Scoundrel Ever After (Secrets and Scandals) (16 page)

A life like Ethan’s.

A gentle click had him reaching for the knife in his boot, but he wasn’t wearing anything on his feet. He turned from the glass and instantly relaxed at the sight of Audrey creeping into his room.

He hurried to the door and closed it swiftly, leaning against the wood and peering at her, garbed in a dressing gown wrapped tightly about her middle. The gown barely reached her ankles, giving him the opportunity to appreciate her naked feet. Pity there wasn’t more of her to see.

She immediately fixed her gaze on his arm. “I came to see to your injuries.” She took his hand and dragged him to the fireplace where a fire burned brightly. The day had been warm, but the night had turned quite cold.

Ethan allowed himself—happily—to be managed by her. Perhaps his perfect day wasn’t over after all.

She looked at his knife wound and frowned. “There’s dried blood.”

“Hardly any. I’m fine.”

With a mild scowl, she went to the basin with its now-tepid water and dabbed a cloth into it. She returned to him and cleaned around the stitches as best she could. “Does that hurt?”

“No,” he lied. It actually hurt a little, but it was nothing compared to the pleasure elicited by her fingers stroking his skin.

“Where’s the poultice?”

“The drawer in that table next to the bed.”

She fetched the ointment and spread it on his wound. She drew a length of cotton from the pocket of her gown. “I brought you a new bandage.” She wrapped it around his arm and secured the ends. “There. No more rolling down hills.” She gave him a sincere, but captivating stare.

He held up his hands in surrender. “You win. Thank you for coming. I suppose you should go back to your room.”

Her eyes narrowed. “Not so fast. You owe me an explanation. You told me you didn’t have time to stay here, that you needed to be on your way. And then you go and tell Fox that we’re eloping to America. I’m not going to let you evade my questions. Not this time.”

She was so resolute, so adorably perturbed, he almost wanted to prolong her irritation. But even he wasn’t that cruel. “I had to tell Fox something.”

She edged backward from him. “You plan to leave, then?”

He frowned. He didn’t want her to go. “I must. At some point.”

“Why?”

He couldn’t give her all the answers she wanted. It was one thing to confess to killing Four-Finger Tom. That had been more than a decade ago. He wouldn’t tell her he was wanted for killing the Marquess of Wolverton, particularly because he hadn’t done it and he was afraid she wouldn’t believe him. She liked him. She looked at him in a way no other woman had ever looked at him, and dammit she was like sunlight to his blackened soul. She didn’t want anything from him, save his trust. Ironically—tragically—it was the one thing he just couldn’t give. “It’s complicated.”

“It doesn’t have to be,” she said softly, lowering her gaze to the carpet that cushioned their feet before the fireplace. When she raised her face once more, her eyes were so clear and blue-green, he thought he might be looking out at the sea. He’d seen it twice. Just last spring when he’d gone to Cornwall for a prizefight, and as a boy when his father had taken him to Brighton. That life was barely a memory, and yet after a day like today, it seemed within his grasp.

She straightened her spine and clenched her jaw. “Why did you take me with you?”

Because Gin Jimmy had sent men to take her. They thought she was important to him. And, dammit, if she hadn’t been then, she sure as hell was now. The best thing he could do for her, though, would be to leave her so that Gin Jimmy would think he’d tired of her. He never kept a woman long, so it made sense that Ethan would discard her at some point.

But what of Bow Street? It was one thing to start over in Wootton Bassett to avoid an irksome family as Lady Miranda had done, but something altogether different to escape charges of murder. Sooner or later, he was going to have to deal with that.

“I took you with me to protect you from those men who came to your house.” He watched her intently. “You remember what they said—that they’d come there for you.”

She suddenly looked very tense. “Who were they?”

“Men who work for my employer, Gin Jimmy. He’s a lord of crime, Audrey, a very bad man.”

“Why did they come for me?”

