Seasons (8 page)

After two weeks, Melanie has had it with my avoidance game. She shows up to see Brett before he heads back to college. It’s mid-June on a Saturday, Brett’s last night home. The four of us order pizza, talk about the end of our school years, and catch up. Brett excuses himself early to go pack for his departure in the morning.

“Well, girls, it’s been a slice. I have to be up at five a.m. to take Brett to the airport, so I think I’m going to head up to relax for a bit and get ready for bed. Goodnight,” Mom says putting an arm around each of us and kissing the tops of our heads.

Mel waits about thirty seconds after she’s gone to start her interrogation. “What gives? You have been avoiding everyone for two weeks! And seriously, I’m not just anyone. I know you better than you know yourself, so what is going on?”

I take a deep breath. Oh, God, I have to say it all out loud, which will make it real. “I’ve just had a lot on my mind since the party.”

“Uh, huh...”

“It’s probably nothing. I mean, Charlie was drunk, so he probably didn’t really mean it when he said he loved me.”

Melanie gasps and is rendered speechless. Melanie has never been speechless in as long as I’ve known her. “What exactly did he say?” she whispers.

“He was drunk. I’m sure it was the booze. I was putting him to bed and he woke up. He apologized for being so drunk. Then, he reached up and touched my cheek and said I was beautiful and he was in love with me.”

Melanie lets out a slow sigh.

“Well? What do you think? He was just drunk, right? I mean, people don’t mean things they say when they’re that far gone?” I ask hopefully.

Mel squishes up her face. “Actually, I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but I think people say things when they’re drunk that they’re too afraid to say when they’re sober. How do you feel about him?”

“I don’t know. It’s messy. He’s a good friend. I don’t want to lose that.”

“Brynn, stop. You are smart, and you analyze and weigh the pros and cons of everything you do! But some decisions shouldn’t be made with your head. Some decisions, your heart has to make.”

“Maybe he doesn’t even remember. He hasn’t said anything when he has texted me.”

“Well, I guess we’ll find out tonight.” Melanie smiles so bright I think she’s going to burst.

“Tonight? No, I’m...” Shit, I have absolutely no excuse and she knows it.
Dammit
.

“Go get dressed. We’re going to a bonfire!” Mel exclaims in victory.
Shit
.

*   *   *

It is a cool night, so I throw on some skinny jeans, a white, long sleeve tee with buttons half way down the front to show a little, but not too much boob. I run my hands through my hair to detangle my waves and run some mascara and lip-gloss across my lashes and lips. I jog downstairs to a waiting Mel and throw my all-white chucks on. Usually, I would skip the makeup revision for a bonfire, but I feel the need to look my best tonight for some reason.

We drive to the shore and head toward Pine Beach. The football players have bonfires here all the time. It’s a vacant beach, and it’s also away from the residential areas so they can party loud without disturbing anyone. It’s also convenient, because you can drive right up to the beach, so there is music coming from one of the two cars parked next to us. When we park and walk out toward the fire, I see this bonfire is a four-person party tonight. Great, only Austin and Charlie are lounging on the beach near the pit. This shouldn’t be completely awkward at all—right.

When we get closer, Mel leans over to me, and whispers, “Let your heart do the thinking for once.”

We say hi to the guys and have a seat by the fire. “It’s chilly out tonight,” I say breaking the awkward silence that is suffocating me.

“Do you want a sweater? I have one in the car,” Charlie offers.

“Nah, I’m good. The fire is cozy.”

He sighs seeming relieved and smiles his amazing dimpled smile. I didn’t even realize how much I had missed his smile. I would do anything to see that smile instead of the tortured look I had seen in his features the last time I saw him. Melanie and Austin are chatting it up, and Charlie and I stare into the fire for a bit before he starts up a conversation.

“So, your brother was home from school?”

Mesmerized by the fire, I respond without looking up. “Yeah, he leaves to go back in the morning.”

“I saw him at a party last weekend. A lot of the guys were home from school the past week. It was good to hang out with everyone again.”

