Authors: Kaitlyn Hoyt
First off, I want to thank everyone who downloaded and read BlackMoon Beginnings. The response was way stronger than I was expecting and I honestly can’t believe it. Thank you for giving this new writer a chance. I really appreciate and will try to make my books worthy of you all!
Secondly, I’d also like to thank my friends and family. You all believed in me even when I didn’t. You’ve spent hours reading and rereading my books and I’ll forever be grateful for all you have done for me. To Elizabeth, I’ll make sure to add some Dr. Who references into my future books!
This book is dedicated to my cousin,
May 10, 1993- August 17, 2012
We all miss you and love you.
Rest in peace and fly high with the butterflies!
My body is numb. I can’t feel anything. My thoughts are running a mile a minute. Everything is a mess. The pain in my stomach is gone. The only thing left is the hole in my heart. This isn’t how it was supposed to end. I imagined so many scenarios of how that night was going to end, but this was not it. She’s supposed to be here with us. She did something to change the vision. I know it. I wasn’t supposed to come out of that alive. It was supposed to be me, not her.
Claire’s gone. She left us. She’s not coming back and she knew that. In the hallway, she told me:
“You’ll all be alive.”
She didn’t say we. I should have caught on to that. I should have known. I should have kept a better eye on her. That conversation keeps running through my mind. She said I was the daughter that she never had. That’s why she was getting teary-eyed…because she knew that she was going to be leaving us soon.
“Ryanne?” I can hear Colton talking to me, but I can’t respond. I can’t talk to anyone right now. My mind won’t let me leave. There are too many thoughts running through it to form any coherent sentences aloud. I keep my eyes forward, focusing on the road through the front window of the car, ignoring everyone. We’re heading to our next location. Tom decided to stop using houses that he owns. He thinks it’ll be too easy to track us that way. He has a place in mind, but won’t tell us its exact location. It’s safer that way—safer if we don’t know.
The sky darkened when we got into the car. Thunder keeps rolling, and lightning randomly strikes around us. I try to pull the magic in and control it, but controlling the weather is a lot harder than pushing thoughts back, and I just don’t have the energy to do it.
Everyone else is distraught over her loss too, but I can’t get her out of my thoughts. I can’t stop thinking about everything. She was right there in the kitchen with us. I should have stayed and looked for her. I could have done something. Couldn’t I? I know that I could have, but what? I glance at Colton and David. They just lost their aunt, their guardian, and while they look sad, they don’t look as upset as I am. Why am I more upset than them?
I try to keep my eyes forward ignoring everyone’s penetrating gazes. They keep glancing back at me to make sure that I’m ok, but I’m not. I’m not going to be for a long time. No one could replace my mom. However, for the first time in a long time, I felt like I had a motherly figure in my life. One that didn’t want to be my best friend, but one that truly loved me like a mother should. One that would help me when I needed it and wanted to see me succeed. A motherly figure that would do anything to make sure I was fine—that I was moving on. Now, she’s gone. Claire is gone and it’s all my fault.
Death follows me like a stalker, constantly reminding me that no one around me is safe.
“Ryanne, please stop thinking like that.” Liam grabs my left hand with his right. Putting a hand on my chin, he forces me to look at him. “There’s nothing you could have done differently.”
Staring into his grey eyes, I see the worry. The worry for me. I feel the barrier I put up a couple of hours ago start to melt away when he looks at me like that. I don’t know how Liam does it, but he always knows what I’m thinking. Either he’s very perceptive or I’m just really predictable.
“She knew, Liam.” I can feel the tears brimming to the surface. “She knew. She told me,
all be alive. She didn’t say
all be alive. She didn’t include herself.” My lips start quivering. “She did something. It was supposed to be me that died. Not her. Me.” I start shaking my head. The movement causes the water to spill from my eyes and slide down my cheeks. Liam wraps his arm around my shoulder and pulls me closer to him. With my head tucked into his shoulder, I let the tears fall. I fist my hand into his shirt and sob. He rubs my back but doesn’t say anything.
There’s nothing to say.
After a while, no more tears come. I still feel like crying, but my body can’t anymore. I close my eyes but remain tucked into Liam’s side. All the tension in my muscles disappear and I slowly drift into sleep.
Tom, Bradgen, and David searched through the rubble of the home for Claire once the chaos from the explosion died down. There was nothing. Just charred wood and glass fragments. Pieces of furniture were haphazardly lying around, but Claire wasn’t in there. It was as if she just disappeared. Liam, Logan, Emma and I stayed with Ryanne. She passed out in Liam’s arms after she realized that Claire never made it out of the house. The cry she let out while looking at the house will never leave me. It keeps playing over and over in my mind—along with the sight of her small body lying limp in Liam’s arms. She’s been through too much recently. I don’t know how much more she can handle.
