Saying Goodbye (7 page)

~

Adam made sure Mark was steady on his feet as he helped him out of the shower. He was going to blow Mark’s hair dry for him, but Mark took the blower and did it himself. Adam washed up at the sink and although it seemed Ewan and Jason were enjoying the other men’s company, it did feel as if he and his three ‘husbands’ were not part of the festivities.

Jack and Steve poked their heads into the room.
“
Is the s
hower free?” Jack asked.

Mark didn’t react, using a brush and blowing his long hair, looking into the mirror.

Adam nodded to Jack and then noticed Steve looking at his hands. Adam stopped what he was doing and asked, “What did you do?”

Mark glanced at them in the mirror quickly,
and
then resumed his drying.

“Nothing.” Steve made his way to the sink to wash up for bed.

“You’re all insane.” Adam shook his head. “Just when I think my clients are the crazy ones, you three outdo them.” He left the bathroom and turned down the king-sized bed.

Adam
didn’t know about the rest of them, but he was ready to sleep. Nothing made sense anymore, and he knew even though Ewan was a friend and client, the next time he wanted to see them, Ewan had to come to LA. No more. He was saying goodbye to this estate.

One by one the men came to bed, Steve at one end, Adam at the other, and Jack and Mark nestled in-between.

When Adam noticed Steve spoon Mark, and Mark allowing it, he sighed with relief and closed his eyes, falling quickly to sleep.

Just wearing gym shorts, Billy sat at his desk in the bedroom of his and Alex’s home
in Bel Air
and tried to catch Alex on Skype. Alex was not logged onto it at the moment. So, Billy called him. He got voicemail. “Alex? I thought you said we would be able to hook up tonight. Where are you? Call me, or Skype me. I’ll leave the computer on.” Bill
y hung up and left the computer to go and lie
on
his
bed
. He
star
ed
at the ceiling.

He thought about Mark wanting to see the SWAT gear. It made him smile. Billy shook his head.
Mark Antonious, you have a police fetish like I have never seen in my life.

He wondered how often Steve got his old LAPD uniform out of the closet for role playing.
If I was you, Miller? I’d wear that uniform all day and night to get Mark hot
.

Though Billy wasn’t with the SWAT team any longer, his guys wouldn’t mind having Mark there. Mark was so well known in the celebrity rags and columns, not to mention his and Alex’s billboards all over Hollywood, they would find it amusing, flattering.

And, they knew Billy was gay. Out. So Mark wouldn’t be subjected to sneers.

If anyone sneers at that man, I’ll beat them senseless
.

Billy waited for Alex to respond. He checked the time again. “Christ, Alex!” Billy began to get a sinking feeling in his gut about Alex being on his own in Rome. And even though Mark had ‘worked things out’ with Randy Dawson, Billy had a bad feeling that handsome mega star would make a play for Alex.

One night, when Alex was too drunk to say no? Too horny because he wasn’t getting his nightly fucking? Fisting? Alex may weaken.

Billy had to accept the fact
that
while they were apart, there was nothing Billy could do. It was about trust. And both he and Alex had cheated before, on their last boyfriends. It was how they met. Through Angel Loveday. Billy and Angel lived together with Angel’s son Oliver. And while Billy and Angel
were a couple
, Oliver and Alex had a relationship.

Then
…
Alex and Billy cheated on those men.

What was there to
do to
prevent another event like that occurring?

Billy looked at his gold wedding ring. Why wasn’t Alex wearing his? He wasn’t filming. He was partying in the room.

Billy touched his upper arm, a spot where he had
a
tattoo
of
barbed wire with Alexander’s name scrolled into it. Alex, in turn, had a gold lieutenant’s badge with ‘Billy’ and ‘Forever’ tattooed near his pelvis.

Big deal. Tattoos weren’t chastity belts.

Billy sc
ann
ed through his phone apps and numbers. He called Alex again, but this time didn’t leave a message.

What were days on the
filming
set like?

Billy tried to imagine they were all consuming, exhausting, and Alex’s insatiable appetite for cock would be lessened by his need for sleep.

But he knew his husband
;
t
he young man twenty years his junior. Alex needed to be fucked. A lot.

Billy grew angry and impatient. He rolled off the bed and sat at the computer again, checking his emails. His nephew Matt had emailed him, so he sent him one back. Billy wasn’t keen on social networks or computers. He had enough of it at work, now that he was part of the administration and no longer on the front lines.

He
logge
d
off
his
email and the
computer screen reverted to the homepage. A photo caught Billy’s eye.

Alex.

He clicked the article to not only enlarge the photo but to read the text.

‘
Alexander Mark Richfield Stars in His First George Ford Blockbuster, Bedtime Stories!
’ The photo was of Alex, shirtless, his long dark hair blowing back from his face and shoulders, looking like a greek god.

‘…
Co-starring with the multi-talented mega star Randy Dawson, Alexander is wowing the cast and crew in Rome, where the filming is being shot. The locations are spectacular, and rumor has it, Ford has another winner on his hands…
’

Billy kept reading, distracted by the unbelievable photo of his husband on the article.

