Seattle Girl (13 page)

Who knew being bad could feel so good?

As everyone came back onto the dance floor after the contest, Steve took me off to one of the couches in the corner of the club.

“I’ve always wanted to have two women in my bed at the same time.”

I forcibly tamped down on the voice in my head that was saying,
Two women? Why would he possibly think that I would think that was sexy?

“You’ll have to be happy with just one tonight,” I said, in the most alluring way I possibly could, all the while hoping that I was making it perfectly clear that I was
not
going to partake in any threesomes with him, no matter how much he begged.

He pulled me onto his lap and ran his thumb over my lips, saying, “You have such amazing lips.”

He was driving me crazy with his thumb. I wanted to suck the whole thing into my mouth to see if it tasted as good as it looked. Right when I was about to, he kissed me so gently that I wasn’t sure it had happened at all. I wanted to straddle him and stick my tongue all the way down his throat like I had seen in a porn Diane and I rented once to see what they were like. At the time I thought the whole thing was really gross and perverted, but now I wanted to try out everything we saw with Steve.

Except for the threesome part, of course.

This time I planted my lips on his. I tasted him with my tongue, darting to one corner and then the next. His lips tasted like salt and lime and tequila. I couldn’t get enough of him.

Pressed against each other, our lips just a breath apart, I looked up into his eyes. I was unable to resist the sensual pull he had over me. He pulled me into him and bent his head down, lowering his full, masculine lips down to mine.

I felt his breath on my lips, and then the soft, alluring pressure of his warm skin against my mouth, already swollen in anticipation of his touch.

The kiss was sweet and sexy and the most powerful sexual experience I had ever had in my life. I slid my tongue into his mouth, wanting to know his taste, wanting to devour him.

He groaned as my tongue slipped into his mouth, and he deepened the kiss, pulling me even closer to him. We made out in the corner for what must have been an hour. If he had tried to take me right then and there I honestly don’t think I would have protested. Fortunately, he seemed to have enough wits about him to move us on to a more appropriate venue.

“Why don’t we go to my place?”

I nodded yes, got off of his lap and reached my hand down to help him stand up.

“Give me just a minute, okay?” He fiddled with his pants to hide his erection.

Suddenly standing there, watching him, seeing all of the strangers dancing and drinking all around us, I felt sort of embarrassed. Had we really been making out in public for the past hour? It felt funny, somehow.

But as I thought more about it, I changed my mind. Here, tonight at Harrah’s, I had become an amazing new woman. This was no frat boy I had here. This was an almost famous DJ and I was going to go to his place to lose my virginity. I felt bigger and more important than when we walked into the room earlier that night.

The girl me had walked in.

The practically-a-woman me was walking out.

* * *

We left my car in the garage and as we drove the mile to his apartment, Steve kept rubbing his hand on my thigh. It was driving me crazy and I almost asked him to pull over so that I could attack him in the car. Somehow I kept a lid on it, and we pulled into his parking garage.

He put the car into park, pulled out the keys and reached for me. After several more minutes of making out against the steering wheel, he whispered, “Let’s go upstairs, baby.”

We got out of the car and he grabbed my hand, pulling me up the stairs to his apartment. As he fiddled with the key in the lock he leaned me against the door and pinned me there with his body, showering my neck and shoulders with erotic little kisses.

The door opened behind me and, just like Fred and Ginger would have done it, we waltzed into his apartment without breaking our full body contact. He leaned in to capture my mouth in another sweet kiss that had me reeling.

A part of me was still scared—after all, I was going to lose my virginity tonight and suddenly it felt like an even bigger step than I had thought it would be—but my body was screaming at me to go for it.

Steve braided his fingers through my hair and I instinctively leaned closer. My tongue swept into his mouth and he growled deep in his throat.

As one we slid to our knees on the plush carpet between the door and his living room. I let my hands travel up his arms, to his shoulders, and I reveled in the play of muscles in his back as I ran my fingers lightly over his shirt. I slipped my hands into his hair and it was so soft, softer than I had ever imagined it would be.

