Scarlet Awakening (Sweet Secrets #2) (12 page)

While the guys were going back and forth, I surreptitiously glanced over April, and the other girl that was with her and Shane. I recognized her from the game of Frisbee Carter had been playing on the beach.

When she saw me looking at her, she extended her tanned hand toward me and smiled. “Hey, I’m Christa. I moved here a few months ago.”

I awkwardly shook her hand and offered a smile back. “Lena. Nice to meet you.”

“Lena moved away last summer before the school year started,” April said, taking it upon herself to fill her friend in. “She and Carter used to date.” I didn’t miss the way she said the sentence in a teasing tone, or the way she rolled her eyes lightly as she said it.

“Actually, we got back together,” I interjected with a forced smile. I didn’t like April trying to ruin my mood, and I wasn’t going to let her. I was a little competitive. “I guess he couldn’t get over me.”

Christa smiled. “I wish a guy would wait for me. That is
so
cute.”

April shrugged. “Maybe.”

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. “Maybe?” I repeated, staring her in the eye.

She nodded. “Yeah, maybe. For Carter’s sake I hope you don’t take after your mom. Hopefully that saying, ‘the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree’ doesn’t apply here.” She curved her red lipstick-stained mouth into a smirk.

Carter looked at me, a curious expression on his face. He had no clue what she was talking about, and neither did anyone else from the identical looks on their faces.

I frowned up at April, hating the fact that she was standing and I was sitting. “What are you implying?”

April looked happy that I asked. She looked down at her hand as she twisted a gaudy looking ring around her finger, feigning innocence. “Oh nothing, really. I just heard from one of your sister’s friends that your mom is in the hospital for a psychotic break. I guess that’s what happens when you have an affair, and you realize that neither of your children’s fathers want to be with you.” She raised her eyes and stared me directly in the eye.

I wasn’t threatened by it, though. I just shook my head in disbelief. I thought about how I would have handled a situation like this last year. I probably would have punched her for opening her big mouth and talking about my family and things she had no direct knowledge of. Instead, I took a page out Violet’s book and retaliated with words.

I smiled sweetly, turning some in my seat to face her. “Well, you of all people would know a lot about sleeping with a guy and then realizing he doesn’t want to be with you, wouldn’t you, April? I would think it hurt even more when the guy that you liked
so much
called out someone else’s name while he was having sex with you. Wouldn’t it?” I gave her a pitying expression, and then reached for a fry.

Carter widened his eyes, then bit his lip to keep from laughing.

Shane wasn’t as nice about it, because he laughed openly. Then he even said, “
Ouch,
” and shook his hand like he had just gotten burned. Shane obviously knew what I was referring to. Christa didn’t. I hadn’t wanted to mention their hook-up because Carter felt bad about using her, but she deserved it. How dare she try to talk about my family?

April frowned, then rolled her eyes and stormed off. Christa waved goodbye awkwardly and ran after her, leaving Carter, Shane, and me.

Shane laughed again. “Why’d you have to do her like that, Lena?” He shook his head.

I sipped my shake. “No one talks about my family.”

He nodded. Then, he glanced at our plates and said, “Do you mind if I join you two?”

Carter looked me in the eyes and smiled softly. I felt the anger that had boiled up inside of me begin to recede. He squeezed my hand again, before letting it go and grabbing a fry as he said, “We mind.”

Chapter 21

The front door opened and in walked my mom and grandparents. They noticed Ella and me on the couch, and all came over. Mom was the only one forcing a smile. Grandma excused herself, saying that she needed to start dinner, but I could see the strained look in her expression. She looked haggard and worn out. She just needed some time alone where she didn’t need to worry about my mom anymore and could collect herself.

Ella stood up from her position on the couch next to me and crossed the room to hug Mom. “Glad you’re back,” she said, offering her a smile.

Mom kissed Ella’s forehead. “So am I,” she said, pushing her hair off of her cheek and tucking it behind her ear. Her head was still wrapped for healing purposes. “I’m exhausted. I think I’m just going to go upstairs and get some rest.” I examined her face, noticing that her eyes were red.

“Go get some rest then. We’ll check on you in a bit, and let you know when dinner is ready if you like,” Ella said, patting Mom’s shoulder supportively.

I smiled then, thinking about her ‘meals’ when she was in the hospital. She had strawberry Jell-O, and drank lots of fluids. “Maybe it will be nice to eat something other than Jell-O for a change.”

Mom chuckled lightly. “None of their other meals were edible.”

“That’s because you’re used to Grandma’s cooking,” I replied.

“You girls have been spoiled with good food since you were born. All of you,” Grandpa chimed in. He was standing the farthest from us. He rested a hand on his stomach and added, “I’ve been spoiled since marriage.”

