Sea Glass Island (7 page)

“Good idea, though I told her I was going to try to convince you to come along this afternoon.”

After Cass made the call, Ethan waited until they were halfway to the clinic before asking casually, “So, anything new in your life these days?”

“I go to school. I go home. It’s not exactly material for a TV show.”

“No after-school activities that interest you?” he prodded, knowing that at one time she’d been active in the drama club. She’d been cast in every play at the middle school and starred in one her first year at the high school. All, though, he realized now, had been before the accident.

“None,” she said flatly.

Ethan glanced over and caught the tear that had leaked out, aware then that he’d hit on something. “I thought you were going to try out for the school play.”

She whirled on him. “Do not mention that stupid play to me, okay? I didn’t get the lead. I didn’t even get a walk-on. I heard Mrs. Gentry tell another teacher it was a real shame to waste my talent, but she thought my prosthesis would be a distraction. She sounded all sad and sympathetic, but it was fake. I think she was glad to be able to give that twit Sue Ellen the lead. Like Sue Ellen will be able to remember her lines,” she scoffed. “She’s so busy batting her eyes at every guy in school, she can barely remember her own name.”

Ethan felt a swell of fury on Cass’s behalf. It was one thing for kids to be inadvertently cruel to each other, but teachers should have more sensitivity. “Sounds to me as if Mrs. Gentry needs to be replaced.”

“Like that’s ever going to happen,” Cass said. “She’s, like, some kind of institution at the school. Her recommendations carry a lot of weight in the drama departments at some colleges, too. I guess I can’t count on that anymore.”

Ethan frowned at the defeat in her voice. “You don’t want to act? Come on, Cass. I thought that was your passion. And I saw you a couple of years ago. You were great!”

“What’s the point?” she asked with a careless shrug she couldn’t quite pull off. “Nobody’s going to hire me.”

He regarded her with surprise. “Boy, that doesn’t sound like you. I thought you were a fighter.”

“I am,” she said angrily, “but I know when to quit. Could we drop this, please? I’m going on your stupid hike. One victory for the day ought to be enough, even for a guy who hates losing the way you do.”

With that, she climbed out of his car and went to join the other kids who were waiting to be taken to a nearby park with trails that were manageable for everyone, at least with a little assistance. She leaned down and whispered something to Trevor that had the ten-year-old grinning. For all Ethan knew, they were planning a quick getaway.

Ethan sighed as he watched her. One of the things he was still struggling to accept was that physical triumphs were sometimes a whole lot easier in the long run than emotional ones, especially with people like Mrs. Gentry feeding into doubts and insecurities. The woman might be an institution, but he thought it was time for a bit of a shake-up at the school.

* * *

Even though Emily and Boone kept their voices low, it was evident to Samantha that they were having an argument. Since they kept glancing her way, she assumed she was at the center of it. That drew her across the yard to where Boone was grilling steaks for dinner for the family.

“Hush,” Emily whispered urgently as Samantha approached.

Unfortunately for her the warning came too late. Samantha heard Boone trying, apparently without success, to convince Emily that Ethan truly hadn’t been available to join them.

Samantha gave her sister a resigned look. “It didn’t take long for you to forget all about our conversation this morning, did it?” she asked mildly.

Boone gave her a sympathetic look. “My bride-to-be is on a mission.”

“A pointless one,” Samantha said. “I thought I’d made that clear.”

“I’m not so sure it’s pointless,” Boone said, surprising them both.

Emily’s eyes lit up. “Really? You think Ethan’s interested?”

“I think he genuinely doesn’t realize that he is,” Boone said. “It’s been a long time since he allowed himself to take a chance on a woman. It’s not a habit that’s easily broken, especially for a man as strong-willed as he is. He’s focused all of his energy on getting himself as fit as possible, getting the clinic up and running and on those kids of his.”

Samantha blinked at that. “Ethan has kids? Was he married at some point?” She frowned at her sister. “Don’t you think you should have mentioned that?”

“They aren’t
his
kids,” Emily said quickly. “They’re kids with special needs. Some can’t walk. Some have lost a limb. He’s made it his mission to prove to them they can live a normal life. What’s he call it, Boone? Project Pride?”

