Scarred Beautiful (22 page)

An audible sigh fills the air around me before I go back to obsessing about the evening ahead. Without a clue as to where we’re going, I dig in the closet to find something to wear. The decision is made for me once I spot the emerald green wrap dress, knowing the way it makes my eyes pop and how much Matt likes it when I look at him, or at least that’s what he said. “
Fran, open your eyes.
” The smooth, yet commanding tone of his voice went right through me and I shudder, even now. Plus, who am I kidding? I love looking into his eyes. Aside from the fact that they’re absolutely captivating, a smoldering blue I’m unable to turn away from, there’s a normal there and I don’t know if I’ve ever felt normal, but I desperately want to.

The clock reads 6:30 p.m. and after taking a few more glances in the hand-carved, full-length mirror, I shuffle to the bathroom to put on some makeup. I apply a couple sweeps of mascara and a hint of blush to pink my cheeks, but go heaviest on my lip gloss where it matters most. Perhaps I’ll get a kiss out of the deal.

Now for the verdict on the shoes. It’s a toss-up between the black or the green strappy sandals, and I opt for black. The green would be way too much and I don’t want to look like a leprechaun.

A ding signals an incoming text and I jump hurdles to get to it. It’s from Matt.

I’m coming for you.

The authoritative way he’s written that has my skin immediately covered in goose bumps. How can I get turned on from a text? Yes, my mind is seriously in the gutter. I can’t help myself. There’s something about the way he says things, an undercurrent of something sexual mixed with control. I know from what he’s told me that he has a need for control and I have to wonder if it extends to all areas of his life. I can only imagine it does.

I’m nearly jumping out of my skin and this feeling hasn’t left me all day. I’ve been fidgety and restless and now I’m biting my lip so hard I might just draw blood. I need to get a grip.

I text Peyton to let her know Matt and Caleb are on their way and she responds by telling me she’s running late and still primping. This boggles my mind because Peyton doesn’t need to do much of anything to look gorgeous. It comes naturally.

The glow illuminating the room from the city lights attracts my attention and I walk over to the window to admire the view, lost in the colorful haze until I hear the knock I’ve been waiting for all day. I take a couple of quick breaths and wring my hands out, releasing one final puff of air before I open the door.

Matt’s propped up against the doorframe, a lopsided smile alights his face. “Hey, you.”

“Hey,” I whisper, and I’m struck dumb because not only does he look incredibly handsome, but his smile warms my insides and all my previous tension has been washed away.

“You look stunning,” he says, as he artfully scans my body with appreciation, moving over the threshold of the door and standing close to me. “Did you think about me today?”

“Eh,” I respond, taking my thumb and forefinger and pinching them together while doing my best to fight back a smile. But I did think about him more than I’m willing to admit and the realization hits me hard. That’s why I’ve been so on edge even though I can’t tell him that.

“Well, I thought about
you
,” he says in a low voice, “a lot.” He toys with a strand of my hair before gently pushing it behind my ear, pausing to stroke my cheek with his fingers, my skin heats at the contact and I want more. His head dips down and he brushes his lips against mine, once, twice, and then slips past the seam of my mouth to caress my tongue and I sigh into him, loving the feel of his mouth on mine. He weaves his hands through my hair, holding me in place until his kiss becomes softer and he lets go of me completely. “I think we should go,” he says, his tone hoarse, and I can tell he’s trying to maintain his composure.

“Where are we going?” I ask, aware of his fingers that just linked with mine to lead me out the door.

“There’s a bar down on Sunset called The Grand that we thought we’d try out. It opened last year but since I don’t get out much, I haven’t been there.”

“Don’t get out much, huh?” I laugh, giving him a shoulder bump.

“Well, when my movie collection calls…it’s hard to resist,” he replies on a shrug.

I press the call button for the elevator and say a couple of silent prayers for a smooth ride. “It’s a good thing I’m here then, you need a little excitement in your life.”

“I’m starting to think it’s a
very
good thing,” he says, and my eyes dart to his, a gleam of sincerity radiating off of them, but then he smirks. “And, I did re-arrange my magazines today.”

“What?”

“Never mind.” He snickers at his own private joke and removes his hand from mine to shake off whatever it is, leaving me to wonder what he meant by that comment.