Mom smiled at her dad, and even in her tired state I could see the love and adoration that filled her eyes. “Lucky guy,” she said. “All right, don’t forget to grab me for dinner.” Then she headed out of the living room and up the stairs.

Once we heard her door shut, Grandpa came over and took a seat in his lounge chair, and Ella came back to the couch.

“Do you think she’s going to be all right now?” I asked Grandpa.

He turned and looked back at me. “I don’t know, but I sure hope so. They changed her medication, so hopefully that helps.” His face looked hopeful, but his voice didn’t match. He sounded like he didn’t think she would ever get better and get her life back on track.

“Why did they change her meds?” Ella asked. “Did they cause her panic attack?”

Grandpa shrugged. “Her doctor said that they may have added to her anxiety, so they switched her depression medication to one that has a lower risk of that side effect.” He sighed and rubbed his temple. Then he pushed himself up to his feet. “I think I’ll go help your grandmother. I’m so damn tired, but I’m also a bit restless too.”

“I know the feeling,” I muttered as he left the room. I wasn’t tired right now, but I had been yesterday, and being stressed about what to do about Carter, and worrying about my mom, had gotten to me. Now I was starting to feel better. More like my old self. Mom was home, and there was the prospect that she would get better and not worse, and Carter and I were back together. We had been texting all day long. It was like our relationship had picked back up where we’d left off and nothing had changed. We were still friends, and there was never a lull in our conversations.

Last night after our date, he had walked me home, holding my hand the whole way. Then when he had gotten home, we were texting and just decided to talk on the phone instead. He called me, and I filled him in on the past year. I told him about Violet, and what she had gone through with Blake, Brianna, and even Ella. He thought Violet sounded nice, but he didn’t think that she should have given Blake another chance. I kind of agreed, but then I didn’t as well. Everyone deserves a second chance, because after all, we’re just human and we make mistakes. Nobody’s perfect. That’s for sure.

“Are you worried about Mom?” Ella asked, pulling me out of my mental reverie.

I faced her and tilted my head some. “You know, not really. I think she’s strong, and she can get better.”

Ella bit her lip. “That’s true, but I’m still worried.”

“About what? Her not getting better?”

She focused her green eyes on me. “About her not being happy.”

I leaned back in the chair some, and sighed. “It’s hard to be happy sometimes.”

“I know,” she replied. “I wish we could do something to help her though.”

“Like what?” I questioned, meeting her gaze.

She ran a hand through her straightened red hair. Then she folded her legs up beneath her and tilted her head back in thought. It only took her a moment before she jumped, and smiled hard. “What if we get her and John together for real?” She clapped her hands together, like it was the best idea ever. “Why didn’t I think of this before?”

I stared at her, a dumbfounded expression on my face. “Probably because it’s unrealistic.”

She frowned, obviously annoyed at my lack of excitement. “It is not. Just think, if we could get them back together, then Mom would be happy. It would reunite her and John, and the twins. They’d grow up knowing who their birth mom is.”

I thought about her words for a second, thinking about how happy Mom would be to be back in their lives. Maybe if she realized that she didn’t have to give them up too then she’d be happier. She would also realize that we don’t care about the affair. Obviously we feel bad that she hurt Dad, but we understand that mistakes happen and that she wasn’t in love with him anymore. Besides, you can’t change the past. What’s done is done. Even if I could change things, I wouldn’t because then we wouldn’t have Taylor and Cameron. On the negative side, what if that’s not what she wants, and we only make things worse? I sighed, thinking of the positives and the negatives and which route to take. One obviously outweighed the other.

I met Ella’s gaze. “I’m in.”

Chapter 22

Ella knocked on the door, gnawing on her bottom lip nervously as we waited for John to answer. We had mulled over the idea for a while yesterday, thinking of how we would make this work. We wanted to get him and Mom together for real, but how were we supposed to go about that? We had talked about it a lot last night, and had eventually just decided that the best thing to do was come and talk to John.

We had speculations that he still had feelings for our mother, so maybe he just needed a push to go and see her and confess those feelings to her. There was no doubt in my mind that she wanted to be in a relationship with him. She had been unhappy with my father, and turned to John for love, and now she was getting divorced and they could finally be together. I didn’t see what was holding them back.

Finally, we heard a voice on the other side of door saying that they were coming. Moments later, the door was pulled open to reveal John. He was in a suit and tie, and still had on a dressy pair of loafers. He looked between Ella and me and smiled. “Hi girls, what brings you two over here?” He opened the door wider and let us inside. “Sorry for the delay, I just got home from work.”

Ella and I entered the house, with her following behind me.

