Scam Chowder (25 page)

Authors: Maya Corrigan

BOOK: Scam Chowder

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“He left the store happy, convinced Junie May would accept him. By the time he arrived at the dinner, his mood had changed. Everyone said he wasn't his usual charming and talkative self. I think he told his mother his marriage plans on the way to the chowder dinner, and she did not react well. She sprinkled arsenic on the chowder she passed to Junie May, who gave it to Scott.”

“Thomasina didn't stop him from eating the poisoned chowder.”

“She tried. She asked him to drive her home because she felt sick. He refused, choosing the wrong moment to assert his independence. From then on, she had no use for him. She'd probably say it was his own fault he was dead. He should have listened to his mother.”

Roy chewed rapidly. “Once he was dead, why did she kill Junie May? Thomasina wasn't getting him back again.”

“Junie May might have figured out the poisoned chowder was meant for her. Besides, Thomasina must have wanted to punish the woman who deprived her of her loyal son and accomplice.”

“That gives us some buttons to push when we're talking to her. It sounds like we need a psychiatrist to see her.” The deputy stood up. “Thanks for your help. Maybe we can get together whenâ”

He broke off as Granddad and Lillian came out of the house. The phone rang. Granddad went back inside to answer it, and Lillian approached Val.

Roy excused himself and left.

Lillian extended her hand to Val. “I just want to say good-bye. Take care . . . of yourself and your grandfather. You're good for him.”

A final farewell if Val had ever heard one. “He's good for me too. So long, Lillian.”

Val sat in the glider. She felt sorry for her grandfather, disappointed in the first woman to capture his heart since Grandma had died.

He came outside, joined Val on the glider, and rocked it. “Did Lillian tell you? She's moving back home.”

“It's not that far to Annapolis. You can still see her.”

“We agreed that wouldn't work.”

Val couldn't tell which of them had agreed first. “Are you going to give up the recipe column now? Its only purpose was to attract her.”

“I'll keep it up for a while. Any man who can cook is a chick magnet.”

Val laughed, delighted that his experience with Lillian wouldn't make him leery of other women. “Was that a
chick
calling you on the phone?”

“Yes, a reporter for the
Treadwell Gazette.
She wants to interview me about my role in catching the murderer. I sure hope she uses the headline I suggested.
CODGER COOK CRACKS CASE.
It has a nice ring to it.”

Val pulled her earlobe. “A false ring. I know you like publicity for the recipe columnâ”

“This has nothing to do with that.” Granddad flicked his wrist, dismissing his recipe column as a trifle. “I need the publicity to launch my next careerâprivate eye to senior citizens.”

Recipes from the Codger Cook

WATERMAN'S CLAM CHOWDER

This simple recipe lets the taste of the clams shine through. If you don't like the briny flavor, you can add milk, cream, or tomatoes at the end and turn it into another kind of chowder. Some folks like to steam the clams first because they're easier to shuck that way than when raw. But if you do that, you're more likely to end up with clams that are overcooked and tough.

50 littleneck clams
2 medium onions, peeled and chopped fine
3 medium potatoes, peeled and cut into Â½-inch cubes
Â¼ pound diced bacon, salt pork, or pancetta 1 bottle clam juice
[Salt and pepper to taste]

Wash, shuck, and chop the clams, catching all the liquid. Strain it through cheesecloth.

Fry out the pork. Add the onions and cook them over medium heat until soft, but not brown.

Put the potatoes in a pot with the pork and onions. Add the clam liquor you saved, the bottled clam juice, and enough water to cover the potatoes and give them a space to swim. Bring it all to a boil, reduce the heat, and cook covered until the potatoes are tender, about 20 minutes.

Add the chopped clams and cook for 2-3 minutes. Don't overcook the chowder unless you want to spend a lot of time chewing on tough clams.

Season with salt and pepper to taste, and serve immediately.

Serves 4 as a main dish or 6 as an appetizer.

Adapted from Tangier Island Fifty-Clam Chowder in
Chesapeake Bay Cooking
by John Shields.

ONE UGLY SPREAD

Why would you serve this ugly glop? Because it's easy to make, and it tastes good. Your guests won't care how it looks if you can convince them to try it.

Â½ cup pitted Kalamata olives drained
Â¼ cup chopped walnuts
Â½ cup raisins
1 tablespoon olive oil
2 teaspoons balsamic vinegar

Combine all the ingredients in a food processor. Chop until the mix holds together enough that you can spread it.

Put it in a pretty bowl and make it more appetizing by sprinkling chopped parsley on top.

Serves 8 as an appetizer.

CRUNCHY LIME CHICKEN

Key lime juice tastes best with this chicken dish, but any lime juice works. Though the chicken doesn't take long to cook, you need to think ahead. It marinates in the yogurt mix for two hours before it goes in the oven.

12 chicken tenders or 4 boneless skinless chicken breast halves, cut lengthwise into quarters
Â½ cup plain low-fat Greek yogurt
2 tablespoons Dijon mustard
2 tablespoons of Key lime (or other lime) juice, bottled or freshly squeezed
1Â½ cups of packaged herb-seasoned stuffing, crushed

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees (after the chicken has marinated).

Combine the yogurt, the lime juice, and the mustard. Marinate the chicken in the mix, covered in the refrigerator, for two hours.

