Say You Need Me (23 page)

“No.” Kiana sighed. “Yes.”

“You and Geoff aren’t talking?”

“He’s mad at me. He thinks I’m using him. I guess there’s no other word for it.”

“Why?”

“He says I only call when I need something.”

“Well…that’s kinda true.”

“What?”

“How often do you keep in touch just to say hi? But when your car got broken into, who did you call—Geoff. When you needed help painting your apartment, who did you call? And you know he’s still got a thing for you. So yeah, maybe it’s starting to bother him.”

“I can’t believe you’re taking his side.”

“I’m not. But you have to admit, it’s got to be hard for him.”

“He has to get used to the fact that we’re friends.”

“Because you can’t date a cop. Seems to me you knew he was a cop before you started dating, so it’s pretty unfair of you to expect him to stop doing that now.”

“You don’t understand. When he was in that shoot-out…he could have been killed. Hell, you’re always calling me a worry-wart. How could I deal with wondering every night if he’s going to come home?”

“Like you wouldn’t worry anyway. It doesn’t matter if he’s with you or not, because you still care about him. And yeah, I can understand why Geoff is confused. Come on, sis,” Serena said. “You can’t have it both ways.”

“That’s not what I’m trying to do.”

“Isn’t it?” Serena paused. “You don’t want to date a cop because it’s dangerous, yet you appreciate his job when it’s to your benefit.”

“Geoff said the same thing.”

“Do you love him?”

“Love has nothing to do with compatibility.”

“Give me a break. How many couples break up yet remain the best of friends?”

“That’s because we’re better off as friends.”

“Yeah, right. Kiana, there are some things in life you can’t control. Who you fall in love with is one of them. What the future holds is another.”

“You’re in love with Darrell, aren’t you?” Kiana asked.

Kiana’s question gave Serena pause. “Maybe. Yes, I think I am. God, Kiana. I don’t know how it happened. But it did. And it feels right. It really does.” A beep sounded on her line. “Call waiting. Hold up a sec,” Serena said.

“Actually, I’ve got to go. I’m behind on my deadline.”

“Oh. Okay. Well, take care.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Later.”

Serena pressed a button and clicked over to the other line. “Hello?”

“Who’s this?” a woman asked.

Serena immediately went on guard. “Who’s
this
?”

“Someone called my place today from this number,” came the woman’s irritated reply.

“Um…oh. Yeah. I called.”

“Who are you?”

“My name is Carol. Do you know a guy named Cecil?”

“Yes,” the woman replied in a guarded tone.

“Um, I was seeing Cecil, but we’ve broken up. Anyway, I was going through his little black book and found your name. Sorry, can you please tell me who you are so I won’t bother you again? I’m making several c—”

“Tamara. What’s this about?”

God, it was Tamara! “Uh…I don’t know if you’re seeing Cecil now, and I really don’t care, but I’m trying to locate him because he has something that belongs to me.”

“Yeah, well, join the club.”

“What, he screwed you over, too?”

“Yeah, the asshole stole from me. He lied to me and told me he loved me, but that prick wouldn’t know love if it hit him over the head.”

“Do you know where I can find him now?”

“Wish I did. And good luck tracking him down. He’s been AWOL for a while, but I did see him with some nerd at a restaurant a few days ago. She’s probably got money, which means Cecil could be anywhere in the world at this point.”

“Thanks,” Serena said wryly. She swallowed her displeasure. Nerd? Had she really looked like a nerd?

“Oh, and when you find him…kick his ass for me, too.”

“Yeah, sure,” Serena said, then hung up.

Standing, she shook off her disappointment. At least Darrell didn’t think she was a nerd.

No, she thought, a smile spreading on her face. Darrell didn’t think she was a nerd at all. And that’s all that mattered.

Kiana was back in the groove of writing her article
when the phone rang. Shocked, she gave a start. Then relaxing, she reached for the phone on her desk.

“Hello?”

“Hello. I’m looking for Kiana Childs.”

Kiana’s stomach instantly dropped. This sounded formal, and considering it was after business hours, formal translated to serious. “This is she.”

“Hi. I’m calling from Kendall Medical Center.”

