Saving My Submission BN (23 page)

Sitting in the back of the taxi, I felt like I was
taking the ride of shame. Joshua had given me a jacket to wear over my corset,
but the short black leather skirt gave me away. As he paid the cabbie, I rushed
up and rang the bell.

Joshua joined me on the porch as Dylan opened the
door. Sanna’s Master looked surprised before a smug smile curled on his lips.

“I’m sorry I didn’t call ahead of time, Dylan.
Joshua…err, Stephen,
grrrr
,” I hissed. Both men
smirked. “Master Stephen’s car was vandalized at the club last night, and I got
an emergency call from a client. I have to leave tomorrow.”

Dylan frowned just as Sanna stepped in behind him.

“Tomorrow?” she cried. “No. You just got here. You
can’t go yet, Mel… you just can’t.”

Tears welled up in her eyes and her chin started to
quiver. I was already hanging by an emotional thread, and my sister’s
disappointment tugged the fraying fiber. It took several seconds for me to
choke down my own sadness.

“I know. I don’t want to go, but I have to.”

“What happened to your SUV, man?” Dylan asked,
motioning us inside.

As soon as I hit the foyer, I hugged Sanna tight,
grappling with my own bleak sadness.

“Tires got slashed. Carnation…” Joshua frowned.

“You’ve got to be shitting me.” Dylan gaped.

“Nope. She swears she didn’t do it, but she was the
only one at the scene. Hell, when it comes to her, who knows what to believe?”

Wiping the tears from Sanna’s cheeks, I forced a soft
smile. “Don’t cry. I hate seeing you sad.”

“What was she doing there? Mika banned her ass,” Dylan
asked darting a glance at his girl before trailing a sympathetic caress down
her arm.

“What’s going on?” Nick joined us in the foyer, his
expression lined in concern.

“Let’s go to the kitchen,” Dylan suggested as he bent
and kissed Sanna’s head. “Come on, kitten. No more tears. She’ll be back.”

“Yes, she will.” Joshua nodded with a confident smile.

“Who’s going where?” Nick asked in confusion. “And why
are you crying, precious?”

“Come on, bro. We’ll explain it all,” Dylan replied
with a jerk of his head. “Who wants a beer?”

The five of us sat around the kitchen table, filling
Nick in on the chain of events. Minutes turned into hours, and by then we’d
moved to the deck, laughing and swapping stories. Dylan and Nick decided to
grill some chicken, so Sanna and I popped into the kitchen so she could prepare
the side dishes.

“You don’t want to leave him, do you?” she asked, with
a probing stare.

“No. If it weren’t Hayes and Dixie, I’d decline and
suggest another designer. But they’ve been with me for years. I couldn’t tell
them ‘no’. Besides, it’s a ridiculous amount of money to turn down.”

“Is it enough money to keep you from missing him? He’s
going to miss you. You know that, right?”

“Yeah, I know. I’m going to miss him too, and you.” I
grinned, poking her in the arm.

“You really need to move up here, Mel.” She pouted. “I
don’t mean to harp, but… think about it. I mean, really think about it. Please?
For me? And maybe even a little bit for him.”

I stared out the window just as Joshua threw his head
back, laughing at something Dylan had said. I was going to miss Joshua’s laugh
and the easy banter we shared. Not to mention the way my body tingled when he
looked at me with those decadent green eyes. Sobering, I hoped it might be
easier for him to sort out his demons, if he could, without me around.

As if sensing my stare, he turned and smiled, warming
me from the inside out. Yes, I was going to miss him far more than I had a
right to. Saying good-bye was going to be brutal, but I wasn’t ready to start
shoring up my armor. We had the rest of the day, and hopefully the night to
spend together. I could sleep on the plane and mend my heart, and if I got
lucky, I’d manage to wrap myself so thoroughly up with work that I wouldn’t
miss him.

Good luck with that,
cupcake.

“Mel?” Sanna jabbed me with her elbow.

“Huh?”

