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Authors: L. Divine

BOOK: Second Chance
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“You're not that bad off, are you?” I ask, realizing I don't know much about Jeremy's past at all. Maybe he's been in this kind of trouble before and this is the last straw. What then? Damn, I hope those cupcakes kick in soon.
“Nah, not at all. My mom just thinks the sins of the older brothers shall fall upon the younger one,” he says. “Besides, I'm not scared. This is just what I need,” he says, pulling me up into his arms. We lie there, holding each other while looking at the day begin to fade. Unfortunately, it's time for both of us to go home.
 
When Jeremy drops me off at the bus stop in front of Miracle Market, Bryan's just getting off work. As usual, he's got his backpack on his shoulder and a spliff behind his ear.
“What's up, little J,” he says, putting his arms around my shoulders, slightly knocking me off balance.
“What's up is you smell like pickles and pig's feet. What the hell,” I exclaim, pushing him off me and into the street. His stench is messing up my Jeremy high.
“Damn, girl. I see why you can't keep no man; you're too mean,” he says, falling back into step with me on the sidewalk.
“Well, you can ask Jeremy about that one,” I say, claiming my new love. Nothing's going to keep us from making this new relationship as solid as gold. Nothing.
“Ooh, Jeremy. Did the White boy win?” Bryan says. KJ and Bryan play ball at Compton High together sometimes, and I know brothas can get to talking.
“Yes, if there was ever any real competition,” I say.
“Are you sure you're over the brotha?” Bryan asks. “KJ's cool. Don't be so quick to cut him loose, Jayd.”
“So quick? He cheated on me, Bryan. I didn't cut anybody loose. He let himself go.” Why do dogs always stick together?
“Why you getting so snappy? I'm just saying niggas make mistakes, that's all. Besides, what do you really know about this Jeremy dude, other than he's White and a drug dealer?” he asks, waiting for my response.
“KJ told you about that?” I ask, not knowing why I'm so surprised. “It's not as bad as it sounds,” I say.
“Damn, Jayd, you can't be that naïve. Everybody at South Bay knew but you, apparently,” he says, making me feel like a little kid. He's right. I can be very naïve sometimes. But, not about Jeremy or KJ, at least not anymore.
“You know what, Bryan? You're right. I can be naïve sometimes. Like when I first went out with KJ and everybody told me he was a dog. A fine dog, but a dog nonetheless. And, I was naïve for thinking that he really loved me when he was doing nothing more than trying to get the cookies. And, I was also naïve when he tried to get me to forgive him for getting me into that mess with Trecee. But, no more. I'm done listening to everybody tell me what to do and with whom,” I say, silencing Bryan. “Besides, you're supposed to be my uncle. What happened to whipping a dude's ass if he hurts me?” I ask, half-serious. My uncles, dad, or any other man I can think of has never gone to head for me, over nothing.
“Whatever, Jayd. You act like you don't know how niggas are, and I'm not buying that. You live in a house full of them. So, you ain't got nobody to blame but yourself.”
“Are you serious? How do you ever get girls to go out with you?” He's getting on my nerves and ruining my whole vibe, making the walk home seem longer than usual.
“Girls appreciate my honesty,” he says, patting himself on the chest and smiling big, like he deserves a medal or something. When we get home, the rest of my uncles are hangin' out on the front porch, drinking forties, smoking blunts, and talking loud to the neighbors hangin' with them. Mama must be gone. Bryan sits down and joins the session while I go around the back and into the house to call Nellie. I can't wait to tell her about my first kiss with Jeremy.
“Hello,” Nellie says. “Who is this?”
“What's up, girl. It's Jayd,” I say, like she didn't check her Caller ID.
“What's up, Miss Jackson? Or, should I say, Mrs. Weiner?” she says, being cute.
“Not yet, not yet. What's up?”
“Nothing. Me and Mickey are still here getting our nails done.” Only ballers can afford to get their nails done at the mall. I'm glad I got a new man to distract me from how broke I am when I'm around my girls. “What's up with you? Where did you and Jeremy end up going?”
“Ask her how was it,” Mickey yells from the background.
“Shut up, Mickey, and stop being ghetto before they kick our little chocolate asses out of here,” Nellie says, sounding embarrassed. How the two of them became friends, I'll never know.
