His hair was longer than she remembered, and somewhat messy, as if it had been blown about by the wind. But it was his face she could not take her eyes from — his serious mouth, the blue of his eyes, deep and ever serious.

Those eyes met hers, and neither he nor she moved or spoke. Grace hardly dared breathe.

At length, after glancing back at Christopher and seeing him returned to his task at the woodpile, she found the courage to speak. “Why did you not simply exit your carriage with Samuel? That was a cruel trick.”

“As cruel as you visiting with him all those weeks without my knowledge?” Nicholas’s gaze was steady, unrelenting.

Grace swallowed, reminding herself that inside his hard, outer shell there was a kind man whom she’d vowed to never fear again.

“No,” she said. “Not as cruel as that. That was wrong of me.”

The doubt and anger in his eyes dissolved instantly.

“I should have told you,” she said. “Should have trusted you to understand.”

He shook his head. “I wouldn’t have. I was not yet ready to mend fences — or to have you meet him at ours. I shouldn’t have driven you to seek out his company.”

I do not seek it any longer.
But Nicholas had to know that already; there was no point in telling him. She wondered how long he had known, and if that was why he had broken their engagement.

She dared to ask the question that had haunted her every day as she walked these fields and every night when she cried herself to sleep. “Why did you send me away?”

“I was afraid you would regret staying with me,” Nicholas said. “You were finally free to go where you wished — to Preston, if that is what you desired.”

I desired you.
“It was not,” Grace said. “It
is
not.”

“I know that now. As I should have then, from the moment you offered me this.” Nicholas held his hand out and opened it, revealing the silver key resting on his palm.

Grace trembled to see it and closed her eyes against
the rush of memories from the most cherished afternoon of her life.

“I wonder,” Nicholas said, “whether this key will still unlock your heart. Or have you done as I used to, locking it away behind chains and barriers?”

“It has been ill used.” Her voice wavered. “And now I fear it is broken.”

So broken. So frightened.

Nicholas nodded. “I was broken once. I did not ever think to be made whole again. But then I was blessed with grace, and my heart — my blackened heart — was mended.”

“You did that,” Grace said. “You were the only one who could, and you did.”

“You showed me the way.” He put the key into his pocket and took her hands in his. “I set out to save you, but it was you who saved me.”

“I am so glad,” Grace said, squeezing his hands then withdrawing hers. She meant it. He had changed — even more since she had last seen him. “You and Samuel traveled in the
same
carriage,” she said, suddenly realizing the implications.

The beginnings of a smile curved his lips. “Seven hours together in the same small space — and we did not kill each other.”

“I should hope not,” Grace said, grateful for the change of subject and that she was beginning to feel that she could breathe once more. She started to walk toward the cottage, fearful he might touch her again and prove her complete undoing. “You had best not harm him. There is the matter of that promise you both made your sister.”

“There is that,” Nicholas drawled. “As well as a delightful child named Beth.”

“What?” Grace turned to him, surprised, overjoyed. “He has shared her with you at last! Oh, Nicholas, I am so happy for you — for you both.”

“As am I,” Nicholas said. “And I thank you for your part in bringing Beth into my life.”

“You are welcome,” Grace said, feeling utterly pleased with this turn of events.
Nicholas will not be completely alone. He will have Beth now. And Lady Sutherland will too.
The thought of them all, even his mother, made her heart ache. How she longed to return to Sutherland Hall. How she missed everything about it — most especially the man beside her.

“But you bring up a good point,” he continued. “I
always
keep my promises, even to the deceased. And I seem to recall promising your father that if you did not marry Samuel Preston, then I would marry you. And I must say, it appears that Preston is somewhat taken with your sister. She has surprised us all and overcome her shyness.”

“He is beyond smitten,” Grace agreed. “They are madly in love.”

“And are therefore likely to marry,” Nicholas said. “Which returns us to the promise I made to your father.”

Grace tried to judge his mood but could not. His words were serious, yet his tone was teasing. She had no idea of the right thing to say or do. She had given herself to him once, and it had cost her dearly. He would have to declare his feelings first if that is what he had come for.

Dare I hope?

“Would you like release from your promise?” Grace asked, wondering as she spoke the words if today would be the last time she saw him.

“It is not so simple,” Nicholas said. “The situation goes far beyond the promise. It goes back to this.” He pulled the key from his pocket and held it out to her once again. “I find myself in possession of something that belongs to you. If you wish to break our agreement, you will have to take it back.”

Grace looked at him, still unsure whether he was jesting. “That is the key to your study.”

He shook his head. “It is the key to your heart. You told me so when you gave it to me. And I can only assume that since I have had it these long weeks, your heart has been locked.”

He had no idea how close to the truth he spoke — or did he?
Grace felt a sudden lump in her throat. Her eyes began to sting. She blinked to no avail. The tears came furiously and began to fall, one dropping on his outstretched hand when she looked down, attempting to hide her sorrow.

Nicholas tipped her chin up as he had done so many times before, ever impatient with her attempts at hiding from him. Grace didn’t care that he was impatient. She cared nothing about his other flaws — his moodiness, his temper.
Which have all but disappeared and have made his tenderness all the more sweet.

“My Grace,” he whispered, brushing a tear from her face. His arms came around her. “My saving Grace.” He pulled her so close that her cheek was against his heart, thundering loudly in his chest. Hers gave an answering leap, and after so many weeks of feeling bereft, a surge of joy coursed through her, bringing her the first glimpse of hope since the day she’d left his study.

“Forgive me for sending you away. Never leave me again,” Nicholas begged. “Say you will marry me, and let me guard this key — your heart — so long as I live.” He pulled back to look at her. “I cannot live without you, Grace. It is
my
heart that has been locked and cold since you left. Better you had taken it from me than to leave it as you did, painfully beating, making each moment of the day agony.”

“It has been agony for me, too,” she managed. Then, letting go of all her apprehensions, she threw her arms around him. “I will marry you, Nicholas. Tomorrow, if you’d like. Today!”

He let out a joyous shout, and she clung to him as he lifted her and spun in a circle.

“Stop!” she cried on the second turn. Laughter replaced her tears. “You are making me dizzy.”

“That is my plan,” Nicholas said. He lowered her to the ground then gently took her face in his hands. “I intend to make your head spin and your heart beat fast every day of your life.” He brushed a kiss across her lips.