Sealing the Deal (13 page)

“Sick of dirty diapers already?” Dani asked. “That’s one of the reasons I don’t think I’ll ever have munchkins. I still gag when I change a smelly diaper.” She shrugged. “Maybe it’s different when the baby’s your own.”

“It’s definitely different when she’s your own.” The words slipped out before Beth realized their significance.

In the weeks since she and Emma had moved in with Robert, Beth had effortlessly glided into the role of “mother,” of
matka
. If she didn’t overthink things, she could picture herself and Robert as parents and Emma as their child. But only if she didn’t overthink, which wasn’t bloody likely. People were, after all, nothing but creatures of habit. Overanalyzing was every bit a part of her as breathing.

Then again, she was beginning to understand Robert’s rapid attachment to Emma. If only Beth could be sure that he cared for her every bit as much as he did the baby.

“About that…” Dani fumbled around in her purse for a moment and then produced a business card. “This is the lawyer I told you about.”

“The custody specialist?” Beth took the card, surprised that it was vivid lavender with a cartoon cat in the background. What kind of lawyer had purple business cards?

The best, according to Dani and some of her college sorority sisters.

“She’s the one who helped Maggie Butler and her domestic partner, or wife, or whatever the PC term is,” Dani said. “It wasn’t an easy process to say the least.”

“Their son was Vietnamese, right?” Mallory asked, leaning over to read the card Beth still held. “Alexis Comer, attorney at law.”

Dani answered with a nod. “You wouldn’t believe all Maggie and Carla had to do to get that baby. But Alexis was there every step of the way. Maggie said she even flew to Vietnam with them to pick Henry up and bring him home.”

“After that case, helping me adopt Emma should be a cakewalk.” No sooner had she said it than a shiver ran the length of Beth’s spine.

“Careful, Beth. Don’t wanna jinx yourself,” Jules said, which was exactly what Beth had been thinking. At least Jules threw in a wink to lighten the foreboding mood.

“What about Robert?” Mallory picked up her Diet Cherry Coke and leaned back in her chair. “Is he adopting her, too?”

“Why should he?” Beth wasn’t sure she was ready to even think about Robert adopting Emma. That would rock the boat, and since the present was smooth sailing, it seemed a silly thing to do.

The Ladies were right. She
was
smiling all the time now. Everything was close to perfect. Robert had been her knight in shining armor. He’d helped her at a time when she had most certainly been a damsel in distress. She’d been given a baby she was ill equipped to care for; he’d taught her the tricks of parenting. Her home had been too small; he’d given her a castle. Loneliness had been making her unhappy; he’d filled her life with love.

One-sided love
.

Since when had she become so cynical? Why couldn’t she just live in the moment and enjoy what she shared with him before it ended?

“Earth to Beth.” Dani gripped her hand. “You know, for someone who was smiling like the Cheshire cat a minute ago, you’re frowning enough to make me worried.”

“Typical Beth,” Mallory added, her tone teasing. “I’ve never seen anyone who could change moods as fast as you do, sweetie.”

“Sorry,” Beth said with a shrug. “Just thinking.”
Thinking too much, as usual
.

She shoved the business card in her purse, planning on calling the lawyer when she got home from school. “Thanks for the referral, Dani.”

“You’re welcome. But you still didn’t answer my question.”

The topic wasn’t going to drop, darn it. “Robert hasn’t said a word about wanting to adopt Emma. It’s not like he wants anything that permanent.”
With either of us
.

“I think you’re underestimating him,” Mallory said. “He loves that baby.”

“I know that,” Beth snapped before she could stop herself. Then she breathed a sigh. “Sorry. I know Emma means the world to him.”

Mallory set her can down and folded her arms under her breasts. “So do you.”

“He likes me well enough, I suppose.” The way he’d made love to her, she knew there was affection behind his actions. He’d insisted she share the master suite with him. They were telling the world they were a couple. She only wished she knew exactly how he felt.

“Likes?” Dani shook her head. “It’s a helluva lot more than that. Robert loves you.”

Since she wasn’t sure what he felt had—or ever would—become love, Beth only shrugged.