After the battle, everyone went their separate ways. Tom promised to keep in touch in case more help was necessary. A day will come when we will all mages to come back and band together. The Prophecy states that Ryanne will end this supernatural war. I can’t think of any other way to end a war than with a battle. When that day comes, we’ll need to contact them again.
We loaded into the car and headed on to our next location. Tom wouldn’t tell us where the house was. He decided that we aren’t going to go to any family properties anymore. It’s too dangerous. Ryanne needs all of our protection, and we’re going to take every precaution to make sure that she isn’t discovered so easily.
Sitting at an angle so I can see in the back, I keep my eyes on her. Between Liam and Emma, Ryanne stares straight ahead, refusing to talk with anyone.
“Ryanne?” Liam asks her. She doesn’t move. She hasn’t spoken a word to anyone since she woke up. We’ve all tried talking to her, but she just ignores us. She refuses to let anyone comfort her. It hurts me to see her like this. Liam glances up at me and shrugs his shoulders. Claire had taken a liking to Ryanne. We all have.
I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that Claire is dead. My guardian for the last ten years is gone. I can’t believe it. I knew that this was going to get tough, but every outcome I thought of had us all alive. Claire is supposed to be here in this car with us as we drive to the next house.
I can’t think about it. I have to focus on something else. I look out the window and watch as a bolt of lightning strikes the ground in the distance. Ryanne’s magic is causing this. Her emotions cause the weather to change. I look around the car. No one seems to know what to do. I meet Logan’s eyes. Like Liam, he just shrugs at me. Logan’s the only one that knows…knows that…ugh. I can’t think about that either.
None of us like to see her distraught. I want to yell at her and make her talk. She needs to get everything out. Bottling everything up isn’t good. Being angry and upset isn’t going to change anything. Claire’s not coming back.
Hopefully when we get to the next house, we can train. Training always helps me feel better when I’m angry or upset. Releasing pent up anger on someone is very cathartic.
I pull my attention from the weather when I hear her talk. I can’t hear what she is saying, but I can hear the sadness in her voice. It cuts through me like a knife. I turn around in my seat as she leans forward and curls into Liam’s side. She starts sobbing into his shoulder, and I can do nothing but watch her tears soak through the thin fabric of his shirt. He’s resting his chin on her head and rubbing her back, trying to comfort her. My stomach tightens as I watch them together. I understand that she feels comfortable around him, but I want to be the one comforting her. Not watching another man do it.
Hitting a bump in the road jolts me out of my sleep. I’m still tucked into Liam’s side, but my body feels too weak to move. Despite Logan healing me after being stabbed, I still don’t have enough energy to do much of anything. I keep my eyes closed and listen to the conversation going on around me. “She just needs time. Don’t pester her too much,” Liam says.
“There was nothing she could have done differently. She was stabbed, Liam,” Colton’s voice sounds in front of me. He pauses and during his silence, I can hear people shifting in their seats. “We all thought that Claire got out of the house. She wasn’t in the kitchen with us.”
“That doesn’t mean anything, Colton. You know her. She’s blaming herself. Dravin was there for
. What would you think? You know that she doesn’t care about what happens to her. She cares about every one of you more than she does herself.”
“Ok, we’re here. Someone wake up Ryanne and Emma,” Tom calls out from the driver’s seat of the car.
“Ryanne. Ryanne. Wake up. We’re here.” Liam starts lightly shaking my shoulder. I deeply inhale and push myself away from his shoulder, avoiding everyone else’s penetrating gazes. Liam is the only one who seems to understand—the only one trying to understand.
Everyone is out of the car except for the back row. “Can you help me? I still don’t feel strong enough,” I ask Liam when he moves to get out.
He nods and grabs my hand, slowly pulling me over to the door. Stepping out of the vehicle, he turns around and puts his arms out for me to hold onto. I grab his arm and take a tentative step out of the car. I sway when both feet are planted on the ground. Liam pulls me toward him and wraps an arm around my waist, steadying me. “Thank you.” I whisper to him before turning and looking at the house.
The house is a little smaller than the previous one. Surrounded by trees, the two-story brick house blends into its surroundings. The dark brown bricks contrast against the lighter beige shingles. Four wooden steps lead to a small porch, shading the front door. Large rectangular windows adorn the two floors with white frames. Medium-sized shrubs line the base of the home, running under the windows. It isn’t nearly as nice as the last cabin, but it is still nicer than what I’m used to.
Entering the house, the first floor looks similar to our previous places. A large living room is the first room I see. The room has deep red walls and dark wood flooring. A large flat screen television is mounted on the wall directly across from the couch. It’s the large sectioned couch that instantly attracts my attention. Liam must have noticed me staring at it because walks me over to it and helps me sit down. David and Emma go off to look at the rest of the house while Bragden helps Tom bring in our bags from the car.