Sea of Love (Love in Bloom: The Bradens, Book 4) Contemporary Romance (16 page)

She blinked away the fear she’d felt when she was in the room with the sharks. “I…good, I think.”

“I’m so happy for you.”

He embraced her, and in his arms, the rest of Lacy’s anxiety dissipated.
God, I love when you hold me
.

“Since you did so well, I want to show you something really special.” Dane guided her away from the shark area, through another corridor, and stopped by a door marked
private
.

“I’m not sure we’re supposed to go in there,” Lacy said.
If he thinks I’m going to make out in the aquarium, he’s very wrong. I think…

Dane knocked on the door, and a tall, thin woman with short brown hair opened the door.

“Dane Braden!” She opened her arms and Dane hugged her.

Lacy felt a pang of jealousy. Was this one of his other women?
No. He wouldn’t bring me to meet someone he’d slept with
.

“Sara, this is Lacy Snow,” Dane said, placing his hand on the small of Lacy’s back. “Lacy’s the one I told you about.”

Told her about?

“Hi,” she said. Dane’s hand remained on her back as they followed the woman into what appeared to be a laboratory, and the intimate touch made her feel special.

“Sara and I have worked on several research projects together. She has the greatest job,” Dane explained.

“So you’re the one who turned Dane’s heart into mush?” Sara said with a bright smile.

Lacy felt her face flush, and when she looked at Dane, she realized that he was blushing, too. The streak of jealousy she’d felt fell away with the love in Dane’s eyes.

“Yeah, I do have a pretty great job,” Sara said with a bright smile. “Lacy, come look at this tank.” She motioned to a tank that was about ten feet by six feet and the height of Lacy’s chest.

Lacy peered into the tank, aware of Dane’s hand, which now touched her shoulder blade. Inside the tank were two baby sharks. Lacy gasped.

“Dane, look,” she said, reaching for his hand.

He came to her side. “I know. Incredible, right?”

“It’s rare for shark pups to be born in captivity, and they usually perish, so we feel very lucky to have our newest little additions. These are sandbar pups. We’re cautiously optimistic about them,” Sara said. “I get to spend my days monitoring these little rascals.”

Lacy didn’t realize she was holding Dane’s arm until they stepped back from the tank. “Can I touch the skin of one? I read all about how thick their skin is, and…” She looked at Dane and drew in a deep breath, still holding his arm. “I think I know how rough it is, but can I just touch it with one finger?”

Sara and Dane exchanged a glance. Dane nodded.

“Normally we wear gloves when we handle the sharks, but Dane explained to me what you’ve been through. I’m glad to see you are interested in understanding our misunderstood friends. If you wouldn’t mind using that special soap”—she nodded at a sink to her left—“then yes, of course you may.”

Lacy’s heart raced.
I’m gonna touch a baby shark. A shark!
She was surprised by her lack of fear. There were no tremors running through her, her nerves didn’t feel like live wires, and when she looked at Dane and saw the concern in his eyes, she couldn’t help but feel proud.

“Okay. I’m ready,” she said.

Dane held out his hand, and Lacy took it, then went to the side of the tank. Dane’s eyes never left her face, and knowing he was beside her gave her strength.
I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m fine
. Lacy held her breath. She reached her hand toward the water, and it began to tremble. She took a few deep breaths. Dane let go of her other hand, enabling her to hold the edge of the tank; then he rested his hand firmly on her lower back once again.

“Go slow, Lace,” he whispered.

Lacy nodded, reaching forward again. She broke the surface of the water with her index finger as the pup swam beneath, brushing its rough skin against the pad of her finger. She pulled her hand back to her chest with a gasp, her eyes still trained on the water.

Dane leaned in closer. She felt his warm breath on her cheek. “I’m right here.”

She nodded, then looked at Sara. “May I? One…one more time?”

Sara nodded.

Dane stepped closer, his body against her side, one hand on the small of her back, the other on her hip. She reached in again as the pup swam below, and this time she reached down and closed her eyes. She shivered as the unfamiliar roughness marred the tender tip of her finger; then she drew her hand out of the water slowly.

“You’re trembling,” Dane said. He wrapped her in his arms and held her against his chest. His heart beat against her cheek. Lacy closed her eyes, and pride filled her heart.
I’m fine. I did it, and I’m still okay
. Dane pressed his arms tighter around her back, and when she looked up, his eyes were suspiciously damp.