“Give it time.” Jules popped to her feet. “Gotta run. As usual.” She slung the strap of her enormous purse over her shoulder. Then she leveled a hard stare at Beth. “Do me a favor, Beth?”

“Of course!”

“Trust me on this. I’ve been Robert’s friend since before we were the Ladies Who Lunch, so I understand him better. There’s no way he’d have moved you into that gorgeous house if he didn’t feel every bit as strongly about you as he does about Emma. I’d expect a ring, and perhaps an adoption request, in the near future.”

“You’re all moving way too fast,” Beth insisted. Jules’s words had set her hopes soaring and her heart pounding.

“I think Jules is right,” Mallory said with a nod. “It’s just easier for him to admit that he loves Emma than it is for him to admit that he loves you.”

Beth let out a snort. “He doesn’t love me.”

“You’re the only one who doesn’t see it,” Dani said. “I think Mal and Jules have it pegged. Guys are scared of talking about their feelings. It’s one thing to be so open with Emma. With you… well, he’s probably more afraid.”

That made no sense. “Afraid? Of what?”

“Of you.” Jules made it to the door before she glanced back. “Of how much he feels for you. You might have to tell him first, Beth.”

“Tell him what?”

“That you love him.” With a wave, Jules left.

* * *

The end of the school day couldn’t come fast enough.

Beth’s afternoon classes had been nothing short of torture. The students were working on writing essays, which left her with far too much quiet time to get lost in her thoughts.

If what the Ladies said at lunch was true, that Robert loved her, why hadn’t he told her so?

Duh
.

Fear of rejection.

But Beth had never rejected him, nor would she ever. She’d welcomed him into her life, her body, and her heart with arms wide open. If she was honest with herself, her invitation had been sent a long time ago, from the moment she’d met him. He’d always been the man she compared all of her dates to, and she’d turned to him sometimes before she’d turned to Dani.

Surely he knew what she felt. He’d be blind not to see it.

Then there was Emma to consider. Beth wanted to make things easier for their future. By adopting her, Beth could avoid the discomfort of constantly having to say, “I’m her aunt
and
her guardian.” Everything from enrolling her in school to getting her on the school’s health insurance plan required a “parent.” Sure, she was Emma’s guardian, but Beth was sick and tired of having to jerk out the paperwork to prove it.

She needed to be Emma’s mother. Officially. End of discussion. Alexis Comer was getting a phone call when school ended.

One question niggled at Beth’s brain.

Does Robert want to be Emma’s father?

Broaching the subject would be opening up a scary and rather awkward discussion at a way-too-early time in their relationship. Unfortunately, time wasn’t on their side. If Beth planned to move forward with the adoption, it would be best if Robert were a part of it from the first moment. Then they would have to talk about adoption proceedings, and the “M” word was sure to come into play.

The last thing in the world she wanted was to have him think he had to marry her to be able to hold on to Emma. If he wanted marriage, he needed better, stronger reasons.

Like he loves me
.

Beth feared his feelings for her were so entangled with his feelings for Emma that he could never separate the two. If there was a choice between them, a need to know exactly which of his “girls” he cared for most, Emma would win. Hands down.

A knock on her classroom door drew her back to the world.

“Ms. Rogers. Here.” A frowning sophomore with a far-too-large T-shirt thrust a folded piece of pink paper at her.

Beth plucked it out of his grasp and absently said, “Thanks.” Not like the kid even heard it. He’d already started hiking back down the long corridor.

It was only when she unfolded the message that her heart leapt to a furious cadence. One word jumped out of the scribblings.

Emma
.

“Darn it!”

Every student glanced up from their work at her unusually loud outburst.

“Sorry,” Beth said, a hot flush spreading over her face. “Please get back to your essays.”

She’d forgotten that she’d silenced her classroom phone while the students were working on a quiz before lunch. Since the kids weren’t allowed to have their cell phones during the day, Beth had become accustomed to leaving hers in her purse. A dumb thing to do since Robert had obviously been trying unsuccessfully to reach her.

Good mothers didn’t leave their phones in their purses.

