Seasons of Tomorrow (25 page)

Samuel stared at the floor. “Phoebe also has pneumonia.”

Iva sat quietly, but Leah remained standing, longing to throw things and scream until this problem with Phoebe went away.

“Samuel,”—Iva angled her head—“I know pneumonia is really bad, especially for a pregnant woman, but they have antibiotics to help, right?”

“It’s viral pneumonia. There is nothing to do for a virus but let it run its course. The doctor explained that it’s like having a really bad head cold, one where you need to blow your nose a half-dozen times in an hour, but in her case all the congestion is filling her lungs.”

Leah’s knees threatened to give way. “Samuel.” She couldn’t catch her breath, and when he moved to hold her, she didn’t back away. “Why Phoebe? She honors God with every move she makes. She works hard, never raises her voice or complains.” And she loved Steven and her children with a purity Leah had never known. Her mind jumped. “Jacob. He needs to know.”

“I’ve tried to call him.” Samuel’s shoulders slumped a bit. “I haven’t had any luck getting hold of him in a long time, but I left him a message. Hopefully he’ll listen to it.”

Leah fully met her brother’s gaze for the first time in weeks—for the first time since he’d let Landon walk out of here. “We’ll get through this.”

“Ya. We will.”

But Leah knew that neither of them believed what they’d said. They only hoped.

“Iva, I’ll distract the children so they aren’t hearing the bad news time and again. You should tell Crist.” Samuel started for the door and paused. “Leah, you coming?”

Her mind and heart raced.
Jacob
. “In a minute.”

They left, and she snatched the cell phone out of her pocket, flipped through her small contact list, and typed in a text message to Jacob:
This is Leah. SOS! Now!
She hit send, praying he’d answer. Her phone rang before she finished her prayer, and the name Jacob came across the screen. Had he even had time to get or read her message?

“Jacob?”

“I’m here. What’s going on?” His voice was filled with concern and the brotherly affection she so missed from him. She nearly burst into tears as she launched into clusters of explanations and fears. She fumbled through some of the events since he’d left, realizing just how long he’d been out of contact. Still, he listened, never once venturing a question or needing additional information to piece together what all had happened.

“So who’s left to work the orchard?”

She grimaced at her next words. “With Steven, Landon, and you gone? The only man left is Samuel. Crist helps a day or two a week.” When she wasn’t busy pulling him and Iva to go with her on outings. Leah had been nearly useless since Landon had left, but no one had corrected her. “We need you now more than ever.”

He was silent. Had he hung up? She frowned and looked at the phone for hints of what was going on.

“Okay …” He finally said what she had been silently and desperately hoping he would say. “I’ll head for Maine in a few days.”

“Jacob … denki.”

“It’s fine.” He didn’t sound like it was, but he’d agreed to come, and that was the most important thing.

They said their good-byes and hung up. When she exited the barn, she stopped and gazed at the orchard. She’d grown up seeing an orchard every day. That orchard represented what the Kings always stood for: hope.

Perhaps it was time for Leah to embrace hope like that too—a hope that didn’t look at what was but what could be through prayer, work, and patience.

TWENTY

Jacob pushed the swing, and Casey gave a delighted squeal. Was he really heading back to the farm later today? He wanted Phoebe well, but, man, everything in him rebelled against the idea of returning.

Casey giggled. “Higher!”

“To the moon, little one.” Jacob responded as if there weren’t a miserable weight sitting on his chest.

If Esther had been who she’d pretended to be, he might consider calling her. He certainly needed to talk about having to return to the farm and what was happening with Phoebe. But he wasn’t so desperate for a friend that she could lie to him and he’d come back for more. Besides, friendships weren’t really all that important. He knew lots of men who had no real friendships, only coworkers. What was so bad about that?

He took a deep breath of the crisp spring air.

Sandra sat in a lounge chair nearby, watching Casey and sipping on hot tea. She caught Jacob’s eye and smiled. Her regimen of meds seemed to be working well, and she had a steady job as a receptionist at a medical office. When Casey started preschool this fall, Sandra was going to enroll in classes to get certified in medical billing and coding. If she passed, she’d almost double her current hourly wage. Moreover, it’d be a good boost to her morale.

At least he’d done one thing right lately. Sandra had needed this extended visit. While he was working on the play set, she had spent time outside helping him and had met several neighbors.

How different the past two weeks had been, him meeting neighbors and being able to hold conversations with them without fearing they’d learn his secrets. But as long ago as his secretive days felt, they’d been behind him for just a little more than a year.

Jacob continued pushing Casey.

“Jacob, I want down now!”

Jacob didn’t flinch. “Casey, doodlebug, I want to be asked nicely.”

“Mom!” Casey yelled.

Jacob held up his index finger, telling Sandra to stay where she was. He pushed the swing again. “If you’re too tired to be nice, you can go inside and sit. No toys, no television.”

Casey didn’t say anything while Jacob continued to push her. She finally glanced over her shoulder. “Dear Uncle Jacob, would you help me stop swinging now, please?”

Okay, so it was overkill laced with teasing, but he slowed the swing. “Why, yes, little doodlebug.”

Despite having referred to him as
dad
, according to Sandra’s text message, Casey was now calling Jacob
uncle
, thanks to Sandra’s prompting. Casey managed to say the word
uncle
only some of the time, but the title had been necessary as he and Sandra met her neighbors. Everyone used a specific connection when introducing one another: spouse, partner, roommate, son, daughter, or, in his case, uncle.

Visitor. Stranger
. Those were the words that described him to the people he lived with when moving from one Amish community to the next to work. But he enjoyed going up and down the East Coast, even when traveling by bus and train. Where others found it exhausting, he found it invigorating.

Casey jumped down from the swing. “Thanks!”

