Saving Scotty (14 page)

I blinked a little and put my hand on his upper arm. “You found me soon enough. God, to think, though, what would have happened if you were there even a few minutes later.” I shuddered. “I would have been married to that, that, that, thing. That evil incarnate.”

Nick looked at me quizzically. “About that. I don’t quite understand why that was about to happen. Why would you have agreed to that?”

I felt ashamed, so I lowered my head. I took a deep breath to stop the tears from coming, but I felt the salt from them anyhow on my tongue. I couldn’t look at him right at that moment.

“Scotty,” Nick said. “You can tell me. You can talk to me about anything. Just tell me what you were thinking.”

“You’re going to be angry.”

“Why? Whatever reason you had for doing that, I’m quite sure that it made sense to you at the time. Was he threatening you? Did he have you brainwashed? Please, help me to understand.”

I took a deep breath. I looked into his eyes, and I couldn’t tell him. I couldn’t tell him that I had a plan to commit suicide and make it look like an accident. I couldn’t tell him that Mr. Lucas had agreed to take care of my mother in return for my marrying him. I couldn’t tell him any of this. I was too
ashamed. Too ashamed to admit to him how badly I wanted to die. How hopeless I felt. I didn’t want Nick to think that I was that weak, and that I would have given up so quickly.

I was ready to give up quickly, though. I was. I guess because I felt that I didn’t have a way out of that situation. And the memories of going through years and years with Mr. Lucas raping me…I felt that was going to once again be my lot. Which was why I wanted to nip it in the bud.

But could Nick understand that? Could he? Or would he just hate me for the fact that I came within one day of committing suicide? That, if Nick would have gotten to that island just 24 hours later, I would have already went through with my plan?

I thought that he might understand. But I really didn’t want to admit this to him. It would be admitting such frailty to him.
And, somehow, he might interpret it to mean that he didn’t mean anything to me. Because that was what I always thought about people who committed suicide – that the people in their lives didn’t mean anything to them. Suicide was just such a selfish act, with no regard for the survivors.

I never wanted him to think or believe that I felt that way about him – that I would do something like that without regards to him or his feelings. I wanted him to always know how important he was to me.

So, I made a decision. To lie about why I was going to marry Mr. Lucas. “Yes, Nick, he threatened me. He told me that if I didn’t marry him, that he would continue to rape me. But if I married him, he said that he would leave me alone. He promised me this.”

“And you believed him.” Nick was incredulous. This was said as a statement, but it was really a question. An
are you fucking crazy?
question.

“Well, Nick, I was desperate enough to believe anything at that time. I’m so sorry.  I don’t want you to hate me for that. I was just trying to survive.”

Nick gave me a look that showed me that, far from hating me, he was totally in love with me. I knew that look anywhere. That look always made me melt. “Scotty. Why would you ever think that I would hate you for anything? If you only knew how nuts I am about you…”

At that, I put my hand on his leg again. “Nick, uh. I’ve been through a lot of trauma lately. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t want you to make love to me. In fact, I think that I need that. I think that I need that to wash away the dirtiness and the shame of what happened to me at Mr. Lucas’ home. I need something to erase that.”

Nick looked like he wasn’t quite sure if making love was the right thing at that time. “Oh, Scotty, I would love to make love to you. I have never wanted anything so much in my entire life. But, after you have gone through…”

I put my finger on his lip to silence him. And then I kissed him. At first, he was tentative, but then I felt his soft lips slowly engulfing mine. I felt the stress and depression that came from being held captive at Mr. Lucas’ home melt away with every passing moment.
He was such an amazing kisser - so full of passion, yet gentle and tender.

He pulled away slightly. “Um, let me put extend the glass barrier between the bedroom and the downstairs. Don’t forget, we have company.”

At that, he flipped a button, and a glass wall came down off of the ceiling and securely fastened itself on the floor. He flipped another button, and a wall of curtains engulfed the barrier. “There,” he said. “Now we can have a little bit of privacy.”

Then he got back on the bed. He kissed my neck a little, and put his hand on my belly. “I’m so happy that you’re here, Scotty. I couldn’t rest until I knew that you were safe and sound. There aren’t words to express how anxious I was when you were missing.”

“I know, Nick,” I said. I put my hand on his thigh, and then onto his crotch. I could feel his enormous hard-on through his loose trousers. “I’m sorry to have put you through all of that.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. You couldn’t help what happened to you.”

I felt my breathing coming faster and faster. I unzipped his pants, and put my hand on his raging manhood. I stroked it up and down, up and down, in his boxer-briefs. He groaned a little.

“Scotty,” he said. “This is going to be a little bit challenging right now because of your injury.”

“I know,” I said. “So, be gentle.”

I maneuvered myself so that I was on my side. Since my leg was immobilized, this was difficult to do, but no
t impossible. I was wearing a loose fitting t-shirt dress, so I lifted it off over my head and laid back down.

Nick was behind me, stroking my back. He kissed the back of my neck, and his hands reached around me from behind. He was still fully clothed, but I could still feel his massive hard-on that was pitching a tent through his pants. He cupped my breasts, and I could feel his hands making their way through my hair.

His scent was something that I was craving. It was something that I thought about all of the time when I was lying in bed at Mr. Lucas’ house. It was not just his scent, but everything about him. The way that his hands were so gentle as they stroked my body. The way that he would whisper in my ear, in his throaty voice full of passion, what he wanted to do to me. It was the words that he would say in that throaty voice. It was the way that his skin tasted on my mouth. Everything about him, the very essence of what made him Nick, was what I missed.