“I said your name like five times. Where were you?”
she asked, peeking over my shoulder then snorted. “Never mind. I know exactly
where your mind was… and you called me a dirty little monkey.”

“Well, we
are
cut from the same cloth,” I reminded her with a laugh.

“That we are, sis. Hey, if you’ll grab the salad
dressing, I think we’ll be set.”

As I bent to retrieve the bottles, the sliding glass
door opened and all three men paraded in. Nick set a platter of sizzling
chicken on the counter. A mouth-watering aroma of smoke and spices filled the
room.

Joshua stepped up behind me, crowding in close, and
leaned his mouth to my ear. “It’s dangerous to bend over like that in front of
me, little one. Need any help?”

I smiled and wiggled my ass against his crotch, then
flashed him a lurid smile over my shoulder. “Not with this, but I could sure
use some later.”

“Minx,” he chuckled before gliding his tongue over the
shell of my ear. “Believe me. Dylan and Nick won’t mind a bit if I lay you over
the kitchen table and spank your ass.”

“Is that all you want to do to it?” I smirked.

“Hell, no. I want to sink balls deep inside it.” His
expression looked animalistic. “By the way, you’re not leaving until I’ve had
that
pleasure, little one.”

The thought of Joshua’s cock buried in my ass made my
body tremble so violently I almost dropped the salad dressing.

“Easy,” he laughed and slid the bottles from my
fingers.

“Okay, no sex in the kitchen,” Sanna called from the
table.

“Why not, precious?” Nick smirked. “We have sex in the
kitchen all the time.”

Sanna’s face turned beet red and she gasped. “Master,”
she choked.

“Well, we wipe the damn table and counters off when
we’re through,” Dylan chuckled. “What’s the big deal, kitten?”

“Oh, my god,” she whispered, utterly mortified.

“Sanna,” I giggled. “It’s okay, baby sis. I know you
have sex… sex with two men at once. I’m not shocked or appalled. It’s all
good.”

I gave her knowing wink as Joshua held a chair for me.
Sitting next to me, he grinned.

“I think it’s safe to say there are no virgins here,”
Nick chuckled as he filled his salad bowl.

“Well, so much for the sacrifice we’d planned for
later,” Dylan quipped.

“And just where were you going to get a virgin?” Sanna
laughed.

“We hadn’t gotten that far yet.” Dylan grinned filling
his bowl next. “We’d only gotten to tying you up and pretending you were a
virgin.”

I chuckled as I took a bite of a drumstick. The
thought of losing this wonderful family, and the contentment I’d found with
Joshua, hurt.

“I guess I’m going to have to give you a rain check,”
Joshua commented as he grazed his knuckles over my thigh beneath the table.

“Rain check?”

“Dinner tonight… looks like we’re having it here
instead.” He smiled.

It was hard to believe he’d only asked me out the day
before. So much had happened so quickly it suddenly seemed surreal.

“No worries,” he declared. “We’ll do it when you get
back.”

“You’re coming back?” Sanna asked with elation.

“Yes, but I’m not sure when… exactly,” I stammered.

“In three weeks.” Joshua’s statement sounded more like
a question.

“That’s fantastic,” Sanna squealed.

“I… it might be a little bit longer than three…
weeks,” I spluttered.

“Why?” Joshua pinned me with a wary frown.

“Well, I’ll need to go back home sometime… pay my
bills, check on the house. Do laundry, re-pack... That kind of thing.”

He issued a nod of understanding as his demeanor
turned brittle and cold.

“I’ll get things taken care of as soon as I can. Trust
me. I’d rather be here in Chicago with you all than sitting in front of my
computer at home.”

“You booked your flight already, right?” Sanna asked.

“Yes. I logged onto my computer a little while ago. I
leave for New York at eight in the morning.”

“Do you need a ride to O’Hare?” Nick asked.

“No,” Joshua interrupted as I snapped my mouth shut.
“I’ll take her.”

The thought of having to say good-bye to him in a
crowded airport full of strangers made my skin crawl. I didn’t like farewells
and this one, I feared, would be exceptionally difficult. Instead of
challenging the man at the dinner table, I bit my tongue, and stifled my
knee-jerk reaction. Later, when we were alone, I’d spill my guts and try to
explain why I didn’t want him to take me.

