Sean (25 page)

As I headed to Corey’s
, I gave myself a little pep talk. I told myself to relax and have fun. One night out didn’t mean I was giving up on getting Brynn back. It just meant I was taking a much needed break.

A couple of beers and a few old friends later
, I was listening to my own advice and relaxing for the first time in months. Corey hadn’t introduced me to any girls and I was relieved.

“I actually dated someone over the summer,” I told him.

“You mean a real, live girl?” he teased.

“Yeah.” I nodded. “A smokin’ hot, real, live girl.” I took out my phone and pulled up a couple of my favorite pictures of Brynn.

“Shit, man, you ain’t kidding about the smokin’ hot part.” He passed it around to the other guys.

“Hey, isn’t that Brynn Crane?” one of them said. “Professor Crane’s daughter?”

I laughed. “No, her name’s Brynn McDonald.”

“No,” he said.
“I went to grade school and junior high with her. It’s definitely Brynn Crane, just older and thinner.”

My heart raced. I thought it was going to jump out of my chest.
No! It couldn’t be!
I grabbed my phone and excused myself to the bathroom. I vomited and sat on the side of the tub as I stared at Brynn’s picture. I was shaking as tears ran from my eyes.

“Hey, man, you okay?” Corey knocked on the door.

“Yeah, just not feeling so hot. I’m gonna take off in a minute. Thanks for having me.” I managed to say through the door. I tried to get control of my emotions. I was a wreck as I snuck from the bathroom and out the back door.

Chapter 16

I drove a block and pulled over. I thought of Professor Crane and all he’d done for me. All the years he and his wife had been good friends with my parents and all the respect and admiration I’d had for him. He’d helped me get into a prestigious college even after the trouble I’d been into during my dark years when I’d lost Gretchen. He’d been a mentor, someone who always believed in me, and a
much respected professor at another prestigious college. There was no way he could be Brynn’s father! There was no way he could’ve had a daughter I’d never known about or met. There was no way he was the kind of man Brynn talked about.

I pulled onto the road and sped
to my mom and dad’s house. All the way, I tried to make sense of it. I prayed that there was some sort of misunderstanding and that it wasn’t true. How could they possibly be the same man? It didn’t make any sense!

“Mom, I need to talk to you,” I said as I stormed through
the front door. Her eyes grew big as she saw my demeanor and she pulled out a chair.

“Sean, what’s wrong?” she asked softly.

“Joe and Frances, do they have any kids?”

“Yes. They have a daughter.” She looked at me oddly as my expr
ession went from hopeful to devastated. “But something happened to her a few years ago and they don’t stay in contact anymore. What’s this about, Sean?”

“What happened to her? Mom, this is serious. I need to know everything you know about her and what happened.” I knew Brynn hadn’t lied to me. I had to know what the hell was going on.

“Honey? Come in here,” she hollered to my Dad. He joined us and Mom caught him up on our conversation.

“Her name is, uh, Brynn, yes, Brynn,” he said. My heart dropped even further. “She made some poor choices, choices that put her and her family’s life in dange
r. Joe and Frances had no other options but to disown her and have her change her name. They couldn’t be held responsible for her troublesome ways. You know how people get when they find out you come from money. They had to protect themselves. She was a prostitute, son. She was hanging out on the streets and living in dangerous situations with bad people.”

“Did you ever meet her?” I had to know if they knew about the way Brynn had been treated at home.

“Um, once,” he said. “She was usually at some camp or private school function. Joe and Frances always made sure she had all the opportunities. It’s hard to believe she threw that all away. It’s a shame.”

“What about the time you met her?” I was desperate for some sort of truth.

“We went to their home for a party of some sort, right, hon?” He looked at my Mom, who nodded. “She came downstairs and got something out of the fridge. One of the staff saw her and panicked. She quickly marched her back upstairs. I guess it was a little odd, but I figured maybe she was supposed to be in bed or something.” He shrugged.

“How old was she?” I asked.

“Probably about twelve or thirteen. She was cute. A bit chubby, but cute.”

“She was a teen and she got ushered back upstairs to bed? Really?”
I was angry. I knew my parents thought the world of Joe and Frances, but I knew they weren’t seeing the real Cranes.

“What’s going on, Sean?” Mom asked.

“I met her.” I took a deep breath and sat up straight as I held my head high. “I’ve been dating her. She’s amazing. She wasn’t a prostitute; she was a virgin.”

“Was?” Mom’s eyes were big.

“Yes, was. She was also neglected by Joe and Frances. The staff was her family. She didn’t go to camp or prestigious private school functions. She was home and alone most of the time, even on holidays. She left when she turned eighteen with nothing but a duffel bag and the clothes on her back!” I was fired up with the facts as I knew them.

“Sean, you need to calm down
! We’ve known the Cranes for fifteen years. You’ve known Brynn for a few months, and from what we know of her past, do you really think everything she’s told you is true?” Dad said.

“No. I
know
it is.” Tears ran down my face as I defended my girl.