“Tell that nosey heffa that all we did was kiss, and it was the bomb,” I say, barely able to contain my excitement. I don't want my uncles to hear me, especially not Bryan.
“Oh, Jayd. I'm so happy for you,” Nellie says, sounding genuine yet a little apprehensive.
“What, Nellie?” I say, bracing myself for her criticism. “What do you have to say?”
“Nothing, except that maybe you want to move slowly with this one, Jayd. I mean, damn. It's only the beginning of school, and already you've almost been in a fight, got two dudes jocking, and one of them is going to jail,” Nellie says, sounding way too dramatic for me.
“Nellie, get over it,” I say, feeling tired. “You always act like somebody's mama.” I have to admit I'm a little hurt my girl isn't completely excited about me and Jeremy getting closer.
“Just be careful, Jayd. That's all I'm saying. But, I am happy that everything seems to be working out for the two of you,” Nellie says, trying to save face.
“Whatever, girl. I'll talk to you later,” I say, hanging up the phone. People can piss me off sometimes, ya know. I should've just kept my happiness to myself since I seem to be the only one genuinely happy about me and my new man. Speaking of which, I need to look real cute for him tomorrow. Hopefully, I'll be able to see him before his hearing. I think I'll wear my pretty, bright yellow sundress and white sandals. He needs as much joy in his life as he can get, and so do I.
9
Habeas Corpus
“Nowadays everybody wanna talk like they got somethin' to say/but nothin' comes out when they move their lips; just a bunch of gibberish.”
—EMINEM
 
 
A
s I walk up the hill from my last bus stop for the morning, it's oddly quiet. Twenty minutes earlier than my normal arrival time, my usual spectators aren't out yet. The fresh salt air is rejuvenating and helps cool the sweat generating on my forehead from my uphill hike to school. Finally, a peaceful morning's walk in the South Bay. Good, because I need to focus on the day's looming drama. I already sent a text message to Nellie, asking her to meet me in the quad when she and Mickey arrive. I hope I can catch a few minutes alone to talk to Jeremy before they get there.
I couldn't stop thinking about Jeremy all night. I wonder what happened when he got home. Does his mother yell at him like Mama and my mom do when I've disappointed them? What kind of punishment does he get? I'm sure it's not a skillet upside the head or a shoe thrown from across the room, like the boys at Mama's house get when they're severely out of line.
I thought a lot about what Bryan said too. I should know better than to trust dudes with my feelings. These Negroes around here don't respect me or Mama as women or cherish us the way a woman should be. So, why should I expect any different from KJ or any other dude, for that matter? Well, I like to believe everyone's not raised the same and also that dudes can learn, change, and grow the hell up.
I got up a half hour earlier this morning to say a prayer for Jeremy. I can't believe Misty snitched on him. If he doesn't get out of this, I'll have to say a special prayer of a different kind for her. When I get to the quad, Nellie and Mickey are already there waiting on me. I guess they decided to get here early too.
“Jayd, did you talk to your man last night?” Nellie asks, reminding me that I need to call him again. I've been trying to get through to his cell all morning, but to no avail. I'm sure his folks have got him on lockdown with their attorneys before the big hearing.
“No, I didn't get a chance to last night. And his phone's been off all morning,” I say as I push send again on my cell, readjusting my position on the cold quad bench.
“Leave a message, or not.” Jeremy's message is so boring. I'm going to have to spice it up when we're officially a couple. No need to leave another message. I've already left five.
“He's still not answering.” I feel totally helpless.
“Maybe you should skip first period and hang around the office to see what's going on for yourself,” Mickey suggests.
“Jayd, the boy isn't worth you having an unexcused absence on your record, and you know that. This is what I'm saying, Mickey. Sometimes you're a bad influence on Jayd's impressionable, young mind,” Nellie says to Mickey, patting me on the head like a puppy.
“What the hell has gotten into everybody lately?” I say, slapping Nellie's hand away from my head. “You seem to think you know more than me about life all of a sudden, Miss Nellie. And, the last I recall, you haven't had a man in a long, long time.”
“Well, well, well. I see someone had her Red Bull this morning,” Mickey says, trying to add some comic relief to the situation. But, neither I nor Nellie is laughing.