Suddenly the smell of the food made my stomach swirl.
I took a gulp of water, praying no one noticed my hands shaking, but of course
Joshua picked up on it right away.

“If you’ll excuse us?” Joshua smiled as he stood and
took my hand. Without another word, he led me out the back door toward the
wooden railing overlooking Lake Michigan.

“What’s wrong?” I asked as he watched a boat off in
the distance.

“That’s my question to you, little one. The minute I
offered to take you to the airport you tensed and started shaking. I want to
know why?”

“You didn’t offer. You told me you were going to take
me.”

“Oh, so we’re back to that again? Come on, Mellie, I
thought we’d made some headway.”

The man was nothing, if not direct. I sucked in a deep
breath and closed my eyes, aligning my thoughts. Turning to face him, I reached
up and ran my fingertips along the crease of his brow.

“I’m not good at saying good-bye, Joshua.”

“But we’re not saying good-bye, Mellie. We’re simply
saying… see you soon.”

Maybe. Maybe not.

“I need to warn you, my job… it goes in spurts.
There’s times when I’m flying from one side of the world to the next, not even
sure what airport or city I’m landing in. It’s hectic, and stressful. Usually
one phone call from a client leads to another. I don’t know for sure that I’ll
be able to come back in three weeks.”

“So based on past experience, you’re anticipating a
slew of clients will call and book you up for what? Weeks? Months?”

“It’s a possibility.” I nodded.

“I see. Were you going to tell me all this? Were you
going to wait and tell me in three weeks… or whenever you got your laundry
done?”

That icy edge was back, and so was the impenetrable
wall. There was no way in hell I was going to end this… whatever this was with
him… in a nasty fight.

Pausing, I mentally smoothed my hackles back down and
put my temper in time-out.

“I’d planned to tell you once we were alone,
Sir
.” My calm demeanor and stress of the
honorific took the starch out of him. “I’m sorry you thought I was trying to
keep details from you, Master Stephen.”

A self-loathing smirk curled the side of his mouth and
he nodded. The man had a touchy Dom switch. I seemed to flip that sucker nearly
every time I opened my mouth.

 
“So you’d
rather Dylan, Nick, and Savannah take you to the airport in the morning?”

“No, Sir. I’d rather take a cab.”

He cocked his head and stared at me. “That seems like
a rather cold and impersonal way to leave your family.”

“Yes, I suppose it is.” I nodded.

Out of nowhere tears filled my eyes and streamed down
my cheeks. I knew I had to explain my visceral reaction, but I wasn’t
altogether sure I could speak. Tossing my head back in an attempt to stem the
flow, I sniffed.

“If something should happen to me, and I never come
back home, I don’t want my sister’s last memory of me to be waving good-bye in
a throng of strange faces. I want her to remember my smile, my hug, the kiss I
left on her cheek, and me saying, ‘
I’ll see you
soon
’ before I climb into a cab and drive away.”

CHAPTER NINE

Joshua wrapped his arms around me and held me
lovingly. “Who did you lose that you never got a chance to say good-bye to, pet?”

“Our parents,” I choked on a sad sob.

“Then I’m staying here with you tonight. And in the
morning, I’ll stand on the porch, hold you in my arms, savor your kiss, and
drink in your beautiful smile, and before you pull away in the cab, I’ll tell
you… I’ll see you soon. But make no mistake. I’ll be here when you come back to
me.” He kissed my forehead, sealing his vow.

His acceptance of my fears was all but crushing. He
took my hand and led me toward the lake. We walked for what seemed like miles
as I told him about the death of my parents, about raising Savannah, and
finally confessed the toll Davis Walker had claimed on my self-confidence.

We touched briefly on the tragic accident that claimed
his wife and daughter, but he wasn’t ready to share the hell he’d lived through
after his loss. I suspected he was still living it to a degree, but then
weren’t we both? You move on and live your life, but the emptiness left behind
never goes away.