“Yeah, it was nice having him home. It’s been just Mom and me for the past year. It was good having someone else in the house, and the three of us spent a lot of time together.” I smile remembering all the teasing Brett and I hauled at Mom the past two weeks, all in good fun.

I look over at Charlie and he’s looking at me with the most serious face. “What? Do I have something on my face or something?” I ask self-conscious.

He chuckles. “No. Do you want to walk down the beach? When you get away from the light of the fire, you can see all the stars. It’s a pretty amazing view.”

“Oh, sure,” I say getting up to follow him.

We walk down the beach a bit, and I notice the music coming from the car has gone from upbeat to more relaxed ballads. We walk until we can still hear the music, but the light from the fire is dim. Charlie stops and has a seat in the sand. I sit close enough to feel his presence, but not actually touching.

He looks up at the stars and points. “See? They’re so pretty out here. You can see all the constellations.”

I smile over at him biting my lip, and then I look up where he’s pointing. “It’s absolutely breathtaking,” I sigh. I lay back resting my head on my arms like a pillow and crossing my legs at the ankle. A second later, he lies back, too.

“Brynn…I wanted to apologize for the night of the party.”

“Don’t, Charlie. It’s fine. Hey, at least you didn’t puke on my shoes.” I can laugh about it now. “Or my car, for that matter.”

“I know, but I mean about the things I said. I mean, I’m not sorry I said them, I just…” he breaks off and stares at the sky for a beat before he turns to me. “I don’t want anything you don’t want, Brynn. We are good friends. I enjoy spending time together, and I don’t want to do anything to jeopardize it. I just hope I didn’t ruin our friendship. I don’t want to lose you.” He sounds so vulnerable, not at all like the confident Charlie everyone else sees.

“Hey, you didn’t ruin anything. I promise…pinky promise even.” I put out my pinky and laugh. He laughs and locks his pinky with mine and shakes on it. Something about him brings out my playful side. Usuallly, I’m so self-contained and serious, but with him, I can just be me—goofy and fun. We stop laughing, suddenly caught in a locked gaze. He brushes a stray hair out of my eyes and I release my breath He has barely brushed against me the times he has touched me, but it feels like comfort—like he’s home. This is the only way I can explain it. He’s a safe place for me, similar to the feeling I get at the cliff.

He breaks our eye contact and looks down a few inches to my lips. I bite my lip out of habit and if I’m being totally honest, part of me is flirting. He rolls back to his back and covers his face with his arms. What did I do? Then he hops up and offers me his hand. I take it and get to my feet brushing the sand off with my free hand.

“Dance?”

“Huh?”

“It is a gorgeous night, and there is music playing down the beach. Brynn Carsten, will you dance with me?”

“Hm...I suppose that could be arranged.” I laugh as he pulls me into his embrace. He pushes me away spinning me before bringing me back. The song changes then and I can hear ‘Everything I Do’ by Bryan Adams playing softly. Halfway through the song, Charlie stops us dead in our tracks. He pulls my chin up so I’m looking at him, still in his arms. I gaze up at him questioningly, waiting for him to say something, but instead, he crushes his lips to mine. I kiss him back and it’s the kiss of a lifetime. His lips are full, soft, and perfect. He kisses me just short of harsh at first, like he’s a drowning man who needs a life preserver and I’m it. He devours me before softening the kiss. I don’t know when, but at some point, I put my hands in his hair, deepening the kiss. It feels amazing, it feels…right.

I’m brought back to earth when he suddenly pulls away and stares into my eyes as if he’s searching for something. I’m not sure if this is what he’s looking for, but I kiss him again. When we pull apart, he’s smiling. I smile back and touch my burning lips. I’m pretty sure I could kiss him for the rest of my life and be happy. The sound of clapping from afar snaps me back to reality. It’s followed up by hooting and hollering coming from Melanie and Austin. Shit. Charlie just chuckles and takes my hand, pulling me farther away from the fire.

