Second Chance at Forever (Forever Book 2) (35 page)

LEAVING WALKER AGAIN was incredibly hard to do, but I knew I needed some time to think. He was always the master of his universe. The Walker Reed I knew then, and the one I knew now were one and the same. He still was the master of his universe and the owner of my heart. If this was someone else’s story, I don’t think I would quite believe it. My life had completely changed over the course of a week, and I feared my decisions would hurt my daughter in the end. I knew Samuel was devastated by me asking him for a divorce. Whether Walker was in my life or not, I wanted out for a long time now.

It was too late for regrets. In life, you make decisions, and you have to be responsible for the choices you make. My marriage to Samuel produced my greatest accomplishment…my daughter Riley. Riley would always be the thing that sealed my bond with Samuel, but a long time ago, I had given my heart to someone else and never got it back. It felt like I’d been living someone else’s life all these years, and now I had a chance to get my old one back. Was this just a fantasy I was trying to convince myself to believe?

Our connection was still as strong as ever. The sex between us was unbelievably amazing. Walker had told me that once I submitted my heart over to him, I was his.
You are mine
took on a whole new meaning once we reunited. He promised me that I would never have to return back to Samuel, and I was home where I belonged. He didn’t know that I had already broken the new promise of commitment I pledged to him. I had sex with Samuel. I tried with all my effort not to, but Samuel was determined to bed me again, and I had no choice. I kept reciting over and over again “It’s just my body, and Walker is the one who has my heart.” Samuel was in complete denial. He thought that making love to me would make me realize how much we belonged together, and that the idea of divorcing was unfathomable.

I blamed myself for what happened after. Samuel would have never hit me if I didn’t push him to the brink. He kept pushing me to be honest with him, but as much as I didn’t want to hurt him, that’s exactly what I did with my revelation. I practically screamed it at him, throwing Walker in his face. Last night after leaving Walker and Jackson, we returned home to this house.

Riley immediately ran upstairs to her room, and I heard her cry herself to sleep. She refused to speak with me. Samuel was packing another bag for himself to take to the hotel. The sight of him packing hurt my heart. Samuel looked defeated and sad. With Walker’s insistence, I had a guard posted outside to watch my home, safeguarding Riley and me. The thought of Samuel hurting us was abhorrent to me. What happened in the Caribbean was already forgotten and forgiven. I could only speak for me, but I held no ill will toward Samuel. Once again, his actions were on me. I made the decision a long time ago to leave my marriage, and now it was time to face my choices head on…beginning with my daughter.

It was just about six a.m. I went downstairs to make some coffee. No use going back to sleep now. Samuel and I agreed on meeting today to talk. I would meet him over at the hospital after his morning surgeries. I also had to phone Marsha and explain all to her. Riley broke me out of my deep thought as she entered the kitchen.

“Good morning, baby. Are you leaving?” I asked.

She sighed, and wiped a tear from her cheek. “I’m meeting daddy for breakfast at his hotel before I go to school.”

I shouldn’t have been surprised by this. Riley and Samuel were very close, but I feared sides would be taken.

“Did he ask you to do that?”

“Yes, he did mom. He’s my father, and I wasn’t going to say no to him.”

“Riley, that’s not what I was implying. I just want to know if you’re okay.”

“Are you serious, mom? How can you ask me that after all that’s happened? To be honest, mom, I really don’t know how I feel. A week ago we were sitting in your walk in closet surrounded by clothes, and we were laughing. I was so excited to get to New York, visit my school, and be with Jackson. Now a week later, my mother is divorcing my father, leaving him for my boyfriend’s father—her long lost love—and you want to know if I’m okay? Um…No! I’m not.”

“Riley, my past with Walker is complicated, and up to a week ago, it was very private. I never shared my past about Walker with anyone but your father. You can’t even imagine how I felt when I saw him again in that restaurant. I never in my wildest dreams ever thought I would lay eyes on him again.”