“Sorry,” I said hurriedly. “We should’ve called first.”

John looked down at us. “It’s fine. What’s up? Come to see the twins? Only Taylor is awake. Cammie sleeps like the dead.” He laughed lightly. It was cute how his face lit up noticeably at the thought of his children.

Ella glanced at me, giving me a look that basically told me to take the reins. I frowned at her. It was her idea.

John noticed our silent exchange, and asked, “Is something wrong?”

“No,” Ella piped up.

“Nothing’s wrong. We just came to speak to you. Seeing Taylor would be nice too, though.”

John furrowed his eyebrows. “Sure, what’s this about?”

I glanced down the hallway as I asked, “Mind if we sit?”

John’s expression remained the same. “Sure,” he answered, turning and leading us to the living room that was just off of the entrance hallway. I had only seen a glimpse of the living room the first time I had come in. Now Ella and I took a seat on one of the tan couches, and John sat on the other. He looked worried.

I clasped my hands together on my lap, sitting straight up. “I don’t really know how to start this, so I’m going to get straight to the point,” I began, making direct eye contact with John as I spoke. “Our mom has been really down in the dumps ever since she ended things with you.”

John sat forward, resting his elbows on his knees. He didn’t say anything though, just stared back, waiting for me to continue.

“She had an anxiety attack a few nights ago, and was placed in the hospital for a few days. During her attack she couldn’t breathe, and she fainted and hit her head. It was pretty bad, but she’s better now. She has stitches in her head that need to heal, but for the most part she’s fine.”

As I spoke, John’s expressions shifted from confusion, to shock and worry, to relief. His mouth had dropped open, and he seemed to be hanging onto every single one of my words.

“She isn’t happy,” Ella spoke up, causing John’s attention to shift to her. She looked down at her feet, pressing her lips together in a tight line.

I raised a hand and placed it on her shoulder for a few moments, trying to comfort her. I knew how much it hurt her to see Mom feeling so depressed. She just wanted to help her in some way, and we were both hoping this would work.

John scratched his head. I could see the sadness in his eyes at the mention of our mother. “Is there something I can do to help?”

Ella nodded her head instantly. “That’s why we wanted to talk to you. We want you to come and see her.”

John widened his eyes. Then he shook his head. “I don’t think that would be the best thing to do. That might only make her feel worse. I called her the other day, you know? She didn’t seem too excited to hear from me.”

“That’s because she didn’t know that we came to see you,” I verified, meeting his eyes.

Ella jumped in to defend Mom as well, saying, “She wanted to let you move on. She also didn’t want us bothering you and the twins.”

John shook his head again, unfazed by our comments. “I don’t think I can do it. Do you know how hard it was for me when she left?” He looked between the two of us, meeting our eyes. It was hard for us when Mom had left Virginia to come back to California, but that wasn’t what he meant. So I just stared back at him, waiting for him to continue. “She chose a loveless marriage over a happy life with me.”

“No, she chose not to ruin our lives because of an affair she had,” I corrected, not caring that my statement was harsh. It was true. He injected himself into my parents’ marriage and ruined any chance they may have had at mending their relationship.

Ella tossed me a sideways glare.

John frowned, but tilted his head down to hide it. “I don’t think I can do that to myself, or her, again. We were both so hurt last time, and I’m not sure I want to go through that pain again.”

Ella leaned forward and clasped her hands together in a praying motion. “Please just give her another chance. I really think that she would be so much happier if you were still in her life.”

John shook his head, but it seemed more like he was trying to clear his thoughts rather than say no. “In a perfect world, maybe we would be together.” He gave us a sad smile, then pushed himself to his feet. “I think you girls should go.”

He waited for us to stand, and then we followed him back to the front door. He pulled the door open, looking down at the ground as he said goodbye. Ella exited first, but before I stepped out of the door I looked hard at John, waiting for him to look up and meet my gaze.

When he finally did, I said, “In a perfect world, none of this would have happened. Our mom would be happy, and not still in love with the guy who ruined her marriage and tore our family apart.” Then I turned to walk out, not knowing if I had gone too far. I didn’t want to ruin my chances of seeing the twins again, but what I said needed to be said. He wasn’t the only victim of the affair, and he needed to stop thinking that he was.

I heard the door shut behind me, but I didn’t look back. I took a deep breath, forcing a smile at Ella, who stared at me with her green eyes as wide as saucers.

I felt slightly defeated, but I tried to push the feeling away. I read somewhere that smiling releases endorphins that help when you’re in a bad mood. I needed that help right now. I knew what else would help too.

I tossed my arm over Ella’s shoulder as we walked away from John Symmes’ house. “Let’s go get a milkshake. I’m paying.”