Scarred Beauty (10 page)

“Brad? Are you home?” she called out.

No answer came.

“He must be out with Ben.”

“Who’s Ben?”

“A guy he’s in love with.” She closed the door
and pulled off her jacket and scarf. “I’ll make you some coffee before you go.”

He went with her to the kitchen. Isaac sat in
the only seat at the counter and watched her working the kettle. He found women
in kitchens a thing to avoid as it created an intimacy that most women
expected. Up until he met Elle he hadn’t wanted to share that kind of intimacy
with anyone. Watching her gave him a sense of calm he wasn’t used to. Was he
getting sentimental in his old age?

“Do you want cream or sugar?” she asked.

“Sugar, please, two.”

She handed him his cup of coffee. “Thank you for
seeing me upstairs.”

“It’s my pleasure. I wanted to make sure you got
home safely.” He took a sip of his drink and glanced around the apartment. He
could tell instantly that she had done most of the decorating. The rooms had a
feminine touch. Most of the paintings on the wall he guessed were drawn by her.
There was a sketch of Brad on the far wall. He saw the many conflicting
emotions from the drawing. “Did you draw that?” he asked.

He got up from his seat and walked to the
picture in question.

“Yes. That’s Brad. I drew that not long after we
moved in here. Brad was going through his withdrawal, and he wanted to remember
his battle and asked for me to draw him. I love that picture,” she said. He
gazed at her as she tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. The action
showed him the scar down her neck. Isaac wanted to reach between them to kiss
the delicate curve of her neck.

“Why do you love it?”

“Because it shows him how hard he fought to get
where he is today. You don’t know him. He thought he couldn’t fight his
addictions, and he did.”

“He sounds like an amazing guy.”

“Brad is. He’s the first person who wasn’t
repulsed by me.”

“You’re a beautiful woman, Elle. Many men would
see that if you gave them time.” Isaac meant every word. He saw her blush and
couldn’t help but smile at her innocence. “Can you show me more of your work?”
he asked.

She hesitated, her gaze going from him to
painting on the wall.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“It’s not that. Brad is the only person who has
been inside my studio. I want you to see it, but I guess I’m a little nervous.”
She looked so young and fragile. When they were in the hotel room he could
forget about their twenty year age gap. She was more mature for her age than
most women. “You’re staring at me.”

“I’m thinking about our differences in age.”

“Does it bother you being older than I?” she
asked.

“No, but seeing you like this makes me think
continuing our relationship is a bad idea. I’m old enough to be your dad.” His
thoughts with regards to her weren’t fatherly. In fact, he should be shot for
the way he was thinking about her.

“You’re not my father, and he’s a lot older than
you. Come on.” She grabbed his hand and led him across the room to one of the
doors. He watched as she took a breath before opening the door and flicking on
the light. “This is where I paint.”

There wasn’t much furniture. Several canvases in
different states of painting were placed round the room. Large windows
overlooked the city, and he guessed it was for the light. She pressed a switch
for blinds to cover the windows.

He knew why she did it and felt sorry for her.
On the easel she was working on he saw a portrait of her. The picture was of
one side of her face. The unmarked half. He wanted to get her to paint herself
one day. Thoughts ran riot around his head of what he wanted to experience with
her.
 

“Thank you for showing me where you work. I
think it’s time for me to go.” He followed her to the front door of the
apartment. “Stay here. I don’t want you to get cold.” Noelle nodded her head.
Isaac pressed his lips to her, kissing her before he left.

His lips tingled from the contact. Thoughts of
her would keep him occupied for the remainder of the night.

Chapter Eleven

Brad waited inside Ben’s office while the other
man finished the night shift. Brad knew he made Ben uncomfortable, and it
wasn’t his intention to make him feel anything but comfortable in his
presence.
 

The club closed early on week nights, around
twelve. Ben left to help round up the customers leaving him alone in the
office.

Brad allowed his mind to drift, and he wondered
how Noelle would cope with another winter being holed up in the apartment. She
looked happier most days, and he wondered who the person was she was seeing. It
couldn’t be Isaac as he promised he wouldn’t see her anymore. Ben came back in
about thirty minutes later. “Sorry about that.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ve invaded your working
environment. I’m thankful you’re talking to me.”

“Don’t take this the wrong way, Brad. I’m
talking to you, but that doesn’t mean anything has been rectified between us.”

“I’m happy you’re talking to me. That’s all that
matters. I can’t change what happened in the past. I can only show you the man
I am now.” He rubbed his sweaty palms down his jeans feeling the nerves gather
inside him. Ben could throw him out at any moment, and Brad didn’t want that to
happen. He loved Ben and had loved him for as long as he could remember. The
feelings inside him refused to go away no matter how many times he tried to
talk himself out of it.

It was times likes these where he wondered if
going back to the drink would be for the best. He wouldn’t bother Ben, and he
wouldn’t have to deal with the heartache he’d caused. No, he refused to take
the cowardly way out. Brad was the person who caused these problems, and he
would see to them.

****

Ben felt sorry for Brad. He wasn’t a nasty
person, and treating him like dirt had only made him more miserable. Brad
didn’t have the first clue of what he’d done to him. Ben saw the pain and
confusion on his face and wished he could be in the same frame of mind. Many of
his nights were spent in the throes of endless pain waiting for the sun to come
up. Ben suffered from insomnia, which made night-time the worst.

Even as part of him hated Brad, he found he
couldn’t be horrible to him. Brad clearly had no idea what he’d done. He wished
when he’d met him all that time ago he’d known Brad had been hyped up on drink
and drugs. He’d seemed so charming at the time. Ben blocked out the memory of
their awful time together. He got up from his seat and walked round the desk.