“Damn, Jayd. I'm just watching your back, like a good friend is supposed to do. And, like a good friend, I'm going to walk away now and let you cool off,” she says, picking up her bag from the ground and leaving the quad area, going into the main hall.
“Look, Jayd,” Mickey begins, grabbing her bag and standing up, ready to follow Nellie. “Bottom line is, if Jeremy's your man and you want to support him, do it. That's the most important thing. Because, when the shit gets rough, all y'all really got is each other.” Spoken like a true ride-or-die chick. That's what I like about Mickey; she's loyal to the ones she loves. “I'll check you later, and good luck to your man,” she says as she walks toward the main hall. She's right. I do have to find a way to support Jeremy.
As the bell rings for first period and people start running to their lockers and exchanging vital beginning-of-the-day information, I remember my Spanish book is in my locker. But, instead of going to go get it now, I think I'll wait until first period starts. I bet I can get a hall pass from Mr. Donald, avoiding an unexcused absence while still supporting my man.
Since I changed my outfit at the last minute this morning, I forgot to bring a jacket, and it's still chilly from the morning mist. But I know it's going to be at least ninety degrees by lunch. Even though my pink shirt is off the shoulders, it has long sleeves, so at least my arms will be warm because this miniskirt sure isn't providing me with any coverage. As I walk away from the quad and toward class, I notice Chance coming my way.
“Hey, girl, you look a little cold,” Chance says, taking off his jacket and covering my body with it. “Worried about your boy, huh?” he asks.
“Yeah. I must be in another world if I forgot to wear sweats under my skirt and a sweater this morning,” I say, putting my arms through his oversized jacket. It smells so good, like leather and Polo for men. “Thank you.”
“No problem. Besides, now that you're my boy's girl, I got to protect his assets when he's not around,” he says, pulling me close to him and hugging me tight like a brother protecting his little sis.
“Is that what he told you?” I ask, looking up at him for the truth. We're in front of my classroom, and I know the bell's going to ring any second.
“How was the beach yesterday?” he counters with a sly smile.
“What do you know?” I ask, pulling away to look him dead in the eye, but I'm smiling a little too.
“Let's just say you've left a lasting impression on the boy. See you later, Jayd, and don't worry about Jeremy. He always lands on his feet,” Chance says as he runs down the hallway to his own class. I wonder what he meant by that. I'll just have to ask Jeremy myself when I do finally see him. Now, about that hall pass ...
 
It's eerie being the only person in the main hall right after the bell rings. I left Chance's coat in the room because the entire point of me wearing this little outfit was to give Jeremy some inspiration, if you know what I mean. And, if I do catch him, I want him to see me in all my glory.
As I approach the office, I see the clock says eight on the dot. It took Mr. Donald too long to call roll this morning. Knowing the administrators at this school, they probably started Jeremy's hearing right on time, which means I've more than likely missed my opportunity to catch him and wish him good luck before it begins, but I hope not. Sometimes during hearings the students are left outside while the administrators and parents talk. I hope this is one of those times.
Approaching the end of the main hall, I straighten out my skirt, take a quick glance at my reflection in the window above the double doors, and head toward the back entrance of the main office. “What are you doing, Misty?” I whisper as I open the door to the office to see her standing by the principal's door, snooping as usual. Where's Mrs. Cole? She rarely ever leaves her desk.
“SHHH! Do you want to get us both busted?” she whispers loudly, shooing me away from the office and back into the main hall. “What are you doing out of class?” she asks, closing the office door like she's got some authority because she's an aide.
“Look, Misty, I don't have time for this right now. I want to see if I can catch Jeremy before the hearing begins,” I say, pushing past her to step back into the office, but she blocks me again.
“Uhmm, hate to burst your bubble, but the hearings have already started, Foxy Brown,” she says. “And, your little White boy's in for it too. I don't care what kind of curse you put on that boy. You're not gone be able to get him out of this one,” she says, twirling her extra-curly hair with her index finger and snapping her gum, like a true ghetto girl. “You better get out of here before Mrs. Cole gets back from the attendance office.”