“THAT WAS THE most incredible afternoon. I touched it, Dane. I touched the baby shark, and I didn’t panic. I didn’t pass out or run away in tears. I did it,” Lacy said.

They had spent another hour at the aquarium, and now they were on their way back toward Chatham. The sun hovered just behind the tree line, casting a pinkish gray over Route 6. Lacy hadn’t stopped talking since they’d left the research area, and to Dane, it was music to his ears. The enthusiasm in her voice mirrored the enthusiasm she’d had when he’d first met her in Nassau.

“I’m so happy for you, Lacy,” he said.

“For me? How about for you?”

Dane glanced at her. She’d bundled her blond curls in one hand and secured it with an elastic band at the nape of her neck. The blue of her eyes was vibrant and alive with hope. “God, Lace, you’re so beautiful,” he said.
Shit
. He was so afraid she’d pull away from him that he quickly covered his tracks. “Sorry. What do you mean
for me
?”

“Dane, you can tell me you think I’m pretty,” she said. “Thank you. I was surprised that you had told her about me.”

“You’ve been my world for the past year and a half. I told everyone about you, Lace,” he admitted.

For a minute she just looked at him, like she didn’t know how to respond or was waiting for him to say more. When he didn’t say anything more, she said, “This means I can probably get over whatever fear rattled me so badly on the boat.”

Dane wanted to take her in his arms and allow the joy he felt about her progress to sweep them both away, but he didn’t trust himself not to get carried away with her and push their friendship into a relationship, and that was not his call to make. He was determined to let her make that decision without any pressure.

Instead, he said, “That’s true. As I said, I’m happy that you’re conquering your fears. It will allow you to have a fuller, richer life, not hamstrung by fears.”

“Thanks…I think,” she said.

He could feel her eyes on him as he drove toward town. “Should I drop you at your cottage?” he asked.

“I guess.”

He heard the disappointment in her voice.
Damn, how am I supposed to navigate this? I want you to fall in love with me, but if I act on my feelings, I’ll scare you away
.

“I want to check on Rob,” he said.

“Oh, good idea,” she said. “I hope he’s doing okay.”

“Me too,” he said.

They drove in awkward silence to Lacy’s cottage. He walked her to her door, wishing he knew how to bridge the gap that had formed between them over the past twenty minutes.
Damn it
.

Lacy’s keys hovered over the lock. She spun around and looked up at Dane. “So, what now? I just follow the itinerary tomorrow?”

“Yeah, that works.” He tried to sound nonchalant, but he really wanted to take her in his arms and kiss her until she couldn’t speak.

Lacy nodded. “Tomorrow’s the Brave Exhibit?”

“Yeah,” he said.

She nodded again, looking down at her keys. “Dane,” she said.

“Hmm?”
Invite me in. Let’s have some wine, laugh, talk. Anything. Just don’t say good night
.

“I have to check in with my boss tonight. I’ll tell him that it’s a good fit after all.” She turned and unlocked the door.

Dane’s eyes dropped to the curve of her hips, but his mind was still playing over her words.
A good fit after all.
“Thanks, I appreciate that. I know today was stressful, but if overcoming fears was easy, no one would need immersion therapy.” Dane cringed.

“Immersion therapy?” Lacy drew her eyebrows together.

“I might have called a friend and asked her how to help you through your fear.” Dane looked away, focusing on a tree in the front yard. The muscles in his arms and neck tightened, as he expected her to be angry.

“You did that?” It wasn’t an accusation.

He turned to face her. A breeze swept curls across her cheek, and he reached up and tucked them behind her ear. She closed her eyes for just a second as his finger brushed her cheek, and she smiled, easing his worry.

“I did. I wanted to help,” he explained.

“Dane, I can’t believe you did that. That’s really thoughtful.”

She touched his arm, and his body cried out to embrace her again, but he was too damn nervous now.
Baby steps
. “I’m glad you’re not upset with me.”

She shook her head. “Just the opposite.”

He smiled. “Good. Tomorrow we’re going to see the Brave Exhibit. No live sharks. I promise,” he said. He kissed her cheek, trying to ignore the pull in his groin caused by the scent of her. “Good night, Lacy.”

He turned to leave, and as he descended the front steps, she called his name.

“Yeah?” he asked.