“I want you so much, Georgia,” Steve whispered into my hair as he ran kisses along my cheekbone. He took my earlobe between his teeth and I shuddered, powerfully aware of a building heat between my legs.

“I’ve never felt-” I began to say in a breathy, surprised voice, but before I could finish my sentence, Steve had recaptured my lips in a passionate kiss. Wrapping his hands around my butt, he pushed my hips against his.

I felt the unmistakable pressure of his arousal burning into me. Why were there so many god damn layers of clothes between us?
 
The thought of being skin to skin with Steve made my nipples pucker beneath the thin fabric of my dress.

And then Steve’s right hand began to move up my ribcage, stopping directly below my breasts. I moaned, “Steve, touch me,” no longer coherent. All I knew was that I wanted, no, needed him to touch my breasts.

His palm came up to cup me through my dress, branding me with his heat, and he bent his head down to kiss the skin that swelled above the top of my dress.

As he started to remove his clothes I was acutely aware of the fact that I had never actually seen a naked man in person before. Oh crap. What was I doing in this apartment? I was practically naked in some guy’s bed that I hardly knew, for god’s sake.

Much to my chagrin, in the moment I had to admit to myself that I was still Georgia Fulton, the girl. It was painfully clear that the woman was still a ways off in the distance.

So in this fit of nerves I admitted the truth to him. “You’re going to be my first.”

Steve looked like a deer caught in the headlights. It wasn’t his best look.

“Excuse me?” he said, his tone downright glacial.

I tried to smile, but my lips were trembling in the middle so I gave up. “Did I forget to mention that I’m a virgin?”

I knew my attempt at humor was pretty lame, but I couldn’t think of anything else given the suddenly awkward situation.

My declaration put an immediate damper on things. I’ve never seen anyone move quite as fast as Steve did. He practically threw himself off me and over to the other side of the room. I just lay on his bed, stunned, trying to process what had just happened.

Let me tell you, I was totally insulted by his rejection and quickly reformulated my pee-in-his-coffee-on-Monday plan. With as much dignity as I could muster in the bedroom of a guy who was scurrying to get away from me as fast as he could, I got up out of the bed, slipped on my sandals and started to walk out the door.

When I walked back into his living room, he gruffly said, “I’ll drive you to your car.”

I wanted to ask him what his problem was. But before I could even start to ask him any questions he had hustled me into his car, sped down the road and we were in the casino parking lot. He barely slowed down enough for me to get out of the passenger seat and then almost crashed as he left the parking lot in a mad rush.

I watched him speed off in a daze. Considering how well the night had gone up until a few minutes ago, I was pretty shocked at the turn things had taken.

Oh well. So much for becoming a woman with Steve Jacobs tonight.

My wild and crazy night of sex was a bust.

* * *

Diane was still up when I got home watching a Marilyn Monroe documentary on cable. “Tell me everything,” she said, clearly dying to hear all of the scrumptious details.

“There’s not much to tell. We were having a really great time making out in his apartment when I told him that I was a virgin and he freaked out. Date over.”

“What?” She stared at me in utter disbelief. “I thought it was every guy’s dream to do a virgin. This is totally weird. There’s got to be something else going on here. I mean, you’re a babe!” Diane sounded like she was trying to solve a perplexing mystery. I knew she was as thrown as I was. “Who wouldn’t want the honor of deflowering you? Oh no!”

She picked up the hem of my dress and tried to look underneath, as if she had just figured out what the problem was. “You weren’t wearing huge, white utilitarian underwear, were you?”

I batted her hands away. “You know I threw out all of that old underwear years ago,” I muttered.

Needless to say, I wasn’t in the mood to talk about the evening with Diane. I just wanted to crawl under the covers and try to pretend the whole embarrassing bedroom scene with Steve had never happened. I mean, how many rejections can you possibly blame on the guy being gay?
 

I had already used that excuse more than once, and frankly it was getting old.

To make matters worse, as I headed for my bedroom, Diane said, “There’s a message for you on the machine.”

My dad’s voice boomed through our apartment. “Hi honey, it’s your dad. Uh, I mean this is Georgia’s father. Hello Diane, how are you?”