When we arrived back at the house, Sanna was wearing a
sly little smirk on her lips.

“Something came for you, Mel.”

“What?”

Dragging me by the arm, she pulled me into the family
room. “Good job,” she whispered to Joshua.

“For what?” he asked in confusion.

Sitting on the coffee table was a massive floral
arrangement of yellow and white roses, along with huge day lilies in purples
and pinks surrounded in rich green foliage. I blinked, then smiled and turned
toward Joshua.

“Oh my god, they’re gorgeous,” I cried, rushing to his
arms. “Thank you so much.”

“Ah…” he stammered, his body tensed and I pulled away.
“I didn’t… I should have, but…”

“They’re not from you?” I felt a bit awkward, but
Joshua looked totally embarrassed.

“Then who are they from?” Sanna asked, her brow
wrinkling in question.

I peeked through the arrangement and finally found the
small envelope. Opening it, I read the card and my stomach pitched. Dropping
the printed card on the table, I turned to Sanna. “Toss them out,” I instructed
with a wave of my hand.

Joshua leaned in and plucked up the card. Reading, his
features hardened.

“Who the hell are they from?” Sanna demanded, trying
to peek over Joshua’s shoulder.

“My dear Mellie,” he began. “I wish to apologize for
any heartache I caused you in the past. I’ve changed and am a different man
now. I hope you’ll give me the chance to prove it to you, bunny. Please accept
these as a token of my sincere desire to re-kindle what we once shared. I miss
you. Call me. Davis.” Joshua didn’t bother to mask his sarcasm. “Oh look, he
even left his phone number.”

“What a pig,” Sanna huffed.

“He can’t be serious, can he?” Dylan thundered.

“Serious or not, he’s a dead man,” Joshua snarled.

“You can’t kill him,” I sighed. “Just maim and
disfigure him, if you want. That’s fine with me.”

Sanna snatched up the heavy vase and held out her hand
as Joshua crumpled up the card. Turning on her heel, she stormed out of the
room, toward the garage and the trash barrels.

“Does he have your number?” Joshua asked with concern.
“Does he have a way to get in touch with you, Mellie?”

“No. I mean, I suppose he could find me through the
Internet. I’m easy to contact via my web site. But if you’re asking if I’ve
ever gave him my number when I moved to Phoenix, no I didn’t.”

Joshua tipped my chin with the tips of his finger and
gazed soberly into my eyes. “You let me know if he contacts you again.
Understood?”

“I doubt he’ll bother me, especially when I don’t
reach out and thank him for the flowers.”

“That’s not what I asked, little one.” Joshua’s lips
flattened to a thin line. Trying not to scowl, I reminded myself he wasn’t
intentionally treating me like a five-year-old—his Dom-beast was roaring with
the need to protect me. Still it chaffed. I wasn’t his sub, not in the
real
sense, but I sure ached for it.

“You will be the first to know.” I smiled then arched
a suspicious brow. “You’re not going to kill him, are you?”

“Does it matter?” he challenged.

“Yes,” I cried. The look of shock and jealousy that
blossomed over Joshua’s face was almost comical. “You’ll end up in prison, and
I can’t cook to save my soul. There’s no way I could
bake
you a cake with a file in it so you could escape.”

A laugh tore from his lips. “God, Mellie. You’re like
a gulp of water to a man who’s been lost in the desert.”

I closed my eyes as I clung to him, breathing in his
masculine scent. “We’ve both been lost a long time, Sir.”

“Yes,” he replied in a whisper so soft I almost missed
it.

As night fell, we all sat on the deck once again. A
feeling of finality weighed in the air. My last night with both Sanna, and
Joshua, filled me with melancholy. Torn between wanting to race to my room and
curl up in Joshua’s arms, and spend a few more precious hours with Sanna warred
within.

As if sensing my dilemma, Dylan stood. “It’s time to
go upstairs, kitten.”

The look of disappointment on her face broke my heart.
“Already?”