She held his gaze for so long that Dane almost crossed back the way he’d come to kiss her again.

“Thanks,” she said. “For everything.”

He nodded. “Sure. I only want you to be happy.” He went to his car and watched as she went into the cottage and closed the door behind her.
Damn it
. He hated the idea of leaving her again, but he took solace in the fact that he’d helped her today.
At least that’s something
.

He started the car, and before he drove away, he called Rob.

“Hey, Dane,” Rob said. He sounded rested and much stronger and clearer than he had when Dane had left him earlier in the day.

“Hey, buddy. How are you feeling?” He rubbed his temples with his thumb and index finger in an attempt to focus on Rob instead of how much he longed for Lacy.

“Fine. Good, in fact. I called Sheila. She’s going to bring the kids to the Cape,” Rob said. “And I went to an AA meeting earlier. I really appreciate your help, Dane, and I’m not going to let you down. I know how to slay this monster.”

Thank God
. “That’s great, Rob, and I’m here if you need me. All you have to do is call. Day or night. I’ve got your back,” Dane said.

“You always do. Thanks, buddy. Are we sailing with your pretty lady tomorrow?” he asked.

Dane smiled and looked at the cottage. “Why don’t you spend tomorrow with Sheila and the kids. Get on better footing. We’ll go out the next day.”

“Man, that would be great. I’ll call Sheila now and let her know. All this crap came on so fast and stole my feet out from under me, Dane, and I’m really sorry. Actually, it seemed to come on fast, but as Sheila pointed out, she’s been after me for two years to leave the business. I’ve just been ignoring it,” Rob said.

“And?” Dane had the feeling Rob was about to drop a bomb he didn’t want to hear.

“Nothing. We’re working it out.”

Dane let out a relieved breath and pushed away the part of him that wanted to nag him for a clearer explanation. He knew when Rob was ready, he’d clue him in on the details.

“Hey, Dane.”

“Yeah?”

“Here’s to a good run,” Rob said.

“Yeah. A good run.”
With Lacy and with you
.

LACY’S STOMACH WAS doing flips. She’d hoped that Dane was going to at least try to kiss her goodbye, but he made no move toward her. He was a perfect damn gentleman. She hated the stupid promise she’d made. Why had she ever agreed to it? She’d be damned if she was going to be the one to break it.

She sent an email to her boss and let him know that things were going well and she was enjoying the assignment. Then she took a quick shower to clear her mind. Everywhere she looked, she saw Dane. She checked her phone for messages, but he hadn’t called or texted.
Damn
. She had to stop thinking about him. Lacy took her phone out to the deck and called Danica.

“Hey, sis, how’s it going?” Danica asked.

“Great and sucky at the same time,” Lacy said. She flopped onto a deck chair.

“Give it to me straight,” Danica said.

“Oh, Dan. Dane’s wonderful. He’s so darn nice and, well, you know how he is. That’s not new. We agreed not to fall in love with each other, and now it’s all I can think of. He had to bail his friend out of jail and—”

“What?” Danica said.

“Yeah, remember I told you about his best friend, Rob? You saw the pics. I emailed them to you months ago.”

“Oh, yeah, the brown-haired shark hunter guy,” Danica said.

Lacy looked out at the water, remembering the other night when she’d found Dane sitting in the sand. She smiled at the memory.

“Yeah, well, he’s going through a rough patch with his wife and he’s a recovered alcoholic—well, he was. His wife left him, and he started drinking a few weeks ago. He started a fight and got picked up by the police. The whole thing was really sad. The guy’s in his forties, and he’s so broken over things with his wife. But Dane was so emotional. He’s always said that Rob was like a brother to him, and today I saw it. He was so careful with him. Protective. He even offered to go to AA meetings with him,” Lacy said.

“I think Dane’s a good guy, Lace. It sounds like he’s really trying all around, but I thought you were supposed to be learning about his business.”

“I am. He took me to the library, and he was so cute. He had all these books about sharks, and he wanted me to read them, to get familiar with the sharks. But, Danica, I’d stayed up all Sunday night reading about sharks for some stupid reason. Anyway, he took me to a new aquarium, and I pet a baby shark. You’d be so proud of me. I couldn’t go into the shark room, though. Totally freaked me out. I stood in the doorway, clinging to Dane’s arm,” Lacy said.

“No panic attack?”