Kiana’s stomach kept falling, while her heart leaped to her throat. “Oh, God.” The words barely made it around her heart. “What is it? What’s happened?”

“I don’t want to alarm you, Miss Childs, but Geoff Winters was recently admitted.”

“Oh, my God.”

“He was in a car accident, but he wasn’t seriously injured. He asked that we give you a call.”

“He did?” Kiana was already on her feet, moving toward her purse.

“Yes. He’s here for observation—”

“I’m on my way.” Kiana hung up as she grabbed her purse. Then she practically flew out the apartment and to her car.

Darrell couldn’t stand another moment of this. Serena was prancing around the apartment like Holly the Happy Housewife. After they’d finally climbed out of bed, she’d made him dinner wearing nothing more than a T-shirt, she’d sat on his lap and served him stir-fry between titillating kisses, then she’d fetched him a beer without a complaint when he’d asked for a cold drink.

It was more than any rational man could stand!

He couldn’t do this anymore. He couldn’t stay here and play house. The game had been nice, but like every good thing in his life, it would come to an abrupt end.

That much he knew.

And the longer he played the game, the harder it would be to say good-bye when the time came.

“You want to watch a movie or something?” Serena suggested as she gathered his plate and brought it to the sink. “It’s kinda late to make any more calls, but we can start fresh in the morning. Besides, a movie will take our minds off—”

“Serena,” Darrell said firmly.

Whipping her head up from the sink, Serena met his eyes with a curious look. “Yes?”

Darrell blew out a ragged breath, unsure how to broach the subject. Hell, he might as well just say it. “Look, we need to talk.”

“Talk?” Serena turned on the faucets and ran water over the plates. “About what?”

Darrell cleared his throat. “Well, we need to talk about…”

Serena didn’t blink as she waited for him to get his words out.

“About…” Darrell swallowed. “Us.”

“Us?” Serena turned off the faucets. “What about us?”

Damn it all to hell. Just say what you need to say and be done already.
“I’m not sure this arrangement is working.”

Serena’s eyebrows shot up. “
Arrangement
?”

“Us working together. Serena, you have to admit the issue has gotten…clouded.”

Serena gave him a blank look. God, she wasn’t going to make this easy for him.

“We wasted precious hours in bed,” he said with difficulty. “Hours I should have been trying to find my brother.”

“Wasted?”

“Maybe that was the wrong choice of words.”

“What exactly are you saying, Darrell?”

“I’m saying…I think we’re spending too much time together,” Darrell answered. “And getting…
involved
…well, that was the last thing we should have done. For one thing, we both know it’s not going to work, and two, it’s a complete distraction from the reason why we’re together.”

If Darrell had pulled out a gun and shot her, Serena couldn’t have been more shocked.

Not going to work. Last thing we should have done.
Darrell’s words reverberated in her brain, bringing with them an overwhelming feeling of despair.

Serena looked away, then back at him. “Clear this up
for me, will you? When is the best time to tell someone you don’t think a relationship will work—before or after you get them into bed?”

“That’s not fair.”

“Isn’t it?” Disillusioned, Serena looked at him as if she’d never seen him before. “And we didn’t just…” Her eyes fluttered shut and she gripped the edge of the counter for strength before her knees gave out on her. “You took my
virginity.
”

“God, I know that.” Darrell shot to his feet. Frustrated, he ran a hand over his hair. “And I feel awful.”

“Awful,” Serena repeated in a deadpan voice.

“I don’t mean it like that…”

She glared at him. “Yes, you did. And I may be a novice at the whole sex thing, but it seems to me you picked the wrong time to decide you didn’t like me.”

“I didn’t say I didn’t like you.”

“Didn’t you?”

“I said a relationship isn’t going to work. C’mon. You don’t want to get involved with me. I’m related to Cecil, remember? The guy who ripped you off. How many times did you point out that I’m his identical twin?”

“I said it’s amazing how completely different you two are.”

“Serena, I come from a completely screwed up family. You need someone who’s normal, who believes love is more than a fairytale.”

Her lips trembled. “How could you sleep with me…take my virginity…then tell me this?”