“Misty, as usual, you don't know shit. And, what the hell are you doing out of class anyway?” I ask, realizing she's as much in the wrong right now as I am. That's why she's trying to get rid of me; she's on an information mission. Well, she's not gonna know anything about Jeremy before I do. Just as I prepare to force my way past this girl, Jeremy comes out of the principal's office with a short White woman who's wearing a business suit and glasses. She must be his attorney.
“Jeremy,” I shout, making sure he hears me. Misty turns around to shoot me a look of hatred and jealousy.
“Jayd. Hey, girl. How'd you get out of class?” he asks, walking toward me with his arms opened wide.
“I have my ways. Besides, you know I had to come and wish you good luck,” I say, giving him a big hug and kiss on the cheek. I'd love a repeat of yesterday, but there will be plenty of time for celebrating later, I pray. “What are you doing out here?”
“The principal and Special Needs counselor wanted a moment alone with my parents. Sorry I couldn't call you back. My mom took my phone until after the hearing. She wanted me to be in the zone,” he says, holding me by the waist and looking down at me, totally relaxed. I wish I had his confidence.
“Jeremy, I'm going back into the office but don't go anywhere,” his attorney says.
“Hate to break up your little love fest,” Misty says from her perch on top of Mrs. Cole's desk where she can inspect the entire office. “But, Mrs. Cole's coming, and you really shouldn't be here.”
“We wouldn't be here at all if it weren't for your big mouth,” I say, tired of Misty's meddling. But from the look on her face, I can tell she doesn't want me to call her out in front of Jeremy, which makes me want to even more. “Baby, do you know how Stan and Dan knew to find you after lunch?” I ask, looking up at Jeremy.
Jeremy looks from Misty to me, putting two and two together, and slowly answers, “No, actually I don't. But, from past personal experience, it was probably another student. People are always jealous and ratting people out up here,” he says, taking the words right out of my mouth. All this time I thought Misty hated on me because of KJ. Now I realize she's just one of those people who will always and forever be a hater, no matter who I'm dating.
“Whatever,” she says, ignoring Jeremy and returning to her original statement. “All I know is Mrs. Cole is coming, and you should be grateful I warned you,” Misty says.
“I have a hall pass, Misty, which means, as usual, your help is unwanted.” Feeling my heat, Misty goes back into the main hall. Why isn't she in class?
“How do you do that?” I ask, looking up at Jeremy. He's so cute.
“What?” he says, looking back toward his attorney, who's now waiting for him at the door to the principal's office, and then back down at me.
“Be chill at all times.”
“It's a gift. Speaking of which, thank you for being here. It means a lot to me,” he says, kissing me on the nose, like the prelude to yesterday's shower of kisses.
“Where else would I be?” I say, knowing my ass should be in class.
“Well, let me get back to my lawyer before she has a fit. She's a real control freak,” he says, nodding his head toward her. “By the way, you look good, girl. Damn, you got body,” he says, eyeing me up and down with the sexiest smirk on his face. “What are you doing after school?” he asks in a tone suggesting he already knows the answer.
“Well, I was going to get my nails done, and then maybe go to the mall with my girls ...” I say, purposely giving him a hard time. He knows it's Friday and I'm going to Inglewood. Unlike my girls, I don't get my nails done. Like my mom, I do them myself. Speaking of which, she's coming to get me after school today because she's getting off work a little early, so I won't have much time to kick it, but I'm sure we will make it work.
“Yeah, right. I'll see you after school, all right? I'll call you as soon as I get out of here and let you know the verdict,” he says. How can the same arrogance KJ exudes come across as sexy, cool confidence on this dude? I must be sprung. “And, what happened to the coat Chance gave you? He sent me a text warning me about your gear already,” he says, sounding a little possessive. I hate when guys do that crap. “You should put it back on. I'm sure it looks good on you.”
“Yes sir, Jeremy sir,” I say, saluting him like I'm in boot camp.
“I didn't mean it like that,” he says, looking hurt and a little embarrassed. He can be so sensitive sometimes.
“Jeremy, let's go. We don't have all day,” his attorney says. “Your parents have other things to do, and so do I.”
Misty has snaked her way back to the chairs outside the principal's office, like she's been sitting there all along—she's good at what she does—watching us. Mrs. Cole returns to her desk, scoping the scene. I better wrap this up quick before I find myself on lockdown with Misty again.

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