Saving Gracie (9 page)

“
What?
” Hannah pointed to the bread, her brows knotted in confusion.

Grace rubbed her stomach and signed “
hurt
,” hoping her facial features didn’t secretly sign “
hangover
.”

Hannah placed a hand on Grace’s shoulder, her head tilted. “
Okay?
”

Grace wrinkled her nose. “
Mexican food
,” she signed.

Hannah hugged Grace. “
Sorry
.”

Grace hugged back and waved away her daughter’s worried look. “
How was your night?
”

Hannah’s eyes brightened. “
Guess who?
” She mimed, holding a phone receiver to her ear.

“
Brad Pitt?
” Grace fingerspelled. She watched Hannah pull out a plate and deli-smoked turkey, Swiss cheese and mayo. Hannah slammed one, two, three. Make that four cabinet doors. Each slam thwacked against Grace’s skull like a wrecking ball.

“
Why always Brad Pitt?
” Hannah looked at Grace like she’d grown a second head.

Grace shrugged. “
Cute
.”

Hannah shook her head. “
He’s old
.”

“
Who then?
” Grace asked.

Hannah rolled her eyes across the ceiling, her eyebrows rising and fingerspelled
Zach Efron
.

“He called?” Grace slapped her cheek in exaggerated shock, regretting the move.

Hannah narrowed her eyes.

“
Okay, for real, who called?
” Grace signed, breathing through her mouth to avoid the Swiss cheese odor.

“
Daniel
.” Hannah fingerspelled, then licked mayo from a purple sparkle painted finger, once again triggering Grace’s gag reflex.

Oh no
.
Here we go with the boyfriend thing again. “
Did he call for you?
” The bread gave her banter strength.

Hannah stomped her foot. “
That’s mean!
”

“
Sorry.
” Grace made a mental note to lay off the jokes. They sucked and expended way too much energy. “
So, your boyfriend called?
” she finally asked.

Adam walked in from the study before Hannah could respond. Grace caught the please-don’t-say-anything look in her teenager’s eyes.

“
Hi.
” Adam finger-wiggled a wave toward Hannah, then planted a kiss on her head. “
Mom tell you about my trip?
”

Hannah’s eyebrows pulled together. “
Trip? What?
”

“
Chicago. Business
,” Adam signed.

Showing vague signs of hesitation, Hannah signed. “
How long?
”

“
Three days. Four, maybe
.” Adam stared at his feet for a brief second before shooting Grace a tight smile. “
You take care of each other. Okay?
” His pointed finger included both of them.

Grace caught Adam’s hesitant floor-stare, which sent her antenna up. What’s that about? Grace wondered.

Hannah’s eyes glanced from her dad to her mother and back again. “
You leave maybe four days? Us? Alone?
”

Doesn’t she trust me? Grace straightened in her seat. “
I can take care of things,
” she signed, feeling her confidence waver, even as she spoke. She watched Hannah come to her side, drape an arm around her shoulders and sign “
fine”
before leaving the kitchen.

“That’s all she can say? Fine?” Grace used her hand to support her balloon-head. “Am I that
big of a wuss?”

Adam turned toward the refrigerator, his back to Grace. “Yeah, pretty much.”

“Ditto,” #2 chimed.

CHAPTER 14

GRACE

I felt a great disturbance in the Force,

as if millions of voices suddenly cried

out in terror and were suddenly silenced.

Grace awoke from her Obi Wan
Star Wars
dream warning of unsettling times ahead. She reached for Adam, her arm flopping against empty pillows…night four in Chicago. She switched on the bedside light and sat up. Combing fingers through her hair, she listened to the unnatural quiet of night.

She had weathered Adam’s absence fairly well with only a few glitches. One morning she slept through the alarm, making her and Hannah late for summer camp. Another morning she’d failed to set the trash out in time. Hearing the loud noise of the garbage truck, she rushed out to wheel the large container across the street. Aligning it with the still-full trash bins, she crossed her fingers, hoping her neighbors weren’t watching her garbage trickery.

Nothing major, just small blurbs. Not like burning the house down or anything. And she didn’t faint when Hannah sliced open her thumb. She planned on bragging to Adam about her Nurse Nancy role, but he never called…and he said he would. Every night.

She ran her hands up her arms, feeling the unease she’d felt most of the day. What is it? She screwed up her mouth and contemplated two possibilities. No three.

-Adam had been gone four days

-Something about the deaf kids she worked with

-The two chili cheese dogs she ate for lunch

She waited for #2's comment to blast through. Silence. Where the hell is she?
Grace could use the input, even, she had to admit, from the crazy bitch.

“She must be screwing with someone else for a change. Just when I need her.” Grace raised her eyes to the ceiling. Still silence. Damn.