“Charlie, I don’t want this to ruin what we have. Our friendship has become important to me. I don’t want to lose you,” I ramble.

“Whoa, Brynn. Look at me.” I look into his eyes and he says slowly as if talking to a child, “You aren’t going to lose me, okay? I know this has been pretty quick, but I have never felt like this about a girl before. The past two weeks of not seeing you, were awful. I thought I had blown our friendship with everything I said when I was drunk. I want this. I want you, but if all you want is to be friends, then I’ll take it. I may have been drunk after the party, but I meant everything I said, Brynn.” He pauses, moving another piece of hair before continuing, “I love you, Brynn Carsten. And I will be your boyfriend, your friend, or your butler if it means you are still in my life, okay? I’m not going anywhere.”

“I love you too, Charlie.” I don’t know where it came from, but it explodes from me, falling out of my mouth naturally. It’s the first time I’ve said it to a guy, and I mean it with every piece of my being. I have no idea when or how it even happened. It’s as if he slowly wiggled his way into my physical being and wrapped himself around my heart like a blanket. Being with him feels right. The only way it can be explained is he feels like home.

A look of shock, quickly replaced by the most amazing dimple display I have ever seen takes hold of Charlie’s face, right before he gives me the second best kiss of my life. Which is quickly followed up by the third, fourth, and fifth best kisses, and so on. We spend the night under the stars on the beach talking, kissing, holding hands, and kissing some more. We make it back by the fire at some point and fall asleep in each other’s arms.

That was all it took. We went from just friends to everything with only a few words. I had never had anything like this before. Truth be told, after watching what happened with my parents, I didn’t really believe love like this truly existed. I had dated, but that was all, just dated. I was terrified to give my heart to Charlie. The truth was I never stood a chance. He stole it with that first dimpled smile he threw in my direction. He worked to prove himself since then, and I loved and trusted him with my whole, wide-open heart. After that night, we were together every free moment we had. The summer passed in a flash of swimming, fishing, carnivals, and bonfires with our friends.

*   *   *

Two months later, the storm door slams behind me as I run out of the house and down the porch steps when I hear his truck pulling into the driveway. Charlie is just getting out of the truck when I leap at him throwing my arms around his neck and wrapping my legs around his waist. He catches me, keeping us from falling, and I kiss him like he’s a soldier just coming home from war. In reality, I haven’t seen him in about twenty-four hours. He slowly lowers me down his body, back to the ground, and smirks at me. “Miss me?” he teases.

“Nope, that’s how I say hello to everyone now,” I tease back.

“Better not be,” he says in mock sternness and then swats my bottom. “You have all your stuff packed?”

“Yep, I’ll be right back,” I reply before running inside to grab my bag and to say goodbye to Mom. We are going camping for the weekend with a big group of friends, sort of a last hoorah before a lot of the gang goes off to college in a week. Melanie is riding with Austin, and some of the others are meeting us at the campground. She and Austin have been pretty hot and heavy all summer, but she says it’s just an amazing booty call that will end when he goes off to school. I’m not sure I believe that, but I go with it anyway. I’m just glad to be able to spend a lot of time with my best friend since she’s seeing one of Charlie’s closest friends.

I throw my bag in the back of the pick-up with all the gear for the trip. I hop onto the passenger seat. Before I can turn and pull my legs into the truck, Charlie sneaks in between them. I spread my thighs apart enough to allow him in. He’s at eye level with all of our parts perfectly aligned since I’m sitting high up on the truck seat. Charlie presses his full body against me. He gives me the gentlest kiss briefly before turning, leaving me wanting more, when he goes to get in the truck. I sigh, pull my legs in, and close the door before we reverse out of the driveway.

The drive to the campgrounds takes about an hour. When we pull into the facilities, we’re driving through some of the most gorgeous scenery I have ever seen. We take a winding road to our campsite. Our group has paid for two campsites next to each other. Two tents are allotted per site. The rest of the group is already there when we arrive, and Austin and Melanie look like they are attempting to erect their tent while screaming at each other as we get out of the truck.