Scarlet Feather (53 page)

‘Anyway, it’s all calmed down now.’

‘Which is more than you have, apparently,’ Ricky smiled at him.

‘Not quite sure what you mean.’ Tom was too nonchalant, he knew exactly what Ricky meant.

‘Just, they all tell me you and Marcella haven’t been seen together since her show. I just happen to think it’s a pity, that’s all.’

Tom said, ‘Yes, well.’

‘And if I am in touch with her, Tom, do you want me to say anything to her?’

‘No thanks, Ricky, it’s all been said.’

Ricky left it. He shook his head because he had heard in three different weeping fits from Marcella that nothing had been said, nothing at all.

Cathy saw James Byrne carrying parcels in Rathgar and tooted the horn of the van.

‘Do you want a lift? Are you going home, James?’

‘Ah, how nice to see you, Cathy. Yes, I’d love a lift.’

When they got to the elegant house he turned to her. ‘Can I ask you something very personal?’ he began.

Oh, please God may it not be that he too had guessed she was pregnant. ‘Anything you like,’ she said wearily.

‘Will you just come in the door with me, just walk in and tell me what you see?’ he asked.

Cathy’s heart sank. All they needed now was for their sane, calm accountant to lose all his marbles and go mad. ‘And what do you think I
might
see, James?’ she asked fearfully.

‘I don’t know, Cathy, but you will be honest, won’t you. ‘I’ll do my very best, James,’ said poor Cathy, dragging herself out of the van.

Tom was expecting Cathy back at the premises, so he just buzzed the door without looking up.

Someone stood at the door.

It was odd, Cathy usually rushed in through their front room and into the kitchen. Hoping nothing was wrong, he came out to investigate.

Standing with her back to the light was Marcella. The cloud of dark hair surrounded her like a halo; her face was anxious and upset. She began to speak immediately.

‘It’s not fair to tell Ricky that we’ve talked it all out; we’ve done nothing of the sort.’

‘That didn’t take long to get back,’ he said.

‘Do you hate me, Tom?’

‘Of course not, of course I don’t hate you.’ His voice was gentle.

‘But what you said to Ricky…’

He felt terribly weary, suddenly. ‘No, Marcella, I didn’t tell Ricky that we’d talked it all out, I said that it had all been said, that’s quite different… I meant there was nothing more to say.’

‘But I wouldn’t have walked out on you without saying why.’

‘You know why.’

‘It was just a stupid party.’

‘Yes.’

‘You don’t want to know about it, it was just messing. I
told
you it would be like that. You don’t want to know about it.’

‘You’re right, I don’t want to know all about it, and why you didn’t come home that night.’

‘I told you, Tom, in advance that it was all meaningless. Unimportant.’

‘To you, Marcella, and I told you in advance that it was hugely important to me.’

‘But you
knew
there was a party, and that I had to go.’ She was weeping now. He stood there, his hands by his sides. I was so honest, I really was. You’re never going to meet anyone as honest as I am as long as you live.’

‘No, Marcella, you weren’t honest. People who are honest wouldn’t do that to each other.’

I told you the truth,’ she sobbed.

‘That’s not the same at all,’ said Tom.

‘I’ll go in first, put these things away and then come and open the door for you when you ring it,’ said James Byrne. Cathy sighed as she rang the bell. She made a mental note not to give anyone she knew a lift again for the next four years. James came to the door, and she entered the apartment where she had already given cookery lessons. ‘Look everywhere. What do you see?’ he asked.

‘James, for heaven’s sake, what am I meant to be looking for? Is this a game?’ Her voice was short with him.

‘What does it look like to you? Who would you think lives here?’ His eyes were clouded, waiting for the answer.

‘James, you’ll have to forgive me but I’ve had a long day. I
know
who lives here.
You
live here.’

‘No, I mean if you just came in the door… ?’

‘Like a burglar, do you mean?’

‘No, I mean like someone coming to dinner.’ He was crestfallen now, and very vulnerable. The cool James Byrne was so ashamed of himself and his raw, nervous state.

‘Oh, I see what you mean,’ Cathy recovered. ‘What you’re trying to do is to see what someone’s first impressions would be, is that it?’

‘Exactly.’

‘I’m sorry, I didn’t quite understand.’ She bought time looking around the dark, lifeless apartment with its lack of colour and spirit.

