SEALs Honor (15 page)

"I
don’t have the rest of my arm. Why bother?"

She
crossed both arms over her chest and leaned close, whispering, "Are you a
SEAL or a pansy ass?"

Delaney
was torn between telling off Leigha for being so hard on Cory, and laughing out
loud. The woman looked like she could be broken in two by any one of the
wounded warriors in the rehab center. She couldn't be more than five feet tall
in heels, but she had backbone. In a place as depressing as it was hopeful,
she'd need the strength.

Cory
had been through multiple surgeries on his stump to clean out the shrapnel,
dead tissue, and bone. The pain he'd suffered broke Delaney's heart, and she
was glad her commander had given her leave to stay with him through the worst
of it.

But
now duty called, and she had to go back to the war. After smelling the acrid
scents of alcohol and disinfectant, and freezing in hospital rooms kept cool to
ward off infection, she looked forward to the grit, dust, and heat of the
desert. And she couldn't wait to get back behind the controls of a Black Hawk helicopter.

During
one of Cory's rest breaks when his therapist had gone off to help another soldier,
Delaney touched his shoulder. "Cory, honey, I need to leave. I have to
pack and be on the plane in two hours."

"You
sure you don't want me to come with you to the airport?" Cory looked up,
his eyebrows raised in a hopeful expression.

Delaney
shook her head. "I don't like tearful goodbyes, and I don't want to worry
about you getting back to the hospital."

His
face fell, and he reached out with his good hand to capture hers. "I don't
know what I would have done without you, O'Connell."

She
smiled. He'd never called her Delaney and he'd yet to kiss her like he meant
it. Sure he'd pecked her on the cheek, but he acted as if he'd lost some of his
manhood when he'd lost his arm. As bad as it had been through his surgeries,
the agony, and depression, Delaney couldn't tell him how she really felt. After
losing an arm, what more disappointment and heartache could he stand?

She
really loved Cory and couldn't bear to see him in any additional pain. But did
she have to marry him to keep him from giving up hope?

Maybe
once she was back in the desert, he'd come to realize they weren't meant to be.
And to prove it to him and to herself, she leaned up on her toes to get closer,
captured his face between her palms and kissed him like she would have kissed
Tuck—long, lingering and with a little tongue action.

Cory
didn't taste like Tuck, but he cupped the back of her neck and deepened the
kiss. Granted, he was a good kisser. At least, he had that going for him. But
the spark just wasn't there—that soul-inspiring jolt of electricity that pulsed
through her veins when she kissed Tuck was absent.

"Eh-hem.
Want me to come back later?" Leigha stood behind Cory with her brows
raised.

Delaney
straightened, her cheeks burning. "No. I was just leaving."

"Take
your time. I'm here all day." She winked at Cory and performed a perky
about-face.

Delaney
chuckled. "I think you've met your match in that one."

"Yeah."
Cory frowned, his gaze following the woman across the floor. Then he turned to
Delaney. "Promise me you'll Skype when you can."

"I'll
try. With the time difference, I'm not sure how often I can."

"And
tell Tuck I'm okay. He's probably blaming himself." Cory stared down at
his arm. "He shouldn't. I don't."

"I'll
let him know." If she saw him in theater. The SEALs didn't always stay in
one place for long, and she wasn't sure of her assignment when she got back.
They might send her to another province. Her chest ached at the thought of
seeing Tuck again. Having left in such a hurry, she hadn't had an opportunity
to say all that needed to be said.

Knowing
the way Tuck felt about commitment, she wasn't sure there was anything left to
say. She was engaged to Cory. Anything they might have had was over unless she
broke her engagement.

"Cory?"
Delaney opened her mouth, wanting to say so much more. To tell him the kiss
hadn't done anything for her, that they weren't meant for each other. To break
their engagement.

"Yeah,
babe?" He still held her hand, weaving his fingers through hers.

Words
lodged in her throat and she finally choked out, "You realize that was our
first real kiss."

He
smiled. "I know. I'm just sad it wasn't before..." He shrugged. "You
know."

"Before
you lost your arm?" Delaney called it as it was. "That doesn't
matter."

"Does
to me. It might have been better."

"The
kiss?"

"Yeah."

"You
didn't feel anything either?"

His
brows furrowed. "Is that what you think?" He pulled her into his
one-armed embrace and kissed the top of her head. "Of course I did."

Delaney
could have kicked herself.  She braced herself for when the full impact of her
words came to him.

She
didn't have long to wait.

"Wait."

Her
stomach sank and knotted.

Cory
set her at arm's length, his frown deepening. "Either? Are you telling me
you didn't feel it?"

She
hesitated, prepared to lie, and then sighed, leaning her forehead against his
broad chest. "I wanted to."

He
tipped up her chin. "I thought you loved me."

"I
do. I'm just not sure it's the kind of love you need."

"O'Connell,
I've loved you from the first time you spilled popcorn on the couch in our
apartment at Little Creek."

She
smiled up at him, his image blurred through a wash of ready tears. "Tuck
was mad. He missed a pass by the Miami Dolphins when they played the New
England Patriots."

"He
got over it. Especially when you started picking up all the popcorn in his lap.
Seems to me he forgot all about the game." Cory grinned. "For a while
there, I thought you two would get together."

Delaney
opened her mouth to tell him he'd been right.

Before
she could, Cory continued. "But when he didn't make a move, I figured I
had a shot. So you didn't feel anything when we kissed?" He shook his
head. "Then I'm not giving my best." He winked. "I used to have
a reputation with the women, until I met you. I had a knack for flirting."
His chest puffed out.