Wide awake, she picked up an unfinished crochet square. In Adam’s absence she’d resurrected her mother’s long-standing intent of crocheting nine-by-seven inch squares for Warm Up America, her mother’s favorite charity. The organization distributed handmade afghans to people in homeless shelters. So far, she’d crocheted eight squares…only forty-one to go for a complete afghan. She’d also plowed through a romance novel and finished ten crossword puzzles, thanks to the answers printed in the back. If Adam didn’t come home soon, she’d have to resort to the
Home Shopping Network
.

Crocheting felt familiar when everything around her seemed strange. It helped sort through her web of thoughts, that is, once she’d relearned the routine.

I felt a great disturbance in the Force
. She heard Obi Won’s voice again, warning of danger. A chill shot down her back. She repeated the words and an image of Cherry popped into her mind, not a good sign. The two of them had formed a twisted sort of bond during the past week, not that it stopped the angry outbursts. Almost daily Grace had to physically remove Cherry from the rest of the group until her temper-tantrum subsided.

Her mind rewound to the more than disturbing episode earlier in the week.

~~~

The Cherry incident escalated into a volatile rage. So much so, instead of Grace removing Cherry from the scene, Jill scurried to evacuate the Bluebirds to another room.

As Grace grabbed the wild-eyed child from behind in a secure and, what she hoped was a non-threatening hold, Cherry jerked backwards with the force of an adult, hurling the two of them into a nearby file cabinet. Thankfully she hadn’t worn her signature red cowboy boots that day. Coupled with her powerful moves, the boots could have turned into lethal weapons, especially to Grace’s shins.

The child fought like a raged, wounded animal. Maintaining her hold, Grace fought the panic rising in her throat. She freed her right hand and repeatedly signed the letter G, her own sign name, in front of Cherry. After an eternal minute of thrashing the possessed child released her fit of anger with a long, exaggerated breath and fell limp in Grace’s arms. Astonished and shaken by Cherry’s strength, Grace worked on calming her own breath. When she did, she noticed her eyes had filled. What in this child’s life causes her to have to fight so violently?

Lowering herself to the floor, she pulled Cherry onto her lap, started a slow-paced rocking motion and stroked the child’s tangled hair. Cherry never shed tears with her outbursts, only bone-chilling hostile glares. The world? Her enemy.

Since the episode, Cherry glued herself to Grace during all the daily activities. For whatever reason, Cherry calmed in her presence. From that day on, the staff had nicknamed her The Cherry-Whisperer.

~~~

“God. What’s her life really like?” Grace turned the square to start the last row of stitches. Unlike Hannah, who had been showered with unconditional love and devotion her entire life, Cherry seemed to lack positive attention of any kind.

Grace finished off the nine-by-seven square and dropped her hands to her lap. “I’ve got one more week with her. Then what?”

Her thoughts switched to Adam, who had been gone four days. And with another woman. Jared had gone, but still: Who was Lindsay Durham? Was she a Melissa McCarthy (cute as a button, but over-sized) or Jennifer Aniston (perfect in every way) contract specialist? Grace shrugged. Adam had never given her anything to worry about before. But then again, she’d been a more-than-usual-pain-in-the-ass lately.

“Adam wouldn’t.” Would he? “Nah.” She scratched him off the disturbance list. The chili cheese-dog agony had subsided with a Prilosec. That left Cherry.

CHAPTER 15

GRACE

Three more days of volunteering. Because of heading to Branson on Friday she’d miss the last day of the summer program, which she regretted. Did she actually say that? Yes, and she knew why. Cherry shadowed her every move since the being-tossed-into-the-file-cabinet episode, and having the child close, Grace felt she could protect her…although from what, she didn’t know. Jill had been less than thrilled about Grace missing the last day, but leaving on Friday would get them to Branson for the end of Josh’s camp. And hand’s down, closing ceremonies for Josh trumped the last day of the summer program.

During the entire, agonizing month, Josh had sent only two letters, with the exception of the mandatory Sunday chicken-letter. The letters arrived the same day. Grace could only imagine the mailman’s relief to drop off not one, but two letters stamped Branson, Missouri.

As if run off on a copier, the letters were identical. He did, however, take time to address one to Adam and Grace, the other to Hannah.

Dear Mom and Dad/Hannah,

Camp is great. I’m in cabin 12 and it’s

the best. I’m having fun. My counselors

are Jordan and David. They are cool. I

caught a fish today.

Love, Josh

Adam and Hannah hooted and hollered over the letters at the dinner table.

Grace did not. “
This doesn’t say anything!
”

“
He’s having a good time
,” Adam signed, a tight grin on his lips.

Through his smile Grace noticed circles under his eyes and an unrecognizable tenseness in his voice.
Probably those ungodly hours he’s been working
, she thought, and then switched back to Josh’s non-letter. “
How can you tell he’s having a good time?
” she scanned the spattering of words, thinking she’d missed something.