“Yes, love. Mellie and Stephen need some time alone.
Besides, Nick and I would like some with you.”

“Come on, precious. We’ll turn that pout into some
sensual screams,” Nick teased before he picked her out of the chair and curled
her in his arms.

With a giggle, Sanna blew me a kiss and waved. “See
you in the morning.”

“Sweet dreams… eventually,” I laughed.

It wasn’t long before Joshua linked his fingers with
mine and led me inside. I directed him to my guest room, where he closed and
locked the door behind us.

After peeling off my clothes, he undressed. We spent
hours making sweet, passionate love while I absorbed his blissful touch, warm
breath, and every satisfied growl and moan. He tumbled me over the edge, time
and again. Lubing up my ass, he worked his way inside my tiny opening with such
patience and care before bestowing me the most sublime orgasms of my life. As
he held me in his arms, I sobbed, overwhelmed by his tender mercy.

As dawn began to break, Joshua’s arm lay slung around
my waist as I faced him, watching him sleep. Reaching out, I brushed a strand
of golden hair from his forehead. He opened his eyes and gave me a sleepy
smile, another vivid image of him that I branded to my memories.

“Hey,” he murmured. His voice was thick and deep, and
sent a shiver up my spine.

“Hey,” I whispered. “I have to get up, take a shower,
put myself together, and pack. Go back to sleep. I’ll be quiet.”

“Uh-uh.” He shook his head. “I’m showering with you.”

The gleam in his eyes and the wicked smirk curling his
lips told me it would be a thoroughly enjoyable shower.

“You’re going to make me miss my flight.”

“Damn. You figured me out. And here I thought I was
being all stealthy and suave.”

I laughed and kissed him, then sobered. “I’m going to
miss you,” I whispered as I gazed into his eyes.

“Only for a little while,” he assured. “Come on. Let’s
get you ready for work.”

I washed every inch of his body, memorizing the feel
of his hard, defined muscles. When I stroked my soap-slick fist around his
cock, he let out a groan and begrudgingly pulled my hand away.

“You
will
miss
your flight if you keep that up. Turn around,” he instructed.

I closed my eyes as his strong hands spread luxurious
bubbles over my flesh. I wasn’t disappointed that we didn’t make love in the
shower. It would have been rushed, taking away the memory of our incredible
night before.

Stealing up behind me as I dried my hair, he pressed
his chest against my back. His cock, hard and ready, settled between the cheeks
of my ass. I groaned. Joshua snickered as he reached around me and placed a cup
of sweet, creamy coffee on the vanity.

“You sure know how to spoil a girl,” I quipped.
Turning my head, I planted a quick kiss on his cheek.

“Oh, little one, I haven’t begun to spoil you yet,” he
warned. “The guys are downstairs cooking up a farewell feast. I think they’re
trying to bribe you with food to stay.”

I laughed. “And we both know what you tried to bribe
me with last night. Don’t we?”

“That wasn’t a bribe, sweetheart. That was just a
precursor of what’s to come.”

Packing my suitcases, I took extra care as I wrapped
the kneeling woman. Simply having a piece of Joshua with me lightened my
spirit. I wasn’t altogether sure if the sculpture would grant me solace or pain
in the lonely nights ahead, but I’d soon find out.

Through breakfast I had to keep reminding myself that
I’d only be gone three weeks. It wasn’t a lifetime. Soon, I’d be back to the
loving arms of my sister, and her Masters and back to the sweet indulgence and
command of the man who’d captured a piece of my heart. Those mental reminders
were all that kept me from breaking down into a blubbering, snot-soaked mess at
the table.

Standing on the porch after phoning for the cab, Sanna
bravely swallowed back her tears. Both Dylan and Nick wrapped a supportive arm
around her waist, as did Joshua to mine. The five of us bantered back and forth
a bit, but the air weighed thick in a somber, doleful cloak.

When the taxi pulled into the circle drive, I fought
the urge to run back inside and lock the door. Digging deep, I dredged up my
courage and hugged both Dylan and Nick. I gave Sanna a kiss and held her tight,
then turned to Joshua’s waiting arms.