“I’m going to walk you home,” Ben said. Brad
followed behind him as he made his way out of the club. He locked the door and
placed the key in the inside of his leather jacket.

“Do you know where I live?”

“Yes. I don’t mind the walk.” He pulled the
collar of his jacket round his neck and walked side by side with Brad. Ben
still felt an attraction to the younger man even after what happened. He didn’t
know what to think of his body’s reaction to the man at his side. Part of him
wanted to be disgusted for feeling anything while the other just wanted to
forget everything.

Ben wondered if he was to tell him the truth
whether that would change Brad in any way.

“I like the club,” Brad said.

“It’s all I’ve got left in this world.”

“Are you ever going to tell me what I did to you
to cause so much hate?” Brad asked.

Ben stopped and looked at the other man. “I
don’t hate you. I just don’t think you’re ready for what you want me to tell
you.”

Chapter Twelve

During the day Noelle painted what she could.
Her funds were fast running out, and she refused to ask Brad for any help. She
knew he came from money, but she liked paying her way. Isaac called her
regularly to set up meetings for the night-time. She loved the moments with him
in the hotel room. They kissed and cuddled. At the moment it was more than
enough for her, the touching and tasting of each other. Her lips spent the
remainder of the night tingling from his touch. She loved it when he hadn’t
shaved and then kissed a path down her neck. She shivered with delight thinking
about having his lips on her body. The last time they’d met his hand had gone
to her breast, the touch fleeting as he pulled away. She wished he’d taken the
next step. She didn’t like the thought of asking him for more.

Brad spent a great deal of time out of the
apartment. Noelle hoped his time with Ben was helping him to deal with his
issues. She cared about him and wanted to see him happy. More calls from her
family came, which she ignored. It hurt to hear the sound of her father’s
voice. She ended up taking the voice mail off so she wouldn’t have to listen to
him. Loving her parents was hard at times.

Isaac dominated most of her thoughts, and she’d
begun to make sketches of him in her spare time. She wanted to be able to look
at him without him being in the room. Most of her energy was used to draw him
from her mind’s eye.

Nothing she created was like the real thing. He
made her feel normal and happy. She didn’t want the feeling to end.

Winter had finally taken its toll on the city.
Everyone was taking extra precautions when they left the house. Isaac had asked
if he could pick her up from her apartment. She told him no. Explaining stuff
like that to Brad wouldn’t help her cause. He worried too much.

They lay on the bed in the same hotel room.
Isaac was kissing her lips down to her neck making goose-bumps erupt all over
her flesh.

Sometimes they didn’t need to speak as they lay
together. Staring into his eyes was perfect for her. The emotions he created
within her scared her. She knew she was falling in love with him. The only
thing she didn’t know was if it was a true love or a hero worship love because
of him being the only man she’d been with, besides Brad, who hadn’t found her
completely ugly.

“I like spending time with you. The best part of
my day is meeting you here,” she said opening up to him. Their visits had
become daily as opposed to weekly. She enjoyed knowing he wanted to spend as
much time with her as she did with him.

“I love being with you, too.” He tucked her hair
behind her ear exposing the scars. “To me you’re the most beautiful woman in
the world.”

She bought her fingers to her face, but he
caught them before she touched the scarred part of her. He laid a kiss against
the line of her cheek. She felt his lips, and the urge to cry consumed her. She
kept the tears at bay, not wanting to spoil the moment.

“You don’t have to cover yourself from me. Never
feel that you have to do that,” he said next to her ear.

“Thank you. You’re the only person who’s made me
feel beautiful.” She wished she could take the words back. Her fears and
insecurities were the only things plaguing their time. She still bought up his
career choice. Noelle knew he didn’t like it and asked her to stop mentioning
it. He was with her because he wanted to be.

“Your beauty is much deeper than skin. I don’t
know why you think they’re so ugly. One side of your face shows the battle
you’ve had to survive,” he said. He was the only person she let touch her face.
His thumb ran down the line of her face, going down her neck and resting at her
collarbone where the mark came to an end. “You’re my scarred beauty.”

Tears fell from her eyes at his beautiful words.
She could live with her scars if Isaac thought her beautiful.

****

Isaac saw her home every night. He loved being
with her, touching her and kissing her. She responded to his touch with so much
wanton need. It had been some time since a woman had been honest in her
approach to him. Noelle was refreshing. He knew it would only be a matter of
time before he wanted more. Touching her and not taking pleasure was starting
to take its toll.

He woke every morning to a large hard-on. For
twenty minutes he would stand under a cold shower until he released his seed in
the stall. Without fail, he would watch the white spurts of his cum drain down
the sink. The need to be inside her was driving him crazy. His work was
affected by his constant obsession. Being in the middle of a meeting and
thinking about her spread open and ready for him made him call the meeting to a
close. Brad had phoned him to see if he was doing okay. He tried to ignore the
call for as long as possible. Lying to his brother no longer sat well with him,
especially when his father and mother were looking for any excuse to get in
touch with him.

Clark
kept trying to get him to share women. Beautiful blondes,
brunettes, red heads, each with thin bodies. Seeing the women on his friend’s
arm did little for him. His cock got hard for Noelle. Other women had lost
their appeal.

Every night he left her, he’d convinced himself
that it would be the last night. He wouldn’t see her again. The following day
he would find himself calling her number and arranging another night to meet
until he saw her every night. When he checked the bank account he’d set up for
her to transfer funds, he hated himself for the amount. With the rising numbers
he knew he would tell her truth about who he was and what he and Brad had done.
Then he would get into the hotel, see her smiling face, and know he could never
hurt her by revealing the sordid truth.