Adam imitated writing a letter. “
No time
.”

Hannah banged the table with the palm of her hand, interrupting the parental banter. “
Astros game
.” Her eyes bright. “
Next Tuesday. Can I go?
”

“
With who?
” Grace and Adam signed in unison.

“
Jenn
.” Hannah shifted in her seat. “
Her dad said two more could come. Please?
”

“
Who’s the other person?
” Grace noticed Hannah’s excited expression.

“
Daniel.
” Hannah’s fingerspelling took on light year speed.

Fatherly lines formed between Adam’s eyebrows. “
Who’s Daniel?
”

“
Jennifer’s dad wants to take you, Jennifer AND Daniel?
” Grace pursed her lips.

“
Who’s Daniel?
” Adam repeated.

“
I’ll explain later.
” Grace bit her lip. A fast-moving conveyor belt was about to dump her into the throws of teenage puberty.

“
Yes?
” Hannah balanced on the edge of her seat.

Grace shot her daughter a weak smile. “
Let me and your dad talk, okay?
”

Obviously not the answer she wanted, Hannah grimaced and nodded.

Adam tapped the table. “
I have a surprise
.” He leaned forward, eyes dancing.

“
What?
” Hannah signed. Grace wondered the same thing.

“
I telephoned Mr. Weiger this morning
.” Adam rubbed his hands together. “
We get the beach house, third week of July. How’s that?
” Port Aransas, their favorite vacation spot.

Mother and daughter stared, wide-eyed. Hannah excited, Grace bewildered.

“
I love the beach!
” Hannah jumped up and assaulted her dad with a bear hug. “
I’m telling Jenn
,” she signed and bolted out of the room.

Grace stared at Adam. “Why am I just now hearing about this?”

“I have to go back to Chicago in August.” A haunted look shadowed his face, his fingers shredding his napkin.

“Again?” Grace’s jaw clenched.

“Sorry. Can’t be helped.” Adam’s voice lowered to a near whisper. “That’s why I called Mr. Weiger.”

Grace studied the paper napkin scrap-pile. Her insecurities regrouped. He’s bribing me with a vacation. What the hell is going on? For the first time in weeks she seriously longed for her closet. Or bed…or a pill.

“How long this time?” A pout formed at her mouth.

“Same as before. Three-four days.” Pushing the napkin pieces aside, Adam rested his elbows on the table, his fingers forming a tee-pee. “But hey, we don’t have to think about that now. You and Hannah have three more days of camp and then we head to Branson. Josh’ll love the beach, don’t you think?”

She cringed at the irritating
don’t you think?
phrase her mother had used to make a point. She crossed her arms. “I guess.”

They sat in awkward silence before Adam spoke.

“Grace?”

“Hmm?” Her mind vacillated between rising apprehension and self-pity.

“I’m proud of you. I mean it,” Adam reached and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear in a moment of tenderness. “You’re doing something really worthwhile; something that’s getting you back on track.”

“I’ll never get back to that place,” Grace whispered, fighting back tears welling behind her eyes. She missed her mom. She feared for Cherry and felt a growing disturbance between herself and Adam. The poisonous cocktail combination mingled with her own splash of insecurity burned her throat on its way down to her belly.

“Maybe to a better place, then.” Adam stood and stacked the plates.

“Whatever,” Grace mumbled. “Mind if I take a bath?” Feeling particularly immature, Grace had the urge to leave Adam with the messy kitchen.

~~~

“Get to a better place,” Grace sniveled, pouring bath salts into the filling tub.

“What the hell’s wrong with that?” #2 asked in one of her many annoying tones.

“It’s like he thinks something’s wrong with where I am.”

“Yeah…that’s because it sucks.”

Grace felt perfectly content sulking alone. “Why are you here anyway? You haven’t bothered me in weeks.”

“You haven’t been letting that whiney pansy-ass run the show.” #2 didn’t pull punches. How like her. “When are you going to get rid of that cry-baby? She makes me gag.”

“Oh, and what do you suggest I do with her?” Lame comebacks on rapid fire now.

“For starters, you can throw her sorry little ass in that closet you’re so fond of. And while you’re at it, toss her a pacifier. I’m sick of her thumb-sucking.”

“I
don’t
suck my thumb.” Grace crossed her arms.

“Might as well. You’re acting like an infant.”

Grace straightened. “You said I was doing better.”

“No. I said you haven’t let the little twit run the show.”

“Where did you come from anyway?” Grace glared. Somehow, she couldn’t imagine this crude, “in your face” bitch coming from within her.

“What about Cherry?” #2 ignored her question.

Her stomach dropped at the mention of the child’s name. “What about her?”

“You were on to something the other night.”

Grace tilted her head. “About Cherry? What?”

“Gotta go. Hey, watch that bath water.”

“Well shit,” Grace seethed. “You can’t leave now!” Silence
.
“Damn her.” Grace shut off the faucet, tested the water with her toe, and then sank into the foamy pool. She replayed the conversation. What had #2 meant about Cherry?