Lift the chicken from the yogurt mix and let any excess marinade drip off. Roll the chicken pieces in the crushed stuffing, pressing in the crumbs to make them stick.

Place the chicken on a baking sheet and bake it for 10 to 12 minutes.

Serves 4-6.

NO-CRUST NO-FUSS SPINACH PIE

Why would you bake a pie without a crust? Because it takes less time, makes less mess, and uses fewer ingredients. You need a tart pan with a removable bottom to make this spinach pie.

1 pound baby spinach
1 medium onion chopped
2 large beaten eggs
8 ounces ricotta cheese
8 ounces freshly grated Parmesan (or similar hard) cheese
[Optional sprinkles of pepper and nutmeg, no more than Â¼ teaspoon of each]

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

Steam the spinach until it wilts. Drain it, chop it, and press out extra moisture with paper towels.

Mix the onion, eggs, and cheeses. Add pepper or nutmeg to taste. Fold in the spinach.

Grease the tart pan with cooking oil spray and put in the spinach mixture.

Bake for 30 minutes or until barely brown on the edges. Stick a knife in the center of the pie to make sure it's set. If the knife comes out soupy, bake for another five minutes and test it again.

Remove the pan from the oven and wait five minutes before removing the side of the tart pan. Serve the pie warm.

Serves 4.

Adapted from
Irish Country Cooking: More Than 100 Recipes for Today's Table
by the Irish Countrywomen's Association.

DUMMY RUM CAKE

Any dummy can make this cake. You just throw five ingredients into a bowl and mix. You can make it into a fancier, sweeter, and more fattening dessert by frosting it or drizzling a glaze made of rum, butter, and sugar over it. Or you can eat the slimmer version and take a second helping.

1 yellow cake mix (15 to 16 ounces)
3 eggs
Â½ cup cold water

cup vegetable oil (not olive oil)
Â½ cup dark rum
[Optional cup of chopped pecans]

Preheat the oven to 325 degrees.

Cover the inside of a 10- to 12-inch tube or Bundt pan with cooking spray. If you're using the chopped nuts, sprinkle them in the bottom of the pan.

Mix the other ingredients in a big bowl running the mixer for two minutes. Pour the batter into the pan.

Bake 50-55 minutes until the cake is golden brown and a wooden toothpick comes out clean.

Cool the cake for ten minutes and turn it upside down.

CRUMBLY NUT ROUNDS

You roll the dough for these cookies into balls and put them on the cookie sheet. Be careful not to tip the sheet when you pick it up, or the dough balls might roll away. You can make them stay put by flattening them with the bottom of a glass.

1 stick (half a pound) of unsalted butter, softened
Â¼ cup sugar
Â¾ cup coarsely ground pecans or hazelnuts
1 cup sifted cake flour (or 1 cup minus 2 tablespoons of sifted all-purpose flour)
Â½ teaspoon vanilla
[Optional pinch of salt and sifted confectioners' sugar]

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

Cream the butter with the sugar. Stir in the nuts.

Add the sifted flour in two batches. Stir in the vanilla and the salt (no more than

teaspoon).

Chill the dough in the refrigerator for 30 minutes, covered with plastic wrap.

Shape tablespoons of dough into a 1-inch balls and place them on an ungreased cookie sheet, 2 inches apart.

Bake 15-17 minutes, until cookies are set and just beginning to brown lightly.

Cool on the baking sheet for 5 minutes. Transfer the cookies to a rack to cool further. If desired, sift confectioners' sugar over the cookies.

Yields approximately 30 cookies.

Val's Trivia Questions

1.
University of Maryland athletic teams share a name with the diamond-backed turtles native in this region. What is the name?

2.
Which of these organs are not considered vital to lifeâthe appendix, the liver, the gallbladder, the spleen?

3.
What married couple, both Oscar winners, starred in the 1973 TV movie
Divorce His, Divorce Hers
and, a year later, divorced in real life?

4.
What is the official fish of the state of Maryland, also known as striped bass?

5.
Some patients in emergency rooms have pyrexia. Is that a burn, an eating disorder, a fever, or a skin infection?

6.
Cafe Montmartre opened in 1923 as the first nightclub in what U.S. city: New York, Las Vegas, Hollywood, or Baltimore?

7.
Name one of the two major league teams that had a home in Griffith Stadium.

8.
Two mothers and two daughters go out for coffee and a doughnut. They spend fifteen dollars altogether and each one spent the same amount. Did they each spend four dollars, five dollars, six dollars, or none of those?

9.
The sweet taste of this antifreeze component makes it dangerous to animals and children who might drink it accidentally. Is it isopropyl alcohol, ethanol, ethylene glycol, or corn syrup?

10.
What name was used by film directors from 1968 to 2000 when they didn't want their own name to appear in the credits? Was it Stacy Smith, Alan Smithee, John Smithson, or Sandy Shore?

ANSWERS

1.
Terrapin

2.
Appendix, gallbladder, spleen

3.
Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton

4.
Rockfish

5.
Fever

6.
Hollywood

7.
Washington Senators or Washington Redskins

8.
Five dollars (spent by three women: a grandmother, mother, and daughter)

9.
Ethylene glycol

10.
Alan Smithee