“Serena, I’m sorry.”

“
Sorry?
”

“Fine. I’m an asshole. I let my libido get the better of me. But now that we’re both thinking clearly—”

“I don’t remember your judgment being impaired when you told me…” Serena’s voice trailed off, and she inhaled deeply to quell the disillusionment. “Told me how much you needed me.”

Darrell’s mouth fell open, but he didn’t say a word. What could he say? She was right. Every chance he’d had, he’d been all over her like white on rice. Now, he sounded like a hypocrite.

Or worse, like a guy who’d said the right thing or acted the right way simply to get into her pants.

God, he sounded like
Cecil
.

“Please, tell me you’re not…” Serena held a hand against her cheek in a worried gesture, the bracelet on her wrist jingling. Her eyes implored him to tell her what she wanted to hear.

When he didn’t, her face crumbled. “You
are
. You’re serious.” She took a step backward, paced a few steps, then took hold of the kitchen counter again as if she’d collapse if she didn’t.

Darrell opened his mouth, but not a damn word came out. Words failed him, just as they seemed to elude her.

After a moment, she whirled to face him, disenchantment written on her face in big, bold letters. “What did I do wrong? Am I not attractive enough? Is that it? I know I’m not the most glamorous woman. Am I too nerdy?—”

“No,” Darrell quickly said. “God, Serena. Nothing about you is nerdy.” He started toward her, the instinct to offer her comfort in his embrace strong. But he recovered and stopped, realizing that would be a bad thing. He
couldn’t continue touching her while telling her they couldn’t have a relationship. “Serena, you are a beautiful woman. You’re passionate.”

“Then what’s wrong with me?”

“Nothing,” Darrell replied emphatically.

“Was I bad in bed?” she pressed. “I thought the sex was good, but then, I didn’t really know what to do…”

God, he literally ached to touch her. But he couldn’t. “Serena…You were
amazing
.” A chuckle of astonishment escaped Darrell’s throat as he remembered their time together. She’d given herself to him in a way that was completely open and honest, and she had a natural wild side that drove him crazy. “Honestly, that was the best sex I’ve ever had.”

A spark lit up Serena’s eyes. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Darrell admitted frankly.

The spark went out. “Then why…why walk away from that?”

Darrell didn’t know what to say. “I…I’m just not cut out for relationships. I know how lame I sound, Serena. God, the last thing I wanted to do is hurt you.”

A mirthless chuckle fell from Serena’s lips. “Hurt me? It’s too late for that.” Serena regretted the words as soon as they left her mouth. For pride’s sake, she should have given Darrell a blasé attitude about the whole thing, as if what they’d shared hadn’t affected her life one way or the other. Because for the life of her, she couldn’t fathom how he could stand there and tell her that he’d had the best sex ever with her, yet want to run away.

“I think it’s best that I leave,” Darrell announced. “Check into a hotel.”

“You’re going to run away. Just like your brother. Must be something in the Montford genes, hmm?”

Oooh, she got him. She got him good.

And he deserved that, but still her words hurt. Hell, they stung. All his life, he’d prided himself on being different from Cecil, on not making the same kind of choices, and ultimately the same mistakes, that Cecil did. That’s what he was trying to do now—do the right thing so he
wouldn’t
hurt Serena. But she was right. He was running. Running from something he had no clue how to control. Because the last thing he wanted to do was start to hope, or dream again, only to have the dream blow up in his face.

“You were right,” Serena said after a moment, interrupting his thoughts. Her voice now exemplified chilly indifference. “What happened between us…it
was
a mistake.” She paused. “I see that now. Very clearly.”

It was what Darrell himself had said, yet hearing the words from Serena made his stomach twist in knots. “That’s what you think?”

Serena steeled her jaw. “Hey, it happened, it shouldn’t have, but we’re both adults. Neither of us is going to die over this.”

Though she jutted out her chin and spoke with confidence, Darrell saw the flash of pain in her eyes. And he felt like shit, because the last thing he wanted to do was hurt her.

“All right,” Serena said, her voice traveling on a weary breath. “Now that that’s settled, we can get back to the business of finding Cecil.”

