Chapter 124
William was the first person Nikki saw when she opened her eyes following surgery on her left arm. The bullet had made a clean exit, but because of the amount of blood she had lost, doctors wanted to keep her under observation for a while.
“Hi,” William said, leaning down to kiss her forehead.
“How are you?” she asked.
William laughed. “Seems that I should be asking you that.”
“Oh, I'm fine,” Nikki said, shrugging the shoulder that wasn't bandaged. She recalled the events leading to her hospitalization. Danielle's confessions had unraveled the tale of Olivia's murderous plot. Nikki felt grateful to Danielle for sharing her painful past. She silently vowed to find professional help for her friend so Danielle could deal with her mental scars. But Nikki would sort all that out later. For now, she wanted to focus on her family. She looked around the hospital room.
“Where is Psalm?”
“She's at my mom's,” William said.
“At your mom's?”
“Yeah, and don't worry,” William said. “My mom has been calling up here every five minutes, it seems, asking how you are doing. She wants to have a big party for you when you get out of the hospital.”
Nikki's brows shot up. “Your mom wants to throw a party for me?” Saying the nine-word sentence made Nikki even more tired.
Will nodded. “Yeah, she thinks you're a superhero. And so do I. I always knew you were a superwoman.”
It had taken her a long time to realize her own strength. “I'm surprising myself these days. I never knew I had it in me,” Nikki whispered through cracked, dry lips.
She tried to reach for a cup on the stand next to the bed, but she was too weak. William gently helped her sit up at an angle, and then he held the cup of water while she drank some through a straw.
After she had satisfied her thirst, William tenderly took her free hand in both of his and kissed it. He was on his knees next to her bed. “Baby, I'm so sorry if I ever made you feel like I didn't respect your strength.”
“I think mostly I doubted it,” Nikki said. “I was so afraid of just living. I didn't want to trust God because I couldn't
see
Him, and I thought that meant I couldn't rely on Him. And then I didn't want to trust myself because I always doubted what I was made of because I had made wrong choices before.”
Nikki smiled weakly. “And I didn't trust you to be the man I know you are, because I was judging you based on others in my life, like my father. He ran out, so I think I expected you to run out.”
William sighed. “And that's exactly what I did.” His tone was sad.
Nikki shook her head. “No, you never really went anywhere. I think I always knew that, deep in my heart. But I let my fear make me think otherwise. I tried to tiptoe around you, thinking if I was just good enough, you would see my worth. And would love me if I was the perfect wife. I didn't stand up for myself. And not only that, I lied because I didn't trust God's love in you to forgive me for my past.”
“I'm sorry I couldn't see your hurt,” William said. “And that I tried to impose my will on you. If you'll have me back, there are going to be some changes. We're going to move to a house we can affordâon our own. The business is going better, so we'll have the money, and of course, my new mayor's salary. You were right. I was trying to fake it 'til I made it, trying to pretend that I had all this money, but I realize now that I don't need to pretend. I am the wealthiest man I know, because I have you and I have Psalm. And we're going to get our finances in order so we can have the freedom we want. We're going to do things the way you were suggesting all along.”
Nikki nodded, and William continued. “And if you want to go to work, it's not fair for me to keep that from you. I know you are really good at what you do and it would be a shame to rob the world of your beautiful photography.”
Nikki smiled again. “I'm glad you say that, because I have an interview next week with
USA Today
.”
“
USA Today
? That's great!”
Nikki was glad he was as excited as she was. She had made the decision to go for the job even if it meant going against her husband, because she knew she was no longer the scared, timid girl who was afraid to assert herself. Now, she knew that even if nobody else would be there for her, she would be there for herself.
She knew God was the greatest ally of all, and He was right there with her, even if she could not see Him. She knew God had created, in her, strength to face whatever lay ahead. Faith allowed her to have that confidence. She could not change her past. She wasn't perfect, and she didn't have to be. God loved her anyway. And what's more, she loved herself.
“Yeah, it's kind of cool, huh?” Nikki smirked. “Imagine me. Shooting pictures for
USA Today
!”
“Yeah, so I'm going to have to step aside and let you be the big shot, huh?” William smiled.
“Maybe we can both be big shots,” Nikki said. “We'll take turns. You shine, I shine. After all, you're a big-time political leader now, Mr. Mayor. So we'll just support each other's dreams. I build you up, you build me up.”
“I love you.” William kissed her on the lips.
“I love you more.”
“I love you more than more.”
Readers' Guide Questions
1.
Nikki and William had two different desires for their family. Nikki wanted to be a career woman. William wanted her to be a stay-at-home mom. They had agreed early on they would follow William's plan. Was Nikki wrong to want to revise that plan, put her child in school and go to work, or was William wrong for wanting to hold her to that plan? Explain.
2.
Nikki found it easier to give advice than to take it. Have you ever been in a situation where you've given advice you didn't want to take? What happened?
3.
Nikki thought faith meant doing the best she could and letting God do the rest. William thought faith meant praying about a situation and then trusting God to fix it. Who was right? Why?
4.
Have you ever struggled with your faith during a time of crisis? How did you face that?
5.
Our key characters were professed Christians living their lives. Did their actions show them to be “true” Christians? Why or why not? How do you determine what is a “true” Christian?
6.
Did those lifelong Christians around Nikki hold any responsibility for helping her along her faith walk? Why or why not?
7.
Did your opinion of Danielle change over the course of the book? If so, how?
8.
William had a strong desire to be the sole supporter of his family. Was this an honorable desire or was this selfish? Explain your answer.
9.
Each of the primary characters faced critical choices at different points. How do their choices relate to the choices each of us face in our daily lives?
10.
Did William take advantage of the situation with Olivia, or was he an innocent victim of her ploys?
11.
Did Nikki show strength by yielding to her husband's wishes of having her be a stay-at-home mom, or did she show weakness? How would you have handled the situation?
12.
How important was it that Nikki did not tell William about her past? Must a person share every part of his or her past with a spouse or are some things private?
13.
What problems did Danielle have? Did you see her as a selfish, narcissistic woman, a hurting soul with scars, a mentally ill person, or something else entirely?
14.
What kind of relationship did Nikki and Danielle have? Did one person take unfair advantage of the relationship or did they each benefit from the friendship?
15.
What messages did you see in this book?
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Scandalous Truth Copyright © 2009 Monica P. Carter
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