Boone nodded.

“I think what he’s doing is wonderful,” Emily added in case Samantha needed to have that pointed out.

Which she didn’t, Samantha thought ruefully. In fact, it made Ethan that much more appealing. The plus column in the man’s favor was literally crowded with checkmarks. The only minus, however, was huge. He wasn’t interested. Or even if he was, as Boone thought, he was going to fight it. Wasn’t that the same thing in the long run?

Emily’s expression turned thoughtful. “You know, Samantha, I’ll bet some of the girls in his group could use a woman’s influence,” she suggested slyly. “Remember when we used to play beauty shop? You were the one who taught Gabi and me how to put on makeup and how to fix our hair. That could go a long way to helping with their self-image, don’t you think so, Boone?”

Boone held up his hands. “Out of my ballpark,” he said. “You need to run that one by Ethan.”

“I think I will,” Emily said, nabbing Boone’s cell phone from his pocket and scrolling down until she found Ethan’s number.

“Not now,” Samantha instructed firmly, managing to wrestle the phone away from her, just as she heard Ethan answer. She sighed, then spoke to him.

“Sorry, Ethan. Emily misdialed.”

“Samantha?” he asked. “What are you doing with Boone’s phone, or do I even need to ask?”

She stepped away from her sister. “You do not need to ask. The plotting and scheming are still going on. You were wise to skip this little get-together.”

“I didn’t do it to avoid you,” he said, surprising her by addressing her unspoken fear directly.

“Is that so?” she said skeptically.

“Honest,” he said. “Though after I ran out on you this morning, I can see how you might think that.”

She settled into an Adirondack chair away from the rest of the family. “Why did you leave?” she asked.

“I can’t explain it.”

“Can’t or don’t want to?” she found herself teasing, thinking of Boone’s theory. “Did you have a panic attack, Ethan?”

To her surprise, Ethan laughed. “I don’t think I’ll answer that,” he said.

“Because?” she said, not sure why she thought it was so important to push him. If Boone was right, maybe she could encourage him to take another look at the possibilities for the two of them.

“You’re not going to let this drop, are you?” he asked, his frustration evident.

“I’m thinking that would be a bad idea. So?”

“I found myself a little too eager to haul you into the closest bedroom,” he said with unexpected candor.

Samantha smiled at the revelation, glad he couldn’t see her face.

“Are you laughing?” he asked. “Because I wouldn’t blame you if you were. Here I am, a decorated war vet, and I’m admitting that you scare me to death.”

“I like you all the more for being honest,” she said quietly. “That takes courage, especially when there are a lot of people who might seize on that little tidbit and run with it.”

“Which means it might be best if you kept it to yourself.”

“I can do that,” she promised, thinking it was something she could dream about tonight. “But if I’m not the reason you stayed away from dinner, what is?”

“I have a commitment on Thursday afternoons. There’s a group of kids I work with.”

“I just heard about that,” she acknowledged. “It’s a really nice thing you’re doing for them.”

“There are days I wonder if I’m making any inroads at all,” he said. “Today was one of those. I have this one girl, she’s as stubborn as anyone I’ve ever met, and she’s determined to fight me every step of the way.”

“Which makes you want to try all the harder,” Samantha guessed.

“Something like that. Today she told me about something a teacher had said, something that really crushed her. I’ve been trying to get in touch with the teacher this evening, but so far I haven’t had any luck.”

“Then put it off till morning and come on over. The steaks are about to come off the grill. There’s plenty of food. I’d like to hear more about these kids of yours.”

“Why?” he asked.

She frowned at the skepticism she heard in his voice. “Why wouldn’t I? They obviously matter to you, and what you’re trying to do for them is important.”

“You don’t even know them.”

“That doesn’t mean I can’t care about what you’re doing.” She thought of the initial impression he’d obviously had of her. “Or do you think I’m too shallow to give a thought to anybody else?”

“I never said that,” Ethan said, sounding annoyed.

“It’s not the first time, though, that you’ve suggested you thought I’d be vain and self-involved. I thought we’d put that notion behind us, but I guess we haven’t.” She couldn’t seem to help the hurt that had crept into her voice.