“That’s just it, mom. You did, and now you’re leaving my father for him. Did you ever really love daddy? What happens to him now? I’m all for the happily ever after’s mom, but you’re leaving a trail of pain a mile long to get what you always wanted, and I can’t help but feel incredibly sorry for my father. He loves you, and no matter what happened while we were away, that can be forgiven. He was out of his mind when I told him who Jackson’s father was. In a way I feel like this is my fault. If I hadn’t been going on about him, maybe he would have found out in another way that he could better handle it.”

“Riley, nothing that has happened is your fault. Do you remember how I was crying the day we left for New York, and you asked me what was wrong. I gave you a half truth when you questioned me. I had just gotten off the phone with Grandma Lila, and it wasn’t an easy conversation.”

I continued, “I was remembering my time with Walker and what happened to make me leave him. Circumstances led me to your father, but Riley, I can’t sit here and tell you that it was true love for your father and me. This, my daughter, would be a lie, and I have had enough of that to last me a lifetime, maybe more. I will always love your father for being my friend. He helped me through the toughest time in my life, and he gave me a chance to start over.”

I went on, “Riley, I tried to love him, really love your father in the way he deserved, but I was never really able to give him my whole heart. I’m so sorry if this hurts you, but you need to know the truth. My life with Walker was stolen from me. His father brutally forced me out of his life. I lost my baby…my baby with Walker. I was alone and completely isolated from my friends and family. I wanted to die, Riley, but your father saved me and gave me hope. His friendship helped me heal, but I never ever lied to him. He believed that true love would come in time for us, and he would be there waiting when it did. Once I agreed to marry him and we moved to Maryland, the Samuel I knew began to change. He was ambitious in his career. He wanted the brass ring, and his hard work has paid off, Riley, but it has also cost him a great deal as well.”

“Oh my god, mom, this story just gets worse and worse. I don’t think I have the stomach to hear anymore. I know Jackson filled me in on some of it, but I had no idea about any of this. I have to go, mom.”

“Riley, please don’t hate me. I’m so sorry that I’m hurting you right now.”

She wiped her eyes and turned away from me. I wanted to make her stay, but I knew I’d given her much to think about.

“I don’t hate you mom, I’m just trying to understand you. Daddy is waiting on me.”

Shit!
This was so not how I wanted to handle today. What the hell was wrong with me? I should have just kept my mouth shut and let Riley talk, but no, I had to run off about my past with Walker and revealed so much to her already fragile state.
She’s eighteen years old, for god sakes. This is the best time of her life right now. She’s about to graduate high school and go off to college, but instead she is knee deep with my drama.
My cell has gone off again for the third time this morning, no doubt Walker calling me. Four missed calls all from Walker, and one voicemail.

“I guess I’ll settle for hearing your voice on your voicemail than not to hear it at all. Baby, I know you’re hiding right now, but you don’t have to. Please, all that I ask is for you to have faith, and please Reese, don’t run again. New York, and what happened in the Caribbean, was a complete mind fuck. I know this, but it also led me back to you. I love you, Reese, and I meant what I said…I am never going to let you go again. Please call me.”

I saved his message, but I didn’t call him. I wanted to more than anything, but I couldn’t have Walker completely consume me. I quickly got showered and dressed. Not only was Walker on my voicemail, but one angry text was also waiting for me and it was from Marsha. She said that she would be flying out to Maryland and would be seeing me today. Her no-nonsense attitude was screaming at me through her text message. I knew she was angry at me for bailing on Freddy, but hopefully once she hears why I didn’t make it, she will understand.

Two hours after receiving her message, here she was barreling through my door with her hands flailing in the air.

“Do you want to tell me why the fuck you didn’t show up in Central Park to see Freddy? What the hell is wrong with you, Peaches?” She said my nickname mockingly, and her voice was so laced with anger.

“Marsha, I know you’re angry, but don’t think I’m just going to allow you to come into my home and spout out obscenities at me, especially when you don’t even know the story.”