~~~

Later, Grace explained the Daniel situation to Adam. And, although not crazy about the boyfriend part, he shrugged and gave the go-ahead for the baseball game.

When they told Hannah, she responded as if she’d just been handed keys to her first car. Adam scratched his head, confused. Grace understood all too well the excitement of a first boyfriend…and the heartache
after
a first boyfriend.

Puberty. The first major stage of Hannah’s life she’d have to wade through without her mother’s advice. Who’ll help me now?

An image of #2 hooking Hannah up with some tattooed biker dude, wearing matching vials of each other’s blood around their necks zipped through Grace’s mind, closely followed by vague images of a young Angelina and Billy Bob Thornton.

Oh.My.God. Grace felt her heart ramp. And Angelina got Brad in the end, didn’t she? Shit. Biker chick and home-wrecker. Grace tried to calm herself by making a mental note. No (as in zero) help from #2 during Hannah’s puberty stage.

Why did her mother have to die?

~~~

Thursday morning. Grace needed to talk to Cherry before she lost her nerve. She breathed in what she hoped to be confidence and pulled Cherry aside during the morning break.

“
Today is my last day
.” Grace swallowed hard, making note of Cherry’s lethal red boots. “
I wanted to say goodbye.
” Cherry’s eyes narrowed. She wrapped her arms tightly across her small chest and stomped out of the room.

That went well
. She watched the troubled child disappear around the corner and took off after her. She found Cherry in the empty Arts and Crafts room, curled up in a corner under a table, her arms still tightly crossed, her eyes spitting fire.

Grace tried to coax Cherry out of the cramped space. “
Please come out. We’ll talk. Okay?
” Cherry refused to budge, turning her small, dirt-smudged face to the wall.

Pulling up a chair, Grace sat. Twenty minutes passed before Cherry crawled out from under the table and stood, lifted her chin as high as her small stature allowed and, once again, marched out of the room. By the time Grace reached the door she caught the child’s small silhouette pushing through heavy double doors leading outside. Grace followed and watched Cherry join the Bluebird’s outside activity.

Jill shot Grace a questioning look.

With rounded eyes, Grace could only shrug. Cherry ignored her the rest of the day.

“I guess she’s punishing me for not coming tomorrow.” Grace sat next to Jill during lunch.

“I would too if I could think of some horrible torture to inflict on you.” Jill stacked potato chips on her tuna sandwich.

“What do you mean?”

“What I mean is you’re leaving me to manage that wild child for the entire day.”

“Oh, she’ll be fine.” Grace mentally crossed her fingers. “She’s done better every week.”

Jill wiped her mouth with a napkin. “Yeah, because you’ve been here.” She took a drink from her water bottle. “I don’t know what you did with Cherry, but you’ve saved my butt. I’d have changed my major by now if I’d had to deal with her myself.”

Grace shook her head and smiled. “You’re exaggerating.”

“Yeah, whatever. But I swear, next year, if Cherry’s in my group and you’re not, I’ll hunt you down, woman. Seriously.” Jill shot Grace an I-mean-it smile before leaving the table.

Grace sipped her Diet Coke, thinking about Jill’s words. Her eyes panned the lunch area and spotted Cherry sitting near a few little girls from the Bluebird group. For the most part, she sat alone. Grace winced, only imaging the isolation of Cherry’s world.

Fifteen minutes before the close of the day Jill called the group together to say goodbye to Grace. Overall, the Bluebirds had interacted remarkably well over the last three weeks. Several of the hearing kids spent more than the allotted time learning new signs, evidence of Grace’s contribution to the group.

The Bluebirds lined up and said their personal goodbyes…except Cherry, who stood next to the wall, her back to the group.

“Don’t force it,” Jill whispered.

The day ended and so had Grace’s volunteer job. She gathered her lunch bag and purse, gave Jill a hug and exchanged emails, promising to stay in touch.

She walked across the parking lot, feeling the sweltering June heat radiate up through her tennis shoes. She spotted Hannah next to the car engaged in animated conversation with Daniel.

Fumbling through her purse for the keys, she received a forceful pint-size body-slam to her left side, almost knocking her to the steamy pavement. She stumbled to regain her balance, looked down and found Cherry’s small arms wrapped tightly around her waist.

Grace dropped one arm to comfort the child, letting the purse and lunch bag slide to the ground with the other. She stooped down, which provided Cherry the opportunity to reposition her arms in an “Incredible Hulk” stronghold around Grace’s neck. Unable to free herself from the headlock, she straightened her body, bringing Cherry up into her arms. Small legs clamped around Grace’s midsection. Sobs shook the little girl.