‘No, I didn’t explain properly,’ he apologised.

‘Listen, I don’t want to be too inquisitive, but in order for me to answer this question properly I’d have to know what kind of a guest it is.’

‘I beg your pardon?’

‘Well, like a businessman, or a lady you were inviting on a date, or a long-lost friend or something.’

‘Why did you say long-lost friend?’ he asked anxiously.

‘Because if it was a regular friend, then he or she would
know
what the flat looked like already.’ Cathy spoke as she would to Maud and Simon, very clearly but as if talking to an imbecile.

He thought about this for a while. ‘Long-lost friend is about the nearest,’ he said.

‘About your age, as it happens, that’s why—’

‘Man or woman?’

‘Well, a woman, as it happens.’

‘A few flowers. You can come and borrow some of our potted plants if you like. Some brightly coloured cushions… and take all those papers off the desk there, and get your music centre out from under all those folded magazines or cuttings or whatever.’

‘So what it needs is…’

‘Some sense of colour, of light, a feeling of hope, of somebody actually living here.’ She walked around the room as she spoke.

Then suddenly realised what she had just said. How she had been so destructive about the way he lived. Tears came to her eyes.

‘James, I’m so very sorry,’ she said, coming over and touching his arm.

‘No, please.’ He moved away. ‘I asked your opinion and I got it; what is there to apologise for?’ He spoke stiffly.

‘I have to apologise for that totally unnecessary harangue about your place, which is perfectly fine except that it needs a little more colour.’

‘Yes, quite.’

‘James, I’m so nervy and anxious that I have upset almost everyone I know these days.
Please
let me believe that I didn’t offer you a lift and then come in here and add you to the list.’ He lost his stiffness and relaxed his shoulders. ‘Would you trust me to make us some tea?’

‘I’d love that.’

Is it any one big problem, or a lot of middle-sized ones?’

‘It’s a lot of very big ones actually, James, but do you know the way that if you don’t admit them or acknowledge them they sort of go away… Well, not really go away, but you know

‘I know. They don’t really go away but they do stay outside the door, at any rate.’ He was sympathetic.

‘You’re very kind, James, a restful type of person to be with. I’m sure your dinner will be a big success.’

‘I hope so, I really do. So much depends on it, you see.’

And they drank their tea peacefully, neither asking the other any more questions.

Back at the premises she found Tom curiously quiet. ‘Anything more I should know about the wedding? Hit me with it if there is.’

‘No.’ He was far away.

‘Right,’ she said.

He didn’t answer. It was very unlike him to be so taciturn. He had a lot of papers on the worktop.

‘What are you working on?’ she asked.

‘This and that,’ he said.

Marcella must have been in. She would go on as if nothing was wrong.

‘I was talking to that priest who’s going to marry them. He said we must never lose faith in prayer, even in the darkest hour.’

‘Well let’s hope he
would
say that; not much point in being in his particular line of business if he can’t see a bit of light at the end of the tunnel.’

‘No, you don’t understand. He thinks
we
are the answer to his prayer.’ Cathy laughed.

‘Because we did up his mouldy old hall?’

‘Exactly, he has an asset on his hands now: the community will get new life, money will roll in for good things.’

‘Like statues, I suppose.’ Tom was scornful.

‘I think not… He talked about old folks’ outings, literacy classes.’

‘Sorry,’ Tom said.

‘No, I’m just cheering myself up by saying that at least you and I are very important to
some
people, anyway.’

He understood. ‘Yeah, let’s list them: the dopey priest who didn’t know he had a community hall until we showed it to him. That’s one.’

‘James Byrne is two. I had tea with him. The guest by the way is a woman my age, someone he hasn’t seen for a long time.’

‘Let’s see,’ said Tom. ‘Mad Minnie, because we scrape bits of casserole into her dishes for her.’

‘Nonsense, we give her gorgeous food and keep her marriage going, but you’re right, that’s three.’

‘June. We keep her from killing Jimmy. Four Tom said.

‘Con, or is that pushing it?’

‘No,’ Tom said, ‘we are important to Con. That’s five.’

‘We could easily get to a dozen if we talked about satisfied clients. We could even get out a bit of paper and write them down,’ Cathy said.