As always, he considered how much to reveal. In this case, he didn’t think it would harm her—or him—to know the truth. “They think you mean something to me. I suspect they saw me sneaking into your house when you gave me waltzing lessons.” Which meant they’d been following him for weeks. How long had Gin Jimmy suspected Ethan of turning against him? Or had he simply been keeping tabs on Ethan, who’d been sent into Society to keep an eye on the widow of one of Gin Jimmy’s “inside men,” an earl who, for a price, had identified opportunities for theft within the ton. That widow had ultimately been killed, a murder Ethan was also being charged with.

Audrey’s eyes rounded briefly before she turned to look at the fire. “I see. But you think I’m safe here, so you can continue on and I’ll stay? That’s what you planned isn’t it?”

There was no point lying to her. She deserved the truth—at least as much as it pertained to her. “Yes, I think you’ll be safe this far away from London. I planned to ask you to cry off. Then I’ll leave.”

She threw him a sad smile. “That’s magnanimous of you. However, it won’t spare my reputation.”

He couldn’t keep himself from edging closer to her. “You knew your reputation would be damaged the minute you stepped outside your window.”

“I did. And I’d do it again.” She turned to face him, just a mere foot or so away. He could reach out and touch her, but he didn’t dare. She deserved so much more than he could give.

“Ethan.” Her eyes turned soft. “I would do it again. I don’t want to go back to London—even if I could and it sounds as if it’s not safe for me there, at least not yet and maybe not ever? I don’t really understand how this is supposed to work. But you said you could protect me, so,” she took a deep breath, “take me with you.”

His heart hammered, sending reverberations of want and need through his body until they settled in his groin. Women had begged him for all manner of things: favors, his attention, money. Never had they asked for his company in so earnest a fashion, as if their very peace depended upon it. Still, he couldn’t allow her into the darkness that was his existence. Not now, and, to echo her words, maybe not ever.

“I can’t.”

“Why not? You said I’m safer with you. Keep me safe. Let me do the same for you. I don’t think anyone has cared for you. I do. I will.”

The room swayed a moment and his knees felt as though they might give way. He could scarcely bear what she was offering, and yet his soul hungered for it like nothing before.

She stepped before him and cradled his cheek. “Don’t turn me away. I want to come with you—of my own accord. There is nothing for me anywhere. I’ve never felt as alive as I do with you. Together, we can figure out whatever we need to figure out. Or,” she smiled crookedly, “we can actually go to America and be whoever the hell we want.”

She’d cursed. For him.

Ethan crushed his mouth over hers in a blistering kiss. He didn’t want to coax or invite her, he wanted to own her, to tame her, to bring her completely under his control. When he decided he wanted something, he conquered it fully, and he wanted Audrey.

He thrust his hands into her hair, knowing it would tumble from its pins with the barest of effort. He wasn’t disappointed. With a gentle movement of his fingers, her curls cascaded over his hands and down her back. Violets and honey filled his senses.

He plundered her mouth with his tongue, pleased when she met him thrust for thrust. Her hands clutched at his neck as she pressed herself into him. She was taller than any other woman he’d held, which meant she fit against him in ways no other woman had. His cock burned against her hip. He adjusted her, pulling her so that he was between her thighs. He drifted one hand down her back and splayed his hand across her backside, drawing her tightly to him.

She moaned softly. Ethan continued to devour her mouth as he brought his hand around to the front of her dressing gown. He slid his hand beneath the fabric, wondering if—hoping that—she was naked beneath it. But she wasn’t. Her chemise prevented him from connecting with her bare flesh. It was just the interruption he needed for sanity to gain a foothold in his brain.

He pulled away abruptly and stepped back. “Audrey,” he croaked. “You should return to your chamber.”

“I don’t want to.” She untied her dressing gown, but stopped short of slipping it from her shoulders. She was trying very hard to be seductive and brave, but he saw the underlying tremor of apprehension.