Most of all, I missed the way that he made me feel. That was why it was so devastating to me being away from him. Why it was so very devastating and hurtful to see him and that horrible Portia together. If there was one thing that emanated from him, right from the very beginning, really, was that he was in love with me. That I was somebody special.
To think that I wasn’t special anymore was something that I really couldn’t live with.

It dawned on me that perhaps that was the main reason why I wanted to kill myself – seeing Nick and Portia together, and realizing that we would be through. I thought that the reason why I wanted to kill myself was that I felt hopeless in the situation with Mr. Lucas, and that was certainly a major part of it. The psychic pain that was inflicted upon me by that horrible man was immense, for sure.

But, at the same time, seeing Nick and Portia together…that, too, made me want to check out. I hated to admit that, even to myself, because it made me feel so weak and vulnerable. I mean, there was always a good chance that Nick and I might not work out at all. Something might happen and we might end up breaking up. Would that mean that I would automatically want to do myself in? I didn’t want to even think about that. I was better than that. My life was such that it didn’t revolve around a man, and that was how it really should be. Nick should be a nice bonus, not my
raison d’etre
. Yet, if I wanted to kill myself mainly because Nick betrayed me…that was a scary thought, indeed.

Now, Nick was behind me, and was leaning into me. His manhood was out of his pants, and he was right at my opening. I could feel the wetness between my legs. The wetness that was completely his.
I
was completely his. 150% his, as Jack would say.

My breathing was coming faster and faster. But my thoughts were not completely positive right at that moment. Nick had pierced all of my walls, and, in the process, he had brought them completely down. Those walls protected me my entire life. My entire life. The walls were what helped me survive my mother, Mr. Lucas, and the stay in the car. They were what helped me to persevere through every odd and get into Columbia for my master’s.
And now, I was so vulnerable that I was in danger of killing myself just because of a betrayal. That wasn’t like me.

Nick was whispering in my ear. “You’re a part of me, sweet Scotty. I would do anything for you. I would do anything to keep you safe. I would go to the ends of the earth if that was what it takes to protect you.”

Those words made me so happy and so worried at the same time. What if he wasn’t around to save me next time? What then? What if I become complacent and weak, and I can’t save myself? It was bad enough feeling helpless on the island with Mr. Lucas. At least there was a reason for my helplessness then – I had a broken leg. But what would happen the next time something threatened me? I had to rely on myself. I couldn’t just let Nick do all the heavy lifting, while I just waited around like a damsel in the tower.

Yet, I was also indescribably happy about hearing this from him. Because it showed just how much he loved me.
There was no better way for a man to show his love than protecting the woman he loves, when she needed it. And that was what Nick was doing for me.

I was so lost in my own thoughts that it was difficult to be in the moment. It was difficult to concentrate on the magical things that Nick was doing to my body. The fear that held me back early on in our relationship was, somehow, rearing its ugly head again. I had to tamp it down, because I so wanted Nick to make love to me. It would make me feel that life had gone back to normal again. That was so what I needed. Normalcy. I had to not think about what just happened to me. What was going to be in the future, as I would have to be strong enough to take Mr. Lucas down, once and for all. Strong enough to go to work and see Portia’s evil face every day.
Nick would be by my side, but he couldn’t fight my battles for me. I had to do that.

His strong hands left my breasts, and started stroking my waist. His fingers made their way down to my special place, the place that was reserved especially for him. He was still the only person, in my mind, who was entitled to that part of me. He would be the only person, ever, who would have that part of me. No matter who took it from me against my will, Nick would be the only one who would truly have it. Just him.

I finally got out of my head and concentrated on what he was doing to me. On how he was making me feel. He was such an attentive lover. Such a giving person in bed.

I could still feel his massive hard-on pressed against me, just outside my opening. I nodded my head slowly. I wanted him to enter me so badly.

But he didn’t right away. He put a finger inside of me, with his other fingers gently massaging my clit. I moaned and reached behind me to stroke his huge shaft. I reached down to my own throbbing opening to get some wetness on my hand, so that I could stroke him more smoothly.

I could feel his manhood pulsating in my hand. His hands were moving from my clit and opening, and was on my butt and exploring inside that part of my body. His fingers were wet from
being inside of me, so he was able to easily slip his fingers into the other area. One of his fingers was swirling around inside of me, and his other hand was gently stroking my breasts and circling around my nipples.

I was getting impatient. I wanted him inside of me so badly it hurt. I could feel my clit throbbing, and the blood was rushing to that area. Sometimes Nick made me feel that I could literally pass out, and this was one of those times. My heavy breathing, combined with the touch that made me feel that I was not of this world, combined to make me feel that I was floating in mi-air. I felt soft, like I had no bones and that I was completely flexible.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, he finally put the tip of his engorged manhood just inside of me. I felt my vaginal area expanding in order to accommodate his enormous girth. I groaned as I felt him enter me even further. As he thrust all the way in, I felt the familiar feeling of an exploding orgasm that shook my entire body to its core.

“Don’t stop, please don’t stop,” I said, as he thrust in and out, slowly and rhythmically. “That feels so amazing.” And it did. With every thrust, every kiss, every caress, Mr. Lucas was fading farther and farther into my psyche. It was as if those three days that I suffered at his hands didn’t even happen. Nothing bad had ever happened to me. Right at that moment, the only thing that I could think about was how awesome it felt to have Nick’s warm skin next to me. To have Nick inside of me.

As orgasm after orgasm cascaded out of my body, I felt like I could touch heaven. Just a slice of it, anyhow. Such a contrast to being in hell, which was where I had just come from.

Then, to my surprise, I felt myself crying. I wasn’t sure why. I think that it was the emotion of the moment, combined with the horrible memories that were brewing just below the surface. It felt like I was a raw
nerve that was touched in many different ways, both positive and negative, and it was impossible to tell which of those emotions was paramount.