“Samantha—”

She cut him off. “Come over. Don’t come over. It’s up to you.”

She disconnected the call, then tossed the phone to a startled Boone, who managed to snag it before it landed on the grill.

“What did he say?” Emily asked, regarding her worriedly. “You didn’t fight, did you?”

She thought of Ethan’s admission that he was attracted to her. While that had bolstered her spirits, his underlying lack of faith in the kind of woman she was pretty much undercut all those warm and fuzzy feelings.

“There was no fight. We just clarified a few things,” she told her sister.

“Did you convince him to join us?” Emily persisted.

“I doubt I could convince Ethan to stay on the curb if a Hummer was barreling toward him,” Samantha said.

Emily blinked at that, glanced at Boone, who merely shrugged, then said. “What on earth did the man say to you?”

“Not important,” Samantha insisted.

But it had been enough to convince her she needed to forget all those teenage fantasies that had never quite died. Ethan Cole might be a real hero, but when it came down to it, he wasn’t going to be hers.

7

E
than stared at his phone for at least a minute, trying to grasp that Samantha had misunderstood him so completely and, worse, that she’d actually hung up on him because of it. Wasn’t that one more bit of proof that he was in dire need of a refresher course in social skills? He might want to keep his distance, but he’d never meant to offend her.

And now, he realized reluctantly, he needed to apologize. He tried to recall the last time he’d been called on to do that. He made it a practice to stay to himself precisely so he wouldn’t make this kind of stupid mistake.

Though he’d removed his prosthesis and taken a shower when he’d returned from the hike, planning to settle down for a quiet evening while he tried to reach Mrs. Gentry, he strapped the leg back on, pulled on a pair of jeans and a University of North Carolina T-shirt, then headed for his car.

Five minutes later he was pulling up at Boone’s. He was halfway across the lawn when B.J. spotted him and came racing his way, pulling up just in time to keep from running into him. Though Ethan’s balance was pretty much rock-solid now, it would have been humiliating to have the kid knock him on his butt in front of Samantha.

“Will you play my video game with me?” B.J. pleaded. “Everybody else is talking about the wedding.”

“And you’re bored?” Ethan surmised.

B.J.’s head bobbed. “I want Dad and Emily to get married, but this whole wedding thing is kinda crazy. Who cares about flowers and dresses and that kind of stuff? All that matters is the cake.”

Ethan laughed. “Don’t let Emily hear you say that. Women care about the flowers, the dresses and all the rest. There will come a day when understanding that is real important to your peace of mind.”

B.J. looked blank. “Huh?”

“Never mind. Let me take care of something, and then I’ll come inside and beat your socks off at that game.”

“You can’t beat me,” B.J. boasted. “Not even Dad beats me. I am the champion of North Carolina, maybe even the whole world.”

Here was a kid who’d never have a problem with self-image, Ethan thought, smiling. Maybe he should ask B.J. to spend a little time with his group. He could teach the kids a thing or two about unbridled self-confidence. Of course, Boone was the one responsible. He was one of those dads who thought his child could accomplish anything and let him know it.

“I’ll meet you inside and we’ll see,” Ethan told him, grinning, deciding it was way past time to stop giving the kid an edge when they played.

As B.J. scampered off, Ethan saw Boone stand up. When his friend started in his direction, Ethan waved him off and kept his gaze trained on Samantha, who was doing her best to ignore his arrival.

He walked over and stood directly in her line of vision. “Could we talk?” he asked politely. “Please.”

She scowled at him, but she did stand up and excuse herself. Obviously she was no more interested in causing a scene than he was.

Ethan was fully aware of the fascinated gazes around the table as he led the way to Boone’s pier, geared more toward fishing than the docking of a boat. At least they’d have a little privacy away from the rest of the family. Though he didn’t doubt that the close scrutiny would continue, at least all those meddlers wouldn’t hear what he had to say. That is, if he could think of something to say.

At the end of the pier, Samantha stood stiffly, her arms folded across her middle, her expression forbidding.

“I’m sorry, Samantha,” he said quietly. “I never, ever meant to suggest that you’re shallow or uncaring. I’m sorry you took what I said that way.”

She gave him a disbelieving look. “Then what did you mean?”