‘…
away from his
forty-
four
-
year
-
old
LAPD Captain Billy Sharpe, rumor has it that Alex has been seen out with two luscious Italian co-stars, gallivanting and enjoying what the Eternal City has to offer
.’

Billy snarled.

“…
Lord only knows what a young stallion like Alexander Richfield can do to light up this ancient city. We all know Alexander’s hunger for macho gladiators!
’

Billy couldn’t read another word. He looked to see if Alex was on Skype. He was not. Billy typed him a message using that application. ‘
Where are you?
’

The urge to punch something became strong. Billy looked at
the damaged wall and then
his knuck
les, still swollen and raw
,
with more
redness
added
by
hammering the weight bag without gloves in the precinct gym. He glanced over his shoulder at the hole in the plasterboard
, knowing he had to repair it before Alex returned
.

If he didn’t get to see Alex, or get out of the house he was going to lose his mind.

He scrolled through his phone numbers and when he spotted Mickey and Jeff’s, he hesitated. He couldn’t socialize with them now. Not if he had to take disciplinary action.

Mark’s number came up on his list.

He tossed the phone onto his bed and rubbed his eyes in exhaustion. Then, on a whim, he typed,
Mark Antonious Richfield
into the search engine, hitting, ‘images’.

“Oh God…” Billy could not believe the photographs of this man. His ads, shots from paparazzi, his promotion photos from the few guest appearances from the television shows and…

The centerfold Mark did for a UK magazine. Nude, wearing a mask.

That cock. That fucking cock.

Alex took after his father, and taking a cock that big was not fun. But Alex knew how deep he could go
when he topped Billy
, and never took advantage.

Billy stared at Mark’s
bare
chest, his
long, thick
hair,
and
his full lips.

He grew hard.

Standing, Billy got the tissue box and lubrication from the nightstand and sat back down after he stripped off his gym shorts. Using gel on his palm, Billy grabbed his cock and stared at that photo. He wondered how many men and women had jerked off to it. Millions.

But Billy knew Mark
; k
new his smell, his voice, his life.

The thought of Mark wanting to come with him to see the boys practice SWAT training, Mark’s cop fetish, the way Mark held Billy’s uniform after the promotion ceremony
, sniffing it…

Billy knew
another thing
.

If he wanted Mark Antonious Richfield? He could have him on a silver platter.

Billy cupped the head of his cock and came, closing his eyes and making sure he didn’t get cum on the keyboard.

He milked his dick a few times then used the tissues to clean up, staring at Mark in that
sexy Mardi Gras-style
mask, and knowing a hookup between them would be so easy.

But…

Nothing was kept secret for long. And that kind of behavior? Well, it would be the end of his relationship with all of Mark’s friends, and
…
Alexander.

So. It could never happen.

Billy
closed
down
the computer, washed up for bed, and shut off his phone. If Alex wanted him? Tough shit. It was too late.

~

Alexander was dead on his feet.

They had done the same scene again and again. This time Mr Ford was not happy.

Though they had started at nine in the morning, it was ten at night, and Alex couldn’t think, let alone remember his lines.

The set up for
one of
the scene
s
was with Alex’s character being mugged, and saved by Randy’s character. His exhaustion was making him make mistakes in the dialogue, and not only was Mr Ford growing angry, the cast and crew were as well.

Alex felt as if he w
as
too much of an amateur for this type of film. The sex scenes were easy. He’d d
one so many in the vampire drama
. But set up like this? Having a man jump him, put an arm around his throat to choke him?

Alex had no idea how to react, so he had to learn. And the learning curve was horrifying him. His natural reaction would be to fight, to claw at the assailant
and
go for his nuts. Not this. Not act helpless.

So again, even though his brain was shot, and he could barely keep his eyes open, the glowing clapper night board was held up and Alex had to go through this scene again. And his neck was killing him. How many times could he be choked without it actually hurting
?
And! He had to remember to use his accent when his adrenalin was surging. This actor was not pretending
to choke him
. And no doubt Mr Ford wanted the reality. If the action called for a smack in th
e face, you got fucking smacked.

The crew got ready for filming.

“Scene thirty-four alpha. Take fifteen.”

“Sound speed.”

“Camera ready.”

Alex stood in the dark alley in his jacket and scarf and dreaded the assault.
At least for
a
few moments, he had no dialogue.

“Action!” George Ford shouted
as he stood behind a monitor
.

Out of nowhere he was attacked.
Alex grabbed at the arm that choked him from behind as he was dragged backwards into a narrow alley between stone buildings.

Alex opened his
lips
to yell for help, but a hand cupped his mouth.

“Who are you?” a deep male voice growled in his ear, with a very thick accent, making the hair stand on Alex’s neck. He was in so much pain, Alex struggled to keep going
and not kick the idiot in the knee to get him to let go
.

Alex shook his head, trying to rid the hand that covered his mouth.
He was about to bite it out of frustration.

“What is your name?” The man choked Alex as if he was truly out to kill him, making him gasp for air and claw at the man’s arm.

A soundless wind moved
by Alex
’s ear. He was released suddenly and spun around.
Randy
had his assailant, holding him by his face, as if using his eyes and mouth like a bowling ball’s holes, nearly blinding him.

