SEAL Wolf In Too Deep (17 page)

“I really appreciate the cabin and its location when I return home from missions. Lots of solitude and wildlife. Nature at its finest. Plus, I can run when I want without having trouble with neighbors or others catching sight of me. As to the confinement, it wouldn't be safe running off on your own. Not when you don't have control over the shifting. If you were on your own, what do you think would happen? You couldn't even go out to get groceries without worrying you were going to shift. You'd have no one to run errands for you until you can get this under control.”

“I don't plan on running. I'm not stupid.”

“No, you're not. But you did try to at your place.”

“That was different. I thought you were going to bite me.”

He smiled.

“You know what I mean. That you were going to turn me into one of your own kind. But then I took a bath and shifted. At that point, I knew I really had no choice.”

“As to your point about killing someone, your human personality dictates what your wolf half does. Some of our wolf half is instinctual: protective of pack mates or others, being wary and curious, but our human half still dictates much of what we do.”

She sighed. “Okay, no, I didn't feel like going out on a hunt and eating rabbits, deer, or any men last night. Not even you. I was just…angry when I jumped at you, all snarly and growly, and I'm really sorry. What did you expect? I'm normally not like that.”

“I know you aren't. You were just upset about everything that had happened to you and acting on instinct. If you'd really wanted to bite me, you would have. Even though you might think I was keeping you from hurting me, you were a lot stronger than that. You were holding back.”

“I was exhausted.”

“Even an exhausted wolf could have injured me in a major way. Granted, some wolves are nasty. It's the human half that makes them so. Just like humans are good and bad. So sometimes we have to eliminate them. We can't go to jail so we take care of our own kind.”

Her mouth was gaping again. Allan supposed it was a lot to take in at once. He needed to shut up and let her eat, and they could talk about nicer things for a change.

“So…you don't want to date me,” he said.

She started to eat her breakfast and drank some of her coffee. “You know how I said I wasn't exactly a morning person?”

“Okay, so you don't want to discuss this first thing in the morning.”

“Allan, no, there's no way I'm dating you.”

“But you would have until this happened, right?”

She finished up her food and took her plate to the kitchen.

He scarfed the rest of his breakfast down. “Okay, no dating.” But she was living with him, and that was even better. Dating was overrated.

“You don't mean it,” she said, cleaning up, but he took the pan she was going to wash away from her. She smiled at him, just a little. “Don't think washing the pots and pans is going to change my mind.”

“Hadn't even considered it.” She would learn that he was always like that with the dishes. When his mother or sister cooked, he always did the dishes, his thanks for someone else cooking. But if Debbie thought he was trying to win her favor, then he was all for it.

Debbie was certain the wolf standing next to her, scrubbing away at the scrambled eggs left on the frying pan, had every intention of dating her. He just thought he was going to give her time to get used to the idea. She had news for him. She was
never
mating any wolf.
Ever.
Mating for life? No way.

Her neat, orderly little life had been shot to hell when she turned into a werewolf. What did he call them?
Lupus garous
? Fancy name for a horror-flick creature.

No, she hadn't come to grips with being a werewolf. And no, she didn't think she ever could. The whole notion was so unreal. She kept thinking she'd wake up and the nightmare would end. But this was it. Her real life now.

She didn't see herself as the beautiful wolf he probably saw, but as a scary, snarling, growling, furry, biting predator.

She glanced at him. They didn't do it wolf style, did they? Ewww.

“What?” he said, not even looking up at her as he finished washing the frying pan. “Don't hesitate to ask whatever's on your mind. You need to know everything, but there will be things you'll think of that I won't. You can ask any of us anything you'd like.”

“Do you…have sex as wolves?” She figured he'd either laugh at her or say yes, and she didn't know which would be worse.

“No. At least no one I know does. Humans get a lot more enjoyment out of the act. For wolves, there's a courtship phase and they are protective of each other, but it's just not the same with them when it comes to mating. It has more to do with the procreation of the species. They're innately wired that way, and only the alpha pair will have pups. That's to ensure the whole wolf pack has enough to eat and the rest of the wolves help to take care of the pups. Too many pups and yearlings would spell disaster for the whole pack. As humans, we have the human perspective. We have a mix of alphas and betas in a pack. Most of us end up pairing up with a mate and mating for life. We have our own kids, but all the pack members are eager to look after them.”

“How will I know who is in the pack?”

“We'll provide you with a list. Also, when you meet them, you'll now be able to smell their wolf scent and know they're one of us. Of course, if you worked with wolves at a wolf center, you could smell like one, but it wouldn't mean that you were one. Out here, yeah.”