“Just that you don’t know these young people. You’re not involved in their lives. You don’t have an emotional stake in what happens to them.”

“The way you do,” she said, her gaze finally meeting his.

He nodded. “The way I do. I’ve been where they are, filled with doubts and insecurities and self-loathing. Can you honestly tell me you’ve been through anything remotely like that? Can you identify with what they’ve experienced?”

“No,” she conceded, but held his gaze. “That doesn’t mean I can’t feel compassion for any of you. And I have experienced pain, Ethan. It may not be physical like yours. It may not even be in the same league emotionally, but I have been hurt. I’ve had people tell me on a regular basis that I’m not good enough. It’s the nature of my business to experience rejection. Don’t you think that has the power to hurt, even when I know it’s not meant personally?”

Ethan sighed. “I hadn’t looked at your career that way. I just see you as this golden girl who went after what she wanted in a very competitive profession and got it.”

She smiled ruefully at that. “If only it were that simple to be an actress or a model. I put my ego on the line every time I go on an audition. And every rejection chips away at my self-confidence. Worse, these days, I don’t even get the auditions, which means people reject me without even hearing me read for a part. That’s mostly about age, I think. And you know what? Just like these kids you’re trying to help who have disabilities, my age is not something I can change. I can only change how I face it. Should I accept that roles aren’t going to be there and move on, or do I keep knocking on doors and getting turned away more often than not?”

Ethan was shaken by a perspective he’d never before considered. Okay, her life wasn’t all glamour. It wasn’t free of pitfalls and obstacles. That made her more appealing in a way he hadn’t expected. As if he needed her to be more appealing, he thought wryly.

“It seems to me you’re handling it okay,” he told her.

She laughed then. “You think so? You haven’t looked into my freezer in New York. It’s stuffed with so many containers of Ben & Jerry’s, it’s astonishing I’m not the size of a blimp.
That’s
how I’m handling it.”

He tried to imagine her with an extra ounce of weight on her and couldn’t. “Why aren’t you? The size of a blimp, I mean.”

“I may eat more ice cream than I should, but I also go to the gym. I run. Because even when I’m at my lowest, I keep fighting to stay in shape. Tomorrow might bring the juicy role of a lifetime my way, and I need to be ready. So far, thank goodness, I haven’t let the defeats steal my last shred of hope. Isn’t that exactly what you want for those kids? Hope?”

He didn’t want to acknowledge that she’d nailed it, that she understood things he hadn’t expected her to get. Instead, he looked her over, allowing his gaze to linger on the long, shapely legs revealed by a pair of formfitting capris. “You run, huh?”

“Every day.”

“Want to go running with me tomorrow?” he asked impulsively. Asking was a risk, he knew, not only because it meant spending more time with her, but because there’d be no way to disguise his prosthesis. With his running shorts, it was right there for all the world to see. It had been a long time since that had bothered him, but in front of Samantha? He was risking a lot by opening himself up to the possibility of her pity and ultimately her rejection.

She looked startled by the invitation. “You want to spend time together? Are you sure you’re up for it?”

Ethan nodded. He knew it was probably foolhardy. He knew it would lead to speculation that neither of them wanted, but he hadn’t been able to help himself. Seeing that one little glimpse of a woman who had her own share of vulnerabilities, rather than the out-of-reach golden girl he’d imagined her to be, had chipped away at his defenses. At the rate that was happening, he figured he was pretty much doomed. He might as well enjoy the experience.

* * *

Samantha was no slouch when it came to running. She took it seriously. She’d raced in a couple of half marathons and hadn’t embarrassed herself. She doubted Ethan knew that. Even if he did, she hoped he didn’t think she’d cut him any slack out of pity. Her competitive spirit wouldn’t allow it. And losing must not take too bad a toll on him. Hadn’t he admitted just the other day that he’d lost a bet with Greg, who’d beat him on a run? Of course that loss had been to someone he knew well and obviously respected, not to a woman. She wondered if he was the kind of man whose ego could take that.

She was waiting in the driveway when he arrived just after dawn. It was a shock to see him exit the car in running shorts that exposed his prosthesis. But then her gaze traveled to his muscular shoulders and flat abs and her mouth went dry. The artificial limb didn’t detract from his masculinity in the slightest. That fiancée of his must have been a complete idiot if she’d looked on him as damaged goods.