“Okay, Reese, I’m sorry for the potty mouth, but don’t act all innocent. It’s not like you haven’t heard it before. The last time we talked, you mentioned your hot guy, Walker. Now, I’m sure the reunion was sheet clenching great, but oy vey, Reese, what about Freddy? You said you wanted to see his show and talk with him.”

“Marsha, I had every intention on meeting up with you. I was so excited to finally see Freddy again. I had told Riley that a spa day was all arranged for us, but the truth was so much better. I was going to surprise her with the fashion show, and then I would speak with Freddy, but someone stopped me from doing that.”

“Who, Reese? Walker?”

“It wasn’t Walker. My husband showed up in New York and forced me to go with him to the Caribbean. He thought if he took us away on a family vacation that all our problems would magically disappear. You know I had asked Samuel for a divorce, and needless to say he didn’t take it very well. He wouldn’t take no for an answer. He forced us to check out of our hotel in New York. He took Riley’s phone, and within an hour, he had us on a private plane. I had no choice but to go with him. Riley knew nothing of Walker and me. It wasn’t like I could just tell Samuel about my former lover.”

“Oy vey, Reese! What the hell happened next?”

“I’ll give you the short version. The truth came out about Walker and me. Samuel was devastated. We argued verbally, and then physically, and then Walker showed up and rescued me. My marriage to Samuel is over, and Walker is back home in California, waiting on me to return to him.”

“Is it too early for a bourbon? Because after that, I sure could use one. I’m sorry, honey, for flying off the handle. I should have trusted you better than that. I just wanted you and Freddy to reconnect so badly.”

“I know, I’m sorry too. How is he? And how did the show go?”

“The show was a success. The foundation raised over a hundred thousand dollars, and you know Freddy, he’s an attention whore. He strutted his bad self all over that runway, but he was incredibly proud that all of his hard work has led him here.”

“What’s next for him?”

“He’s still in New York, if that’s what you’re asking. He told me he has no plans of returning home to Milan at this time. He has everything running smoothly over there under the watchful eyes of his partner, Fabrizio. Fabs is the C.O.O. and keeps everything in top form while the boss is away.”

“Wow, Freddy has certainly come a long way. His father always predicted success for him, and now he is the C.E.O. and lead designer of his own fashion house. He lives in Milan?”

“Primarily, yes, but he splits his time in New York, as well. He tried Los Angeles many years ago, but he never enjoyed the west coast.”

“I guess Freddy is very fortunate to have a trusted employee to help him with the business.”

“Read between the lines, country girl. Fabrizio is not only his business partner, but he is Freddy’s life partner. They’ve been together for more than ten years now.”

Pangs of guilt once again riddled through my heart. I should have known this. I knew absolutely nothing about my best friend’s life anymore.

“Hey, Peaches, where did you just go?”

I smiled back at Marsha, while trying to fight back the tears. “Oh Marsha, he’s never going to forgive me for leaving him the way I did. I wouldn’t forgive me. I’ve missed so much in his life. We were supposed to be friends forever and live in each other’s lives. This is what I tried to explain to Walker, that not only did I leave him, but Freddy too! I was fooling myself if I thought for a minute that Freddy would just act as if the last years didn’t happen. I think him seeing me would have just caused him pain, and that would be the last thing I would want to do. I’m happy for Freddy and will continue to do so from a distance.”

“You can’t be serious, Reese! Do you not know Freddy, at all? That man loves you and has never forgotten you for all the Peaches in the entire state of Georgia. He named his foundation after you! What will it take for you to realize that your friendship with Freddy can be salvaged if you would just stop feeling sorry for yourself and go see him? You said you wanted to reclaim what you lost, well start with repairing your friendship with Freddy. He loves you, and I promise he won’t turn you away. If I’m wrong, then sue me, but I don’t think so. Life is too short to be carrying around all this bullshit. You’re the only one that can change your life, Reese, but it needs to start by putting one foot in front of the other. It’s up to you, my friend.”