“So how did everything go with your project today?” I ask once we walk on the elevator, a clear attempt to distract myself from the ride down to the lobby.

“It went okay. We’ve still got quite a bit of work to do, but we’ll get it done.” Matt’s got a wicked grin on his face and I need to know what’s behind it.

“What’s the look for? Something you need to get off your chest?” I ask, pushing my hair over my shoulder.

“It was hard today. I was distracted,” he admits, suddenly unable to meet my eyes.

I cock a brow, placing a hand on my hip. “I bet,” I tease with a flirtatious smile, thankful he can’t see my gaze raking over his body.

“Let’s go, feisty,” he says, as the elevator doors open to the lobby and we spot Peyton and Caleb just beyond the entrance to the hotel.

“Hey, kids,” I utter once we get outside, interlocking arms with Caleb and Peyton as Matt waits on the valet. “Ready to party?”

“I’m always ready to party,” Caleb retorts, “and I heard this bar we’re going to is pretty hoppin’. It’ll be a bit of a change from Manhattan, but I think you’ll like it. LA is where it’s at, after all.”

“Ha!” Peyton returns his jab. “Dream on. New York City is where it’s at. You guys should know that.”

When the car comes into view, she leans over to whisper in my ear. “Sit in the back with me, okay.”

I nod and when Matt opens the door for me, I point to the back seat with my finger. “I’m going to sit in the back with Peyton. You know, girl time,” I add.

“Okay,” he responds, but drags a hand through his hair and presses his lips together tightly, in disappointment maybe?

He closes the door behind me and as soon as it shuts I turn to Peyton. “So what’s up? Are you okay?”

“Caleb turn up the music,” she says, before focusing her attention back on me. “So remember that guy Nick I dated, the son of my mom’s friend? Well, I guess he’s been looking for me. My mom called and said he came around for a visit and asked about me. You know how my mom just
adored
him,” she says sarcastically. “Lawyer, loaded, comes from a well-to-do family, none of which I’m interested in. I keep telling her I can make my own money. Do you know what she said to me?” Her nostrils flare and she fists her hands in her lap. “She said, ‘how much money do you expect to make as a graphic designer?’ To which I replied, ‘Design Manager, Mom.’ Ugh. She’s so annoying.”

“I’m sorry. I wish she paid more attention, Peyton. You deserve that. I do remember Nick though and you weren’t into him, anyway.” I sense eyes on me and peek up to see Matt glancing in the rearview mirror. I give him the Queen’s wave and he laughs. “So
who
are you into?” I poke her with my elbow and she smiles, gesturing a finger at Caleb under the radar.

“I want to be into
him
, tonight,” she whispers, “or maybe I want him to be balls deep into me.”

I throw my head back as I shake with laughter, the volume on the music suddenly lowering around us.

“What are you two cackling about?” Caleb asks, angling his head to get a better look at us, his eyes flicking back and forth between Peyton and me.

“Balls,” I reply, and we both hunch over practically spitting out a laugh.

“Well, that sounds like a conversation I can participate in,” he says in that cocky way of his and that makes Peyton and me lose it a bit more.

By the time we arrive at our destination I have a cramp in my side from laughing so hard. We climb out of the car and get in a line that’s practically wrapped around the block. There’s an eclectic group of people waiting, some dressed in jeans and t-shirts, others in what looks like couture fashion, and some even in leather. It makes for good people watching.

Caleb cuts in line and walks right up to the bouncer who stands about six-foot-four and is covered in tattoos, with bulging biceps and a shaved head. He’s built like a brick wall and seemingly not one to be reckoned with, although that doesn’t stop Caleb who slaps him on the shoulder. “Leon, what the hell are you doing here?” he greets, and I smile because I can’t help thinking only Caleb could get away with that.

“Caleb, my man, what’s up?” He lifts Caleb off the ground into a giant bear hug, nearly squeezing the life out of him.

“I thought you were working over at Tundra?” Caleb asks when his feet finally hit the ground again.

“Yeah, I was,” the baritone voice responds, “but I wasn’t happy with the management so I came here.”

“Cool. So can you do me a solid and get the four of us in?”

Leon nods at the door and opens the velvet rope so we can pass. “Enjoy.” He tips his head and gives us the once over as Peyton and I walk by. “Ladies.”