The note asked her to call him immediately, so Beth flicked her classroom phone back to life. Despite the twenty-eight adolescents who’d be listening in, she quickly dialed Robert’s cell and waited for what seemed like an eternity for him to answer.

“Beth! Finally!” The irritation was plain in his voice.

“What’s wrong?”

“What’s
wrong
is that I couldn’t get you to answer a damn phone. I’ve been trying to reach you for close to an hour.”

In all their time together, way back to when she’d first come to Douglas High School, he’d never taken that kind of angry tone with her. Not even when they’d disagreed over some of her suggestions for one of the houses they’d worked on together.

“I’m sorry. There was a quiz and… I… I forgot to turn the ringer back on after lunch.” She sounded exactly like a child making an excuse for having played outside past suppertime. “Why did you need me? The note said to call about Emma.”

“I had to take her to Hudson County Hospital. We’re in the ER.”

“Oh dear Lord. What happened?”

“She fell and hit her head. It’s bad. I need you to get down here as fast as you can.”

Chapter Twelve

Robert dragged his fingers through his hair as he paced the concrete just outside the doors of the emergency room, trying to calm his thoughts. It shouldn’t take so long for Beth to drive from the school to the hospital. The nurses weren’t letting him back into the treatment area with Emma, and he couldn’t stop worrying about her. When Beth got there, they’d finally be able to see their daughter.

“Stupid hospital,” he mumbled to himself as he paced. “Stupid HIPAA. Stupid CPS.”

Child Protective Services. An agency he’d never thought he’d encounter since he’d left teaching. Yet a CPS worker had been summoned not long after Robert was asked to leave the ER room where the nurse and doctor were treating Emma’s head injury.

He calmed his unwarranted anger. These people were only doing their jobs. Hell, he was a man with an injured child who wasn’t any relation of his. If he was totally honest with himself, he’d admit he’d have reacted the exact same way. They were doing what they believed was best for Emma.

CPS was stepping in because a nearly year-old girl had fallen and hit her forehead against the corner of an open cabinet door while in the care of her aunt’s boyfriend. Poor Emma had a nice-sized goose egg above her left eye, and she hadn’t stopped crying until the nurse in the ER took her from Robert.

Then Emma had screamed.

Maybe when she was older, he’d be able to look back and laugh as he told the story of how Emma had called his name for the first time when he’d rushed her to the ER and she’d been taken from his arms. Not only had she called for him—
Bobber
—but she’d also damn near squirmed her way out of the nurse’s grasp to get back to him.

With her first birthday only weeks away, he and Beth had been worried because Emma didn’t talk much. Even when she wanted something, she tended to use her own unique version of sign language to let them know what she needed.

Well, she was damn well talking now.

“Robert!”

He stopped grumbling and pacing to watch Beth jog across the small ER parking lot. He shook his head at his inability to stop watching her breasts bouncing as she moved.

“Where’s Emma?” Beth was out of breath, and her eyes were wide with panic.

“She’s still in the treatment area.”

“Why aren’t you with her?”

As Beth tried to step past him, Robert grabbed her arm. “Because we can’t go back there. Not yet.”

She glared at his restraining hand. “Why?”

Dropping her arm, he laced his fingers through hers. “She got hurt while I was watching her, so they want to investigate if it was an accident or deliberate injury.”

Beth blinked a couple of times, the only indication she’d even heard his words. “Are you joking?”

“About this?” He shook his head.

“They can’t possibly think you’d hurt Emma on purpose.”

“Yeah, well…” He’d been devastated by the veiled accusation, and he hadn’t been able to shrug them off. No matter how he tried to justify their actions, those actions hurt him. Deeply.

Hurt Emma?

Not in a million years!

He frowned. “I guess they want to err on the side of caution.”

“On the side of ridiculous.” Beth tugged his hand, leading him back through the doors and into the ER receiving area. She strode right up to the desk and rapped on the glass window.

The clerk in a navy-blue smock with a Hudson County Hospital patch glanced up, smiled, then hit a button as she spoke into a microphone. “May I help you?”

“Yes, you can. Please open the doors to the treatment area so I can get back there and see my daughter.”

“What’s your daughter’s name?” the woman asked, her fingers poised over the keyboard of her computer.