Christ, she was a virgin. Ethan didn’t
do
virgins. Not since he’d been one, anyway. That had been an awkward affair when he was fifteen. From then on, he’d sought out more experienced partners. Yet, he felt certain none of them would hold a candle to Audrey.

“Audrey, you must. Your reputation might be tainted, but I will not be responsible for actually ruining you.”

“What if I told you I was already ruined?”

He thought of the blacksmith’s son and her aborted escape to America. Her behavior with him over the past several days did not indicate a woman who was comfortable with a man on an intimate level. “I wouldn’t believe you.”

Even as he said it, he was less sure. Had something happened with the blacksmith’s son? He suddenly wanted to get on a goddamned ship and find the prick on the other side of the world.

Her frame relaxed slightly, and so did his. “I can tell you want me. Why can’t I stay?”

He couldn’t keep from laughing, loving her honesty. How strange and pleasant the world would be if people were as genuine as her.

“It’s best for everyone.” He reached out and tied her robe closed, his hands lightly shaking as they grazed her hip. He wanted so desperately to tear every strip of fabric from her body and worship her in the golden glow of the fire. “You deserve a better life than running with me.”

She splayed her hand against his chest, and his will faltered. “You don’t have to run.” She was killing him.

He kissed her again, more gently this time, but still with all the need he’d suppressed for as long as he could remember. Forever, probably. He could relent. Relinquish the control he relied upon to keep himself apart, safe, alone. It was why he didn’t trust anyone to get close. They’d all left him or hurt him or both. If there was one thing he’d learned it was that nothing was permanent. Nothing. At least not for him.

He tore his mouth from hers. He put his hands on her shoulders and pushed away from her, backing up several steps before he could change his mind. “Go. Please.”

“I won’t cry off.” She elevated her chin and gave him a challenging stare. “You’ll have to be the one to do it.” She knew he didn’t want to, was trying to call his bluff. She turned and left, her curls taunting him as she went.

He stared at the closed door for a long time. It was unfortunate she didn’t realize that no one forced him to do anything. Why then, was he considering it?

A
UDREY HAD A
maid wake her early the next morning. She didn’t want Ethan dashing off before she rose. When she arrived downstairs, however, she learned he’d accompanied Fox to the orphanage to help him with some repairs. Worried he might try to leave her at Bassett Manor, she hurried to join them.

During the short ride to Stipple’s End, she relived Ethan’s kisses. And his rejection. She’d been disappointed that he’d turned her away, but she also knew how painful it had been for him to do so. She smiled, hoping she’d started to convince him they could be better together than apart.

Upon arriving at the orphanage, she was relieved to find him and Fox working on a section of fence. Around a sheep pasture. She smiled at the irony, given where they’d slept two nights ago.

The remainder of the morning passed in a blur as Audrey assisted Mrs. Gates with various duties around Stipple’s End. It was nearly luncheon when Mrs. Gates asked her to oversee the children in setting the table. When Audrey was finished, she made her way to the kitchen to see if she could help serve the food.

Audrey halted just outside the door at the sound of Rob Knott’s voice. “The man said he was from Bow Street, that he was looking for a man called Jagger or Locke.”

“Bow Street?” Fox said, his tone rising with surprise.

Bow Street was here?
Audrey couldn’t breathe. She didn’t want to alert anyone to her presence, but more importantly, she just couldn’t seem to draw air into her lungs.

“Unfortunately, Stratham overheard the man and offered that he’d met Locke at Bassett Manor, that he’s your guest.”

Fox swore. “Pardon me, Mrs. Gates. Stratham’s a menace.”

“Did you know Bow Street was looking for Locke?” Rob asked.

“No, I didn’t.” Fox sounded dismayed. “I’ll go and speak with him. Rob, is the Runner on his way?”

“I don’t know,” Rob said. “As soon as I realized Bow Street was looking for him, I came straight here.”

It was all Audrey needed to hear. She tore out of the building and stopped short. Miranda and three girls were just dismounting from their horses in the stable yard. Audrey could scarcely believe her good luck. She hurried over.