“I’m ready for my kiss and my hug, little one.”

I swallowed back a sob and gripped his strong body,
holding tight one last time. He brushed his hand over my hair as the sound of
his thundering heart echoed in my ears.

Pulling back slightly, he captured my lips in one
final passion-filled kiss.

Even when his lips left mine, I couldn’t let go.
Clinging to Joshua, I watched Dylan and Nick load up my luggage.

“I’ll see you soon,” Joshua whispered.

When the cab driver opened the door, I sucked in a
deep breath.

“Yes, I’ll see you soon.”

Squeezing Joshua tight one last time, I
pried
myself from his arms and rushed inside the taxi.

“I’ll see you soon. I love you,” Sanna called to me.

“See you soon, sis. Love you more,” I replied in a
quivering voice.

Forcing a smile, I waved as the cab pulled away. I
only made it two houses before the tears I’d bravely tamped down rose to the
surface.

Willing a calmness I didn’t feel, I could still smell
Joshua’s ghost in the cab. Dipping my head, I sniffed my blouse; his scent was
all over me. It was going to be a brutal three weeks.

Stretched out in first class beneath a blanket and
wearing sunglasses to hide my swollen eyes, I stared out the window. Paying
little attention to the blue sky, I was too busy re-living every precious
second I’d spent with Joshua. The emptiness settling through my soul felt like
a black hole eating the life out of me.

Halfway through the flight to Heathrow, I decided I’d
wallowed in enough misery. It took a mighty crowbar, but I managed to pry my
ass off the pity pot and started focusing on work. No matter how hard I tried,
my thoughts inevitably wound their way back to the tall, sandy blonde artist
with the shimmering green eyes.

With an inward curse, I exhaled a heavy sigh and
pounded away at my computer, prioritizing a sizable list to expedite the
renovation of Hayes and Dixie’s dining hall. Catching my last flight to
Manchester-Birmingham, I was exhausted. When I landed I was relieved to see the
driver Hayes had sent to pick me up, and the short hour drive to
Northshire
was a piece of cake compared to the unending
hours I’d spent in flight.

Hayes and Dixie met me at the door. They were both in
their mid-seventies, and neither fit the stereotype of castle owners, not by
any stretch of the imagination. Loud and gregarious, they dressed in comfy
flannel shirts, blue jeans, and brown cowboy boots. There were serious, down
home country people without a refined bone in their bodies.

Unable to curb her excitement, Dixie chattered about
all the changes she wanted made to the dining hall, more animated and full of
life than I’d ever seen her before. I followed her up the grand staircase,
nodding in a sleep-deprived stupor as their somber-faced butler dragged my
luggage behind him.

Leading me to one of the massive suites I’d
redecorated on a previous trip, she beamed with pride. It seemed a shame the
only time I’d get to spend in the elegant room was when I tumbled into bed,
exhausted from a long day multi-tasking and overseeing a small army of workmen.

“You get your gear stowed,
darlin
’,
and I’ll have some grub sent up to you. You look worn thin,” Dixie fussed. “I’m
sure you’re half-starved by now.”

I smiled. “Thank you. It has been a long day, but
don’t worry. I’ll be good as new in the morning.”
I hope.

After dinner, I started to unpack. The inviting bed
all but goaded me to lie down and float away into peaceful darkness.
Not yet
, I scolded inwardly. I still had
clothes to put away. Once the sun came up, I’d have no time for anything except
work.

When the last suitcase was empty I carefully unwrapped
Joshua’s sub statue. Cradling her in my hands, the urge to load my bags back up
and fly home pressed hard. Longing for a man I’d known a whole five days was
ridiculous, yet the ache within was real, and foreign, and unsettling. Lifting
the statue to my lips, I placed a reverent kiss on her head, in honor of the
Master who’d shaped her. The same Master that set my body ablaze, climbed
inside my soul, and stolen a piece of my heart. I positioned the figurine on
the nightstand next to my bed so that she would be the first vision I saw in
the morning and the last at night.