Alex
gasped
, as scripted,
and backed up, reaching for the walls of the building.

The attacker was dragged as if he were a ragdoll
by Randy, who was
a
very powerful
ly built man
. From where
he
was,
Alex
could only see movement, and heard nothing.
But he knew Randy was supposedly giving the guy a good pummeling. Alex hoped Randy was.

The man who had grabbed
Alex
lay still on the wet ground
.
Randy
rifled
through the man’s pockets.

Alex was near tears. This was the last scene scheduled for the night, and he was about to cry if he didn’t get some rest.

Randy returned to Alex and asked, “Are you hurt?”

With real tears about to run down his cheeks, Alex shook his head no, and bit his lip on exploding with emotions. He wanted Billy. He wanted his man.

Call cut. Call cut! What more can we do? Call cut!

“Cut!”

Alex spun to face a wall, ashamed of his weakness, wiping at his eyes. Randy did nothing to comfort him, walking away and taking a bottle of water from an assistant.

N
ot one person came near Alex as he waited to see if he had to do this once more, again, and again, and again. George Ford demanded perfection.

Finally Mr Ford said,
“We’re done. Get your sides for tomorrow.”

Alex looked up at the starry night sky and thanked God. He wiped at his face as he cried silently and was handed paperwork. The cast began walking back to the hotel which was only two blocks from the shooting as the crew wrapped up their equipment.

Alex looked for Giovani and Emilo, but they were not behind him. They knew Rome. He wouldn’t be surprised if they headed to a local café for dinner.

Did they invite him? No.

Alex entered the hotel and used the elevator, hoping no one else got inside with him. He
repeatedly
poked the number to his floor, and thankfully the elevator
door
closed. He was alone, seeing his tears in the mirrored wall of the small space. He removed his key from his pocket and headed to his room. Once inside he fell on the bed, the paperwork for tomorrow’s shoot crushed in his hand and he wailed.

Alex cried and curled into a ball, still wearing his jacket and scarf.

And this was only the beginning. He had weeks and weeks of shooting. Calming down slightly, Alex located his phone and called Billy. When it
went to
voicemail he so
bbed and said into the recorder
, “Billy…” he choked up and couldn’t say another word. He hung up and called his father.

“Bloody hell, Alexander. Do you know what time it is?”

“Dad…” Alex began crying at hearing his father’s voice. “I’m sorry to wake you.”

“Are you all right?”

“No. I’m a wreck.”

“What’
s happened, love? Is Randy behaving?”

“He’s ignoring me. He doesn’t give a shit.”

“What is it you want him to do? I asked him to behave. Alex, talk to me.”

“It’s hard.” Alex began to feel like a baby and wiped at his eyes, seeing the makeup smear on his hand. “It’s so hard. I can’t do it. I’m not that good. I can’t do it.”

“Oh, lovely. You can. You just started. Adam told you it would be exhausting.”

“I’m all alone here. I’m all alone.” Alex looked around the room.

“I heard you had made some nice friends. Your co-stars.”

Alex blinked and his wet lashes felt cold. “Where did you hear that?”

“From Billy. He was quite jealous, Alexander. He said you were drinking in your room yesterday
with some pretty boys
.”

“Dad
,
it wasn’t like that.
” Alex used his sleeve to wipe his eyes and nose. “He didn’t think I che
ated with them, did he? Oh, God.
”

“No. I don’t think so. He was just upset. He said it
’
s been difficult getting through to you. Did you call him now?”

“I did.
All I got was his v
oicemail.”

“Oh, lovely. Calm yourself. Please. You are just exhaus
ted. I suggest a hot soak and
sleep.”

Alex calmed down, nodding. “Yes. Okay.”

“You can do this. You are wonderful. Do you hear me? It is hard work. Everyone thinks being an actor is a piece of cake. You and I know differently.”

“And the difference between TV and film?” Alex whistled. “Wow. I am so wiped out.”

Mark chuckled. “And you thought Charlotte was bad?”

Alex knew his father was referring to Charlotte Deavers, who directed the television show.
“Never again!”
Alex smiled. “Thanks, Dad.”

“You stop fretting. Just take it a step at a time. You are my hero
,
Alex
ander
. A man at your age doing a big film? You should be very proud.”

Alex’s tension dissolved. “I love you.”

“I love you too, my baby. And Keith and Carl are always around for a pep talk if you can’t get a hold of Billy. All right? They are actors. They can relate.”

“I’m good now.” Alex sat up and looked at
his dirty hands. “A shower and
sleep. You’re right. Then I have to get back to memorizing tomorrow’s script.”

“You can do it. Believe in yourself.”

“Thanks, Dad.”

“If I manage to get
a
hold of Billy, I’ll make sure he does his best to find the time for you two to connect. You do realize he is going as mad as you are without you.”

Alex smiled. “Good. I mean
…
you know what I mean.”

“I do.”

“Love you.”

“You too.”

Alex disconnected the phone and sighed, getting off the bed, leaving the paperwork on it and stripping for a shower.