Sea Breeze (9 page)

I get out first and wrap myself up in one of Eric’s towels, giving him time to wash his body and hair. Climbing under his blankets, I snuggle in and wait for him to join me. He comes out of the bathroom, a towel around his waist. He rubs a smaller hand towel over his head a few times and throws it in the chair in the corner of the room. He’s so beautiful. This wasn’t supposed to happen.

“Scoot over.” A snort escapes me. There’s nowhere to move, as he has the smallest bed known to man. I sit up, my back against the wall, giving him at least some place to sit down. He lifts the blankets, towel still firmly in place, and lies down on his side. “Come here.” He pulls on my leg, turning me, and I slide down next to him. He spoons me and kisses the back of my wet head as I stare at the chipped paint of his bedroom wall. “Is there someone waiting for you back in Vegas?”

I stiffen and my breath hitches. He squeezes me tightly against his chest, and places a delicate kiss against my neck. My throat thickens. “No. There’s no one. I… I don’t have anyone.” This time, Eric tenses next to me.

“Did you just come out of a long relationship? Was it a bad breakup?”

Another snort escapes before I can stop it. “Yeah, you could say that.”

Eric huffs against the back of my head. “Did you love him?”

Turning, I smile softly at his pained expression. “Yes. I loved her.” His eyebrows furrow in confusion.

“I’m sorry, I don’t understand. Are you —”

“No. Um... my mother died recently. Well, about three months ago.”

Eric pushes some of my wet hair behind my ear. “I’m so sorry. She must have been very young. What happened?”

“She was only fifty.” I don’t want to dump on Eric, but my emotions are bubbling at the surface. I’ve kept them to myself for so long, I’m about ready to crack. I swallow the lump in my throat. “I feel so guilty.”

“Why? It’s not your fault.”

“Because I was relieved.”

He takes a moment to let that sink in. He’s a smart guy. I know he doesn’t think I killed her. Or at least, I don’t think he does. “She didn’t... abuse you, did she?”

“What? No.” He releases a relieved breath. “She was an alcoholic from the time I was about eleven years old, or that’s when I realized it, anyway.”

“So you took care of her. What about your dad?”

“Never met him, never want to. She never got over him. She couldn’t move on with her life, so she slowly killed herself. Liver failure.”

“A kid needs a parent. It sounds like you ended up being the parent.”

“Yes. Which, when you get used to it, is not so bad. I made my own meals, made sure I got to school and all that. Got a job as soon as I was old enough to get a work permit. The hard part was the worry. Worrying she’d fall and break her neck. Worrying she’d leave her cigarette burning and catch the apartment on fire. Worrying she’d choke on her puke in her sleep.”

“Jesus.” Eric pulls me into his arms and holds me tightly against his chest.

His heart beats a steady rhythm against my ear. “Pretty ironic I became a bartender, huh. But it’s good money, especially in Vegas, and I had two people to support.”

“You loved her though.”

Tears track down my cheeks. “Of course I did. She was my mom. I hated her for killing herself. For not being able to get over it. For not fighting for me. For giving up. But I loved her too.”

“I’m sure she loved you in her own way.”

My voice cracks. “I know she did. She was smart. She could have been so much more. In any case, I couldn’t leave her. Ever. She couldn’t take care of herself. It was dangerous. When I was at work, I was always waiting for that phone call. I’ve never been able to leave Vegas before.” I lift my head from his chest to look into his eyes. “This trip has been an eye opener. There are so many places in this world. So many things to see. I never dreamed I’d be able to see any of them. I—”

“You feel free?”

I nod and Eric plays with the ends of my wet hair. “Of course you do, and there’s no reason to feel guilty about it. You loved your mother, but now that she’s gone, you’re free to live life on your terms. Jordan, you can do anything. Be anything. You don’t have to go back. Instead, go forward. See the world. Live.”

My lips curve upwards as I take in his animated expression. “Is that what you’re doing?”

He gently wipes away my tears. “Yes. I have a business degree. Great. That doesn’t mean I have to sit behind a desk in a cubicle for the rest of my life. Like you said, there are so many places in the world. I want to explore them. So I schlep a few drinks for money. It affords me the chance to do what I love most. Travel.”

“You do lead somewhat of a dream life. You know that? You’re lucky.”

“No. I don’t believe in luck. We make our own luck.” His expression turns serious again and I don’t like it. I want playful Eric from a second ago. I’ve had enough of the heavy stuff for today.

“Feeling lucky now?” I ask, teasing him. I slip my towel off my body under the covers, and then untuck his from his waist. Heat radiates off his skin as I lie on top of him, bracing my hands next to his head.

He threads his fingers through my wet hair to keep it out of my face. “Very.” He pulls me down and kisses me as I reach into his bedside table, searching for a little foil packet.

Breaking the kiss, I hold the little square triumphantly above my head. “Aha. You’re in luck.”

He swipes it from my hand and places it on top of the table. With a quick ninja-like—or maybe well practiced—motion, he flips us so I now lie on my back as he hovers above me. “Not so fast.” He trails kisses down my stomach. It can’t get any better than this. Oh, wait. Yes it can.

Chapter Thirteen

I
wake up alone in Eric’s bed. I think he must have left quite some time ago because the last time I looked at his alarm clock, it was 7 a.m. and he was still with me. It’s now noon. Hmmm, I guess finally having the bed to myself I was able to sleep late. I stretch and then turn over and go back to sleep for another hour.

When I wake again, Eric sits on the edge of the bed holding a Starbucks coffee cup out to me. “Good morning.” I take a sip before my morning breath knocks him over.