His phone messages always started the same. Then there was an awkward pause where he cleared his throat several times.

“Georgia, honey, could you call your mother on Sunday?” He lowered his voice and added, “I think she’s still a little down about our (more throat clearing) discussion. About your internship,” he added, as if I need more clarification, when I still had a vivid memory of my mom storming out the room after making it plain and clear what an utter disappointment I was. “Maybe a trip to the mall with her would be nice?” he suggested in a hopeful voice. “Well, that’s it, honey. I hope everything is going well with your new job.”

I hit the delete button and rubbed my hands over my face. I couldn’t believe that I was actually going to have to face my mother less than twenty-four hours after the night I’d just had. Without bothering to even brush my teeth, I crawled under the covers.

Right when everything seemed to be going so good, why did it have to go and get so bad?

* * *

Dutiful daughter that I am, I called my mother the next morning and she grudgingly agreed to meet me at the mall at 1 p.m. Even though she was trying to disguise it, I could tell she was happy to hear from me, though, just from the tone of her voice.

A daughter’s intuition.

Unfortunately, our impending meeting, meant that I had to figure out how to present the “new and improved” Georgia Fulton to her. Frankly, I really didn’t feel up to it at the moment. Diane was already at the gym burning her requisite ten thousand calories on the Stair Climber, so I called Seth and asked him to come and help me pick out something to wear.

“I don’t want her to think I did all this for her, but-”

“You want her to be blown away anyway, right?”

“Exactly,” I said, trying to rub the headache away that had hit right when Steve told me to put my clothes back on between clenched teeth.

“You’re not getting all upset about hanging out with your mom, are you?”

“No. I’m not exactly looking forward to it, but it’s not that.”

“So then, what’s wrong?” he asked, taking over my neck massage. “You’re not the usual loud-mouth that I know and love.”

“Yeah, I know,” I answered glumly, even as I backed myself into the pressure of his fingers. “Damn, that feels good. Don’t stop.”

“Anything to do with that DJ you went out with?”

“Everything to do with it.”

He waited silently for me to spill it.

“I guess I’m not really sure how to deal with rejection. When he found out I was a virgin, he ran screaming. It was really humiliating.”

Seth looked momentarily uncomfortable, like he had something sour in his mouth, but he was afraid to spit it out. “Look girl, I don’t want to rail on your choice of bed-partners, especially since it was my big idea that the three of us needed to lose our virgin status, but I’ve got to tell you, after listening to his show a few times, I’d let this one go if I were you. I’m thinking he’s got some pretty big issues.”

“Big issues,” I echoed hollowly. “If so, he’s not the only one, huh?”

Seth ignored my comment. “Not to be a total bitch or anything, Georgia, but have you ever noticed how frequently he says ‘baby’ on his show in the morning? I mean, what decade is he stuck in?”

I had always taken really careful notice of the words that people used. Words and vocabulary were a special identifier in my world for whether or not you were nice, smart, funny, or worthless. I had noticed it, but it hadn't really bothered me. Until now.

After telling Seth this, he said, “That’s pretty weird, considering you’re usually the language police. If you ask me, it’s all for the best. You can do so much better than him.”

“I don’t know about that.”

“I do,” he said, giving my neck one final tweak. “Feel better yet?”

I didn’t know if he was talking about my headache or my heartache, but the funny thing was, now that Seth had pointed out those couple of irritating things about Steve, I did feel a little better.

“Now,” he said, opening my closet doors, “let’s give your mom a good show.”

As he gave me various outfits to try on, I decided to tackle another difficult subject. “So, given any more thought to telling your parents about being G-A-Y?”

“Not really,” he mumbled.

“It’s gonna eat you up if you don’t,” I said, feeling like a hypocrite for telling Seth to be brave, when I felt like a lily-livered little girl.

“Do we have to talk about this right now?” he said, his tone more than a little testy.

“No, sorry. I just thought that-”

“I know what you thought, Georgia
 
,” he said, cutting me off. “It’s just not that easy, okay.”