Ethan met her gaze and she saw the hint of uncertainty in his eyes as he apparently awaited her pity or judgment. Instead, she gave him a beaming smile.

“You sure you’re up to this, Cole? I run to win.”

His uncertainty faded at the challenge. “So do I.”

Without so much as a hint about what she intended, she took off, then called over her shoulder, “I don’t fight fair, either.”

They ran for the better part of an hour, Ethan guiding the way, the lead changing hands a few times. Mostly, though, they ran side by side in companionable silence.

As they turned back toward Cora Jane’s however, Samantha deliberately pushed herself to another gear. Ethan regarded her with amusement, then sprinted ahead of her easily, his long-legged strides eating up the distance at a pace she couldn’t have matched on her best day.

By the time she reached the driveway where they’d started, he was leaning against the hood of his car, looking as relaxed as if he’d just returned from a casual stroll. His body, slick with sweat, gleamed in the morning sunlight.

“Not bad,” he commented.

She panted for breath and scowled up at him. “Next time I’ll remember that you’re sneaky.”

“How am I sneaky? You’re the one who picked up the pace and turned it into a race. I just accepted the challenge.” He held out a bottle of water. “You look as if you could use this.”

She accepted it without comment and took a careful sip. “Ethan, were you a runner before? I mean, before your injury?”

“If you mean did I enter marathons and that sort of thing, no, but I had to train for football, and there were plenty of long runs in the military.”

“Did you enjoy it?”

“Hated it,” he said succinctly. “Still do. During rehab, there was a time when I could barely stay on my feet, much less walk. Running seemed like an elusive dream.”

“Which made it an irresistible challenge,” she guessed. “You made up your mind to conquer it.”

“Something like that.”

“And if you’re going to do it, you have to do it well,” she concluded.

“Is there any other way?”

“That’s how I feel about my career,” she confessed. “If I can no longer do it well, maybe it’s time to walk away.”

He gave her a startled look. “Is that what you want to do?”

“No,” she said. “But it might be the only choice. Living in New York is crazy expensive. Emily’s suggested I come to Los Angeles and stay with them. She has great contacts in the movie and TV business.”

“Sounds like something worth trying,” he said, his tone neutral.

“I don’t know. Maybe a few years ago, I’d have been up for it, but now? I’m not sure I have the drive left to start over. Acting is not something you can do halfheartedly. It takes a huge amount of determination and drive. I had that when I first went to New York. I’m not sure I do anymore.”

“What are the alternatives?” he asked, sounding genuinely interested.

Since this was the first time she’d honestly confronted the situation, unfortunately she didn’t have good answers for him. “I don’t know,” she admitted. “That’s the scary part.” She met his gaze. “You were a surgeon, right? That’s incredibly demanding. You had to be a hundred percent dedicated to the job at some point. How did you know that opening an emergency clinic in Sand Castle Bay would work for you, that you wouldn’t be bored?”

He smiled, though his expression was tinged by a surprising weariness. “Iraq and Afghanistan,” he said simply. “I’d had about as much excitement as I could handle. So had Greg. When I was in rehab, we started talking it over. He didn’t want to go back into trauma medicine. It seemed as if we were in the same place. And his family was anxious to have him back home. I loved growing up here, so even though my folks had moved away, this felt like home to me, too. It just felt right.”

“Any regrets?”

He shook his head. “I don’t believe in regrets. If it hadn’t worked out, I’d have made a change by now, but it has worked. This is a great place with terrific people. Summers with all the tourists are a little frantic. I like it best when the pace slows down.”

He studied her. “Are you thinking it would be dull as dirt after living in New York?”

Samantha grinned. “Something like that.”

“Hey, life is what you make it, wherever you are. You can be alone and bored in a big city or invigorated and busy in a small town. It’s up to you.”

“I actually think Gabi’s come to realize that,” she said. “My sister was the ultimate workaholic in Raleigh, but she had no personal life. Here she’s not only found the balance her life was missing, she’s started a whole new demanding career that suits her need to be challenged professionally.”