‘Or we could do what you want me to do and get back to work,’ he said with a laugh, and put the bits of paper away.

Cathy saw the words ‘Dear Marcella’ written on one of them. Things were very bad for poor Tom, much worse than they were for her. Without intending to, Cathy gave him a hug. She just came up behind him and threw her arms around his neck.

‘See, we
are
important to lots of people,’ she said.

To her surprise, he grasped her hands and held them to his chest.

‘God, I hope so, Cathy, I hope so,’ he said and his face moved around a little so that they were cheek to cheek.

Lizzie now had daily messages from Chicago about the upcoming visit and wedding. ‘They sound very nice people, Harry’s family. I hope they won’t be disappointed in us,’ she confided to her sister Geraldine. Apparently Marian had asked to see a video of the twins dancing. When she had asked for dancers she had really meant professional dancers, rather than children of Cathy’s in-laws. She wanted to be sure that they were up to standard. Geraldine and Lizzie looked at each other in disbelief.

‘Tell her they’re brilliant and the video is on its way,’ Geraldine said.

‘But will we have to get one?’

‘Certainly not, that’s just today’s worry. She’ll have forgotten it tomorrow.’

‘But suppose they’re not good enough?’

‘Lizzie, for God’s sake, if they’re like two blind elephants they’re going to dance, you know that and I know it, and anyway Marian will be so crazed with excitement on her wedding day she’ll think they’re marvellous, believe me.

‘

‘Cathy, you do realise you have taken on three weddings, not one, don’t you?’

‘It’s under control, Neil.’

‘It’s not. If it were under control you would not be filling the freezer at eleven o’clock at night.’

‘Only four more trays of these; I will rest when the wedding’s over, I promise.’

‘And the doctor, what does he say about it?’

‘He’s easy,’ Cathy said, not exactly truthfully, but she
had
to do her bit; the others were working flat out.

Neil shook his head. ‘Even Sara said you were doing too much in your condition.’

‘You told Sara?’ She was shocked.

‘Hon, I
had
to tell her. She wanted me to join up for a big conference in England next year, I had to explain why I couldn’t be a part of it.’

‘Yeah, sure.’

‘So she was concerned that you were working so hard.’

‘What did she say when you told her the news?’

‘She was very surprised, as it happens.’

‘Why was she so surprised? It is something that happens to couples.’

‘I know, Cathy, don’t snap at me.’

‘Sorry. It’s just that I have to keep walking round you.’

‘Oh, yes,’ he moved slightly.

‘Well she was surprised because I had told her a couple of weeks ago that we were never going to have children.’

‘You talk about a lot of intimate things with Sara, don’t you?’

‘Not really, only when things have to be told, and talking about that, really, don’t you think we should tell Mother and Father?’

‘No, not until after the wedding, it’s only a few days. Not until then, and… Neil could you ever stand somewhere that’s not directly in my path to the freezer, and if you do want to help, perhaps you could slide that in for me.’ She smiled at him brightly. ‘Thanks a million, this will speed us up no end,’ she said.

‘Drink that milk at your peril, Walter,’ Kenneth Mitchell warned. ‘Sergeant Sara could materialise at any moment to see if there’s enough calcium in their diet.’

‘Where are they?’ Walter asked.

‘Where do you think? Up with those people in that housing development, dancing like complete idiots for a crowd of halfwits.’

‘Neil is going to make a speech at that wedding,’ Walter said.

‘Nonsense,’ his father said.

I’m only telling you what they said.’

‘But what on earth would he be doing, visiting and speechifying with those Mutties and people like that?’

‘They
are
his in-laws, I suppose.’ Walter shrugged.

‘She’s a common, pushy girl that Cathy, not worth considering.’

‘You shouldn’t underestimate her, Father. Great mistake to underrate her because of her accent, believe me, I know.’

He did know. He had never believed that Cathy would go the distance that night when there had been the incident at the party. And he couldn’t believe that her business was still up and running after his visit.

‘Shona!’

‘Lord, you look a busy shopper, Cathy. What have you got in all those bags?’

‘You name it. Mainly material to make aprons; we’re going to have to wear aprons with shamrocks on them, apparently; I keep waking up at night and seeing a great page of a calendar saying August Nineteen, August Nineteen in red neon lights. Will it ever be over, Shona, will it ever, ever be over?’