“Hey,” Jacob called as she ran toward the ladder he’d built to a raised walkway with rails. “We have to go in five minutes.”

She held up her hand, splaying her five fingers. “Got it.”

He moved to the chair next to Sandra and sat. Regardless of how he usually felt about traveling, he wasn’t looking forward to the bus ride to Orchard Bend Farms. If it wasn’t for what had befallen Phoebe, he wouldn’t be going back.

She is going to get better, isn’t she, God?

Sandra put her hand over his. “You’ve been quiet this visit.”

He shrugged. “Just thinking.” He wanted to ask, what is it about me that makes women lie? But Sandra had lied to him longer than anyone, so
he couldn’t ask her. He wasn’t sure whether Rhoda had lied to him or to herself until the truth of her love for Samuel was too strong for Jacob or Rhoda to deny.

Sandra watched Casey, smiling the way she used to when Jacob had first met her. “If you weren’t leaving,
this
would be a perfect day.”

“May first, and it is a beauty.” All except the black cloud of reuniting with Samuel and Rhoda. “You ready?”

“As ready as I get when you leave.” She stood. “I wish we lived closer to you.”

“That would be easier to do if I actually lived somewhere.” He called to Casey, giving her a one-minute reminder. She did best when she received ample notice. After the three of them ate out, Sandra would take him to the bus station. At the end of the bus trip, a driver would pick him up, although he didn’t know who, and take him to the farm.

“Where would you like to have that late lunch we talked about?”

She frowned. “I miss you already.”

“Neither of us likes me having to leave this time.”

Sandra drove them to a restaurant. As they ate and she took him to the bus stop, Jacob soaked in his last hours with Casey. Actually, now that Sandra was more stable, he enjoyed her too, which was a welcome relief.

Once at the bus station, he lifted Casey into his arms. “You be good for your mama.”

She put her arms around his neck and held tight. “You be good too.”

He passed her to Sandra. “Bye.”

Sandra waved, and Casey followed suit. They continued standing outside, waving as he rode off. The bus ride would take only three hours. Could he have himself emotionally ready to see Samuel or Rhoda by then? He rocked back, wishing he could slow his mind and heart enough to doze off.

What had him so edgy about returning, anyway? It wasn’t as if he still loved Rhoda. He wasn’t afraid that seeing her would rekindle old feelings—unless those feelings included fresh disappointment and anger.

When the bus pulled up to his stop, it felt as if the trip had taken only
a few minutes. He grabbed his travel bag and stepped off the bus. Camilla stood on the sidewalk, waiting for him.

Great
. They’d sent a driver who loved Rhoda and thought Samuel had hung the moon. Couldn’t they have asked Erlene to come? She at least seemed neutral in the great divide between Samuel and Rhoda and him. Camilla and her husband had even invited Rhoda and Samuel to their home one night and excluded Jacob.

Was he seeing the situation wrong? Man, he needed someone to talk to. “Hi, Camilla.”

“Jacob, you’re looking as robust as ever.” She smiled before turning the other direction and leading the way to her car.

He tossed his traveling bag into the backseat and got in. They made small talk as Camilla drove the winding roads, each of them seeming determined to keep the conversation going.

Jacob fidgeted with the door handle. “Any updates on Phoebe?”

“Not that I know of. I drove her parents and Steven’s to the farm Sunday. I sort of expected you then too.”

“I was in the middle of a project I couldn’t drop.” He’d made too many promises to Casey about them building the play set to leave without finishing it. She’d gone with him to buy the wood, and she had been so excited throughout each step.

Camilla nodded, and they fell into talk about the weather. It was dusk by the time she dropped him off at the farm. He simply stood in the yard, staring at the house.

Leah eased out the door, moving as cautiously and respectfully as one did at a funeral. Her eyes met his, and he ached for his little sister. Making sense of life, especially as an Amish woman, was never easy.

“Hi.” She stopped in front of him, staring straight ahead at the third button on his shirt.

Had he expected more of a welcome from her? He’d walked away and not stayed in contact, and he of all people understood there was a price to pay for that. His thoughts jumped to Esther. There wouldn’t be a price
where she was concerned. Unlike his family, she wasn’t a person he would need to reconnect with again. So why was he even thinking about her?

Like a hundred times before, Jacob did his best to push Esther out of his mind. “Leah, I’m so sorry.” There was so much to express sorrow for—Landon, Leah, Phoebe, Steven, and their children. He saw it in her eyes—confusion, loneliness, and turmoil.

She nodded. “It’s ridiculous.” Her eyes misted. “I feel so many things that I think I’m going to burst. I’m so scared for Phoebe and her unborn child. I hurt for Rhoda because she loves Phoebe so much, and yet when it comes to Landon, I’m so angry with her I can’t stand it. She never liked me seeing him, and once Daed added pressure, she did nothing to defend Landon or me or to keep either of us on this farm.”

He looked at the house. There were too many emotions to sort everything out right now, but a couple of thoughts were clear. “Well, I guess you and I can vent to and console each other during all this. But you’re angry with Rhoda for being cautious and unsure about an Amish girl giving up everything to try to fit into an Englisch man’s world? Didn’t you feel the same way at times?”

“I deserved her support!”

The last thing he wanted was to defend Rhoda, but reason demanded he look past his own emotions. Back when he’d thought it was impossible to find peace with God and himself, Rhoda had been the only one who could see the roadblocks for what they were. She’d stood with him and never once stopped believing in him and wanting what was best for him.

Jacob opened his arms, and Leah slid into them. “At the risk of sounding as if I’m not mad at her, I know she believes in and supports you as a person, and Landon too. But maybe she’s just as confused and unsure of what’s right concerning your relationship as you and Landon have been at times.”

Leah backed away. “Boy, do you have a lot to learn about holding a grudge.”