“Caleb, your connections never cease to amaze me,” Matt screeches over the roar of the music as we enter the bar.

It’s really dark in here with the exception of dim lighting, allowing me to make out silhouettes, glasses being raised in cheer, and round booths in crushed, red velvet upholstery along the walls. Various tables in crimson surround the dance floor. There’s a lot of red in here and I blink several times to shake off the color and the sharp pain piercing my stomach at the sight of it. Matt’s protective hand goes to my back and it steadies me.

Caleb says something I can’t make out and we continue to follow him past the dance floor and through a door leading into another space. It feels as though I’m no longer at the club. The area we entered has more of a lounge feel. A full fireplace takes up one wall and facing that are various booths and tables in, you guessed it, more red. My head is spinning and my fight or flight instinct is kicking in. I need to stay and fight this. That’s the only way I’m ever going to win.

Caleb snags us a booth against the wall and I slide in first with Matt right behind me. I rub my temple and force my eyes closed to alleviate the buildup of pressure until I feel Matt’s warm breath in my ear and it startles me.

“You okay, sunshine?”

“Yeah. I’m good, thanks, I’ve just got a bit of a headache,” I lie and feel horrible about it, but I’m trying to protest against my overwhelming desire to run.

“Do you want me to find you some Tylenol?” he asks sweetly, even though I’m not sure where the heck he’d find that here.

“No, thanks, really, I’m okay,” I reply, clutching at the table, but the moment his hand touches my back I begin to relax.

“Shots for everyone!” Caleb calls out, and he and Peyton head to the bar.

“So how was the conference today?” Matt asks, one arm draped around the booth while his other hand continues to sketch pictures on my back with his finger.

“It was pretty boring. Honestly, I think they could’ve condensed it into three days, I don’t think they needed four whole days for it. I can’t believe tomorrow’s the last day already. It went by fast.” My eyes lift from a spot on the table and I chance a glimpse at Matt.

He’s quiet for a minute, a pensive look scrolling across his features. “When do you go back to New York?”

“Next Friday. Remember I’m taking an extended vacation.”

His face brightens and his dimple appears. “Good. I can show you around LA some more.”

“On the motorcycle?” I ask, nudging him in the ribs and edging closer to him. I’m anxious to experience that freeing sensation again and be wrapped around him at the same time. It was seriously hot.

“Motorcycle? I thought you were terrified,” he muses, taking a drink of water, and my eyes are glued to his lips as they surround the glass. I need to feel them again.

“You helped me to overcome my fear,” I admit. “It was actually pretty exhilarating.”

“I’d like to help you overcome a lot of things,” he says huskily, leaning in to place a soft, wet kiss behind my ear, a shiver traveling down my neck. His nose skates up and down my skin and my breathing becomes ragged. “I love the way you smell, Fran. I could get drunk on you.”

“Matt,” is the only word I can manage because my throat feels dry and the only thought running through my head is to go somewhere so he can get drunk on me…right now.

His hand comes up to my chin, angling it slightly, his lips connecting with mine, and I have to quell the desire to pull him to me until we’re a tangle of tongues and lips. “Breathe, Fran. You’re not breathing.” He smirks against my mouth. “I know, I tend to have that effect on women.” My lips twist into a shameless grin as Matt tips his head back, his gentle blue eyes searching mine. “God, I love your smile,” he says, running his finger gently over the curve of my mouth.

My heartbeat kicks up a notch and our eyes remain pinned for what seems like an eternity. I’m floating on a cloud, suspended in a clear blue sky and I couldn’t look away if I tried. I don’t want to look away but the sound of Peyton’s voice brings me back down to earth.

“Okay, kiddies.” She winks at Matt. “Since tequila was out, we got some Kamikaze shots.”

“I’m driving, remember? So I won’t be drinking,” he tells her, and I like that he’s so responsible.

“Kamikazes, I haven’t done those since I was in college,” I say, remembering how Thursday was always the designated party night at Berkeley, making Friday morning classes impossible to navigate with a head clouded from drink and a body aching from too much dancing.

Caleb claps his hands together and rubs them. “Time to get back on the wagon, Fran!” He and Peyton bounce back into the booth and the three of us lift our shot glasses. “A toast,” Caleb announces, “to making new friends and getting rip-roaring drunk with them!”