Then she thought of the earlier rescue they'd made and how she had thought Allan's request so odd, and now she wondered…

She frowned at him. “When we rescued Franny and her baby, you told me to cancel the one ambulance and call for another. I couldn't understand because it could have meant precious minutes were wasted. Then they took her to the clinic where Tara and I were seen. Don't tell me that she and her baby are werewolves?”

“Yeah. She was so disoriented, I was afraid she was going to strip out of her clothes right then and there and turn into her wolf. Instinctively, she would have known her wolf coat would give her more protection from the cold. But she wasn't really thinking clearly because you would have seen her do it. Well, and you were cradling her baby, and babies shift when their mother does—”

“She would have suddenly turned into a wolf pup? I would have had a heart attack.”

“Yeah, that was another reason to keep Franny from turning.”

“So what about Franny and the red Camaro she said caused her accident? Was it Otis? Or just a really bizarre coincidence? Then again, if he killed Sarah, did he know that Franny was also a wolf?”

“I'm thinking there's got to be a common denominator,” Allan said. “We need to have Franny come up here to speak with us.” He couldn't have been more pleased that Debbie was focusing on the case and not completely on her werewolf issues now. She had made a valid point—something they needed to learn more about.

Debbie frowned. “Oh. My. God. The report I read about Sarah's autopsy—she had bitten her attacker. I was thinking with her human teeth, naturally, because his blood was on her teeth and mouth, and we never saw his bite marks. If she had bitten him as a wolf…has he been turned?”

“Possibly. Which may be why he disappeared for so long—he's been unable to control the shifting.”

“And they said wolf fur had been caught on the trap. They believed that he had caught a wolf first and the fur was just stuck to it. But it had to have been Sarah's fur.” Her mouth gaped. “I called Rowdy's office about the red Camaro when I found it in conjunction with Otis shooting Tara. What if he or any of his men had seen Tara shift?”

“That's a concern we always have to face. It's a real danger for us. Luckily, she arrived at the clinic well before Rowdy checked on the two of you and she had shifted back to her human self.”

Debbie's thoughts were jumping from one scenario she'd witnessed to the next, realizing now how so much made sense. “And when the ambulance picked up Franny, I did hear a bark when she and her baby were inside.”

“You asked if I heard a dog bark. I said no. Technically, she'd shifted into a wolf.”

Debbie took a deep breath, thinking about what had happened to her, Tara, and Sarah. “I…I want to help bring the shooter down, Allan. I know it's going to be harder for me with the problem of shifting, but I want to help. I don't want to be left out of the loop. It's not a case of revenge either. I think of Lori and Rose and them being pregnant, well, now with Rose having her triplets, and their mates losing them and…well, maybe if I can still do this, I won't feel so…discombobulated. If Otis did try to kill Franny and her baby, we need to stop him before he hurts anyone else.”

“I understand. You're staying on the case. We'll just be more careful about when we go out to search for clues.”

“Was I too rough on you last night?” She felt a mix of emotions about that. Satisfaction that she had scared him a little, but she did worry he'd believe she was untamable and a danger to everyone. She couldn't imagine anything worse than being confined to his cabin for months on end without visitation rights.

“You were having a rough time of it. Nothing I couldn't handle. And you might not think so yourself, but you're a beautiful wolf.”

She gave him an annoyed look. She couldn't help it. She appreciated that he thought she was a beautiful woman. But a wolf?

His phone rang and she suspected it was Paul, as close as they were and as much as she assumed Paul was dying to learn how it went with her last night. Now she realized it didn't all have to do with having been raised as brothers either. He was Allan's pack leader. And hers now too? She groaned.

It was one thing to not like a boss and quit a job, but what if she didn't like the pack leaders' rules and wanted to just…leave?

She doubted they'd let her.

* * *

Allan answered the phone and said, “Yeah, Paul, we're both still alive.”

Then he smiled and Debbie smiled back, though he thought her expression was a bit devious.

Allan had to be careful about what he said to Paul so he didn't antagonize Debbie, even though she left him in the kitchen and said she was getting dressed. She might still be able to hear him talking if she made the effort to eavesdrop on his half of the conversation.

“Any trouble?”

“Nah.” Allan didn't want Paul to think he had to call on anyone else to help with Debbie. He thought if he and she kept an open dialogue, they'd be fine.
Eventually.
“Everything's fine. We just finished having a delightful breakfast that she prepared for us this morning.”

“Really? She's back to being her normal self?” Paul sounded surprised and Allan didn't blame him.

“Yeah. She wants to keep searching into this business with the lake murder and find the shooter who nearly killed her and Tara. We can work it out.”

“Are you sure? What with the phase of the full moon being out for several days?”

“We'll figure it out. She needs to do this. It'll help her to adjust if she feels some part of her life is still the same. With her enhanced wolf abilities, she'll see the usefulness in that aspect of her life.”

“Okay, I trust you know what you're doing. Is she comfortable staying with you, or do we need to make some other arrangements?”