“No, but I wasn’t in the room with them. I stood in the doorway.”

“That’s awesome, Lacy. That’s a big step, but don’t be surprised if you have another panic attack at some point. It would be surprising if you were able to desensitize yourself in a day,” Danica said.

“Oh, and he got advice on immersion therapy to help me through my fear.”

“Yeah, about that…”

“Danica Joy, please tell me that you did not do what I think you did.” Lacy was angry and overjoyed at the same time.

“I didn’t do anything but answer a phone call…and maybe give a little advice,” Danica admitted.

“He called you?” Now the picture was becoming clearer. “So you were the friend he mentioned. And you didn’t call me and tell me? How could you?”

“Lacy, if I had told you, you’d have been angry with me, and it’s obvious how you feel about him and how he feels about you. Besides, I did more than just give him advice. I told him that if he hurt you, Blake would kill him.”

She heard the smile in Danica’s voice. “That’s just great. So he went behind my back to my
sister
.” Lacy wanted to be furious at his sneakiness, but she couldn’t. No one would do what he did unless he really—
Oh God
—loved her.

“Lace, not many guys would go that far. I was impressed,” Danica admitted.

Lacy sighed. “Yeah, I guess I am, too. He’s not like any other guy I know. That’s kind of what I wanted to ask you about. I’ve been thinking about everything, and I wonder if you might be right, that my panic attack wasn’t just about the shark. Could it really have been about everything? The shark, the memories, and the idea that after fifteen months I was finally with Dane? Could it have scared the shit out of me?” Lacy asked.

“It could have, but, Lace, you have to be careful. You can’t just assume you’ll be fine on a boat when he’s tagging. That’s really dangerous,” Danica reminded her.

“I’m not going tagging with him. Don’t worry. Danica?” Lacy asked.

“Yeah?”

“I really, really like him. I feel like those fifteen months set us up to just fall in love the moment we saw each other face-to-face. I know that’s crazy.” Lacy leaned against the deck rail and ran her finger over the rough wooden edge.

“It’s not so crazy. You guys shared your lives. You just did it from afar. You shared your secrets, Lacy. You shared your hearts. So in a way, you did set yourselves up for just that,” Danica said.

“But shouldn’t I feel something about the fact that he was with other women during that time? How can someone be intimate with another person when they have feelings for someone else? I just don’t get that,” Lace admitted.

“Oh, Lacy, intimacy is so different from what you’re defining. Sex is sex. It can be meaningless, filling-a-gap or easing-a-frustration sex, or it can be intimate and loving sex. Sex is not exclusive to love,” she said.

Lacy sighed. “I know, but...”

“From what you’ve told me, he’s not trying to hide who he was. He’s being honest and, Lacy, honesty is the most important thing in a relationship.” Danica paused, then said, “Haven’t you ever done anything in your life that you would be mortified if someone found out about?”

“No,” Lacy said.

“Nothing? Ever? You never cheated on a test or made out with a teacher? You never had sex on the roof of your high school? Or masturbated to a picture of your best friend’s father?” Danica asked.

“Geez, Danica, what kind of people did you help when you were a therapist? No, I haven’t done those things,” Lacy said, then flopped into a chair.

“Well, you really are perfect, little sister,” Danica teased. “Listen. Maybe you’re right. Maybe you’re not cut out to be with him no matter what you feel for him. It takes a really strong, special person to forgive a past that is so different from her own.”

“You make it sound like I’m conceited or I think I’m above him somehow,” Lacy said.

“No. I’m just being realistic. If you had done some of those things, you might understand the whole using-sex-as-an-escape thing, but you didn’t, so to you it’s foreign. How did you ever forgive Dad?”

Lacy pictured Danica’s serious dark eyes watching her, waiting for an answer. “He’s my father. I didn’t forgive him so easily, and I’m not sure I have completely forgiven him yet. I have my moments when the whole thing still upsets me, but then I realize that he just happened to love two women…at the same time.”

“But isn’t that worse than not loving any and being honest about it? He’s not living a double life, unless…did you guys say you were exclusive for all those months?”

“No, Danica, you know we didn’t.” Lacy stood and paced.

“Then it sounds to me like you need to make a decision. You’re either in the relationship and willing to forget his past—really forget it, as in, not bring it up every time you have an argument—or you’re out and you let him go and move on.”