“Sean.” Mom took my hand. “
Your Dad and I are willing to sit and listen to the whole story before we rush to judge Brynn.” She gave my Dad ‘the look.’ “I’m going to make you some cocoa.” I smiled at her and nodded.

“Your Mom’s right,” Dad said when she left the room. “We’re here for you and will help get all of this straightened out.”

We talked, rang in the New Year, and talked some more. It was a comfort to be there with them, telling them everything I knew about Brynn and her past, reliving falling in love with her as they listened. It surprised them that I hadn’t mentioned Brynn before, but I explained that she was hesitant about meeting family too soon, and then the fact that I’d been in pause mode for a while after that. They were thrilled that I’d met someone and they could tell how much I loved her, but it was bittersweet for them, knowing there would need to be some sort of confrontation between Professor Crane and me. It didn’t matter whether Brynn and I had a relationship in the future or not. I was going to confront him and they knew it. I had to stand up for Brynn. I had to be the voice she’d never had. Someone to tell her parents how lucky they were to have her and how they were mistaken about what they believed she’d become.

I spent the night in my old room after staying up with my parents half the night. I fell asleep feeling warm and loved for the first time in a long time. All of the great times Brynn and I had had over the summer and into the fall had been replayed in my mind as I shared them with my parents. I’d been replaying the break-up for so long it was refreshing to
go back to the beginning again. I had the sweetest dreams about my girl that night.

Chapter 17

I stood tall as I rang the bell at the Cranes
’ mansion on Richmond Avenue. I knew the facts and I had nothing to hide. I smiled at the portly dark-haired woman who opened the door.

“Juanita?” I said. She looked surprised I’d called her by name.

“Yes. Can I help you?” she asked nervously.

“I’ve heard a lot of wonderful things about you from Brynn,” I whispered. “I’m here to see Professor Crane. I’m Sean Strauss,” I said with conviction.

“Yes, Mr. Strauss, Professor Crane is expecting you. Please, come in.” She spoke authoritatively, but still had a look of confusion on her face about hearing me speak of Brynn. I followed her through the vast foyer with the marble floors. I smiled as I thought of Brynn scuffing the floors with her Mom’s heels while she practiced her dancing.

When we reached the study
, Juanita announced me to Professor Crane, who was sitting at a massive oak desk in a high-back brown leather chair. He stood as he took off his reading glasses and dismissed Juanita.

“Sean.” He held out his hand to me. “Good to see you, son.” We shook and he gestured for me to sit. “I wish I could say I was surprised to hear from you, but I was going to suggest we get together myself.” That took me by complete surprise. I panicked for a moment
, thinking maybe my dad had spoken to him, although he promised he wouldn’t.

“Really? Why’s that?” I asked.

“Well, I’ve been made aware of your grades, and I have to say I’m a little disappointed in you. Your GPA last semester was considerably lower than what you’ve been pulling. That is what you’re here for, right?” What a smug asshole. He got reports about my grades? Why wasn’t I aware of that?

“No, Professor Crane, it’s not. I’m doing fine in school
, I assure you.”

“Anyone can do
fine
, Sean,” he said. “But you’ve always done exceptional. I write very few letters of recommendation to get kids like you into schools like that, so I’m sure you can understand my need to keep up on how you’re doing. I’d hate to be made a fool of for sticking my neck out for you like I did.” He was stern and insinuating that I would be an embarrassment to him if I slipped a bit? He offered to write the recommendation, and as much as I appreciated it, I wasn’t about to kneel down to him.

“My grades are not the reason I’m here, Professor Crane. I’m here on a much
more personal matter.” I had to change the subject before I told him to shove his letter up his ass.

“Oh?” He was taken aback. He leaned forward and gave me his attention. “Are your
parents all right?” He was suddenly the man I’d always known him to be, kind, caring, and easy to talk to.

“They’re fine,” I said. “I’m here to talk to you about Brynn.” He gasped as he pulled back in his chair. His face turned red before he spoke.

“I don’t know a
Brynn
,” he spat. His expression told me to watch myself.

“You don’t know a Brynn Crane? Brynn McDonald? Brynn who grew up here in this house with you and Frances? Brynn, your daughter?” I didn’t give a fuck whether he wanted me to watch myself or not
—I wasn’t leaving until I’d said my peace.

“She
is not
my daughter,” he said matter-of-factly. His face was still beet red.

“How can you say that? You may have disowned her, but
she’s still your family.” I raised my voice as my emotions spiked.

“Sean,” he said with an evil tone. “You’re way out of line here. You have no idea what you’re digging into.”

“Why don’t you explain it to me, then? Explain how you can turn your back on your own flesh and blood?” I stood and glared at him. He rose up out of his chair slowly as his eyes bore into me with disgust.

“She’s not my flesh and blood,” he growled through gritted teeth. “
She’s a product of lies, deceit, and betrayal.” His face was inches from mine when he heard me gasp. “That’s right! Her mother’s ultimate betrayal with a lowly member of our staff.” I was shocked, to say the least. A hundred things were running through my mind at once. I never, ever expected anything like that.

“Does Brynn know?” I asked as I took a step back.