“I'd say after we managed to get through the night in one piece and she made a lovely breakfast, we're doing fine. But I'll ask her anyway.”

“Can you do it now? That way I can line up someone else if she wants to move.”

“Yeah, sure. She's in her bedroom getting dressed.” Allan padded down the hall and knocked on her door. “Are you fine with the arrangements here, Debbie? Or do you want to stay with someone else?”

“You're going to work with me to find the shooter and you're my partner, so I'm fine with staying here,” she said, not sounding pleased, but it was a start.

“Good.” Allan told Paul, “She's staying with me so we can work out the details about the shooter.”

“Just remember she can shift at any time, and she could get growly about it. It's got to be a frustrating time for a newly turned wolf.”

Tell me about it.
“I understand.” Allan swore he heard a low growl from the bedroom. “Got to go, Paul. I'll give you an update later.” Before he hung up, Debbie howled and slammed into the bedroom door, sounding pissed off…
again
.

So much for keeping her progress a secret from Paul.

And so much for helping her get through this so she wouldn't feel so frustrated with her lack of control.

Allan stripped out of his boxers and opened the guest bedroom door. Instead of lunging at him this time, she sat still, like a statue, looking at his naked form, then lifted her gaze to his, puzzled, as if she wondered just what he was up to.

“We're doing this together,” he said, thinking maybe if he was a wolf too, she wouldn't feel so alien. He hoped that he wouldn't scare her. He shifted and she watched, staring at him as if she were in awe, shocked, or surprised. Maybe a little of all three.

The shift was painless, just a quick warming of the muscles, a blurring of forms, and he was a wolf. A bigger wolf than she was. He hoped that didn't intimidate her.

She sniffed at the air, smelling his scent and gathering what he was feeling, which was a
lupus garou's
interest in another. Because that's just what she was now. He didn't know if it would ever work out between them. She had to want him too, forever, and she may never be prepared to mate with one of his kind.

He stood still, not getting any closer, letting her come to him. She remained where she was.

He wanted to smile, but he was certain she wouldn't understand that showing his wicked wolf canines in this instance meant he was smiling. He sighed, then moved forward. Her ears went back. She wasn't trembling, but she was unsure of his intentions. Or maybe just what it was to feel like a wolf getting to know another wolf. Again, he realized what a huge undertaking that was for her also.

* * *

Allan was a huge wolf. Huge! Before he had shifted, he had dropped his boxers, and she'd wondered what in the world he'd planned to do. She hadn't expected him to shift into a wolf. The sight was extraordinary—so fast, the blurring of one form into the other—until he dropped to his feet as a very real wolf.

He was beautiful in a very handsome wolf way. His coat was shiny and thick. Striking silver and tan markings on his face, his chest white and his back a silvery, golden saddle. But he was so big!

He towered next to her and she tried not to cower before him. She didn't think she'd be some beta wolf, but this was a totally new experience for her. So maybe as a human she was alpha, and as a wolf, sort of beta?

She had to snap out of this and stand right up to him. Only she was afraid her legs would shake.

He licked her cheek. She bowed her head a little, and she was afraid that was cowering. She lifted her head and looked him in the eye, forced her ears to perk up, but she didn't lick him back. Wasn't that a sign she was interested in more? Like courting? Or mating? Dating?

No way did she want to go there.

She didn't know what to do in response to show there were no hard feelings right now. And that she appreciated he was trying to make her feel better by turning into a wolf. But she didn't want him to get the notion she wanted to do any mating nonsense.

So how was she supposed to react?

He moved away from her then. She was afraid she'd hurt his feelings, but then he bowed in front of her, his butt in the air, his tail wagging. She recognized it as a play bow, like the German shepherd they had raised when she was growing up did. He would do that in front of the neighbor's husky. She thought if she could relate what her dog had done to how a wolf would react, she could figure out some of this canine psychology.

The problem still was that she didn't know how to react. She wasn't ready to bow down to Allan and play with him. This was just too bizarre.

Good-naturedly and with lots of patience, he waited for her to respond.

Oh, all right
. What could it hurt? Well, lots, if she bit him too hard or he bit her too hard. Then again, he would know not to. She wouldn't.

She twisted around and tackled him, growling fiercely because it just came out that way, even if she didn't mean to growl so wildly. He rolled onto his back in a purely submissive way and opened his mouth to play bite, but he was so gentle that it taught her to be gentle. Maybe they were supposed to do this in a rougher way, but for now, it was like taking baby steps.

She realized then that she couldn't have had a better teacher.

She was on top of him, going for his neck, mouthing him, when she couldn't have imagined anything yuckier than grabbing a furry beast by the neck before, but it felt right. All of it. Tackling him. Biting him. All in fun. Nothing sexual about it. She didn't think.