“Good afternoon. Sorry to wake you, but I wanted to let you know that I’ll be at The Surf bar by the pool and then I have to work at The Vine tonight.”

“Oh.” Is he getting rid of me? Geez, I thought he was different. I guess I thought—

“Here’s a copy of my room key. Stay all day if you like, but I wouldn’t mind if you kept me company at the pool today, so I can watch you in that bikini of yours. Unless you have other plans.”

“Oh.” A smile returns to my face.
Stop being paranoid.
“Yes. I’ll see you by the pool. What time do you have to be at The Vine?”

“Five. I’ll finish at the Surf Bar at four-thirty, come back here to change quickly, and then head over to The Vine. I’m taking a quick break right now to catch you up.”

“Okay. I’ll come to the pool in a bit. Let me get dressed and I’ll see you there.”

Eric stands, smiles, and swaggers to the door, purposely shaking his ass at me. I throw a pillow and he escapes out the door.
How am I going to get off this ship in two days?

At the pool, I lay my towel over the deck chair, positioning it so the bar is in direct view. It’s pretty warm out. I stroll over to the pool, making sure to shake my ass in Eric’s direction when he’s looking, eliciting a whistle from him in the process. The water is refreshing. Not cold, but not warm either. I stay in long enough to stretch my muscles, and then return to my towel for some sun and relaxation. I pull a book out of my bag that I brought with me, and settle in for a little quiet reading time.

By the time I get one third of the way through
Sweet Dreams
, I’m so invested in finding out whether or not the main characters, Jake and Jenna, are ever going to get together that I don’t notice Eric standing next to me until he blocks the sun. “Hey. I’m going to head back to my room to get changed. I brought you a Sea Breeze. I’ll be at The Vine. See you there later?”

I take the drink from his hand and place it on the table next to me. “Yes. I’ll see you there later. Thanks.” I watch him walk away, open my book, and keep reading until the sun dips below the horizon.

On my way back to Eric’s room, I stop and grab a slice of pizza and a diet cola. Slipping under the blankets of his bed, I open my book and dive back in. I think they’re finally going to get together and I can’t stop reading now.

When I finish the book, I can’t stop smiling. I love a good happily ever after. It’s 7 p.m. and I should get ready. But getting ready means taking a shower and doing my hair, and I’m not up to it. I send Eric a text that I’m going to stay in tonight and will see him when he gets off.

At some point I fall asleep, and I stir when Eric tries to get in bed beside me. Without opening my eyes, I grumble in his direction. “You have the smallest bed known to man.”

“Ha-ha. I know. Sorry, babe. Can you scoot over a little bit? Please.” I turn on my side and Eric pushes his arm under my head, pulling me onto his chest. “Thank you.” He presses a kiss to my temple, and as I nod off I think he says, “Don’t go.”

I wake up early the next morning, Eric’s massive body crushing me. I’m able to scoot out this time, and make my way to the bathroom. When I’ve brushed my teeth, I find him spread-eagled on the bed. His body must miss having the whole bed to himself. There’s no way I can get back in without waking him up.

I get dressed instead and head upstairs for coffee. The sun is rising as I walk around the jogging deck. A few die-hard runners are on the track. Lord knows I have never understood those people, but otherwise it’s extremely peaceful. Breathing in the crisp air, I stand next to the railing, sipping my coffee and watching the sun rise over the Caribbean. I wish my mom could have seen this.

We’re at sea all day today, and tomorrow we’ll be in Florida. The thought of going back to Vegas is soul-crushing. I have my passport now, obtained for this trip. I have money saved. I could go anywhere. I want to go everywhere. It’s scary. Thrilling.
Eric.

As I finish my coffee and start walking back toward his room, I ponder our situation. I didn’t anticipate him. I thought I was coming on this trip to figure out what to do with my life. Yet I’m nowhere closer to an answer than when I stepped on the ship, except I know I don’t want to go back. I can’t. He, is something else. Are we supposed to say goodbye? Should I expect anything more than that? Do I have a right to? I’ve bared my soul, but there’s so much I don’t know about him. I wish we had more time. He had to work two shifts again yesterday.

When I get back to his room, I tap Eric on the shoulder. “Hey, Eric. Wake up. I need to ask you something.”

“Hmm, what? What are you doing? You’re dressed? What time is it?”

“It’s early. Um, is the ship understaffed in the bartender department? I ask because it seems like you have to cover a lot of shifts and I was wondering.”

Eric rubs the sleep from his eyes and sits up in bed. “Are you asking what I think you’re asking?”

“I don’t know. What do you think I’m asking?”

He’s fully awake now, eyes wide open and gaze piercing mine. “Do you want to stay?”

“I don’t want to go back.”

“Don’t. Stay. Stay with me.”

“Eric, I think you have the right idea, what you’re doing with your life. I don’t have the faintest clue what I want to do with mine, but traveling like this is the closest thing to heaven I can imagine. We’ve only known each other ten days. A lot has happened, yes, but I still need to figure out who I am and what I want.”

“I want you, Jordan. Stay with me. Let’s see the world. Together.”

“If I stay, we need to talk about what this is between us. What we want.”

“I know what I want. I know what this is.” The way he says it makes me think he’s about to tell me he’s in love with me. That has to be the scariest feeling ever. So much to gain and so much to lose. But I can also see how easy it would be to let myself fall in love with Eric.

“The reality is, this is all happening really fast. If they hire me, I’ll need my own room. I need space to figure out who I am.”

“Promise me you’ll invite me into your space once in a while?”