"Why
did you stop flirting?"

All
the air left his lungs and he sagged. "What's it matter? I got my girl.
Why should I flirt?"

"Cory,
you can't wait around for me. What if I don't come back?"

"You're
too damned good a helicopter pilot to bite the big one in the sandbox. You'll
be back."

"But—"

"I
don't want to hear it. One of us has to carry on the tradition of duty, honor,
country."

She
pressed a finger to his lips. "Promise me this."

He
captured the finger and kissed the tip. "Anything."

"Keep
your options open."

He
frowned. "I love you, O'Connell. I don't want anything else."

"Promise
me," she insisted, narrowing her gaze.

"I'll
think about it."

She
waited, ready to blurt out that she wanted to be released from her promise to
marry him, but at the last minute couldn't. "Play nice with your therapist
and be strong."

"I
have to be. We're getting married when you get back." He drew her close
with his good arm and crushed her lips with his.

Delaney
let him kiss her, allowing his tongue to slide between her teeth and caress the
length of hers. When they broke apart, she only felt relief. Ducking her head,
she hurried from the room, casting one last glance behind her as she left.

Cory
was still watching her, his brow furrowed.

Leigha,
the therapist, descended on him and put him to work.

At
least he was in good hands. Leigha knew what Cory needed more than Delaney.
With her out of the way, he'd work hard at recuperating.  When she returned,
she'd break the truth to him that they couldn't get married. By that time, he'd
have had weeks apart from her. Hopefully enough time to see that they weren't
right for each other.

Her
heart heavy, Delaney struck out for her hotel room to pack her bag and take a
taxi to the airport. Her pulse quickened at the thought of being back in the
cockpit and in the same country as Tuck.

*

"I
heard Razor is back in town."

Tuck
was on his seventieth sit-up when Big Bird dropped that bomb. He stopped
halfway up, his heart slamming hard against his chest. Delaney was back. "That's
good." He pumped out ten more repetitions, sweat dripping off his brow.
Though the sun was well on its way to the horizon, the earth had yet to lose
any of the daytime residual heat. Temperatures hovered at over one hundred,
until the sun completely set. And then the sandbox became almost bearable.

Big
Bird dropped down beside him and started with leg lifts, making them look like
child's play, his long legs rising and falling, the muscles of his bare abdomen
flexing and extending with each rep.

"Read
on Reaper's Facebook he was doing good. Got him in rehab. Bet he's givin' those
therapists a run for their money. Should be bench pressing a couple hundred
pounds by day three."

Tuck
remained silent, his gut clenching.

Big
Bird let his feet fall to the ground and he stared over at Tuck. "You
still thinking the injury was your fault?"

Tuck
grunted, refusing to answer. His team never missed an opportunity to counsel
him on what he should and shouldn't be feeling. He'd been there when Cory had
almost lost his life.

"Could
have been any one of us. Even you."

"Should
have been me," he bit out, regretting his outburst as soon as it crossed
his lips.

"We
all signed on as SEALs, accepting the risks equally. Just because you didn't go
through that door first doesn't mean you got something to be ashamed of."

"I
don't want to talk about it." Tuck rose to his feet, ready to jog a dozen
laps inside the wire. Outside the wire, if he could. To hell with IEDs. Maybe
he'd land on one and put an end to his second-guessing.

Big
Bird rose, lightning fast, and grabbed his arm. "Well, you better talk
about something. We're a team, and you're not acting like a part of it."

Tuck's
fists clenched. He wanted to hit Big Bird, a man he'd give his life for. Hell,
there wasn't a man on his entire team he wouldn't give his life for. Including
Reaper.

"Go
ahead, hit me," Big Bird said. "If punching me makes you feel better
and gets this shit outta your system. We need you back, one hundred ten
percent. You copy?"

His
fists loosened and he nodded. "Roger."

Big
Bird let go of his arm and stepped back. "Now, run. Sweat it out and be
ready for our next call."

Tuck
took off and ran. And ran. After four laps around the perimeter, he'd pushed
himself so hard he probably bordered on heat exhaustion. He stumbled to the
shower tent and stood under the lukewarm water until his body cooled enough to
ensure he wouldn’t pass out.

Big
Bird had been right. He'd been in a cross between raging funk and a shit hole
since Reaper had been medevaced out with a CCATT team and Delaney. Time for him
to get his head on straight and did what he'd trained to do. Kill the bad guys.

He
dried off and stepped into a pair of clean shorts, slipped on his flip-flops,
and shook the water out of his shaggy hair. He might even get a haircut. That
might make him feel more human, less like a slug.

With
his attitude adjusted, he stepped out of the shower tent and ran into Captain
Delaney O'Connell, nearly knocking her off her feet.

She
staggered backward until he caught her arm and dragged her against his chest.

"Tuck."
Her face blanched at first, then flushed.

"Delaney."
His fingers tightened around her arm, his mouth twitching, aching to claim
hers. A knot lodged in his gut.

Her
gaze shifted to his mouth and her pretty pink tongue darted out to wet her
lips.

He
wanted to taste where her tongue had been, to chew on that full lower lip, to
suck it into his mouth while his hand roved over her body.

She
wore a robe and he'd bet not much underneath, and his fingers itched to explore
and find out if her skin was really as soft as he remembered.

Tuck
dipped his head, his mouth angling toward hers. "I'd heard you were back."

She
tipped back her head, her eyes drifting to half-mast. "I missed you."

Before
his lips touched hers, he remembered. Tuck straightened, his hand falling to
his sides. "How's Cory?" He backed up several steps, afraid to be too
close in case he forgot himself again.