Darrell stared at her, trying to figure her out. He’d taken her virginity, for Christ’s sake, and here she was act
ing as if she was simply writing off a bad debt. Why the hell would she still want him around?

“But if you don’t mind, I’m kinda tired.” Serena yawned, as though for effect. “I’m gonna head to bed.”

“Serena, I don’t like this.” He felt like he should say something,
any
thing else. “I feel like a first-rate pig. My timing stinks, I know—”

Serena’s eyes narrowed. “Do me a favor, Darrell.”

“What?”

“Shut up.”

Stunned, Darrell gaped at her.

“I am trying my hardest to forget that the best sexual experience for both of us ever happened. Please don’t make this more difficult.”

Darrell’s jaw was still on the floor when Serena whirled around and headed toward her bedroom.

“Holy shit, Montford, that was smooth!”

Darrell tipped his head back and looked up at the ceiling. As he lowered it, he slapped a palm against his forehead.

He’d handled this thing the wrong way. Yet as he thought back, he wasn’t sure how he could have done it differently. When Serena had started on about how bad she must have been in bed, Darrell hadn’t wanted her to feel bad, so he’d admitted that sex with her had been the best ever. But given that, the fact that he still wanted to walk away from her made him seem like either a complete jerk or a complete fool.

“Shit,” Darrell muttered. Yeah, he’d loved the sex. He could easily imagine himself hanging around with her, having more amazing experiences in bed. But it was the
next step he didn’t want, because he knew he wouldn’t be good at that, and it sure as hell wouldn’t be fair to Serena to continue something he knew was doomed from the start.

He had to think of the bigger picture. While his libido had enjoyed every second of their heated moments, he had to remember that crossing the line to sex had been one of the dumber things he could have done. He didn’t trust the institution of marriage and he sure as hell didn’t want to be a father. Raising Cecil had been job enough.

Darrell strolled into the living room and sat on a sofa, not quite sure why his brain had taken the leap from crossing the line sexually to marriage.

Hell yeah, he did. Serena was marriage material, mother material. Family was important to her, the one thing Darrell couldn’t give her.

Lord, he hoped his brother called again.

And soon.

This situation needed to end quickly so that everyone could get back to their lives.

The moment Kiana saw Geoff being wheeled toward his hospital room in a wheelchair, she flew toward him. Ignoring the nurse’s startled gasp, she promptly threw her arms around Geoff. “Oh, God, Geoff. Oh, God…”

“Ow.”

Kiana jumped backward. “Ooh, I’m sorry.”

Geoff’s face lit up in a smile. “Hey, baby. You came.”

“Of course I came. I’ve been here for a while, but you were having tests…” Kiana’s bottom lip quivered.

“I’m okay.”

“Excuse me, miss. I need to get the patient in the room.”

“Oh.” Kiana looked at the nurse, whom she’d forgotten was even there. “Of course.”

Kiana followed the nurse into the room behind the wheelchair.

Geoff was rising when the nurse said, “Uh, sir. Let me help you to the bed.”

“I can manage,” Geoff told the nurse. He was now on his feet.

“Hospital policy,” the nurse replied matter-of-factly.

Geoff moved to the bed without her help. “I’m not crippled. I’ll be just fine.”

Kiana hurried to Geoff’s side. “I’ll help him.”

The nurse gave Geoff a reproving look as he sat on the bed and stretched out. “All right. I will see you later. Ring if you need anything.”

“Sure thing,” Geoff said.

The moment the nurse was gone, Kiana gave Geoff a slow once-over, noting the bandage on his hand and the dressing on his forehead. She gently ran a finger over the dressing. “My God.”

“Baby, I’m okay.”

“When I got the call…Geoff, I was so
scared
.”

“I’m fine, sweetheart. Just in a little pain.”

Kiana made an effort to stop hyperventilating long enough to ask, “What happened?”

“I was going through the intersection at Miller and one seventeenth. Some guy ran the red light and broadsided me. Luckily, he hit the front end of the car, but I spun around three hundred and sixty degrees before plowing
into another car. I don’t remember anything after that except my airbag deploying.”