“No. I did the right thing and raised her as my own. She had the best of everything. She never wanted for anything.” I regained the step and we were face to face again.

“What about love?” I yelled. “What about attention? You smug asshole! You’re going to stand here and pat yourself on the back by saying you did the right thing? No! Ignoring and neglecting a child is not doing the right thing! Throwing money around is not doing the right thing! Taking a child’s hopes and dreams
from them is not doing the right thing!” I was pissed and I wasn’t holding back.

“Who are you to come into my house and disrespect me? After all I’ve done for you and your family?”

“You wanna know who I am?” I backed up and threw my arms in the air. “I’m the man who’s in love with your daughter!” I screamed. His eyes grew big. “That’s right! I’m hopelessly, totally, completely in love with Brynn! She’s amazing, sweet, and innocent, not the street-walking prostitute you’ve tried to say she is. Did you ever really believe that? Or was it just an easy out for you to disown her and send her on her way?” I waited for the answer because I was curious if he ever even knew her at all.

“She was living on the streets and with prostitutes,” he
declared. “What would you think? Now, she’s a stripper. She’s an embarrassment, even after I’ve given her every opportunity to be someone!”

“Really? You
can’t seriously believe that! She grew up here, in this house, all her life. She never went on vacations or even up the mountain. Her family, the people who loved her, were your servants. When she found something she loved, like dancing, you ridiculed her and stomped on her dream. You gave her nothing!”

“I saved her from making a fool of herself in front of the entire school. Sometimes good parenting means telling your children the truth, even if it hurts them.” I couldn’t believe he was trying to make himself sound like a good parent.

“Well, then, you must’ve been father of the fucking year! She showed you, though, didn’t she?” He looked at me curiously. “It’s funny that you know my GPA but you don’t know your own daughter’s kicking serious ass playing the lead role in a big time theater production. I guess maybe it’s not so much funny as it is sad. It’s also sad that you don’t know how beautiful, sweet, generous, hard-working, talented and innocent she is. She’s everything that most parents would only dream their child would grow up to be and you’ve disowned her because your ego couldn’t get past the fact that her mother betrayed you. You should be ashamed of yourself! I’m ashamed to be associated with you!”

He sat in his chair and sighed. “I think it’s time you left,” he snarled.

“Gladly,” I said. “Oh, and Professor Crane?” He looked into my eyes. “Don’t worry. I love her enough for all of us.” I smiled triumphantly and slammed the door behind me on my way out.

Juanita quickly tip-toed up beside me as I approached the front door. “Tell Brynn I’m proud of her and I love her,” she whispered.

“Brynn hasn’t spoken to me in almost three months,” I told her. “But if I ever get the chance, I certainly will tell her.” I winked and smiled at her sad face.

I drove for hours after I left the Cranes. I was hurting for Brynn after finding out the man she’d thought was her father, wasn’t. How would she take it? Who was her real father an
d where was he? Did Brynn know him? How would she feel about being the product of her mother’s betrayal? I hoped she’d learn the truth someday. She deserved that, at least.

I pulled up to
the theater before I headed for home. I knew the show had ended and I thought maybe, just maybe, I could catch a glimpse of her leaving. I pulled around to the rear entrance and parked behind a dumpster. I knew it was immature and borderline stalkish, but I was desperate. I waited about half an hour before some of the cast members emerged from the doors. I scanned them as they headed in all different directions.

Then, a group of six came out together and I recognized her immediately, even at
such a distance. I actually heard her giggle through my open window and it made me close my eyes for a moment and smile. She was happy. One of the guys put his arm across her shoulders and she leaned into him. He kissed her on the forehead before she and the other girls hopped into a car and left. The guys got into a different car and went the opposite direction.
Hmm
. He must not be the
someone
she’d mentioned meeting. He looked more like a friend than a
someone
.

When I got home I made sugar cookies all by myself. I was fairly proud of them, too. I was filled with sweet memories of Brynn and I heard her giggle over and over
when I closed my eyes. I was happy that she was happy and I was also happy that I knew where I could see her, even if it was from a distance and for only a handful of seconds. I packaged up the cookies so I could share them the next day.

I dropped some off at Sashay for Angel, along with a small vase of yellow flowers. I didn’t put a note on them because she’d know who they were from. I dropped some off for Carl and I took
the rest to school and shared.

I’d started staying after school and studying in the library. I found it easier to concentrate there and I knew I had to buckle down in order to get my grades back to where I felt comfortable.
By the second week of February, I’d gotten a handle on it and was able to relax a bit.

Valentine’s Day was really a downer. I sent Brynn flowers and balloons at both the theater and Sashay. I knew they were probably overlooked but I couldn’t give up and I couldn’t stand the thought of not getting the woman I loved something for Valentine’s Day.
I handwrote on each of the cards.

Brynn,

I love you.

Sean.

I had dinner at the hotel and planned to catch a movie, but ended up just going home and watching one I’d seen countless times before. I fell asleep on the couch just before the break-up scene and had a dream that Brynn was knocking on my door.